Forget and Bleed

A/N: Written for shandris for her birthday. The characters of L/R do not belong to me, no ownship is claimed or implied by my use of them here. Solely for entertainment, no profit is being made.


Forget and Bleed

Jack is drunk.

He does it well though. Only the faintest of slurs marrs his speech, words spoken with the same careful deliberation as always. His steps are careful; slow. His impeccable poise is drawn over the surface of the tangled emotions beneath. Not a ripple to eyes that aren’t as familiar as mine.

I see it though, following at a distance as he walks carefully down the dark street. He knows I’m here, but this is almost a game for us. When he’s ready he’ll come to me, if I get close before then his blue eyes will be ice. His determination a wall I can’t break.

Inhale. The orange glow at the end of my cigarette flares and I hear the crackle as the paper burns. In this silence it’s loud. Like the explosion from earlier, condensed into a tiny scale. Like the pain that burns in the man that walks alone in front of me.

Exhale. The smoke obscures the air between us and for a minute he’s hard to see. Five years, and I’d known nothing. He’d solved the puzzle like he’d expected it, ignoring my muttered calculations beside him. He’d nearly left me behind, looking startled as I jumped into the car and opening his mouth for a moment as if he’d object.

The smoke cleared and I saw that he’d stopped moving. He stared at the ground, one hand tightly clutched in the pale blond strands of hair that crowned his head. The bottle of whiskey in his other hand slid slowly free from his grip, amber liquid and shards oass ass glittering on the pavement beside his feet.

Motionless I waited. His shoulders hitched, and I heard the catch of his breathing as he struggled for control. He shuddered, a long shivering exhalation sliding between hips ips and into the darkness. His free hand lifted, stretching backward toward me, fingers revealing a delicate tremor in the dim light of a distant street lamp.

I flipped my cigarette out into the darkness as I made my way quickly to his side, my darker hand folding around his with a reassuring press. He turned toward me, head still lowered and turned to the side. A flash of silver reflected from the new cuff on his ear, and I had to close my eyes against the rising tide of jealousy in my chest.

“Take me home, Rowe.”

Cloud House. I led him through the door, his fingers creeping up the inside of my arm, hot against the chill the night had set into my skin. His touch was urgent, scrambling in search of a way to forget, a way to escape the sight of headlights drawing sparks of ruby from the blood that had pooled on the road.

I pushed him back against the door. My room, always my room for this. I brought him here so the scent of him would linger in my sheets, the shape of him leave a dent in the mattress. This way, I could pretend he was mine.

He was looking at me now, as my thigh slid between his legs and my head lowered, bringing my lips to hover just above his. I stared into his eyes as my tongue slicked over his bottom lip, catching the burn of whiskey and the dark flavor of tobacco that lingered there.

My hands glided up his sides and over his chest, slipping beneath the shoulders of his white jacket and pushing it free of his arms to fall in a heap on the floor. He surged forward, hands lifted to cup my face as he pressed his lips to mine. His tongue pushed into my mouth, rough and hot and frantic.

I broke away from him, stepping back and drawing my shirt over my head while his fingers tugged at the knot in his tie, leaving it dangling loose from his collar. The buttons down the front of the blue shirt were next. Jack’s fingers were clumsy, and I stepped forward, pulling the bottom of the shirt free from his slacks.

I worked upward quickly, the frantic urge that had gripped him earlier infecting me now. Our fingers met on the last button, and as it slipped free I closed my hand around his left wrist, drawing his arm upward and pinning it against the door at his back.

His head fell to lean against his arm, and my eyes lingered for a long moment on the exposed line of his throat. I pressed my lips to the fast throb of his pulse, inhaling the scent of his skin; tobacco, aftershave, alcohol, a faint hint of sweat.

My lips parted and I bit down, drawing a hiss of mingled pain and pleasure from Jack. My tongue stroked over the spot, soothing away the pain as my free hand slid beneath Jack’s shirt, fingers teasing his nipple. His back arched slightly, and his breath shuddered in his throat.

I growled, hard and aching and unable to wait any longer to have him in my bed, in me. I dropped his wrist, staring at the strip of flesh revealed by his open shirt. His skin was so white it practically glowed, my own looking dirty beside it. I dragged my fingertips roughly down his chest and stomach, leaving lines of redness behind. He gasped, blue eyes burning into me as I jerked his belt from its loops,asteastened his pants and pushed them to his ankles.

The blue bikini briefs matched the shirt to perfection, and the ghost of a smile flitted across my lips before my need again took over and I pulled them down with a haste that drew a wince of discomfort from Jack lea leaned forward, so close I could feel the heat of him against my cheek and the hair loose beside my face brushed his skin.

A soft pleading gasp broke from his throat, his hands sliding into my hair and closing tightly, making me flinch and close my eyes against the sudden sting. His grip loosened slightly, and I turned my head, tongue reaching to curl across the underside of his shaft and then dragged in a quick motion toward the tip.

I took a deep breath, exhaling over the dampness on his skin and he shuddered, hips thrusting forward so that the head of his cock bumped hot against my parted lips. My mouth opened and I slid my lips down the length of him, the thick salty taste of him exploding on my tongue.

My hand cupped his balls as my head bobbed between his legs. I marveled, as always, about the softness of his skin there, the weight in my hands. Suddenly his hand was on my cheek, and he was pulling away from me with a harsh gasp.

I looked up at him, licking the taste of him from my lips as he drew a deep breath, eyes closed and cheeks lightly flushed. I rested my hands on his hips, standing slowly and lowering my head to place nipping kisses on his collarbone. When his eyes again opened I released him and stepped back, watching him as I unfastened my pants and dropped them.

He stalked toward me and I retreated toward the bed, but he caught me just before I could reach it, hands closing around my upper arms as he jerked my body toward his. Our skin met, the burning heat of my erection pressed just above his, the friction as he moved making me shudder.

The hard pressure of his fingers vanished from my arms as he lifted his hands to cup my face, pulling me to meet his lips with my own. His tongue slid against mine, warm and rough. Behind the intensity was a tenderness that I didn\'t dare hope for, that I couldn\'t let myself believe.

He broke the kiss with a soft sigh, lips tracing a path up my jaw before he released me completely. He stepped back, blue eyes lingering over the length of my body. I sank down on the bed, flushing slightly under his gaze but raising my hands and beckoning him closer all the same.

When he drew closer to the bed I stretched out, inviting him to join me wiy hay hands and eyes and parted lips. He crawled into the bed and knelt between my splayed knees, drawing a path up my thighs with the tips of his fingers.

I moaned as he brushed close to my cock, just barely avoiding letting his skin touch mine. This was torture, I needed him panting above me, pressing inside me. I reached for his hips, pulling him forward so he tumbled on top of me, our bodies connected in one long hot line.

He knew what I needed, and the look in his eyes promised that my wait was over. His hand snaked beneath the pillows and he found the packet and tube that he was looking for. He rolled to one side, our legs still tangled and tore the packet open.

I sat up and took the condom from him, licking my lips as I carefully unrolled it down the length of his shaft. His eyes widened and he made a soft sound in his throat, cock twitching under my fingers. When I finished I drew a teasing circle around the base of his cock.

Jack growled, surging upward and pushing me roughly back down on the bed. His breath came in harsh pants as he quickly slicked his length with the lube, pressing himself between my thighs and stopping with an obvious effort.

“Rowe... Rowe,” he murmured, staring down at me before plunging forward and driving himself into me in a single hard thrust.

A raggeoan oan was torn from my throat as he set a quick rhythm, his hips snapping toward me and his flesh slapping against my own. One of my hands twisted in the sheet beneath me, the other grasping his arm and feeling the muscles tremble under my touch.

His arms folded, dropping his elbows to the bed and he slid one hand between us. His hand closed around me and I jerked, feeling my blood pound through my body in time to the strokes of his hand. He stopped and I whimpered in desperation, writhing as I felt him slowly draw himself out of my body.

He slid backwards and grasped my hips, flipping me over onto my chest and knees, my cheek pressed to the bed underneath me. His hand splayed wide across my back as he drove himself into me again. The other hand curled around me, and he timed his strokes to the thrusting of his hips.

I tossed my head, feeling the rasp of the sheets against my cheek as I tensed and moaned. His grip tightened and I spilled over the edge in a hot, sticky splash against my stomach. My body went limp, and his hands moved to grip my hips as he jerked over me.

His thrusts quickened and his hands spasmed on my hips. He was always quiet when he came, a long shuddering gasp slipping between his lips as he froze but for uncontrollable twitches of his hips. He collapsed against my back, sweat soaked skin clinging to mine.

I shifted and lowered myself to my side, feeling him slide out of me though he remained curled tight against my back. His arm snaked under mine and curved around my chest, his lips pressed against my shoulder.

He shifted away from me for an instant, and I heard the dull thump of the used condom hitting the bottom of the garbage can. I shivered as the chill air touched my damp skin, but he was quickly back in place, and after a moment his breath deepened as he neared sleep.

My hand rested lightly over his on my chest, my heartbeat slowing under our twined fingers. Just before I followed him into sleep he breathed a word against my back. My eyes closed against the flicker of pain that I felt.

I knew we wouldn\'t have forever, but making myself believe it was harder than I thought it would be. It was all too easy to forget the world outside this bed and pretend there was no need to bleed.