Hakkai\'s Fever

Hakkai\'s Fever
By Nix Winter

Disclaimer: I don\'t own Saiyuki, but I highly recommend it.

Warnings: One shot… probably in two parts, it\'s a pwp mostly.


The sun rose gently over the distant hills, filling the window with sunlight that Sanzo wasn\'t ready for. He turned a page of the novel he was reading, quietly. Hakkai\'s already shallow breaths speeded up and his eyebrows drew down. Holding his book with one hand, Sanzo reached out and smoothed sweaty hair away from Hakkai\'s face. \"Shhhh,\" he whispered comfortingly. \"I\'m here. It\'s just the sun rising, Hakkai. It will be alright.\"

The back of Sanzo\'s fingers smoothed over dark hair. The poison working on Hakkai\'s body gave neither of them any quarter, no ground to stand on. The lessons were clear to Sanzo, \'If you meet your father in battle, kill your father\'. Do not let wishful thinking stay your hand, guide your heart. When he\'d realized his heart loved Hakkai, the laughing, smiling, shy, slightly twisted youki, he\'d followed the same rule. If you love, don\'t waste time denying it. \"They\'ll be back soon,\" he told himself, more than Hakkai. Gojyo and Goku would be back soon with the antidote.

Hakkai licked dry lips, the tip of his tongue slowly drawing a dry line over them. In a small voice, he whispered, \"Thirsty.\"

Leaving his book in his chair, Sanzo crossed to the table and the pot of now cool tea. He poured tea into the small blue pottery cup, put just the slightest bit of honey into it, to give Hakkai some needed energy, stirred, his heart chanting a sutra of healing over it, even though, it felt unmonk-like to do that. His sandals clicked against the floor, so softly, worn sandals against the unyielding wood floor. \"I will lift you, so you can drink,\" he said, bracing one knee against the bed, as he slipped an arm under the shoulders of this man that would not know he loved him. \"I will lift slowly.\"

\"Sanzo,\" Hakkai whispered, fingers pushing ineffectively against the thin cotton sheet. \"How long?\"

\"Drink,\" Sanzo commanded, as if that were the elixir for everything. \"They will be back soon.\"

Hakaryu whined, lifted his little dragon head from where it rested on Hakkai\'s hip and eyed Sanzo. It felt accusatory to the monk, but he told himself that was his own sense of worthless guilt. \"I don\'t want to be alone,\" Hakkai whispered, eyes closed.

Death, when it\'s hunted down and achived in some firy unbelievable way, it doesn\'t seem to hold the dread of that which comes on slowly, eating away at the senses one little bit at a time. \"You are not alone. I am here with you,\" Sanzo said, firmly, pressing the lip of the cup to Hakkai\'s dry one\'s pouring just a little of the sweetened tea into him. \"I will not leave you, Cho Hakkai.\"

\"If I die,\" Hakkai said, pausing to lick the drop of honey from his lip, then to swallow a little more tea, \"Will you sing the sutras for me, sing them like you mean them?\"

\"If you die, I will kick your lazy ass all the way back to the heavens,\" Sanzo snarled while still being very gentle with Hakkai\'s weakened body. \"I will drag your sorry ass to the Merciful Goddess and demand she incarnate you again so you can finish what we\'ve started!\"

\"Sanzo?\" Hakkai said, fingers now having worked their way free of the sheet, he reached to clumsily touch the moisture clinging to blond eyelashes. \"Your eyes are the most beautiful I have ever seen.\"

Disgusted, Sanzo laid Hakkai back on the bed and stood there, turning the cup in his fingers, thinking about the texture of blue pottery, cheap pottery. \"They\'re just eyes, Hakkai. Do you believe in facing the truth? Without wavering?\"

Hakkai\'s breath rattled his chest, a thousand rasping demons where lungs ought to be. \"We should face it. I\'m going to die.\"

\"I didn\'t mean that, Idiot. You\'re not going to die.\" Sanzo set the cup back down on the little table near his chair.

\"Then what do you mean,\" Hakkai asked, fingers limp on his belly as Hakaryu licked at them, nudged them with his nose. \"They had to go all the way to Mirrah. The inn keeper said six days, even with the motorcycle we rented. My chi is waning. I can feel it slipping and I can\'t hold it Sanzo. Forgive me?\"

\"No!\" Sanzo snapped, arms across his chest, back to Hakkai. \"No. I am not going to forgive you. Hold on! I need you.\"

\"What?\" The \'what\' was a little like, \'excuse the living hell out of me, but what did you mean by that?\', except that Hakkai really didn\'t have the strength. Sanzo didn\'t admit to needing any of them, nor wanting any of them. \"I\'m not trying to let go.\"

\"Then hold on!\" Sanzo turned around, one angry tear slipping down his face. \"When I fought off the scorpion venom, you were there talking to me. Everytime I\'ve been hurt or lost, you\'ve been there. I used to see Shuei in my dreams, dreams that monks don\'t have. But that was just a child\'s daydream. Now I see you, and I\'m a monk. I\'ll never have that, but the sound of your voice, the smiles that touch your eyes, these things make me live. If you die, this spark of life will go out of me and I will beat Goku much more frequently,\" Sanzo said, trying to threaten in a way that would make his outrageous admission humorous. \"Don\'t die, Hakkai.\"
anzoanzo,\" Hakkai said, reproachfully. \"Sanzo, I thought I couldn\'t think of you that way,\" he said, then broke into a coughing fit that curled him up off the bed, rattled his lungs.

Sanzo clutched him to him, arm around his back, holding the ex-school teacher upright, willing his own chi into the failing body of his friend. \"You need energy, take mine,\" Sanzo ground out, tilting Hakkai\'s chin up. \"I don\'t know qigong, but I know breath and soul. Take mine.\"

There is something in a virgin kiss, the first kiss of a life time, when it is given intentionally, not just on a childish whim, but when the heart has gone before it. Sanzo\'s fingers tangled angrily in Hakkai\'s hair, both cradling his head and preventing resistance. Awkward pale lips, closed over Hakkai\'s, moving against them as if that were all there were to it. Fever heated lips opened under his and Hakkai\'s hand found his cheek, then Hakkai\'s tongue slipped into his mouth, penetrating where no one had ever gone and Sanzo willed his very spirit into this kiss, willed his energy into Hakkai.

Cool tongue to fevered, this was a language that Hakkai knew better than Sanzo, but it was Sanzo that held the kiss, that thrust back into Hakkai\'s mouth, tasting, soothing daring the poison to jump to him as well. Sanzo\'s free hand caressed down Hakkai\'s face, finger\'s spread, touching skin, reveling in the texture, warmth, the life still there. When the kiss broke, he held Hakkai, cradled him close to his chest, fingers caressing Hakkai\'s face, counting his pulse. \"Sex will raise your qi?\"

\"Sex?\" Hakkai\'s eyes blinked open, \"Sex? Are you going to hire a whore?\"

\"No,\" Sanzo said, frosty as Hakkai was fevered. He did however pull the sheet back, chasing a worried Hakaryu from the bed. \"I\'m going to do it myself.\"

\"You can\'t!\" Hakkai said, gasping for breath, but already his color was better, his breathing easier. Just the kiss had raised his energy a little. \"Your vows!\"

\"My vow to my master was to protect the scriptures, to be true to myself,\" Sanzo said, slipping an arm under Hakkai\'s knees so he could lift him, moving him over on the bed. Wearing just an unbleached cotton night shirt, Hakkai had little defense as Sanzo moved him over, head against the maten scripture, toes trailing against the bed as he was moved. \"To be true to myself, I admit I love you. I will do all I can to save you. I would make you my successor and give you the scriptures if giving my life would save you. I\'m not the woman you loved, but can you desire my touch enough to raise your qi?\"

\"Sanzo,\" Hakkai whispered, hiding his face against the sacred scriptures and the soft priest robs. \"Sanzo, I can\'t desire you! I don\'t want to harm you!\"

Laying Hakkai back, Sanzo caught his chin again and looked into his eyes, deep into his eyes. \"I love you, Cho Hakkai. I think I have since I took you before the Gods. The only dishonor I have caused is by pretending that was untrue. Does it revolt you that I could touch you intimately, touch places of your body that monks are not to think of?\"

\"No,\" Hakkai whispered, cheeks colored brighter than a poisonous fever could do. \"No, thinking of that raises my qi and it is a qigong, sex is, but I can not ask that of you. It is too great a gift.\"

\"I desire you and I feel the qi rise in me. This is qi you need to survive. Let me give it to you,\" Sanzo said, practical, feeling better in that moment as his robes dropped to the floor, leaving him wearing just the black under garment. \"I have no skills though, Hakkai. I have only the desire to see you live and the basic passions of a man.\"

Hakkai lifted his hand, reaching toward the priest. \"I don\'t fear death, so much, not now, Sanzo.\" His hand dropped towards the bed when Sanzo did not reach to catch it, but the black garment fell a moment later, leaving a too skinny body exposed for the first time. This was different than bathing, different than any other nakedness Sanzo had ever known. Instead of hiding his need, the hard passion that took blood from his brain, he let it show openly, hard and shiny at the tip with orgasm that craved release.

\"Beautiful,\" Hakkai said, but Sanzo couldn\'t tell if he were being polite or honest. It was hard to tell with Hakkai sometimes. \"Later, will you forgive me for lusting for you?\"

Nervous, Sanzo tried to look completely serious as he stretched out on the narrow bed next to Hakkai. \"Easier to forgive that than to forgive you dying,\" the monk said, reaching down and pulling the sheet over them both. \"I\'m going to touch you. Tell me if you want me to stop.\"

\"Never stop,\" Hakkai said, as Sanzo\'s shaking fingers pulled his night shirt up, then lightly brushed down his belly, over a thigh, and back up his own erection. \"Can I touch you?\"

\"Touch me,\" Sanzo dared, invited.

His body jerked as Hakkai\'s fingers brushed the very sensitive head of his hardness and his own breath turned ragged as burning fingers encircled the head, stroking moisture from the tip back over the head, down the shaft just al little. \"Oh shit,\" Sanzo groaned, his own fingers trying to imitate Hakkai\'s movement, wrapping around the hot flesh that was Hakkai\'s sexual center. \"Oh, shit. How do I give you this energy?\"

With a small groan, Hakkai rolled onto his side. \"I can\'t say that I\'ve ever studied this technique,\" he whispered, lips close to Sanzo\'s, \"But we\'re making love.\"

\"We\'re having sex,\" Sanzo corrected with a groan, hips demanding he thrust into Hakkai\'s encircling fingers. \"I loved you before.\"

\"Picky,\" Hakkai said, a little of his normal humor slipping in as he thrust into Sanzo\'s fingers and the tips of their hardons touched, \"Oh god, rub yourself against me!\"
Sanzo scooted closer, got his fingers around both of their hardons and they moved, thrusting, caressing, pressing against each other, and when Hakkai came, Sanzo froze. Feverish hot cum flew over his fingers, up between them and he feared for his precious Hakkai, feared he\'d hurt him, but the thrusts were harder, held tight at the deepest part and then his body threw him over the top as well. Semen, hot and virginal, denied for decades burst out of him, hitting Hakkai\'s belly, making Sanzo cry out. He saw white, and as he rode that indescribable peak, he willed the energy to Hakkai, willed his very soul to Hakkai. Panting, they lay together as they drifted back down from the heavens.

Hakkai\'s breathing eased, his fever lowered and Sanzo held him, rocking him even in his sleep. The poison had two portions of qi to fight and Hakkai rode out the worst moments held in Sanzo\'s arms.

Sometime in the night that followed, Gojyo and Goku returned. The two in the bed missed the opening of the door and it was Gojyo clearing his throat that woke them. Hakkai, feeling weak, but not nearly close to death, lifted his head, smiled weakly and teased, \"Does this look bad?\"

\"Define bad,\" Gojyo replied dryly.

\"I don\'t get it! What\'s wrong? Couldn’t Sanzo afford his own bed?\" Goku laced his fingers behind his head and tried to figure out just what Gojyo seemed so amused by.

\"Come on, Monkey. Let\'s get some food and give them a moment to wake up.\"

\"Alright! Can we get some springrolls?\"

Gojyo closed the door and Hakkai could hear them arguing all the way down the hall. He found one violet eye watching him from where Sanzo was nestled in the covers.

\"Do you regret?\" He asked softly.

\"I only regret not touching you sooner, Hakkai. I never stop loving.\"

\"I love you too,\" Hakkai said, then sat up. \"We will leave after I am a little better.\"

\"Yes,\" Sanzo agreed, his smile very fleeting, but very genuine. \"But I will still sit by you in the jeep and we will still share a room, if you like.\"

\"Living never sounded so good!\"