Both Hands

Disclaimer: The song \"Both Hands\" is not owned by me. It was written and performed by the incomparable Ani Difranco. If you\'ve never heard her, Go! Listen! The boys aren\'t mine.

~I am walking out in the rain
and I am listening to the long moan
of the dial tone again.
I am getting nowhere with you
and I can\'t let it go
and I can\'t get it through...~

\"Don\'t come back until you\'ve grown up Rowen,\" and the connection
was cut.

\"Sage?\" All that answered was the dial tone. He stared at the phone
for a moment before hanging it up.

Rowen walked away from the hotel, rain pouring down on him unheeded.
\"I need a drink,\" he thought to himself.

~The old woman behind pink curtains
and closed door on the first door
is listening through the airshaft
to see how long our swan song can last...~

Rowen stopped in front of the familiar building. Mrs. Jones, their nosy neighbor, peeked out from the curtains as he approached the building. She cast him a glare as if to say, \"Serves you right.\" She had seen him passed-out drunk on their doorstep one too many times. He ignored her and stared up at the second-floor window, glowing with golden light. \"Just like Sage,\" he thought to himself. This was the third night he had done this. He moved toward the entrance, hesitated, and turned around. He could not face rejection once again.

~Both hands, now use both hands.
Oh no, don\'t close your eyes.
I am writing graffiti on your body,
I am drawing the story of how hard we try...
How hard we try...~

\"Don\'t clyouryour eyes, koi,\" Sage commanded gently in Rowen\'s ear.
\"They\'re so beautiful, I want to see them when you come.\"

Sage\'s fingers and tongue danced over Rowen\'s body, tickling, teasing. His mouth paused over one pebble-hard nipple as his hands traced a swirling pattern over Rowen\'s torso.

\"Ahh...Sage...\"

Sage\'s mouth resumed its path south, swirling and dipping at Rowen\'s navel.

\"Sage, please...\"

His head moved further down, hands still tracingr Ror Rowen\'s torso.
Sage took Rowen into his mouth. \"Sage... oh gods... Sage!\" The wet heat of Sage\'s mouth was driving him mad. Sage slowly drew his head back, keeping only the tip of Rowen\'s member in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around and licked at the slit. He moved at a slow pace.

\"Sage... please?\" Rowen begged of the blond swordsman.

Sage looked up at Rowen\'s passion flushed face. His love was on the edge. He smirked before turning to the nightstand drawer for the lube...

~I am watching your chest rise and fall
like the tides of my life and the rest of it all.
Your bones have been my bed frame
and your flesh has been my pillow.
I\'ve been waiting for sleep to offer up the deep
with both hands...~

That first night together in their new apartment Rowen slept curled against Sage, his blue hair pillowed on the blonde\'s chest. He watched Sage\'s chest rising and falling with life. His steady heartbeat lulled Rowen into a deep sleep.

~Within each other\'s shadows we grew less and less tall
and eventually our theories couldn\'t explain it all.
I\'m recording our history on the bedroom wall
and when we leave the landlord will come paint over it all.~

\"Damn it Sage!\" Rowen\'s fist flew into the bedroom wall, leaving a gaping hole to add to the collection.

\"Rowen, if you\'d stop acting like a child and just listen to me...\"

\"I don\'t have any damn problem! I am perfectly in control! I\'m tired of you patronizing me. I am NOT a child!\"

\"If you would act like an adult I wouldn\'t have a reason to speak to you like a child, would I? You have yet to prove that you can take care of yourself,\" Sage\'s voice remained calm.

\"WHAT?!\"

\"I\'m tired of cleaning up after you and your drinking binges. This
has happened too many times. I\'m tired of dealing with it. If you won\'t fix your problems, I can\'t stay with you. I love you, but I can\'t fix you. Now leave,\" Sage picked up the suitcase and set it down in the hall. He shoved Rowen out the door and closed it in his face.

\"Sage? SAGE!\" He drove his fist into the wall, then left in search of a hotel.

~I\'m walking out in the rain and I
am listening to the long moan of the dial tone again
and I\'m getting nowhere with you
and I can\'t let it go
and I can\'t get through...~

Rowen threw himself onto the lumpy hotel mattress after shrng ong off his dripping jacket. He raised the bottle of whisky to his lips and paused before taking a shot. He stared at the bottle. \"Just like dad... I\'m acting just like dad,\" the thought crashed into his mind like a wrecking ball. Rowen rose from the bed and poured the liquor down the sink.

He picked up the phone and dialed the apartment.

\"Hello?\"

Rowen\'s voice was very soft, \"Sage...\"

\"I thought I told you...\" Sage\'s angry retort was cut short by a pained whisper. \"Sage, I\'m sorry. I am so sorry,\" his voice broke as the tears began to fall.

\"Rowen?\" concern tinted Sage\'s voice.

\"Sage, I love you. I can\'t lose you. I can\'t do to you what dad did to mom. That bastard drove her away... Now I\'m doing the same thing. I\'m... doing... Sage, help me...,\" heavy sobs shook Rowen\'s thin frame.

\"Where are you?\"

\"Red Roof, room one sixteen. Why?\"

\"Stay there,\" the connection was broken. Rowen stared at the phone listening to the dial tone before crumpling to the floor.

~Both hands, now use both hands.
Oh no, don\'t close your eyes.
I am writing graffiti on your body
I am writing the story of how hard we try...
How hard we try...
How hard we try...~

There was a sharp rap on the door. Rowen dragged his hand across his face before answering it. There stood Sage, rain dripping from his perfect hair.

\"Sage?\" he whispered.

\"Rowen...\" Sage opened his arms to the blue-haired archer. Rowen dragged him inside and collapsed into Sage\'s arms, tears falling anew.

\"Shh...\" Sage\'s hands traced soothing patterns over Rowen\'s back....

End

Notes: This was my first fic ever, written about 3 years ago. I hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is always appreciated.