Random Parodies
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+. to F › Angel Sanctuary
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
10
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2,414
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
+. to F › Angel Sanctuary
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
10
Views:
2,414
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Angel Sanctuary, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Blame the Juicy Goodness
Rosiel is seen banging on the cash register , trying to get the shiny things and doesn’t realize Haley’s in there because he’s a dumb ass and has the attention span of a bologna sandwich named Franklin (‘Cause everyone knows that bologna is for retards), and finally he breaks it open as shiny things and Haley fly out. Haley then suddenly grabs a few of the coins and tries to put them in Katan’s “naughty spot”. “Wait! That’s not a coin slot!” Katan shouts, as Rosiel replies “well, not from my experience.” -Evil grin-
Maddie then pulls out a book called “Dialogs with the Devil” and Katan asked what its about. Maddie goes into an explanation about how (A/N disregard anything about “Angel Sanctuary” ) its about an on going argument with Lucifer and Michael through letters. Lucifer doesn’t hate god, and is sad that man it unworthy of gods love, and that they taint their ‘father’. Michael had the opposite end if the argument, saying that god is right, and that Lucifer should give man a chance, and so on. After that, Katan and Maddie go into a heated conversation about philosophy and the whole subject on the book and who is right . Haley and Rosiel are seen with their heads cocked to the sides, drool pooling at the ends of their mouths.
(This is our friend Erin’s ideas mixed with ours, we’re exchanging ideas live via phone!)
All of a sudden, lightning crashes, a wolf can be heard howling in the distance, as rain begins to pound outside. The doorknob begins rattling ominously, before the door swings back, clattering against the wall, and then bouncing back and hitting the person who is entering in the face. Erin stumbles through the door, on her hands and knees, muttering, “There goes my dramatic entrance.” Maddie nonchalantly turns a page, and can be heard mumbling, “That must be Erin and Stephan”. “So Maddie, it appears that you are once again reading literature to baffle the minds of the intellectually impaired.” Maddie then replies, “And once again you appear to be ruining your dramatic entrances.” Erin then kicks the door, and grumbles “It was the door’s damn fault” She stubs her toe against the door , as Stephan saunters into the room, shock collar around his neck. He then spots Ira and cries out, “What the fuck are you doing here?” And then Ira, being his smartass self, says “Hm, counselor office. Probably the same thing you’re doing in here.” Stephan then replies in shock, “You tried to rape Axle from Kingdom Hearts as well?” Ira replies, “No, I just get deeply, mentally disturbed from following the group of rapists around for the lack of something interesting to do.” “Ah”
Rosiel looks back and forth between the two of them, and says, “Whoa, Ira do you have a mirror in front of you? I should so learn to do that.” “Who’s the imbecile?” Stephan inquires idly to Ira. “I don’t know, I rarely acknowledge his existence anyways.” Stephan’s eyes flicker to the other room’s occupants. “Anyone care to enlighten me?” “He’s a stupid monkey head who’s trying to steal Birdyman!” Haley cries out childishly, pouting towards Rosiel. “I made him” Rosiel replied irritably. “Nuh-uh.” “Yeah” “Well…..your face!” “What about it?” “Your face is stupid and ugly, and smelly!” “Nuh-uh!” They then start having a sissy slap fight. Stephan looks over to Ira. “So this is what you’re life has been like, dear brother?” “Yeah, basically, aside from having to take all the blame when Maddie breaks something.” Erin inquires, “Does that include breaking Katan’s ass?” “No, I do that myself.” Maddie says smugly.
As Erin starts to say something because she’s feels ignored, the counselor walks out, and he is very sexy. Stephan begins drooling profusely, as Ira pushes his jaw back up. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you?” “Non, I have not.” Stephan replies, smirking. And for a moment, the counselor and Stephan just stand there eye groping each other. The counselor was fairly tall, around 6’0, with waist length, dark red, wavy hair, and violet eyes. They all enter the counselor’s office, Stephan still looking him over, as they all sit in a happy little circle. The counselor looks around, beaming, and then asks the dreaded question, “Now, why are we all here?”
A cacophony of voices was heard blurting out various reasons for being there. Maddie can then be heard yelling out, “CHANGE POSITIONS!” As everyone shuffles their seats, Stephan chooses to sit in the therapist’s lap, as the therapist chooses not to mind and instead decides to play with his pretty, curly blonde hair. Haley suddenly cries out, “He’s trying to steal my Birdyman!” as she clings to Katan’s arm, nuzzling it lovingly as he tries to shake her off. Rosiel then yells “I made him!” As they then repeat the argument they had before, using the exact same words, Katan then tries to sneak out the door as Maddie pulls him back quickly. (‘Cause she’s a ninja!) The counselor continues to write notes around Stephan, as his eyes move shiftily about. “Ok, now, settle down.“
The counselor says, overly cheerful. “Now we’ll go around the circle, and everyone can tell what their worst personality trait is. Alright Ira, you start.” “Well, I put up with you people, and I’m related to him.” Ira says, pointing to Stephan as he pouts. The it was Maddie’s turn. “Well, I’m very hypocritical, and no one can be so but me, I’m strange, ominous, and charmingly cynical, overly sarcastic, a jaded bitch who knows everything, and that’s about it. And I‘m related to her.” She points to Haley, who grins stupidly. Erin then speaks up, “I’m extremely sarcastic, I tend to have a sick mind, and I either over think or under think everything, and yeah. I also have to have things explained very clearly for me to understand.” Haley suddenly shouts out, waving her hands around and bouncing in her seat. “HiI’mHaleyandIrapehotanimeguyswithstickshi!” “Idiotic and delusional.” Maddie says helpfully. “Ah, thank you.” the counselor replies. “I’m overly dependant, too loyal and trusting.” Katan says. “and your too sexy for your shirt.” “No Haley, we’re not breaking out into song” Maddie says warningly. Haley sits back in her chair disappointedly. “…and I haven’t left yet.” Katan finished irritably. Rosiel says bluntly, “ There’s nothing wrong with me.” As he flips his hair, somehow managing to entangle his hand in his disgusting mane, ew. Maddie interrupts, “Allow me to define” as she pulls out a list. “hypocritical , vain, narcissistic, a pedophile, incestuous, delusional, a nymphomaniac, bipolar, schizophrenic, and looks too much like a woman, i.e. gender confusion.” Erin stands up and pulls out a key blade and walks towards Rosiel, “By the way…quit looking like a fucking chick!” as she bashes him over the head with it and resumes to her sitting place. “You’ve been planning this for a while, haven’t you?” Maddie says, as Erin nods cheerfully.
“Hmmmm….” Stephan mumbles, stroking his imaginary beard, as a maniacal grin spreads across his face. “Well, I do….this!” He then grabs the therapist and brings him to a back room, and strange noises can be heard soon after. “Wow, Ira, you’re related to that guy? You’re totally A-sexual” Katan says, slightly surprised. “I don’t know, I don’t understand it either, nor do I try to.” He replies, rolling his eyes. Then an awkward silence occurs, well it would have been a silence if there wasn’t loud thumping and groaning noises from the other room. Finally, the counselor (Who shall never be named, for we are too lazy to give him one) and Stephan enters the room again, looking disheveled and slightly sweaty.
All of a sudden, the counselor beams cheerfully and says, “Now Katan, I’ll need you in the back room as well.” “No.” Rosiel and Katan say simultaneously. Maddie shouts, “Maneuver A!” As Haley points, “Oh look, a shiny mirror over there!” Rosiel then prances away to look at it and Maddie shoves Katan into the counselor, as Erin sets up the cameras in the back room. She then skitters out like a ninjah, as Katan’s objections are heard, “Hey wait! No, stop, don’t put your hand there! Stop it!” Rosiel says, “Hey, there’s no mirror here!” Shouts are then heard from the other room. “Stop! Don’t put that there!” “No, that’s my Katan!” Rosiel cries, and breaks down the door, to see the lewd position.
Katan is nude, along with the counselor, poor Katan’s legs held in the air against his will, the counselor, settled between them comfortably, pinning Katan successfully. Katan’s pale, slender fame sweating from the unwanted proximity and pain of the counselors penetration, his soft, pink lips trembling in fear, as a pathetic groan of “no…” is emitted from them, as perfect hands with long feminine nails scrape at the carpet. Erin then walks in there, takes the camera and re-watches it, as she cries out, “Yes!” While Haley squeals and bounces around cheerfully, as Maddie stands there smirking, “Oh, I’m good.” (A/N Maddie wrote that little moment, she’s oh so proud.) Rosiel’s head is seen turning red, and then blowing up. But, somehow, he manages to attempt to beat up the counselor, despite the fact that he’s currently headless. (Nobody wants to see his face, anyway)
Meanwhile, Katan is curled up in a fetal position in the corner, mumbling while rocking back and forth, “Don’t touch me, don’t touch me…” (Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Blame the juicy goodness.) “Aww, poor Birdyman! Heh heh heh…” Haley coos evilly, holding her arms out to hug the sotamized, sexy cherub, who freaks out more and covers his hands with his face-I mean, covers his face with his hands. (A/N Sorry, Maddie’s a bit lysdexic) Anyway, Maddie then tells Ira to give Katan his clothes. “Why do I have to do it?” “’Cause you’re the only one who doesn’t molest him!” “Yeah, but still….fine, whatever.” As Ira hands Katan his clothes, Katan clutches them to himself and in a whiny, shaky voice, sobs, “Don’t look at me! Don’t look at mee!” “Ok, the sooner we get out of the room so he can get his clothes on, the sooner we can leave. And I’m still traumatized by the little “family reunion.” Ira says, seemingly acting motherly as he pushes everyone out of the room.
“….Whoa, where’d Erin, Stephan, and Counselor go?” Maddie suddenly brings up, as they all look around. She then shrugs. “Oh well. Lets have a future flashback, just for kicks.” Everyone nods in simple agreement, except for Katan and Rosiel, because Katan is still too traumatized to do anything and Rosiel still does not have a head. They are suddenly all on the couch, and Rosiel somehow has his head back, even though we don’t want it back. And Katan in still in fetal position at the side of the couch. Ira hands him a tissue and pats him on the head, as the future flashback starts up.
Beginning of flashback mainly happening to make fun of Rosiel
The flashback starts back (in the future?) when Rosiel comes in the room to visit Katan’s coffin, and little Teiaiel is sitting on top of it. (A/N This occurs in book #5.) Rosiel stares at her long and hard, as if trying to understand something. He then says, “…What….are you?” Teiaiel curtly responds, “What the fuck do I look like, dumb ass? I’m a little girl! Oh I’m sorry, you’re too gender confused to know that!” Seemingly oblivious to her obvious insult, Rosiel then asks, “How did you get in here?” To which Teiaiel rolls her eyes in exasperation and says, “Ok, think. Really hard, back 5 minutes ago, when you sent little children in here for Katan to eat. Now, make the correlation between you wanting children in here, and me being a little girl. How the hell do you think I got here?” Rosiel stares dumbfounded at her. “Wait, give me 5 minutes…”
5 minutes later, “Nah, I’m at a blank. Explain.” “Oh god, no wonder this place is so fucked up…Ok! Jackass! He was supposed to eat me! But I’m too cute to be eaten!” “…I’m cuter than you.” He replies haughtily. “….” “…..” (A/N ‘Cause they actually said dot dot dot) She then stands up in a dramatic pose, and points a finger to him. “CRICKETS ATTACK!” (I love these crickets!) Millions of crickets appear, some giving him the finger before they swarm on him and eat him alive. “AAAAAHHHH! CRICKETS!” He screams, as he throws his hands around trying to get rid of them, but yeah. Gets eaten. A little thought bubble appears over the coffin in which Katan lies. “…Wow, I wish I could control an army of drag queen eating crickets…keep that in mind.”
End of future flashback
“…..Wait, I still don’t get it, how’d she get in there?” Rosiel inquires, as soon as the flashback ends. “And why must I always get attacked by crickets?” “Because, everyone knows crickets are a very intelligent species of insects, and they all hate stupid incestuous drag queens!” Maddie retorts. Katan briefly stops his silent trauma to say, “Well duh, everyone knows that.” “Yeah, even I know that!” Haley pipes up excitedly. Ira is holding a cricket in his palm and says, “Isn’t that right, little cricket?” The cricket flicks Rosiel off again and nods, smiling. Rosiel then tries to counter by sticking his pinky finger up, his attempt at giving the cricket the finger. “Oh, drop it, lets just get out of here, before Counselor comes back” Katan flinches at the word “Counselor” Maddie grins wickedly and says it repeatedly, practically putting him in a seizure at her quick succession of the word. After about 5 minutes of that, Katan finally stops. “Ok, I’m over it, lets just go!” Maddie opens the door an allows everyone out except Rosiel, because when he comes she closes the door on his head.
Rosiel lays on the floor and looks up slightly, dazed. “…Who am I?” Haley looks back and forth shiftily, before shouting, “FRENCH PIRATE!” “Aw, fuck me…” Katan groans. “YAYYYY!” Rosiel screams, suddenly acquiring the French pirate attire, which looks something like this: (just go to my profile to see the pic) He then jumps on Katan, taking his suggestion a little more literally “Not again!” Katan cries out, struggling to get away. “Yay!” Haley squeals, taping it once again. Maddie leans back in a chair, with a thoughtful, yet enjoying look. “Ok, I’ve had enough of this, I’m going to drown myself in drunk blood and try to forget this night happened.” Ira says, fed up. “Wait a minute! Help!” Katan pleads to him, to which he responds, “You’re on your own this time, man, I’m out of here.” When that little scene is over, Haley having caught it all, Maddie suddenly grabs a hold of Haley and Velcro’s her to a tree. “Wait! Don’t leave me here! Why must I always get stuck to things? HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
So yeah, that was a pretty long chapter! But I suppose we haven’t written for a while, so we needed to. Yes, it was fun with all the bits of lime and implied sex/rape. We had fun with that indeed. And yeah, KMFDM rocks, wheeeeee! And so does Fried shrimp! Oh, and if you would like ro be part of the unofficial Katan fan club, and receive a French pirate club certificate, you can see my e-mail adress on my profile, I'll have it listed for people who are not members.
Maddie then pulls out a book called “Dialogs with the Devil” and Katan asked what its about. Maddie goes into an explanation about how (A/N disregard anything about “Angel Sanctuary” ) its about an on going argument with Lucifer and Michael through letters. Lucifer doesn’t hate god, and is sad that man it unworthy of gods love, and that they taint their ‘father’. Michael had the opposite end if the argument, saying that god is right, and that Lucifer should give man a chance, and so on. After that, Katan and Maddie go into a heated conversation about philosophy and the whole subject on the book and who is right . Haley and Rosiel are seen with their heads cocked to the sides, drool pooling at the ends of their mouths.
(This is our friend Erin’s ideas mixed with ours, we’re exchanging ideas live via phone!)
All of a sudden, lightning crashes, a wolf can be heard howling in the distance, as rain begins to pound outside. The doorknob begins rattling ominously, before the door swings back, clattering against the wall, and then bouncing back and hitting the person who is entering in the face. Erin stumbles through the door, on her hands and knees, muttering, “There goes my dramatic entrance.” Maddie nonchalantly turns a page, and can be heard mumbling, “That must be Erin and Stephan”. “So Maddie, it appears that you are once again reading literature to baffle the minds of the intellectually impaired.” Maddie then replies, “And once again you appear to be ruining your dramatic entrances.” Erin then kicks the door, and grumbles “It was the door’s damn fault” She stubs her toe against the door , as Stephan saunters into the room, shock collar around his neck. He then spots Ira and cries out, “What the fuck are you doing here?” And then Ira, being his smartass self, says “Hm, counselor office. Probably the same thing you’re doing in here.” Stephan then replies in shock, “You tried to rape Axle from Kingdom Hearts as well?” Ira replies, “No, I just get deeply, mentally disturbed from following the group of rapists around for the lack of something interesting to do.” “Ah”
Rosiel looks back and forth between the two of them, and says, “Whoa, Ira do you have a mirror in front of you? I should so learn to do that.” “Who’s the imbecile?” Stephan inquires idly to Ira. “I don’t know, I rarely acknowledge his existence anyways.” Stephan’s eyes flicker to the other room’s occupants. “Anyone care to enlighten me?” “He’s a stupid monkey head who’s trying to steal Birdyman!” Haley cries out childishly, pouting towards Rosiel. “I made him” Rosiel replied irritably. “Nuh-uh.” “Yeah” “Well…..your face!” “What about it?” “Your face is stupid and ugly, and smelly!” “Nuh-uh!” They then start having a sissy slap fight. Stephan looks over to Ira. “So this is what you’re life has been like, dear brother?” “Yeah, basically, aside from having to take all the blame when Maddie breaks something.” Erin inquires, “Does that include breaking Katan’s ass?” “No, I do that myself.” Maddie says smugly.
As Erin starts to say something because she’s feels ignored, the counselor walks out, and he is very sexy. Stephan begins drooling profusely, as Ira pushes his jaw back up. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you?” “Non, I have not.” Stephan replies, smirking. And for a moment, the counselor and Stephan just stand there eye groping each other. The counselor was fairly tall, around 6’0, with waist length, dark red, wavy hair, and violet eyes. They all enter the counselor’s office, Stephan still looking him over, as they all sit in a happy little circle. The counselor looks around, beaming, and then asks the dreaded question, “Now, why are we all here?”
A cacophony of voices was heard blurting out various reasons for being there. Maddie can then be heard yelling out, “CHANGE POSITIONS!” As everyone shuffles their seats, Stephan chooses to sit in the therapist’s lap, as the therapist chooses not to mind and instead decides to play with his pretty, curly blonde hair. Haley suddenly cries out, “He’s trying to steal my Birdyman!” as she clings to Katan’s arm, nuzzling it lovingly as he tries to shake her off. Rosiel then yells “I made him!” As they then repeat the argument they had before, using the exact same words, Katan then tries to sneak out the door as Maddie pulls him back quickly. (‘Cause she’s a ninja!) The counselor continues to write notes around Stephan, as his eyes move shiftily about. “Ok, now, settle down.“
The counselor says, overly cheerful. “Now we’ll go around the circle, and everyone can tell what their worst personality trait is. Alright Ira, you start.” “Well, I put up with you people, and I’m related to him.” Ira says, pointing to Stephan as he pouts. The it was Maddie’s turn. “Well, I’m very hypocritical, and no one can be so but me, I’m strange, ominous, and charmingly cynical, overly sarcastic, a jaded bitch who knows everything, and that’s about it. And I‘m related to her.” She points to Haley, who grins stupidly. Erin then speaks up, “I’m extremely sarcastic, I tend to have a sick mind, and I either over think or under think everything, and yeah. I also have to have things explained very clearly for me to understand.” Haley suddenly shouts out, waving her hands around and bouncing in her seat. “HiI’mHaleyandIrapehotanimeguyswithstickshi!” “Idiotic and delusional.” Maddie says helpfully. “Ah, thank you.” the counselor replies. “I’m overly dependant, too loyal and trusting.” Katan says. “and your too sexy for your shirt.” “No Haley, we’re not breaking out into song” Maddie says warningly. Haley sits back in her chair disappointedly. “…and I haven’t left yet.” Katan finished irritably. Rosiel says bluntly, “ There’s nothing wrong with me.” As he flips his hair, somehow managing to entangle his hand in his disgusting mane, ew. Maddie interrupts, “Allow me to define” as she pulls out a list. “hypocritical , vain, narcissistic, a pedophile, incestuous, delusional, a nymphomaniac, bipolar, schizophrenic, and looks too much like a woman, i.e. gender confusion.” Erin stands up and pulls out a key blade and walks towards Rosiel, “By the way…quit looking like a fucking chick!” as she bashes him over the head with it and resumes to her sitting place. “You’ve been planning this for a while, haven’t you?” Maddie says, as Erin nods cheerfully.
“Hmmmm….” Stephan mumbles, stroking his imaginary beard, as a maniacal grin spreads across his face. “Well, I do….this!” He then grabs the therapist and brings him to a back room, and strange noises can be heard soon after. “Wow, Ira, you’re related to that guy? You’re totally A-sexual” Katan says, slightly surprised. “I don’t know, I don’t understand it either, nor do I try to.” He replies, rolling his eyes. Then an awkward silence occurs, well it would have been a silence if there wasn’t loud thumping and groaning noises from the other room. Finally, the counselor (Who shall never be named, for we are too lazy to give him one) and Stephan enters the room again, looking disheveled and slightly sweaty.
All of a sudden, the counselor beams cheerfully and says, “Now Katan, I’ll need you in the back room as well.” “No.” Rosiel and Katan say simultaneously. Maddie shouts, “Maneuver A!” As Haley points, “Oh look, a shiny mirror over there!” Rosiel then prances away to look at it and Maddie shoves Katan into the counselor, as Erin sets up the cameras in the back room. She then skitters out like a ninjah, as Katan’s objections are heard, “Hey wait! No, stop, don’t put your hand there! Stop it!” Rosiel says, “Hey, there’s no mirror here!” Shouts are then heard from the other room. “Stop! Don’t put that there!” “No, that’s my Katan!” Rosiel cries, and breaks down the door, to see the lewd position.
Katan is nude, along with the counselor, poor Katan’s legs held in the air against his will, the counselor, settled between them comfortably, pinning Katan successfully. Katan’s pale, slender fame sweating from the unwanted proximity and pain of the counselors penetration, his soft, pink lips trembling in fear, as a pathetic groan of “no…” is emitted from them, as perfect hands with long feminine nails scrape at the carpet. Erin then walks in there, takes the camera and re-watches it, as she cries out, “Yes!” While Haley squeals and bounces around cheerfully, as Maddie stands there smirking, “Oh, I’m good.” (A/N Maddie wrote that little moment, she’s oh so proud.) Rosiel’s head is seen turning red, and then blowing up. But, somehow, he manages to attempt to beat up the counselor, despite the fact that he’s currently headless. (Nobody wants to see his face, anyway)
Meanwhile, Katan is curled up in a fetal position in the corner, mumbling while rocking back and forth, “Don’t touch me, don’t touch me…” (Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Blame the juicy goodness.) “Aww, poor Birdyman! Heh heh heh…” Haley coos evilly, holding her arms out to hug the sotamized, sexy cherub, who freaks out more and covers his hands with his face-I mean, covers his face with his hands. (A/N Sorry, Maddie’s a bit lysdexic) Anyway, Maddie then tells Ira to give Katan his clothes. “Why do I have to do it?” “’Cause you’re the only one who doesn’t molest him!” “Yeah, but still….fine, whatever.” As Ira hands Katan his clothes, Katan clutches them to himself and in a whiny, shaky voice, sobs, “Don’t look at me! Don’t look at mee!” “Ok, the sooner we get out of the room so he can get his clothes on, the sooner we can leave. And I’m still traumatized by the little “family reunion.” Ira says, seemingly acting motherly as he pushes everyone out of the room.
“….Whoa, where’d Erin, Stephan, and Counselor go?” Maddie suddenly brings up, as they all look around. She then shrugs. “Oh well. Lets have a future flashback, just for kicks.” Everyone nods in simple agreement, except for Katan and Rosiel, because Katan is still too traumatized to do anything and Rosiel still does not have a head. They are suddenly all on the couch, and Rosiel somehow has his head back, even though we don’t want it back. And Katan in still in fetal position at the side of the couch. Ira hands him a tissue and pats him on the head, as the future flashback starts up.
Beginning of flashback mainly happening to make fun of Rosiel
The flashback starts back (in the future?) when Rosiel comes in the room to visit Katan’s coffin, and little Teiaiel is sitting on top of it. (A/N This occurs in book #5.) Rosiel stares at her long and hard, as if trying to understand something. He then says, “…What….are you?” Teiaiel curtly responds, “What the fuck do I look like, dumb ass? I’m a little girl! Oh I’m sorry, you’re too gender confused to know that!” Seemingly oblivious to her obvious insult, Rosiel then asks, “How did you get in here?” To which Teiaiel rolls her eyes in exasperation and says, “Ok, think. Really hard, back 5 minutes ago, when you sent little children in here for Katan to eat. Now, make the correlation between you wanting children in here, and me being a little girl. How the hell do you think I got here?” Rosiel stares dumbfounded at her. “Wait, give me 5 minutes…”
5 minutes later, “Nah, I’m at a blank. Explain.” “Oh god, no wonder this place is so fucked up…Ok! Jackass! He was supposed to eat me! But I’m too cute to be eaten!” “…I’m cuter than you.” He replies haughtily. “….” “…..” (A/N ‘Cause they actually said dot dot dot) She then stands up in a dramatic pose, and points a finger to him. “CRICKETS ATTACK!” (I love these crickets!) Millions of crickets appear, some giving him the finger before they swarm on him and eat him alive. “AAAAAHHHH! CRICKETS!” He screams, as he throws his hands around trying to get rid of them, but yeah. Gets eaten. A little thought bubble appears over the coffin in which Katan lies. “…Wow, I wish I could control an army of drag queen eating crickets…keep that in mind.”
End of future flashback
“…..Wait, I still don’t get it, how’d she get in there?” Rosiel inquires, as soon as the flashback ends. “And why must I always get attacked by crickets?” “Because, everyone knows crickets are a very intelligent species of insects, and they all hate stupid incestuous drag queens!” Maddie retorts. Katan briefly stops his silent trauma to say, “Well duh, everyone knows that.” “Yeah, even I know that!” Haley pipes up excitedly. Ira is holding a cricket in his palm and says, “Isn’t that right, little cricket?” The cricket flicks Rosiel off again and nods, smiling. Rosiel then tries to counter by sticking his pinky finger up, his attempt at giving the cricket the finger. “Oh, drop it, lets just get out of here, before Counselor comes back” Katan flinches at the word “Counselor” Maddie grins wickedly and says it repeatedly, practically putting him in a seizure at her quick succession of the word. After about 5 minutes of that, Katan finally stops. “Ok, I’m over it, lets just go!” Maddie opens the door an allows everyone out except Rosiel, because when he comes she closes the door on his head.
Rosiel lays on the floor and looks up slightly, dazed. “…Who am I?” Haley looks back and forth shiftily, before shouting, “FRENCH PIRATE!” “Aw, fuck me…” Katan groans. “YAYYYY!” Rosiel screams, suddenly acquiring the French pirate attire, which looks something like this: (just go to my profile to see the pic) He then jumps on Katan, taking his suggestion a little more literally “Not again!” Katan cries out, struggling to get away. “Yay!” Haley squeals, taping it once again. Maddie leans back in a chair, with a thoughtful, yet enjoying look. “Ok, I’ve had enough of this, I’m going to drown myself in drunk blood and try to forget this night happened.” Ira says, fed up. “Wait a minute! Help!” Katan pleads to him, to which he responds, “You’re on your own this time, man, I’m out of here.” When that little scene is over, Haley having caught it all, Maddie suddenly grabs a hold of Haley and Velcro’s her to a tree. “Wait! Don’t leave me here! Why must I always get stuck to things? HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
So yeah, that was a pretty long chapter! But I suppose we haven’t written for a while, so we needed to. Yes, it was fun with all the bits of lime and implied sex/rape. We had fun with that indeed. And yeah, KMFDM rocks, wheeeeee! And so does Fried shrimp! Oh, and if you would like ro be part of the unofficial Katan fan club, and receive a French pirate club certificate, you can see my e-mail adress on my profile, I'll have it listed for people who are not members.