A Twisted Triangle

Author's Note: I'm alive! I've gotten a lot of emails asking about the lack of updates on this story. *hangs head in shame* So sorry, people... Things here were getting very hectic and I moved, so... I haven't really had the time to write anything new. But! ^^ I've recently been inspired to continue the story, so... yeah!

This chapter is pretty short, but I have another half-finished, so be patient with me! I promise some real development in the story after this.

Rate and review, if you please. And if you review, be sure to leave your email address so I can send out a little newsletter to let you know of more updates. :D

~*~

The first day proved to be the most excruciating. The morning Seimei had left, Soubi found his way to the park just down the street. There, he found a playground with two different sets of swings, each housing three sets of chains that supported three cheaply made seats of plastic and rubber. Soubi took the one on the edge and waited there for something to change. Something. Anything... Maybe he would fall asleep here, and then wake to find it had all been nothing more than a bad dream.

To his misfortune, Soubi had no such luck.

Three cigarettes later and the day had officially begun. The early morning sun greeted Soubi’s slightly chilled body with rays of inviting warmth. Soubi, however, felt no real comfort. Perhaps it was selfish of him to feel so morbidly depressed over the loss of something he never truly had. But could he really help that? Seimei was his world, and when one’s world is taken away, one finds one’s self rather… at a loss.

However, he reminded himself, there was nothing he could have possibly done to change the outcome of the situation. If Seimei was gone, then he was gone. That was that. It had taken a few painful hours and many cigarettes, but Soubi had at last come to terms with the concept.

Stage 1: Acceptance - Check

Stage 2: Moving on - (blank)

However, regardless of the sudden void in his life, Soubi felt oddly… freed? Yes, that was it… He was free. Soubi was free from Seimei and all of his split-second commands, ridiculous expectations and outlandish standards; free from giving over his body and mind at the drop of a hat. Soubi was free from it all.

However… He was also free from purpose.

That was the thought to bring him down again.

Soubi had no purpose anymore. No reason to breathe. No Seimei to please…

It was while he took a drag from a freshly lit cigarette that something fresh and new clicked into place.

Soubi did have a purpose. Soubi had all but forgotten that, with Seimei out of the picture, Soubi was now in unofficial charge of the little brother¾Soubi had been entrusted with Ritsuka’s well-being. With Seimei gone, Soubi could focus on Ritsuka without counting it as selfish indulgence. Seimei had commanded Soubi to love the little neko.

To love him…

The thought of actually loving the fifteen-year-old had yet to cross Soubi’s foggy mind. Did Seimei really expect Soubi to just love someone upon verbal command? Granted, Seimei probably only meant to love him as a brother would, but… it wasn’t Soubi’s fault that Seimei had worded it the wrong way.

Wait. What was he thinking? Already thinking about love, of all things, not even a day after the supposed love of his life vanishes into the night? (Metaphorically speaking, of course, seeing as how Seimei left in the early morning, but it was the principle of the thing.) Either way, love would have to wait. However, what Soubi could do, what he wanted to do, what he had been ordered to do, was take care of the young Aoyagi.

It gave Soubi a purpose again…

Through an exhale of cancerous smoke, Soubi caught sight of the sun again. School would be starting up soon. He could already see, from the corner of his eye, students from this residential area gathering on the street corner to wait for the bus. Most of them were grade-schoolers, though; high school teenagers liked to walk or drive themselves to school. It was the cool thing to do nowadays¾only the lame kids took the bus or had their parents drive them, or so went the unwritten law. It made Soubi smirk, albeit faintly, to think of such standards.

Children never ceased to fascinate him…

“Soubi?”

A strikingly familiar voice snapped Soubi from his reverie and he glanced over. To Soubi’s right stood a bright-eyed Ritsuka—a morning person, of course—with his backpack slung over his shoulder and his weight balanced on one foot, rather than two. Ritsuka was indeed a sight for sore eyes. Soubi offered him a warm smile in greeting.

“Good morning, Ritsuka,” said the blond as he tapped a few ashes from his cigarette.

“Morning,” Ritsuka murmured, blinking a bit in confusion. “Uh… Soubi…”

“Yes?”

“Why are you out here at this hour?”

Soubi almost choked on an inward breath of cigarette smoke. Refraining from stuttering, Soubi collected himself and rolled his shoulders back a little, hoping to ease the morning’s tension. “Just a morning stroll,” he replied coolly.

Ritsuka didn’t seem convinced, but Soubi made no attempt to reiterate.

“Shouldn’t you be getting to school?” Soubi asked with nonchalance, putting out his cigarette in the grainy, dewy sand at his feet.

Ritsuka sighed some, a little exasperated with Soubi‘s typical standoffish behavior. “Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled, kicking at the sand.

One black ear lay flat against Ritsuka’s head, the other perked and alert, giving the adolescent an almost clueless appearance; one Soubi found very adorable on the boy. It reminded him that, no matter how much Ritsuka had matured over the years, Ritsuka was still just an innocent little kitten. Soubi didn’t think Ritsuka would ever grow out of that. At least not to Soubi. Soubi would always see him as innocent… harmless…

Just an adorable little kitten.

Soubi chuckled a little. “It can’t be that bad.”

“It’s just boring,” Ritsuka complained. “I already know all of that stuff. And I still get crappy grades…”

Soubi cocked his eyebrow. “Maybe I could help you with that,” he said. “I used to have the same problem in high school. I knew the answers, but putting them down on paper was a bit more difficult.”

Ritsuka’s ears perked at that. “Really?”

Soubi nodded, his silky blond hair cascading over one slim shoulder.

“Well, then…” Ritsuka paused mid-sentence, nibbling on his lip in such a way that made Soubi’s heart flutter. Did Ritsuka have any idea how cute he was when he wasn’t even trying? Probably not.

“How about you pick me up after school? We can go to your house and you can help me with an English paper.” Ritsuka scrunched his nose; he hated English. It was such a complicated language… So many words that sounded alike and meant so many different things…

Soubi brightened up by degrees and he nodded without hesitation. Ah, finally an excuse to spend time with the teenager! Things were looking up already. “Sure. What time do you get out?”

“Getting out” of school really made it sound like a prison break.

“Three-thirty,” replied a now eager Ritsuka, his feline tail almost wagging¾yet another little idiosyncrasy of Ritsuka’s that Soubi adored.

“I’ll be waiting. Now... Get going before you’re late; I’ll see you this afternoon.”

As chipper as he ever was, Ritsuka smiled, nodded and pushed up from the swing to stand on his own two feet. The chains once supporting his weight clattered and clinked in protest of his absence.

“Okay!” Ritsuka chirped. The neko waved a little before he trotted off down the pathway to the street, where he took a left turn and headed off for school. Soubi, vigilant and wary, waited until he was out of sight to let his guard down again.

Poor Ritsuka; he was so blissfully unaware of the situation at hand, very much in the dark about his beloved elder brother’s vow never to return for reasons, Soubi feared, they would never know. Maybe Ritsuka wouldn’t realize it today, or even tomorrow or the next day, but certainly he would notice that Seimei was no longer there. When that time came, Soubi had no doubt in his mind that Ritsuka would be devastated beyond belief. In speculation, Soubi doubted that he himself would be more crushed in the long run by Seimei’s sudden departure. It was then that Soubi felt something very atypical of himself; something he had not ever felt in regard to Seimei.

Soubi was angry with Seimei.

No, that wasn’t the word. Being angry didn’t do this feeling justice. Soubi was enraged; infuriated that Seimei could do this to his own little brother. How could he just pack up his entire life and move on without so much as a parting word to someone he supposedly cared so deeply for? How could he just… leave everyone behind with what he claimed to be good intentions when there seemed to be nothing but ice?

Maybe Seimei’s departure wasn’t for Ritsuka’s good at all; maybe it was for Seimei’s own. Maybe all of that “good intentions” business was a cover-up for Seimei’s utter irritation with his situation. Maybe… Seimei just wanted out…

But why?

Soubi had no explanation for any of it. This entire bout of fury was more than likely a nonsensical vent for his grief and confusion. Whatever the cause, as he sat there with his fingers wrapped around the chains holding his swing in place, blue eyes downcast and inwardly sullen, he knew this anger wouldn’t go away very easily. He would resent Seimei for leaving this gap in Ritsuka’s life.

He would resent Seimei for leaving this gap in his own life.

Even through the resentment, would he ever be able to let go? Move on? Soubi doubted this very highly.

Through his sorrow and frustration, Soubi knew he had to be getting to the college. His students would be gathering soon and if they were missing a teacher without so much as a warning, there would be Hell to pay, courtesy of the Dean. In that light¾with great reluctance¾Soubi left the park and set out for the college.

Soubi prayed to leave his troubles behind him on the swing, just for today, but the passive and more rational portion of his mind knew that that would not be the case.