Blood & Chocolate

Chapter 8: Keep Breathing

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
Only Hope – Switchfoot


Several Weeks Later...

“No, that's fine, Mrs. Utsumi. I'll come by tomorrow and take a look at it. Sure, sure. Take care.” Click. Gojyo tapped the End button on the cordless phone and set it down on the table as he made a quick note in his pocket calendar. Mrs. Utsumi, 11:30 am, Loose board in counter. He tapped the ash off of his cigarette before bringing it up to his lips for a drag, his ruby eyes scanning the dates in the small book. It had been nearly a year since Sanzo had arrived on his doorstep, soaked to the bone and malnourished, and damn near two months since he had disappeared into the night. He kept hearing Hakkai's calm voice in his ear.

“He'll come around. He always does.”

Gojyo stubbed the cigarette into the ashtray and stood, shoving the calendar into his back pocket. He cleaned up the detritus of his forgotten meal and turned off the coffee maker, making a mental note to clean the pot and filter in the morning. He hung the phone on its receptacle as he crossed to the hallway on the way to his bedroom, switching off the light as he passed. He shucked his pants off and threw them at a chair and flopped onto his bed, pulling his hands behind his head.

“Gods, if only you were here, Goku,” he said to the ceiling. “Maybe none of this would have happened.” He rolled over, closed his eyes, and willed his heart to stop aching deep inside his chest.


------


Gojyo arrived at the bookshop ten minutes early, the bell above the door tinkling softly. He sauntered up to the counter and leaned over, trying to peer down towards the shadowed back room. A quick movement caught his eye, and he almost didn't see a golden tufted ponytail disappear behind one of the aisles. He shook his head and continued to wait, glancing at the titles lining the shelf behind the counter. He heard footsteps behind him and turned, his heart sinking into his stomach.

“S-Sanzo?” he stuttered. The blond crossed his arms and pushed his rimless glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“I'll show you the loose board,” he replied calmly. He crossed behind the counter, motioning for the hanyou to follow. “Here,” he simply said as he fiddled with the loose board. He backed up to give Gojyo more than enough space to fix it. The redhead crouched and set to his work, not daring to look up.

“So, you working for Mrs. Utsumi now?

“Hn,” Sanzo grunted as he opened the till to count the monies contained within. “Gives me something to do.”

“Yeah,” Gojyo said absently. He gave a small shove against the board with the heel of his hand, then tried to wriggle it. When it clicked into place, he carefully pulled himself back up to stand properly. He dusted off his pants and walked back around to the front of the counter. “All done. Shouldn't give you anymore problems.” He started for the door. “See ya 'round, yeah?”

“What about-”

“Don't worry about it, Sanzo.” He left the shop briskly, Sanzo standing at the till with a few bills held in his hand.


------


Gojyo yawned as he opened the door to his small house and extracted the key from the lock. He rubbed his eyes as he closed it behind him and toed off his boots. As he picked them up to place them under the coat hooks, he noticed another pair of shoes, slightly smaller than his own, lined up neatly against the wall. He heard a slight motion and turned sharply to find Sanzo sitting at his table, turning a coffee mug in his hand. The book he had found weeks prior in the monk's room lay closed in front of him.

“How...?” the redhead trailed as the blond looked up and locked eyes with him.

“I still have a key,” Sanzo answered flatly. Gojyo hung his jacket on the hook and crossed to the table, pulling out a chair and sitting down. He felt a pull at his chest and couldn't help but take a deep breath.

“How long have you been waiting?” the hanyou asked quietly.

“A few hours,” the monk replied, looking back down at his cup. They sat in silence, Gojyo staring at the blond, and the blond not lifting his gaze. The redhead finally lifted a hand, about to reach for Sanzo's when the priest spoke again. “You found my book.”

“Yeah, you left it in your room,” Gojyo replied softly. “Listen, man-”

“Gomen Nasai,” Sanzo blurted softly, cutting off the redhead. He finally looked up and Gojyo could see the pain in his violet eyes. “I shouldn't have left like that. I don't... really know why I did.” Gojyo smiled.

“I never said that you had to stay, you know.” Sanzo nodded. Gojyo reached out and pulled the coffee mug out of the blond's hands gently as he stood from his seat, holding his hand out to the monk. Reluctantly, Sanzo took it and stood, the hanyou pulling him into a crushing embrace. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Gojyo. “I'm sorry, too,” he whispered in the bouzu's ear. “Can we just go back?”

Sanzo pulled away slightly and rested his forehead against Gojyo's. He closed his eyes and took a sharp breath before giving one small nod, causing the redhead to hold him closer. They stood, embracing one another in a relative calm before the monk pulled away, slipping his hand into the hanyou's and guiding them towards Gojyo's room.

Sanzo stopped at the bed and dropped Gojyo's hand, bowing his head as he began to unfasten the buttons of his own shirt. The redhead placed his hands on the blond's shoulders, leaning in to place soft kisses against the column of Sanzo's neck, thankful the monk still had his hair tied back. As the last button popped open, he eased the shirt off the priest's shoulders to fall to the floor.

Sanzo pulled away from the redhead's touch long enough to rid himself of his faded jeans, tossing them into a corner of the room and turned to watch the hanyou remove the last of his own clothing. He scooted onto the bed, holding a hand out to Gojyo.

“Come here,” he commanded softly. Gojyo complied, crawling up the beautifully pale body sprawled on his bed, his heart pounding in his chest so loud he was sure that Sanzo could hear it. He settled himself on top of the blond and dipped his head to finally capture the monk's lips in a searing kiss. The monk parted his lips, allowing their tongues to tangle together as he brought a hand up to thread his fingers in long crimson silk. Gojyo broke away and began to nip and lick his way down the priest's chest, but Sanzo quickly grasped his shoulder, causing him to look up. “No, Gojyo,” he simply said. The bouzu carefully spread his legs an inch wider under the redhead, a tentative longing in his eyes.

Gojyo hitched his breath, understanding perfectly what the blond was asking of him. He leaned across and opened the drawer of his nightstand, extracting a small tube of lubrication before sitting up between long porcelain legs sprinkled with light blond hair. Before, the whole of their intimacy had consisted of rubbing, stroking, milking, the fickle fumbling tongues and the after-taste of salty sweet cum in their mouths. Back in their traveling days, Gojyo had learned enough about the priest's past to not push the monk into anything really beyond that in their new-found relationship, so it spoke beyond words what he was asking of him now, in this single moment in time. Sanzo was giving all of himself to him.

He popped open the cap and dribbled a small pool of clear liquid into his palm before coating his fingers. He leaned over Sanzo, hooking a knee onto his elbow. Closing his mouth over the blond's lips to create a distraction, he rubbed a slick circle over the small pucker of the priest's entrance, slowly pushing his finger inside as he felt the body beneath him relax little by little. The monk gasped into the hanyou's mouth as he gently wriggled the digit, stretching him gently. Gojyo reached up with his freehand to brush blond fringe away from closed eyes and leaned up to place a kiss against a pale forehead as he added a second finger. He scissored and stretched as he felt muscles contract. As he brushed a soft bundle of nerve tissue, Sanzo cried out, arching his back off of the mattress.

“Shh, bouzu,” he whispered soothingly. “Relax for me.” The redhead watched as his lover willed his body to loosen up around him. When he felt that he was sufficiently prepared, he gently extracted his fingers, his weeping cock giving a slight twitch at the thought of that exquisite heat surrounding him. He grabbed the lube and slicked himself in anticipation.

Gojyo leaned over Sanzo once more and placed a tender kiss against panting lips. He closed his eyes and whispered against the blond's mouth, “I love you, bouzu,” as he gently pushed the head past the tight ring of muscle.

Sanzo moaned, the sound reverberating in the stillness of the small house. Gojyo fought against just pushing all the way to the hilt, pausing to allow the muscles to end their spasms to not hurt the beloved monk. When he was finally seated tightly inside of the priest, he opened his eyes. The blond hitched a breath, clenching around him gently once, and nodded.

Gojyo began to move in and out of the blond slowly, reaching between them with his slicked hand to wrap long fingers around Sanzo's engorged cock, pumping in time to his own quickening thrusts. There were no words spoken, only the sharp intakes of breath and the occasional grunt of satisfaction. The hanyou shifted slightly, and when he brushed just there, the priest let out a strangled cry, spilling cum over the redhead's hand. As Sanzo's orgasm ripped through his beautiful pale body, clamping tightly down on the redhead's painfully hard cock, he heard his name roll off of Gojyo's lips.

The hanyou came in hard jolting spurts, filling Sanzo with his seed. Panting hard, he collapsed against the blond, trying to will his heart to slow down. As he lay completely sated against the priest, he felt nimble fingers weave in his hair again and a pair of lips on the top of his head.

“Aishiteru,” Sanzo whispered. Gojyo smiled and gently eased himself out of the blond, lifting from the bed and padding to the bathroom. He returned with a damp cloth, cleaning his hand and flaccid cock, tossing the rag to his lover. Sanzo quickly swiped the cloth across himself before flinging the terry-cloth into the dirty clothes pile. Gojyo grabbed his pack of smokes and zippo from his discarded pants, lighting two cigarettes and handing one to the monk before settling himself down next to the priest.

“I waited for you, you know,” Gojyo said before pulling a drag off his stick. Sanzo quirked a small lazy smile.

“I know, baka.”


I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Far Away – Nickelback


Three days later...

It was mid-afternoon when Sanzo arrived at the bookshop for his evening shift. The bell tinkled softly as he entered, Mrs. Utsumi looking up from paperwork at the counter with a smile.

“Hello, Kouryuu,” she greeted him as she picked up a small white box from the back-bar. “This came for you,” she added as she held it out to the blond. Sanzo looked at the package questioningly.

“Where did it come from?” he asked as he took the box from her. He removed the lid to find, nestled in neat rows, nine tiny balls wrapped perfectly in gold foil.

“One of the monks from temple briought it this morning. He didn't say from whom, just that it had been left there with express instructions to deliver it to you,” she explained. “Wait, there's a note. Where did I put it?” She turned and began to rifle through the detritus on the counter. Sanzo unwrapped one of the balls, revealing a shell of very dark chocolate. He brought it to his mouth, biting down and allowing the smooth meltaway center to envelope his tongue with creamy velvet. “Here you go,” she exclaimed brightly as she handed her employee an ivory envelope.

He turned it over, a perfect lotus sealed in the wax at the seam. He curled a finger under the flap and removed the note. Scrawled distinctly in golden ink, it read, It's okay to laugh, or yell, or cry. Don't forget to live.

As a single tear fell from his eye, Sanzo smiled.