Eternal Darkness

Disclaimer: If I owned it, would I really be writing fanfiction about it? You don\'t want to sue me; I\'m such a nice person! *Cackle*

Author: Koneko Shido

Warnings: Get ready for it... Yes, this is Uke-Cain yaoi. Yep, you read that right, Uke-Cain. I know, I know. *Rolls eyes* I\'m in a weird mood, all right? OOC, AU [um, sort of...], A little bad language, Angst, Fluff [maybe]... Making up new vampire rules...

A/N: A friend said to me: \'I bet you can\'t write a NightWalker fic with Cain uke in it.\'
So, always loving a challenge, I said: \'Watch me.\' And then I stuck out my tongue, but that\'s just because I\'m immature.
So here you go, my first uke-Cain songfic-type angst-a-thon.
BTW:
Seme = the dominant partner in a relationship or in sex.
Uke = the submissive partner.
Just for those of you who are new at all this weird Fanfiction terminology and Japanese stuff, I sympathise. It took me ages to learn all this stuff, in the end I just gave up and bought myself a Japanese dictionary. And all the abbreionsions in the warnings like OOC and TWT? Ugh, don\'t even get me started on what I had to do to find out what some of them meant. Of course, most of them are just common sense, but still...
Did I mention that this was going to be a long Author\'s Note? Well it is. I\'m in a ranting mood.
Poor Cain, I\'m messing up his character so much... oh, and prepare for a cameo from the \'Well girl\' from episode six.
C\'mon, don\'t flame me for this, I really can\'t help the sick and twisted way I see things! And I\'m of the firm belief that Cain really loves Shido and he isn\'t really such a bad guy when you get down to it. Yes, I know, I\'m probably in denial. But go to the official website at www.night-walker.net and look at the wallpapers, don\'t they just look so cute together? I can\'t help it! I hate Riho, she needs to die a slow, nasty death involving lots of pain and blood! But of course, I\'d get flamed, so I\'ll try not to kill her. I\'m prly gly going to be pretty mean to her, though... Jeez, Yayoi, Cain, even Guni! Anyone but Riho! *Ahem* Enough ranting. If you get weirded-out too much by this lame attempt at an angsty little love story coming from an author who\'s used to writing humour fics, let me down gently, huh? Also, Guni\'s views on Cain at the beginning are the same as mine. *grin*
About the song: It\'s from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack. No, I don\'t know what it\'s called or who it\'s by. I recommend downloa the the whole album, though. Very kewl vampire music!
//blah// = Lyrics [I probably got tons of them wrong... I don\'t care.]

Eternal Darkness 1 - Hell in your eyes.

//Walking, waiting, alone without a care,
Hoping, and hating, things that I can\'t bear.
Did you think it\'s cool to walk right up,
To take my life and fuck it up?
Well did you?
Well did you?//

Shido was walking past the docks when he first felt it. What \'it\' was he had no idea, but it sent a shudder thh hih him and made him think of Cain for an instant. The feeling was difficult to describe, like a part of him he\'d never realized was there in the first place had suddenly given up and begun to fade away. It didn\'t hurt, as such, it just left him feeling emptier each night as more of this mysterious place in his soul dissolved like mist in the air. Or perhaps like sugar in water.
Tonight, in particular, the feeling wawioating away at him as sat at his desk, \'spacing out\' as Guni so eloquently put it. He\'d been doing rather a lot of that this past week and it was beginning to worry Riho. But then, there wasn\'t much that *didn\'t* worry Riho.
Shido sipped his coffee absently, ignoring the fact that it had gone cold almost an hour ago. Guni sat on his pile of files and stared at him with her blood-red eyes, her chin resting on one little, green hand.
\"Hey,\" she suddenly piped up, \"you gonna tell me what\'s wrong, or what?\" She asked, or rather demanded, since she was never the most polite of creatures.
\"Nothing.\" Shido lied instinctively. Of course, Guni saw right through him as always, he never could hide things from her. Of all his three companions, Guni was the one who understood him better than anyone. Better than he did himself, sometimes.
\"You suck at lying. Tell me or I\'m gonna nag you \'till you do, and it won\'t be pretty.\" She said, folding her arms and looking determined.
\"Honestly, thes nos nothing wrong with me!\" He insisted, smiling a fake smile.
\"Bullshit. All your freaky spacing is starting to weird me out big time, what\'s up? I wanna know!\" Guni ranted, fluttering her wings in irritation behind her. Shido sighed, defeated. Perhaps talking to Guni would do him good, it wasn\'t as though there was anyone else here to hear what they said, and Guni was a lot wiser than she sometimes acted.
\"I don\'t really know, it\'s just a strange feeling. Like... emptiness. And I\'m sure Cain has something to do with it, but I don\'t know what.\" Shido supplied, looking rather helpless. Guni rolled her crimson eyes and gave an exaggerated sigh.
\"Jeez, you\'re pathetic. What is this, you pining for your long lost lover, you fag?\" Guni smirked helpfully.
\"No! I\'m not pining for anything!\" Shido blushed a little. \"I just have this weird feeling that I\'m losing something I never knew I had in the first place.\" Shido told the urban fairy, frowning.
\"Well, that makes a whole lot of sense. If you never knew you had this whatever-it-is thing in the first place, what\'s the big deal if you lose it?\" Guni asked, still trying to understand exactly what Shido was \'whining\' about.
\"I-I don\'t know, I just feel like... like it\'s important and I need to keep it. It\'s too damn confusing!\" Shido sounded annoyed.
\"No shit. I think you\'re losing it, as in your mind, y\' basket case.\" Guni grinned, twirling her finger next to her head and crossing her eyes.
\"You\'re so helpful, Guni.\" Shido sighed sarcastically, unable to stop himself smiling a little at her antics. Well, at least she\'d managed to cheer him up a little, that was something.
\"Hey, why don\'t you just go ask Cain why you\'re feeling all weird? You said it had something to do with him, right?\" Guni shrugged, fluttering up to sit on Shido\'s shoulder. The lavender-haired vampire instantly refused.
\"No! I\'m not going to go running to him with my problems! Besides, it\'s been months since I last saw him, maybe he finally got the message.\"
Guni poked Shido\'s pale cheek and giggled, peering at him.
\"Aww, don\'t pretend you don\'t love the creepy stalker guy!\" She cackled.
\"Wh-what?!\" Shido gasped. Guni giggled harder, losing her balance and falling onto the desk, stillckerckering.
\"Look who\'s blushing! C\'mon, who do you think you\'re fooling with all this \'I hate Cain\' stuff anyway? Riho and Yayoi might buy it but I\'m not letting you off so easy. Remember last time we saw him when he kissed yoah! ah! You were *so* begging for it. It still totally grosses me out thinking about it.\" Guni stuck out her tongue. Shido scowled at her and she smirked wickedly. \"I don\'t blame you, though, he is kinda cute in an evil kinda way.\"
And was that ever true, Shido thought.
\"I don\'t give a damn about him.\" Shido argued lamely, knowing full well how pathetic he sounded. Guni coughed the word \'denial\' and tried to look innocent when he glared at her.
\"I don\'t!\" He insisted, almost sulking.
\"Yeah, sure, whatever you say.\" The fairy giggled, rolling her eyes again.
\"He\'s the bad guy, remember?\" The vampire said, leaning back and folding his arms.
\"Hey, love\'s messed up. Stuff like that won\'t help you.\" Guni informed him.
\"Why do you even care anyway? I though you hated him?\" Shido asked.
\"You really wanna know? Well see seems like there are two people stalking you, and sooner or later you\'re gonna have to choose one of them. It\'s either Riho, who is annoying, pathetic and spineless, or Cain, who is evil, gorgeous and kinda cool. So from that little description of your two possible mates, who do you think I\'m routing for, huh?\" Guni grinned, moving to sit with her back against the plantpot which held the cactus she\'d nicknamed \'Spike.\'
\"Riho\'s not spineless, she\'s very...\" Shido trailed off, trying to think of what Riho was.
\"Very sweet and innocent and goddamned annoying, yeah.\" Guni scowled. \"That kid gets on my nerves, I still can\'t believe you slept with her. It was kind of a mercy thing to stop her going all psycho and killing everyone, but still... eww. And she seems to have gotten the message for the moment that it was a onf bef because you\'re confused and have a shitload of issues.\" Guni shrugged.
\"I am not confused, and I do not have issues, thank you very much.\" Shido glared.
\"Do you love Riho? Do you love Cain?\" Guni said in a singsong voice, tilting her head from one side to the other and sticking out her tongue, making faces.
\"I... uh...\" Shido stammered, blushing.
\"Yeah, you\'re not confused at aaaaall.\" Guni drawled, then stood up abruptly and put her hands on her tiny hiplarilaring up at Shido. \"Go see Cain so you can go back to as near normal as you ever get, and stop being such a sissy and whining about all your weird feelings that are all in your head \'cause you\'re a big weirdo. Jeez, next you\'ll be saying the cactus is looking at you funny! Why don\'t you go off and argue with Cain a bit? That always makes you feel better, right?\" Guni demanded.
\"Fine, I\'ll go and see him, but only to find out what he knows about this strange feeling I\'ve been having, which, by the way, is *not* in my head. But this in no way means I love him or miss him or anything like that and I\'m only doing it to shut you up. Happy now?\" Shido asked as he got up and stomped over to pull on his coat.
\"Yep, and you can quit sulking.\" Guni snickered, yawning. \"Jeez, all your stupid emotional crises and moral dilemmas tire me out. I\'m going to sleep. If Yayoi or the moron drops by I\'ll say you\'re out kicking something\'s ass. And they can write you a note if they want anything, \'cause I\'m not an answering machine! You guys take me for granted.\" She grumblShidShido smiled and ignored her bitching, walking out of the small office and clicking the door closed quietly after him.
\"What would he do without me here to listen to all his stupid probl He He should hire himself a psychiatrist, huh, Spike?\" Guni said told the cactus, snickering as she stretched out on the desk. The cactus, unsurprisingly, declined to answer.

//I see hell in your eyes,
Taken in by surprise,
Touching you makes me feel alive,
Touching you makes me die inside.//

Shido found Cain without too much difficulty, the two vampires had always been able to sense the other\'s presence in an area and Shido\'s senses led him to a church. The very same church where he had once fought Cain and ended up cursing Riho with eternity, that single, bloody kiss changing her forever into a creature of the night.
Shido took a deep breath and swung the doors open, stridin wit with his sword drawn and ready in his hand, expecting a fight. The sight that met his eyes inside the candlelit hall was the last thing he\'d expected, though.
Cain was knelt before the large, wooden cross at the end of the church, his back to Shido, golden hair glowing in the candlelight.
\"Cain.\" Shido growled in greeting, stalking closer until he stood only a few feet from his former master, who had still mov moved. Now that he was closer, Shido could hear Cain whispering soft words in Transylvanian, words which the younger vampire could not understand. The feeling of loss and emptiness had intensified to an almost unbearable level now that he was here; it was coming from Cain. The golden haired vampire\'s voice seemed strained and he was radiating pain and... weariness. Perhaps he was hurt, but wouldn\'t Cain just find some unfortunate human, suck them dry and heal himself? And what could possibly be strong enough to harm Cain so much?
\"Cain.\" Shido said again, a little louder. At his voice the older vampire tensed and halted his whispered words, standing up wearily and seeming to gather his usual composure about him again. Then he turned, finally, to face Shido, wearing a forced smirk.
Shido scanned his former lover\'s body for any wounds or signs of injury bet could find none, nothing except the tired, weary look in his eyes and the feeling of pain.
\"Ah, Shido. How good to see you again.\" Cain said in his usual deep, accented voice, though to Shido it sounded a little forced.
\"Well this is new, have you taken up religion now, Cain?\" Shido asked, his voice dripping sarcasm. Can laughed.
\"Call it a test, if you will. I wished to see if God would listen to me, and it seems he has.\" Cain chuckled softly, stepping closer to the ornate cross and running his elegant fingers over the wood. Shido frowned, confused.
\"What the hell are you talking about? What was it you were praying for anyway, the \'golden dawn\'?\" Shido growled out, following Cain over to the cross and touching his arm, wanting Cain to face him.
\"No, Shido, I simply asked to see you once more. My prayers were answered, were they not?\" Cain murmured, his voice faltering, losing its force.
\"\'Once more\'? What do you mean?\" Shido demanded as Cain looked into his eyes then reached out with a delicate, pale hand to touch the younger vampire\'s beautiful face gently.

//Walking, waiting, alone without a care,
Hoping, and hating, things that I can\'t bear.
Did you think it\'s cool to walk right up?
To take my life and fuck it up?
Well did you?
I... Hate... You.//

As Shido watched Cain\'s fingers come up to brush his cheek he noticed with a shock that the golden haired vampire\'s hand was trembling. And the look in his eyes... it was like his very soul was dying a slow, painful death.
\"Just one more time...\" Cain whispered, his hand faltering before he could touch Shido\'s perfect skin. Then, in a show of weakness Shido had never seen the older vampire display before, Cain gave a pained groan and collapsed back against the wooden cross behind him, his amber eyes closing as he slid to the ground. Shido called his name in shock, kneeling down beside him and touching Cain\'s pale cheek gently, earning no response from the unconscious vampire.
Without even pausing to think, Shido lifted Cain\'s surprisingly fragile form in his arms and headed for the door.

//I see hell in your eyes,
Taken in by surprise,
And touching you makes me feel alive,
And touching you makes me die inside.//

\"Oh... My... God.\" Guni blinked as Shido burst in the office door with Cain in his arms.
\"He just collapsed! It wasn\'t me!\" Shido explained, draping his former master\'s unconscious form elegantly across the couch.
\"Well, this is really messed up.\" Was all Guni had to say, sitting on the edge of the desk to watch as Shido stood back and tried to decide what to do next.
\"So what\'s wrong with him? Hey, if he needs blood, he\'s not having any of mine! I barely have enough for a snack!\" Guni ranted.
\"I-I don\'t know what\'s wrong with him, he \'s never done anything like this before! He-he was always so strong, I don\'t understand!\" Shido explained, worried despite himself.
\"Well, I\'m outta here. Much as I prefer the guy over Riho, he\'s still a psycho and I *don\'t* wanna be here when he wakes up. Good luck!\" Guni grinned.
\"Wait! You can\'t just leave!\" Shido glared at her but she just flittered past him towards the open window.
\"Hey, it\'s not my problem!\" She laughed wickedly, flying off out into the night. Shido stared after her for a few moments, feeling helpless, then sighed and turned back to Cain\'s still form, laid out on the couch with one arm draped across his chest, the other trailing from the sofa so that his fingers brushed the carpet. His golden hair pooled around him in waves of silk and in his sleep he could almost be mistaken for an angel.
\'Almost...\' Shido thought, frowning. It was rather confusing why he was so worried about the older vampire, but deep in his soul he knew the real reason. Guni was right, as usual. He did love Cain, he always had. He hated what Cain did and what he stood for, but inside all that there was still *Cain*.
Strip away the cool exterior and the blanket of evil he wrapped himself in so thoroughly and underneath you were left with a man who had chased Shido half way around the world out of love. Shido was the only one ever to have seen how gentle and loving Cain could be when there were no others there to see. He could be cruel at times too, quite a lot of the time, but that was just the way Cain was.
And it was so very strange to see him like this. Shido knelt down on the floor beside the couch and ran his fingers through Cain\'s soft, blonde hair gently. Something had happened to Cain, something so terrible that it had reduced him to this, and Shido longed to find out what could have harmed his mate. The thought occurred to Shido that with Cain passed out and helpless like this he could simply kill him, but that idea was discarded instantly. Shido had more honour than to attack a sleeping enemy, no matter who they were. Also, it was Cain, and Shido didn\'t think he\'d be able to go through with it in any case. He\'d come close to killing Cain once before during their fight on the bridge, but somehow he\'d known that it wouldn\'t be enough. And he had been glad. In fact, he had almost been happy when that familiar, comforting darkness had flooded into his office and Cain had returned once again to kiss him tenderly, forgiving him, and once more offering him a place at his side and in his arms. Shido had refused, as he always did, but it was comforting to know that when he could no longer bear the rush and noise of the human world... He would always have a home to return to and a mate to love him, no matter how their views differed. Shido smiled softly as he decided that, when they cast their war aside, they were just two lovers when it came down to it all. He brushed a gentle touch against Cain\'s pale throat and remembered all the times the blonde vampire had offered his blood to his lavender-haired lover, though Cain would never dream of letting any other vampire feed from him, no matter who it was. Only Shido. And often, in those wonderful nights before he\'d fled his master, Shido had offered his own blood to Cain. But... Cain would very rarely accept. Only when he was too badly wounded to hunt, or in the heights of passion when, for an instant, the two of them had become nothing but animals.

//I\'ve slept so long without you,
It\'s tearing me apart, dude,
How\'d it get this far?
Playing games with this held heart.
I\'ve killed a million petty souls,
But I couldn\'t kill you,
I\'ve slept so long without you.//

At Shido\'s gentle touch Cain shifted slightly in his sleep, a frown of pain crossing his beautiful face for a moment before he settled again.
Behind him Shido heard a fluttering noise and he turned, expecting to see Guni perched somewhere, watching him.
\"Hello again, my handsome young vampire.\" The small girl said, smirking at him. Out of pure instinct Shido leapt up and bit into his finger, drawing out his blood sword and keeping himself between the girl and his unconscious mate.
\"You! What do you want?\" Shido snarled, knowing now that this little girl he\'d protected from a nightbreed at the bottom of a well was actually a vampire perhaps even older than Cain.
\"What a fine greeting! And good evening to you, too, Shido.\" The girl laughed, vanishing with the noise of fluttering wings and reappearing behind Shido, who spun around and gasped as she reached out to touch Cain\'s cheek.
\"Poor, pathetic child. What a pitiful way for such a noble vampire to die!\" She laughed, looking down at Cain.
\"D-die?! What do you mean?!\" Shido gasped, his sword dissolving. \"What\'s wrong with him?\" Shido demanded, wanting to tear the girl\'s hand away from his mate but knowing that she was probably a lot stronger than him.
The girl laughed, looking back to Shido.
\"My dear detective, you really don\'t understand, do you?\" She smiled. \"You are killing him.\"

//I see hell in your eyes,
Taken in by surprise,
Touching you makes me feel alive,
And touching you makes me die inside...//

TBC

This was going to be a one-shot, but I thought I\'d just post what I have so far and see how it goes down. Yes, it WILL have an uke-Cain lemon later on. Weird idea, huh? But, as I mentioned... I\'m in a weird mood. And I\'m happy, \'Cause I FINALLY got \'Bruises\' finished. It took ages! And I managed to write a half-decent lemon in it, too. Go read it.
So please review, and tell me how this is going so far. I know it\'s a strange idea, but it gets better. And more angsty.
This will probably only have two or three parts, so it shouldn\'t take too long to finish, provided I don\'t get flamed by everyone for making Shido seme for once. Pleeeease don\'t flame me! Last time I got flamed [back when I was writing het Dragonball Z fics, years ago] it took me weeks to get over it! And it was a really stupid flame, too, complaining that I\'d changed stuff in the story. But isn\'t that part of the point of fanfiction? I ended up taking the whole story down and never continuing it. *sniffle* I hate flamers. Constructive criticism I can handle, so feel free to tell me I suck, but in a nice way. Or you can just tell me I\'m great and you all love me, that would be nice too. *grin*