Yohji likes women

YOHJI LIKES WOMEN

By: Sophia Moon

Yohji likes women. I mean it. He really does. He smiles when they enter the shop. And it isn’t a fake smile. He gives them his voice dripping with sex, the compliments about well shaped ankles. He gives them his anger and strength and courage when they are hurt. Nobody hurts his beloved women and lives to brag about it.

He does not sleep with them. Not since he sleeps with me. Maybe even before that, but that is really none of my business. Yes, I know it’s hard to believe that ‘I’m only interested in girls older than 18’ Yohji Kudou is bedding me, 17 year old Omi. And the strange thing about it is, that it all started so gradually. This something between us, this mixture of friendship, lust and yes love, as in ‘I love you and want to marry you if that would be possible and I know it isn’t possible and I still want it.’

Just smiles and touches and looking out for each other. Just a few words. And still, somewhere along the line we recognized the difference between friendship and something more. Or maybe not more, because even now, knowing his body and what his body can do with mine and needing it with the need of a starving man, I still cherish his friendship above all.

It’s all new enough to remember the first time I saw him naked. And I don’t mean: without cloths coming out of the shower in a hurry to start his shift before Aya really pisses off. There is a different kind of naked. I never saw another man in that kind of situation before. He was my first. I can’t judge how innocent I really was, I am a assassin after all, but in sexual matters my knowledge was purely theoretical.

No, that is not entirely the truth. I’ve seen them. Aya and Ken. Of course I’ve known for some time they’re lovers. Even I am not that innocent I like them together, simply because they make a lovely pair. Aya tries to smile and Ken tries to control his temper. Ugly orange sweaters… Need I say more? I guess love does that to a man.

I saw them. In Aya’s room. In fact their room. Ken on his knees: his head hidden in his hands, his legs wide, his ass high. Aya behind him. Fucking him. It was deeply wrong of me to stay there and look. Their act was primitive and sacred and not to be seen by a strangers eye.

Aya turned his head slightly. I started mumbling something about forgetting to knock. He didn’t even acknowledge me being there, though I’m absolutely sure he saw me. He simply turned away from me and claimed his mate by grapping his hips and driving into him with such force that I could almost feel Kens discomfort. And yet, my feet already outside, but my heart still with them, I could hear Ken utter his word of unconditional surrender. “Yours.”
A strong, gentle hand on my shoulder led me away. “Come, sweetheart. Let them be.”

There were still smiles and innocent touches between Yohji and me. But there was also something new. I wanted him in the way Ken wanted Aya. I didn’t have to tell him in so many words. He knew.

So the smiles became more knowingly. The touches less innocent. Yohji took his time to court me. He didn’t have to bring me little presents, take me to movies and the park. He could have me in any position within an hour after I saw Aya and Ken. He only slightly shifted his attention from mere friend to beloved.

It was at that time that I learned that being a lover didn’t start in the bedroom. Despite his reputation as a playboy, as one who has little use for something more than one night stands, he was almost too slow in taking the initiative. Of course I could have openly seduced him. I know that now, but at that time I just waited and smiled. I liked being the center of Yohji’s attention. I liked his kindness and the way he made me feel special. But I also wanted something that I didn’t know how to ask for. Or rather, I didn’t have the courage to ask for. Because that one question, as much as we were both ready for it, would change our relationship. And there would be no turning back. Words once uttered could never be taken back.

And still I said them. Well, sort of. We had kissed again. That we did a lot, kissing. Not as starting point to something else. No, kissing was kissing. letelete in itself. After that he would send me to my room. It was almost cruel, because he must have known how my body was preparing itself for something that simply wasn’t going to happen. But I imagined, alone in my bed, that my hand was his hand. And although I couldn’t pull it of, because of difference in size and my less than perfect imagination, during these moments I learned more about my own body than in all years since I started puberty.

“Time for bed, Omi,” he stated, his voice thick with lust, but still determined.

“Yes, time for bed,” I sighed. I tried to hide myself in his arms, so he wouldn’t find me and send me away. I didn’t want my own left hand, I wanted him. And although, despite of watching Aya and Ken, I didn’t really know what I wanted, I still craved for it. “Can I stay with you? Please? I will not bother you. Can I, Yohji?

He kissed my temple. “I’m sure you will not bother me, Omi-chan. But I’m not so sure about myself.”

“You have been doing all kinds of nice things to me for weeks now. We kiss and you hold me in your arms. And then you send me to bed,” I protested. “You don’t really me. me. That’s it. You just want to be nice, because you are a nice person and you like me. If you prefer a woman in your bed, why don’t you tell me so?”

Why did that come from? Alright, he never stopped flirting with any and all pretty young woman he laid eyes on. But he hadn’t date one since he gave me my first kiss. No, even before that. He never did or say anything in the privacy of his room that suggested he rather had female company. Stupid mistrust. He would talk it out of my head.

“In a way that would be easier. I know what is expected of me when I’m with a woman. You would know it if you had fallen in love with a little girlfriend.” Yohji stroked my hear with his big, gentle hands. I liked his hands on me. They were reassuring and unbelievable sexy.

“You never had sex with a man?” I couldn’t believe it. He laughed out loud. “Of course I have. More than once. But that’s what it was. Sex.” He shrugged, as if he expected me to never be able to understand him. And in a way he was right. Having sex with another man was something completely different from falling in love with another man. And I wasn’t even a man yet.

“Do you think you will have to stay with me till death do us part because you have sex with me?” Of course I blushed. Not so much because of the having sex words, but because of me saying till death do us part. “I am not totally ignorant, Yohji. I know a lot of men have sex with other men without any commitment. Or men with women.” My voice became almost too thin and childlike. “I know I will never be enough for you, but if you want you can fuck me.”
I just stayed in his arms, trembling and almost crying. I felt stupid and yet more determined than ever before in my life. I had offered him the one thing he was always hunting after: a warm, willing body. I knew he cared enough about me to not hurt me on purpose. I knew he had enough experience for the two of us. It had to be sufficient

He shook his head as in disbelieve. “What did you see? Aya and Ken. That night. What did you see?” But he didn’t wait for me to answer.
“That night wasn’t their first time, Omi, not by far. If you want what they have, you will have to wait.”

“Do you want what they have?” Why do I ask these questions if I’m too scared to hear an honest answer? Yohji isn’t a cruel person, but he’s also not the marrying type. I was aware of the fact the he hpendpend a lot of time with me without so much of hinting at a reward. But there were also his history, his playboy manners. He could have bedded almost any pretty woman for the price of a cheap meal or less. And yet he choose me, a skinny boy who looked way too young for his age. A boy he didn’t want to have sex with, because sex was just something he did, an almost meaningless way of having fun, of getting rid of excess stress of demonstrating his maleness. I saw it, almost understood it and wished he cared for me just a little less.
“Do you want what Aya and Ken have, Yohji?”

“It is the strangest thing for me to want, and yet I want it. Maybe after all those years all sexual encounters look the same. I mean, what can you do in bed that hasn’t already been done? Handcuffs? Whips? Doing it upside down, from behind, from every possible or impossible angle? Take someone’s virginity? Threesomes? Orgies? I have done it all and more.” He sounded tired, depressed almost.

Of course he wasn’t asking me those questions. I had his kisses and sweet touches. I had my left hand. There wasn’t much to be bored with for me yet

“The trouble is, you can experiment with kinky sex, but not with love.” He simply stated.

“If you are afraid that I will force you to be monogamous, or to give up women, don’t be. Because I won’t.” I said and I knew I sounded ridiculous. I couldn’t stop him from doing anything. Not from having sex with half of the city. fro from being with me and nobody else.
He had lived in a world quite different from mine and there was no way I could even begin to understand his fear. So I talked about monogamy and giving up women. And didn’t for the hell know what I was talking about.

“Love is a curse, Omittchi. Ask Aya about it. And you know what, we’d go back again and again on our knees because love is the only curse, the only blessing worth going back for.” His hand stroked my back, not like he would pet a child anymore. No slower, more deliberately, searching for places to make me sigh with anticipation. He half turned me on his lap in order to have some freedom of movement to open my trousers.

His hand on my erection, stroking in a almost lazy rhythm. The most simple of movements. His left hand, not mine. A bit rough, firm. A man’s hand. The most strange thing that ever happened to me. It was, without a doubt, what I needed. Within seconds I came.
Too soon, but how could I not? Even I could forgive myself for the lack of control I had over my body.
He smiled, brought his hand to his mouth and licked it clean.

“Yohji, that’s gross,” I yelled while he savored my taste. He just licked his fingers and grinned.

“You’re very tasty, actually. Young, clean, healthy. I have a hunch the rest of you tastes just as good. But first these cloths has to go.”
Don’t ask me why we turned our backs to each other while we undressed. We simply did. And I turned again. And looked. He was so beautiful The long, muscular, but not overly so, planes of his male body, his lightly toned skin: it was awe-inspiring. Of course I saw his cock. His erection was, in my almost childlike inexperience, quite intimidating. I had seen some pictures on the internet, but that were pictures. Yohji was real. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure anymore if I really wanted this huge thing inside my body. I had made my promise, and I would honor it, but oh sweet lord, this was going to be painful.

“No one has ever taken me before, so you have to be careful.” I pleaded. Then, realizing I more or less had promised him not to make any conditions, I continued: “You can do with me whatever yout. It. I love you.”

“You are such a sweet, beautiful young man. And you are brave. So much courage in such a frail body.” Yohji touched me. No seductive or claiming gestures, just touch.
Slowly I took one step towards him and it was all I needed to be in his arms again. Being held by him fully clothed was one of the nicest things that could happen to me. Being held by him naked was pure bliss. He was strong, but not hard in a wrong way, large but without being intimidating. It was without any fear or mistrust that I let him pick me up and take me to his bed. I knew what was going to happen and I was ready for it.

Now, months later I can smile at my own assumptions. Oh yes, we were taking a definite step that night. But it was a first step ofy. Wy. We embarked on a journey that would take us to many wondrous places. A journey for its own sake, not as a way to get somewhere as soon as possible.

We knew the kind of danger we were in during our missions. Life was never a sure thing. Death was right there, patiently lurking in the dark. More often than not I believed some angel was watching over us. But still, we were so humanly vulnerable.
YYohjYohji treated me in bed like we had all the time of the world He could have simply taken me that first night and I would have accepted the pain as simply unavoidable. In fact I would have welcomed anything from him because I believed suffering was a way of showing how much one human being can love another. I didn’t long for the pain, but I loved him enough to take the pain with the pleasure. How little did I know my lover.

By masturbating me he had taken care of the most urgent part of my need. For some reason his own erection didn’t seem to bother him. He just accepted it and ignored it. Of course, much later he confessed to me his hard-on almost made him mad. But he wanted to concentrate on me, on my body, on the lessons I had to learn. And while doing that, he almost forgot he himself was less of a master than he perhaps thought he was. My dear, sweet sensei.

He treated me with the care that comes from unconditional love. He caressed me like he hadn’t the memory of dozens of lovers in his fingers. It was his first time with me and he was as curious as I was. He acted and learned. Touches and kisses: sometimes a soft whisper on my oversensitive skin, sometimes hard enough to remind me of his ability to seriously hurt me. He learned how to please his young lover. He was forceful when he claimed me as his mate, but he didn’t hurt me in any way or manner. And I knew all those weeks of being courted by him, of being send to bed with my left hand as companion had been the right decision from Yohji. If I could trusted my soul with him, than surely my body.

“I was just as new at this as you was, Omi,” He told me weeks later, while I was in his arms, for a moment thinking of almost nothing. “I had plenty of sexual partners of both gender. And a trans or two.”
He made me giggle because of the matter of fact way he talked about his life as a playboy. He didn’t boast to me, that he reserved for others, he stated the dry facts. And in my almost implausible innocence his words couldn’t be funnier. “I never knew if the person I was with that night would be there the other day. So I was always in a hurry. Or to be honest, I knew damned well this was just another one night stand. Every encounter the same. Negotiating roles and acts, doing it, sleeping, taking a shower, bye, bye. Just kissing was a luxury I simply couldn’t afford. I made my investment and I wanted to be paid in at least one orgasm.” He scratched his hair. “Then came a cold redhead and a clumsy ex J-league player. And I saw it happening right before my eyes. Stealthy looks, touches that were really just by accident, a stolen kiss when no-one was looking. I saw the cold-one smile. And one day, months after I first saw a spark fly between them, Kenken asked me what kind of lube would be the best.”

“You fell in love with me because Aya and Ken fell in love?”

“No I fell in love with you because you are you. But I saw the slow progression of their relationship. I hardly ever had taken the time with my female lovers and never with the males I bedded. ‘Hello, nice to meet you. Now drop your pants please and bent over.’ Nothing wrong with that if you are both two grown and willing adults.”

“But you didn’t want that anymore.” I didn’t ask a question, I merely stated a fact. I tried to get a glimpse inside his head. Why he decided that weeks and months of kissing and jacking himself off and frustration were to prefer over going all the way as soon as he could manage.

“I can get a erection out of almost any pretty girl or handsome man. But I couldn’t care less if I would ever see them again after I’m done fucking them.” Yohji kissed me. “But we have all the time in the world, Omi-chan.”

“But Yohji, we can’t be sure we are to see our next birthday.” The panicky sound of my voice made him smile. And then, finally, understanding bubbled inside of me. I could hardly call it a thought, becaut ret really formed inside my abdomen and reach out with little streams of warmth. If he just lusted after me, he would have fucked me the moment he had found me more or less willing. And I would have accepted it without a complaint. But as much as he lusted after me, he loved me even more. And what was love if not a blind trust in eternity? If I died, I would take this love with me. If he died, I would have the memory of his love. And that would be enough, because at the end of my life there would be just one question. And it would not be: what did you do in bed?

Still, I wasn’t complaining when his hand wickedly wrapped warm fingers around my cock. And I certainly wasn’t angry with him when his tongue teased the almost hidden place were he had been less than an hour ago. No need for elaborate preparations, so I simply turned and offered him my back . Nothing more than a quick fuck before we went to sleep. We had work to do the next morning, after all. And Aya, happily in love and all, would not be in the best of moods if we were late for the third time this week.

He likes women, Yohji, he really does. He flirts and gives flowers and kills any men who hurt his pretty ones. But his hands flutters to my face now and again, his steals kisses from me and calls me his koi, even when he can’t be sure no-one is listening. And at night he let me sleep in the curve of his body. Now and again there are days without sex. But there is never a day I have to sleep without him.