Suppressed

AN: Thanks for the reviews! They\'re making me want to write more... I\'m having a bit of writers block at the moment, I\'ll be fine with Ch 10 I think but after that... well hopefully I\'ll get through it. Anyway, Enjoy!!!

Standard Disclaimer: They aren\'t mine

The next couple of days passed as Shigure predicted. Kyo’s nightmares subsided, at least for the time being, and Yuki seemingly retreated from the face of the Earth. He left for school before Kyo awoke, came home before bedtime only on nights he walked Tohru home from work, and was seen only when he’d come out to steal Tohru away for one reason or the other. Kyo began to worry, though he’d never admit it to anyone but… well anyone, really.

It couldn’t be avoided. One day there was absolutely nothing for Yuki to do at school, so he was forced to come home directly thereafter.

“Bye guys!” Tohru called as she left for work.

“I guess we’re stuck walking together.” Kyo said as they exited the building.

“Actually,” Yuki said, “I forgot I need to grab a book from the library, you go ahead.” He turned and started back into the school.

“No, it’s O.K., I’ll wait.” Kyo replied shrugging, surprising himself.

Yuki paused and gave him a funny look.

“What?” Kyo asked.

The mouse shrugged. “If you want to.” The two walked silently to the library.

Actually, the two walked silently to the library, silently back out of the building, and silently down the street. Kyo mused over the question forming in his mind. He had to know, but he just didn’t know how to ask. This silence was uncomfortable.

“Um… rat boy?” He asked as they arrived on the path to their house.

Yuki cocked his head. “Yes.”

“Um… a couple of weeks ago, when you said you had… you know…” He blushed and swallowed. “It wasn’t by any chance…” Kyo’s pulse was racing, “with Akito?” He asked.

Yuki stopped, panic illuminating his face. He shook his head and reclaimed his indifferent vise continuing to walk forward.

“It was… wasn’t it?” Kyo said dejectedly, as his mind replayed the visions from his dream. “That’s why you got so quiet a couple of months ago, huh?”

Yuki dropped his head and nodded slowly.

“What a bastard.” Kyo muttered.

“Well…” Yuki began softly. “Oh, never mind.”

“What is it?” Kyo asked. “I won’t tell anyone or anything.”

“It wasn’t like… it wasn’t like that was my first time or anything. I’d done it before.”

“With Haru?” Kyo asked.

“Um… yeah, with Haru.” Yuki answered quickly, averting his eyes.

“I know this is personal,” the kitty began, “but was it weird, being with a guy?”

Yuki shrugged. “No, it wasn’t like that.” He paused. “That sounds weird, but it was like it wasn’t an issue. I mean I still don’t consider myself to be gay or anything, it’s just kind of like my sexuality was fluid.” He paused again. “It seemed to be more natural than anything… ever.”

“So you loved him?” Kyo asked.

Yuki nodded, still refusing to meet his gaze.

“Still do, huh?” He asked.

Yuki nodded again. “But it will never be the same. I can’t… I won’t fool myself into thinking otherwise.

“You know,” Kyo began, “just because it will never be the same doesn’t mean it can’t still be good. At least if you want it to be.”

Kyo looked into Yuki’s sad and tired eyes. “Haru’s right, you have softened.” The mouse commented.

“I CAN STILL KICK YOU ASS!!!” Kyo shouted.

Yuki smiled. “No you can’t.” He sighed. “Oh well, for a few moments I thought you’d switched places with Tohru. You’re starting to sound like her.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.” Kyo muttered. “Hey, does she know about… well anything?”

Yuki shook his head. “She just thinks Akito… well, slapped me around a bit. And she doesn’t know anything about Haru, so don’t tell her. I think she’d be upset if she found out I didn’t tell her something like that.” He paused. “And while you’re at it, I wouldn’t mention anything to Haru either, he’s been pretty touchy lately.”

Kyo nodded. “Sure thing.” ‘That’s weird, if it’s over, why are they still being so secretive about it?’ He wondered. ‘Akito already knows anyway.’ They walked in silence for a bit. “You know,” he began, “if you still feel so strongly about him, why don’t you tell him. He deserves to know at least.”

“It isn’t that easy.” He sighed heavily. “I he knew it would hurt him, and being together would bring us more pain that joy. It’s just not… possible. Besides, he’s got Rin to worry about, he always loved her more anyway.”

“I wouldn’t say that fore sure.” Kyo said, heart heavy. He felt sick to his stomach. As much as he always wanted to see Yuki in pain, the real thing wasn’t quite as fulfilling as he’d thought. He wanted to do something for him, but how could he possibly take his mind off of Haru? Sick creeping jealousy oozed through Kyo’s veins so slowly he didn’t even realize it was taking root.

They kicked off their shoes as they arrived home, each going their separate ways.


Super special in progress AN: I know this next part is a little contrived (a lot contrived) but I thought I could have some fun with my creative license. Gimmie a break for one scene, kay? PLEASE!!! It isn’t central to the plot or anything, I promise… Actually, from here on out we’re going to have some OOC things happening more often. I’ll try to keep it as believable as possible.

Kyo came bounding down the stairs as the scent of food permeated the house. Yuki was setting a tray of takeout boxes on the table.

“Where’s Tohru?” He asked.

“She’s staying over at Hanajima’s tonight.” Shigure informed him.

“Oh. Why the hell doesn’t anyone tell me anything around here?!?”

“We do, you don’t listen.” Yuki said coolly.

Kyo started to grin. He couldn’t help but be happy that at least a shadow of his former rival had returned. Then he noticed Shigure staring at him. ‘Damn dog!’ He thought. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?!” Kyo screamed.

“Maybe if you’d quit making so much noise all the time…”

“I DO NOT MAKE A LOT OF NOISE!!!”

Yuki sighed and started serving himself from the boxes. Kyo followed suit. When he was sure Shigure wasn’t looking, he caught the mouse’s eye and smiled. Yuki smiled timidly back, quickly averting his eyes, burying them in his food.

(prepare for the fun but contrived part)

Shigure hopped up from the table. “I almost forgot!”

“What the hell are you talking about, damn dog?”

“While Tohru was gone, I decided it might be the perfect opportunity to try this new drink I made.”

“I’m afraid.” Yuki said flatly.

“No, no! It’s really good!” He assured them.

“You think boiled radishes and curry are good.”

“Yeah, rat boy’s got a point there.”

He came back into the room with a pitcher and some glasses.

“It’s some kind of iced tea!” He displayed the pitcher. “It has spices in it!”

Yuki raised his eyebrow. “You didn’t put something in it, did you?”

“Ye of little faith!!!” He poured himself a glass and took a sip. “See, I wouldn’t try to contaminate myself, then it would be no fun for me to watch you guys!”

He poured large glasses for his younger cousins.

Kyo took a hesitant sip. It was pleasant, though the aftertaste burned his nose and throat. “What kind of iced tea was it again?” He asked suspiciously.

“Long Island.”

“Shigure, that has alcohol in it!!!” Yuki hissed.

“You guys are big kids now, I think you can take it. Besides, it doesn’t have that much alcohol in it.” He lied. “You’ve had Sake, you know how bad alcohol tastes. If it was that potent you’d know!”

Kyo shrugged and continued sipping along, draining one glass just to have it replaced by another.

“I’ll clean up.” Shigure offered as he boxed the leftovers. “Why don’t you guys go and watch TV or something.

When Shigure returned, the two were sprawled out in front of the TV, sitting just a little closer than what they would usually deem comfortable. Shigure smiled.

“What the hell are you smiling about… damn… dog.” Kyo was having trouble forming his words. He scrunched his face, trying to make sense of his predicament. He chewed on his tongue. ‘My tongue is numb,’ he thought. ‘Must have had too much of that drink.’ He stood and the world rocked before him. The bathroom appeared to be fleeing down a tunnel. “Damn dog.” He muttered, blindly groping his way down the hallway.

Upon his return, he flopped noisily down next to Yuki, who appeared to be unnaturally tense, and grasping the leg of the table mercilessly. “What’s wrong withhh you?” Kyo slurred.

Yuki’s gaze remained fixed to the wall. “If I let go of the table, I think I’m going to fall off the world.” He replied matter-of-factly. He caught Kyo’s questioning vise and gaping mouth; he smiled. “I’m not serious… entirely.”

Kyo started laughing. The rat sounded so intense! Yuki’s smile broadened a little. He chuckled softly at the cat. “I guess you had… a little too much… alssso.” He couldn’t contain his laughter, but he wasn’t sure why.

Yuki nodded and exhaled. “Stupid dog.” He muttered.

“You know…” Kyo panted, trying to recover from his bout of laughter, “you’re even dignified when you’re drunk!”

“And you’re even louder.” Yuki commented.

“I AM NOT LOUD!!!” Kyo tried to be serious, but his laugher again got the best of him. After it had subsided a bit, he turned to Yuki. His death grip on the table leg had vanished. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily. He looked unconscious, yet delightfully peaceful. How could Akito ever do anything to hurt such a precious being? “Hey rat boy.” Kyo whispered.

“Mmm?” Yuki grumbled.

“I’m sorry.” The kitty mumbled.

Yuki lazily flopped his hand in his direction before letting it crash to the floor with a thump. Kyo smiled and flipped on his back. He closed his eyes and let the impending unconsciousness get the best of him.

Kyo awoke feeling warm and rested, though his temples were pounding in the worst sort of way. He was sure it was late. He opened his eyes to discover he was laying in a futon with his arms securely fastened around a sleeping rat. In fact, he was using Yuki’s chest as a pillow. His jaw dropped. ‘What the hell?’ He thought, searching his memory for any recollection of why Yuki would be in his bed. He was comfortable though and was finding himself reluctant to pull away. He was trying to figure out how to leave without disturbing the mouse when he heard him groan.

Their eyes met. Yuki’s eyes bugged when he saw who was entwined around him. Panic shot through his features. “I… umm… what’s going on?” He asked, breath heavy.

“How the hell should I know! What are you doing in my room?!?” He hissed.

“You’re in my room!”

“Oh,” Kyo said, looking around. “Did you drag me up here, pervert?” He snapped.

“No, I passed out before you did, stupid cat.” Yuki sighed. “Besides, I’m not Shigu…”

“Oh.” They said in unison.

“Damn dog!” Kyo muttered. He sat up sighing, finally dislodging himself from Yuki. The places where their torsos had been joined felt unnaturally cold as the morning air rushed to them. Kyo sighed, a little disappointed.

Yuki smiled mischievously. “You know what we could do.”

Kyo cocked his head. “What?”

“Well I’m sure Shigure is just biding for our reaction. So if we don’t mention anything... It’ll drive him crazy.”

“I like the way you think.” Kyo smiled at the damn rat, excited for their plan to take form. He left the rat’s room and crept down the hallway ready to change for the day.

Kyo came downstairs for breakfast surprised to see Yuki, already dressed, chatting with Tohru about her evening with her friends.

“Oh, good morning Kyo!” Tohru chirped. “I’ll get your breakfast ready!”

Yuki glared at Kyo as she left. He scanned the room then smiled at him. “Are you ready for this?” He asked.

Kyo nodded, “You betcha.” His smile faded to a glare as Tohru entered with his breakfast.

The mouse continued to flirt lightly with Tohru, and Kyo pretended to glare and sulk. He had to admit though, not all of the jealousy he was faking was an act. Once again he convinced himself that it was Tohru’s attention he was craving, not that damn rat’s. ‘But he never smiles like that.’ He thought. ‘I mean, he never even looks at me when he’s around her.’ He panicked. ‘I mean SHE never looks at me when she’s around HIM!!!’

Shigure entered the room smiling brightly. “Yuki, I see you slept in today. Did you sleep well then?” He asked.

Yuki nodded, barely acknowledging the dog.

“Kyo, what about you?” He implored.

Kyo nodded. “Yeah, I guess I slept alright.”

Shigure looked back and forth between the two expectantly, eyes wide in anticipation.

“What?” Kyo asked.

Shigure pouted and followed Tohru into the kitchen after breakfast. Yuki’s somber disposition immediately brightened.

He started snickering. “That was hilarious.” He gasped between snorts.

Kyo smiled. “It was pretty funny.” But the funnier part was Yuki snorting and trying to keep his cereal from coming out his nose. “Quiet!” He exclaimed. “Here they come.”

Again they retained their previous posture. Yuki stared blankly into his breakfast and Kyo glared angrily at Yuki.

“How has your morning been?” Shigure asked, trying to resurrect his practical joke.

Neither of the two answered.

“Gee, Shigure, it’s been great. Is that too much to ask?” He pouted again.

“It was fine.” Yuki replied, giving him a sideways glance. “It was a morning.”

Kyo also looked like the dog had gone nuts. “Yeah, I mean I just got up. Everything is always fine.” He paused. “Except when I have to eat breakfast with that damn rat!”

Yuki didn’t reply, simply ignored the comment. After a bit, Kyo watched him peak up at Shigure. He also glanced the dog’s way. His face truly was priceless. He looked like a lost puppy. Yuki buried his face in his cereal. He choked.

“Yuki, are you O.K.?” Tohru asked.

The mouse nodded, coughing a few times. “I’ll be right back.” He said covering his face and ducking outside.

Kyo was worried. He tried to think of an excuse to follow the rat outside. “WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM!?!” He screamed, hopping up from the table. “YOU WANNA FIGHT?!?” He followed Yuki outside and slammed the door behind him. He chased Yuki as he disappeared into the woods. He found him sitting on the ground face buried in his hands.

“Are you O.K.?” Kyo asked, noticing how the rat’s shoulders were shaking.

Yuki nodded and looked up. His face was red, and tears were glistening at the corners of his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He choked, I ruined everything.

“What are you talking about?” Kyo asked, squatting next to him.

“That was the funniest thing… I’ve ever seen!!!” Yuki dissolved into a fit of laughter.

Kyo relaxed. He’d never really seen the rat laugh. Especially not like this. He smiled and let the laughter overcome him also. Yuki looked pretty funny himself, all doubled over and clutching his sides. Kyo sighed, he inadvertently placed his hand on Yuki’s shoulder. Yuki looked up and smiled at him.

“Who knew I, of all people, couldn’t control my emotions?” Yuki chuckled a bit. “I thought I was the master of the cold, indifferent stare.”

“So you admit your stare is cold and indifferent?” Kyo teased.

Yuki shrugged, leaning in towards Kyo as he brushed the dirt off of his hands. He bumped into him, Kyo didn’t back up. He looked into the mouse’s eyes as he turned ready to stand. It was though Yuki suddenly realized how close they were. The mouse swallowed.

He tilted his chin, it almost brushed with Kyo’s. “It isn’t always cold and indifferent!”

Kyo shrugged, noting how right now the mouse looked timid and sweet. His eyes were swirling with torrents of conflicting emotions. “You hide your disappointment better than Shigure, at least.”

Yuki started to laugh again. He closed his eyes and smiled. He placed an innocent kiss square on Kyo’s lips. Kyo felt his face go blank. His rival’s features were swimming with confusion and panic.

“I…” The mouse mumbled nervously, eyes darting to and fro. “I’m sorry… I… I… I don’t know what came over me.” He backed up and scrambled to his feet.

Kyo still hadn’t moved. He blinked a few times, still staring into Yuki’s frightened eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated. He turned on his heel and walked briskly into the woods.

Kyo touched his lips. They were still tingling from the unexpected contact. He stood and stumbled back to the house. Tohru and Shigure met him with worried gazes as he slumped to the floor.

“He won.” Kyo mumbled quietly.