Sweet Psychosis

Disclaimer: Nightwalker belongs to Ayana Itsuki/AIC/Bandai Visual/Mitsubishi Corporation. I don\'t own it. If I did, it would probably end up a lot like this fic is going to. Perverted.

Warnings: Where to start?! Extreme amounts of perversion, twisting the plot of the show, making Shido not-quite-so-sweet-and-innocent, Yaoi in huge doses, Weirdness... Read the author\'s note and you\'ll understand. Maybe.

Author: Koneko Shido

A/N: Ughh... I finally got \'Bruises\' finished, so I reckon that means I\'m allowed to start another fic, right? Everyone else has gone to the beach, and frankly the thought of being covered in sand and trampled by screaming children actually *scares* me, so I thought I\'d have a nice, way-too-sweet cup of tea and write something twisted instead. And by twisted, I mean *very* twisted. I happen to be suffering from a case of what I like to call \'Inspired Perversion\' at the moment, and this is the result. *Grin* It\'s pretty much me re-writing each episode of thriesries and seeing how perverted I can make it. In my scary little mind, Shido is still lovers withn, an, and, as Cain said, he really *is* just \'playing around with mortals\' for something to do. And Cain is playing along. But you\'ll find out more abut that later, for now, just don\'t be surprised that Cain\'s going to be popping up a lot, or talking to Shido telepathically and saying weird things.
So, here is the official warning, so you can\'t flame me: In this story, I am turning Shido, our lovely, good, all-round nice guy into a psychotic, sadistic, occasionally masochistic wicked little nymphomaniac. And I hate Riho. There is your warning, take notes.
Now *This* is going to be fun to write.
Oh, and \'Buffy the Vampire Slayer\' fans should look away now. You were warned, so no flames!
\"Blah\" = speech [Out loud]
//Blah// = speech [Telepathic]

Sweet Psychosis
1st Night: Perfect Perspective. [part 1]

Slow jazz music swirled out of the open window of a car driving along the deserted expanse of the Bay Bridge, holding a man and a woman, who would soon be dead. The Nightbreed watched them, wishing it just had a shotgun, or a sniper rifle or something, so that it wouldn\'t have to jump in front of the car and risk getting splattered all over the tarmac. Which, even for a nightbreed, isn\'t a pleasant experience.
Lacking any such weapons, the nightbreed sighed to itself and leapt out onto the road, smashing the windscreen of the car and sending it screeching through the railings to explode into a nice, satisfying fireball on the concrete below. Lovely.
And whilst all of this was happening...

Shido rolled over and grabbed the remote, flicking the television on and smirking at the way Cain tensed. He still wasn\'t used to the wonders of human technology, and he glared at Shido, who tried to look innocent. He was surprisingly good at it, Cain thought with a smirk.
\"Oh, not her...\" Shido moaned suddenly, burying his face in the pillow. Cain frowned and looked at the glowing screen across the room, raising an eyebrow. \'Buffy the Vampire Slayer,\' no wonder Shido was pissed off.
\"What kind of a name is \'Buffy\'?\" Cain wondered out loud, watching the blonde girl kicking ass on the television, wincing slightly when she stuck a stake through some poor vampire, who looked down at it in surprise then crumbled into ash.
\"Don\'t care, turn it off...\" Shido muttered, feeling around on the sheets for the remote, his face still buried in the pillow, mumbling something about wanting to know \'why the bitch won\'t stay dead.\'
Cain decided to torture his lover into a conversation about this much-hated show.
\"Why does this girl kill vampires?\" He asked, it being the first question to present itself to his scheming mind.
\"\'Cause she\'s PMS-ing? How the hell should I know? I don\'t care about her issues, I just want something to kill her already.\" Shido bitched into his pillow, giving up his hunt for the remote, which Cain now had in his hand, looking down at it in minor interest then shifting his gaze back to the television. Then something caught Cain\'s attention on the screen and he looked disgusted.
\"What,\" he asked in a sickened voice, \"is THAT?\"
\"Angel.\" Shido muttered, without looking up. \"Good guy.\"
\"He\'s helping the humans kill vampires.\" Cain pointed out, thinking that, if his little Shido hadn\'t been such a deranged psychopath, the two might have had something in common.
\"Don\'t care.\" Shido reminded Cain, whose eye was caught by another character.
\"Who is-\"
\"Spike.\" Shido cut him off, finally turning to look at the screen, watching the one character he liked being wicked to various people in various ways.
\"He seems... interesting.\" Cain commented absently, getting bored with the show. Mostly because now that Shido had sat up the sheet had fallen away to leave his pale chest bare, rising and falling slightly with each breath.
\"Ouch.\" Shido winced as another unsuspecting vampire was thoroughly disposed of on the screen he couldn\'t seem to tear his eyes from.
\"Where is the \'off\' button?\" Cain frowned, looking down at the remote as though it were some strange and indecipherable piece of alien technology. In the end he simply gave up and dropped the remote to the floor, crawling across the bed to reach out and pull the plug from the wall, giving a satisfied sigh as the screen blinked off.
Shido\'s attention flickered from the dead television to his master\'s body, on the befobefore him on all fours, looking like some elegant feline with all that golden hair falling in waves down over his naked back. Oh yes, he made a delicious sight, and Shido smirked, crawling forward a little to run his tongue up Cain\'s spine to his neck, leaning over his master and nipping affectionately at Cain\'s shoulder.
\"Are we finished with \'television\' now?\" Cain asked in a mocking voice, turning to bury his hand in Shido\'s purple hair and yank him to his master\'s lips for a possessive kiss.
\"If you have something better to do...\" Shido gasped breathlessly as his master let him break off to breathe, although he didn\'t necessarily *need* to.
Cain just smirked. Did that really need an answer?

Back at the site of the gory car crash, the police finally decided to show up, and were promptly slaughtered in very bloody but interesting ways by the nightbreed, who had taken over the body of the man killed in the wreck, but had found it to be too badly damaged. It had exploded out from the man\'s chest, just to freak out the cops, then killed them and gone off somewhere to sulk about not being able to find a suitable body. Jeez, the cars had airbags and roll cages and all that shit, why couldn\'t just *one* human survive so that it could possess them? It was *so* unfair. The poor nightbreed was taking all of this rather personally.

* * *

\"An accident, ah? Since when did the NOS take over traffic control from the police department?\" Shido asked in a bored voice, not really paying attention. What he was *actually* doing was trying to think of a way to kill someone with every object in his office. He\'d just gotten to the cactus, and was trying not to burst out laughing. Cain was supplying him with some very perverted and unwholesome images.
//So how do you kill someone with paper?// Shido thought to Cain, who was probably off stalking around town being evil. That was his hobby, being evil. He was very good at it, in fact.
//I suppose you could paper cut them to death.// Cain\'s voice echoed in Shido\'s mind.
//Well, yes, but that would hurt...// Shido thought, wincing mentally.
//That is the point, is it not?// Cain said in a mocking voice.
//Oh, right. Ok, what\'s next? Staple gun? Paperclips?// Shido wondered, looking up at Yayoi\'s voice.
\"Try to be serious. There\'ve been 13 consecutive fatal accidents in the last 3 days alone. That\'s not exactly normal.\" She said.
\"Don\'t worry, it\'s not me. I don\'t have a driver\'s license.\" Shido supplied. //Can you drive?// He asked Cain, the thought suddenly occurring to him.
//Why would I need to?// Cain asked in a confused voice.
//Good point. I\'m bored. And hungry.// Shido mentally pouted, listening to Cain laughing at him as he shot some lewd comment at Yayoi. And then Riho walked in. Which would have been alright, if Yayoi hadn\'t been draped over Shido, nuzzling him in a very suggestive way.
//My stalker just walked in. She looks mad.// Shido told Cain, who smirked. It was pretty easy to tell when Cain was smirking, even when one couldn\'t see him. He sent an air of \'smugness\' down their mental link and chuckled softly.
//Are you by any chance flirting shamelessly with your other human?// Cain asked, amused.
//Maybe. Shi Shido admitted, turning his attention back to the fuming little schoolgirl standing before the desk.
\"Mr Shido. I thought you might like some coffee.\" Riho squawked, slamming the tray down on the table and glaring at everything.
\"That\'s certainly thoughtful of you, Riho dear. You\'ll make a fine secretary one day.\" Yayoi smirked, sipping her cof Rih Riho looked even *more* pissed, if possible.
//Well, this is nice.// Shido thought, letting his mind wander as the two human women got on with their gng mng match.
//This is nicer...// Cain whispered to him, sending a ghostly touch up the inside of his thigh.
//Ahh! Not now!// Shido gasped to Cain, laughing nervously out loud to try and cover the fact that he was being invisibly molested.
\"Ehheh. C\'mon Yayoi, it\'s time to get to work.\" He managed to say, sighing as Cain\'s touches melted away, accompanied by a wicked laugh.
//That was just cruel,// Shido whined. Cain smirked again.
//I know.// He said. Guni chose that moment to pop out from Shido\'s masses of silken violet hair and giggle.
\"I can\'t remember the last time I saw anyone as tough as you are, big guy!\" She laughed.
\"Hey!\" Shido pouted and shoved her back before Riho could see.
Then, as usual, things got back to as near normal as they ever were around the office and Yayoi went on about the case, while Riho went back to cleaning up in the kitchen.
//Why doesn\'t she just say \'There\'s a big, nasty nightbreed on the loose, can you kill it please?\'// Shido wondered as he half listened to Yayoi talking about the case.
//Because if she did say that you would most likely be upset that she was making light of your intelligence.//
//True.// Shido sighed, bored again.
//What is... Maple Syrup?// Cain asked suddenly in a confused voiceido ido blinked.
//What? You\'re not in a grocery store, are you?// He asked, barely containing his laughter and getting a few strange looks from Yayoi.
//No...// Cain lied. //What is \'Whipped Cream\'?// He asked.
//...// Shido coughed, trying to cover his laughter. //Buy some, I\'ll show you what you do with it tonight. And get some maple syrup. Why the hell are you in a grocery store?// The violet-haired vampire snickered.
//Boredom. And hunger. There are a large number of humans here, you know.// Cain added.
//Yes, I imagine they\'re probably grocery shopping.// Shido supplied.
//Indeed. Are you finished with your humans yet?// Cain asked, picking up a packet of washing powder and staring at it with a raised eyebrow.
//Almost.// Shido told his lover, standing up and stalking over to the chair where Yayoi say, leaning over to take her hand.
\"You do realise I expect to be handsomely rewarded for this, I hope?\" He told her, trying to ignore Cain\'s random questions about cleaning products in the back of his mind as Yayoi put her arms around him.
\"I\'d be more than happy to spare a little for you.\" Yayoi murmured, about to kiss him. And then Riho, who had been listening, droppetraytray, completely ruining the moment.
//Damn.// Shido thought.
//Quite.// Cain agreed, amusing himself in the frozen foods section.

TBC

Sorry, I was trying to get one episode done per chapter, but I\'m being nagged to go out somewhere to do... something. I have no idea. And I could care less. I\'m going with \'post what you have and finish it later.\'
Is it going ok so far? I\'m making fun of Cain. I shouldn\'t, he\'s my favourite character, it\'s just so much fun to laugh at him!
Please leave me a review, and I\'ll get this finished ASAP! I\'m enjoying it, apart from the fact I have to write out all the scripts for the episodes so I know what\'s going on. Anyway, this will be continued soon, and so will \'Coffee time\' because people actually seemed to like it, which isn\'t what I expected. This is sort of going to be along the same lines. And I\'m very sorry for making Shido so wicked, but it\'s funny! And I think that\'s a good excuse. Review!