My Sweet Bed of Lies

My Sweet Bed of Lies

Written By: Fox

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT. Not even the song is mine. Song \"Bed of Lies\" by Matchbox Twenty.

Rating: NC-17 for past malexmale and het sexual mentions.

Pairing: RiffxCain

Notes: One-Shot. Lyrics are in *...*

This is from Cain’s point of view after his death. I’m supposing that upon his death Cain would know the truth behind everything. It’s basically Cain drawing his own conclusions on his relationship between himself and Riff.

VERY SPOILER-CENTRIC IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED READING THE MANGA.

Summary: Cain knew that he should have known the truth, but sometimes you can let yourself be fooled for the sake of your soul and your heart.

~*~

It’s so warm here. I wonder why. Perhaps I have made it into the gates of Hell at last and the fires are keeping me warm now.

It’s not that I’m unused to being warm. I was warm all the time at the manor. I had a warm bed, warm food, warm everything. I could never be cold what with everyone hovering around me and offering to bring me something or another to keep me warm. From my hat to my cloak even down to my socks and shoes.

But I was still cold inside.

The only one that ever warmed me on the inside, was Riff...

*No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there’ll be no rest for these tired eyes
I’m marking it down to learning
I am*

He would warm me with a smile, and sometimes in secret... he’d hold me. When prying eyes were far from me and him, he’d touch my cheek and I’d fall into his arms. He’d hold me and whisper to me, and he’d keep me warm.

Imagine how cold I was when he said to me that I’d have to care for myself from then on.

This was the man that knew everything about me. He ran my house, cared for Merry, and even cared for me, making love to me when it was dark and no one could have known.

And he said so coldly “Goodbye Earl of Poison.” as if there was nothing there. No love, no care. It was as if he’d never touched me.

*Don’t think that I can take another empty moment
Don’t think that I can fake another hollow smile
It’s not enough just to be sorry
Don’t think that I could take another talk about it*

Of course I knew I should have seen it coming.

There were the hints in his physical reactions to some of the poisons, the sudden stiffness he would have on odd occasions, and the sudden disappearances in the middle of the night. But I never once thought of anything like what the truth was.

To find out that the other him was so hellbent on my destruction, that he couldn’t find me as easily as my Riff could...

Of course I never showed my concern, my absolute devastation at my servant’s actions.

So I went about my daily life, relying heavily and blindly on the man that I was slowly coming to find in my life. Occasionally as a way to lash out at him and society I would invite a woman into my room and entertain myself between her legs and on her breasts like any other man, but in the end I would always repent to him as he laid me back in the sheets I had soiled.

Occasionally when I questioned his activities, he would look confused and apologize, saying he had no idea what I meant. Immediately I would forgive him, but in my heart I dismissed it all.

*Just like me you got needs
And they’re only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we’ve tendered away*

Of course all would be forgiven. And why not? He was my most loyal servant, and he always took care me with complete faith after.

He was my beautiful lover, and I was damned if I was just going to accuse him of a treachery that he was completely incapable of.

But my father being the wretched asshole that he was, completely deceived by the beauty of my treacherous mother and aunt Augusta, set his sights on my prized possession long before either of us knew the other existed.

He created Riff to be the most desirable and unbelievably innocent gem to have ever wandered that dark garden. He killed my bird that night on purpose, knowing that none would help me bury her, and knowing Riff would see the wretched thing I myself had become and pity me.

He knew I would covet this gem, and he handed him to me on the most beautiful bed of thorns I had ever seen. I clutched that gem close, and loved him like he was.

An untouched saint.

*No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there’ll be no rest for these tired eyes
I’m marking it down to learning
I am*

Of course Riff clung to me just as wildly, caring for me as if he were my parent at first, and then as a servant, slowly followed by lover.

I encouraged this of course, naturally flirting with him as I entrusted more and more of myself to his care. I allowed him to touch me without shame, and I would pose myself invitingly to his slow advances.

I told him his place immediately, demonstrating myself as the cunning brat that I was. He was my new pet bird, and he would always like in my gilded marble cage with me.

I knew he’d try to fly, his proverbial wings beating at the cage door, but I’ve learned that he knew the way out and held the key to his own freedom in that beautiful little beak of his.

*Don’t wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don’t wanna be somewhere where I just don’t belong
Where it’s not enough just be sorry*

When I saw him for the first time after his betrayal, when he said those cruel words denying love...

I should have seen it. My ‘Riff’ would never have said such a disgusting thing. His nature was anything but that hideous other being.

The story of the thunder stones was amusing, and my ear was sore for a while after I tore that earring out of my ear.

If he had asked on his knees, I don’t think I would have forgiven him.

*Don’t you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me
And I gave till it all went away
And we’ve only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we’ve made*

Of course I knew from the beginning of that hideously long chase after your form, Riff, to bring you back and free you myself I would have to shed my own blood. I just didn’t expect it to be after you had died.

I prepared everything in hopes of destroying you just as you destroyed me. I had all my servants replaced, the houses you had known burnt, and the last of my closest family and allies moved to our new safe haven.

I kept Michaela safe as a last ditch effort to find you, and Merry became her companion to the last despite her rude behavior to my ‘sister’.

*No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there’ll be no rest for these tired eyes
I’m marking it down to learning
I am*

Once Riff’s true colors were shown, I found myself incapable of sleep. I would look at the bed he and I shared on more than one occasion, and I would feel the bile and hurt rise. I cried more than slept, but even that was in secret.

After all, how could I have been called a man, an Earl no less, if Clehadol or Oscar have seen my tears?

I learned from you Riff. I learned that I knew everything from the beginning, and I learned that I loved you. You are my possession.

*I am all that I’ll ever be
When you - lay your hands
Over me but don’t go weak on me now
I know that it’s weak
But God help me I need this*

Cain-sama. Don’t think so bad of me. I never stopped loving you.

Of course just as I sink into this abysmal thinking I look up and into the beautiful blue eyes that have haunted me since I was young.

Riff.

I run into your arms like I did as a child as I did when we died together. Even though we’re stuck in this crumbling world I know.

You betrayed me once, my obscenely angelic Judas, but you will not do it again.

*I will not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there’ll be no rest for these tired eyes
I’m marking it down to learning
I’m marking it down to learning
’cause I am*

I wonder if Merry enjoyed her tea with us and Oscar?

Judith’s ring looks beautiful on her finger, ne Riff? I should thank Clehadol for retrieving it for her.

Hai, Cain-sama.

Riff... I...

I found you perfectly again, ne Cain-sama? I’ll always hold you and keep you warm in death.

~End.