Such Dreams

Notes: Takes place before recent manga developments. Many thanks to dreadnot for beta work.

Disclaimer: Hellsing and its characters belong to Kohta Hirano, not to me. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.


Such Dreams

Seras Victoria\'s eyes flew open in her coffin. She had gone to sleep just before the sun came up, and she was sure that had been a short time ago. Why was she awake already?

The mental pain hit her again. Someone was hurting, and urgently. Alucard had barely taught her any mind powers, so something unusual had to be happening for this to be so clear. She lay still for a moment. She could picture nothing, but there was still the sharp pain and an edge of sadness. It was a feeling she could relate to, that she had felt herself in a milder way. She was certain that this was another woman in trouble, and it could only be Integral.

Seras opened her coffin and headed out the door. She was certain Sir Hellsing was here in the mansion, probably in her room, but there were no alarms ringing or rushing soldiers. But this was far more than any normal inner emotion. The young vampire rushed up the stairs, encountering no one until she arrived in the hallway where Integral\'s room was located. She could still feel this mental presence, like a knife in her body would have felt when she was still human.

Walter stood there, speaking to two soldiers with a grave look on his face. Seras rushed to him, trying to stop herself from panicking. She blocked the feelings from her mind as much she could and tried to talk to him.

\"What\'s happening? I can feel it all the way down there… Is someone hurting her? Why aren\'t you doing anything?\"

Walter looked at her sadly. \"I thought you would sense this eventually. Someone is hurting her, but not from here. It\'s vampire mind control giving her pain. She called for me at first, but she won\'t let anyone near her. Alucard\'s been dispatched of course, but she insisted as few people as possible be notified.\"

\"Can Alucard handle this on his own?\" asked Seras.

Walter nodded. \"I\'m sure there\'s nothing he can\'t handle. And this is surely some vampire luring him out for a fight by hurting his master. Alucard could already sense his location when he left the manor and it\'s just a matter of time. But Integral…\" Walter closed his eyes for a moment. \"I\'ve never seen her like this. She\'s beyond being angry; she\'s barely speaking.\"

Seras opened her mind again. Integral was not only wracked with pain, she was emotionally drained. There was even an edge of fear, but it was clear she wouldn\'t let that be totally released even now in her own nearly uncontrollable mind.

The young vampire walked to Integral\'s doorway. A soldier stepped out of position toward her but Walter gave a harsh gesture and Seras walked past them and opened the door. She saw Integral sitting up on the bed with her knees drawn up, huddled into herself. She looked up and began to say \"No,\" but Seras shut the door behind her and walked over to the bed.

\"Sir Integral,\" she began gently, \"Please talk to me.\"

Integral didn\'t respond, just sat there in her pajamas on the edge of the bed, eyes shut tightly. Her shoulders began to shake almost as if she were crying, but Seras was certain she wasn\'t, even now.

Seras\'s natural sympathy and loyalty were now added to the urgent summons in her mind. She had to help somehow. She sat down on the bed and reached for Integral\'s shoulders, stroking them gently.

\"It will be over soon... \"

The words were clear in her mind, though Integral would never speak them.

\"Not soon enough.\"

Seras tentatively put an arm around her. She wasn\'t used to giving or receiving comfort. The last person to hold Seras had been Alucard, on the night he had turned her and carried her out of the church. The last time Seras herself had held anyone had been too long ago to remember. Perhaps it had been some boy at a dance.

Integral threw her head back in anguish and Seras sought more control over the situation. She ended up seated behind Integral, with her legs on either side of her, embracing her from behind.

\"It\'s all right,\" she said into her ear. \"Pretend it\'s only physical pain, like an ache in your head, you wouldn\'t let that beat you!\" But Integral was too far gone to listen.

Seras sat there, pressed up against her, experiencing this new intimacy. Under other circumstances she would have enjoyed this human warmth. She would have liked the feel of Integral\'s body through the pajamas and the feel of her long hair. It occurred to Seras that her thoughts were becoming very inappropriate for the situation. If circumstances were different, she wouldn\'t even be touching this knight.

Suddenly she felt the pain peak in her mind, and Integral whimpered and threw herself forward. Seras caught her to keep her from falling and pulled the other woman back against her chest. She felt something different from pain in her mind then, and at the same time she realized her hand was cupping Integral\'s breast.

Seras had a moment of confusion. She knew what was happening, and she couldn\'t even say she had never had thoughts of touching Integral in this way. But under better circumstances, not in a situation like this. Then she saw Integral\'s eyelids flutter and the other woman looked at her and mouthed the word \"yes.\" Seras pushed as many second thoughts as she could out of her mind. Slowly, she began to move her hand, feeling Integral\'s nipple through the thin fabric.

She could tell both from the relaxation of Integral\'s body and the echo of the pleasure in her own mind that this felt good to her. The pain was letting up a little as well. But she couldn\'t help asking, \"Is this all right?\"

Integral not only nodded, but reached for the buttons of her pajama top. With some trepidation, Seras unbuttoned it and began caressing her bare breast. There was a greater pleased response, and a greater lessening of the trauma. On a certain level, Seras herself couldn\'t help enjoying this, the feel and scent of Sir Integral\'s body and skin, and the sexual response of her own body. She felt no urge to take blood right now, only to continue this.

Integral was lying relaxed in her arms as she reached with other hand to touch her other nipple. Her breasts were beautiful; Seras wondered, as she had before, if Integral knew how amazing she was simply as a woman.

There was an urgency to be touched in Seras\'s mind now, which went along completely with her own desires. Comfort and sex were completely mixed up for her right now but at least she knew that Integral wanted more. She moved her right hand softly down Integral\'s belly.

She slipped her fingertips under the elastic of the pants, feeling Integral\'s curls. Seras had never touched another woman like this, and the feeling it gave her was intense and lovely. Integral made a pleased noise as Seras\'s hand moved further and touched her labia.

The pain was highly dulled now, and Integral was cuddled against her looking flushed. Seras began to touch her more intensely. Integral gave a small gasp, and Seras began to rub and stroke her. She moved her hand down, touching her all over, lingering and feeling her growing wetness. But she hesitated to enter her in any way, and moved her hand back up to find her clitoris and stimulate her.

All Seras could feel now was Integral\'s pleasure and the ache of her own body. She wished Integral could touch her as well, but for now she just kept moving her hand faster, wanting to see Integral smile, wanting to hear her cry out.

The other woman\'s breath was hoarse in her throat now, and she was arching her back, pushing back against the touch. She reached up to press Seras\'s other hand down onto her breast again. Seras pinched her nipple gently as she continued and intensified her touch. Finally she felt the sensations of pleasure in her mind peak. Integral shuddered against her and whisper something unintelligible as she climaxed.

Seras sat there for a moment, just holding her for a long time, waiting for a return of the pain, but she felt nothing but relaxation from Integral and her own arousal and tension. She wished so badly that had all happened in a completely different way. Integral\'s eyes were closed and she was close to sleep. Finally, reluctantly, she began to button the pajamas back up and lay her down on the bed.

Standing by the bed, it seemed sad and ironic to Seras that she had not even kissed Integral, and she leaned down then and kissed her mouth gently. She didn\'t know whether to reassure her or apologize, or even say something about the feelings she hadn\'t known she had. But it didn\'t even matter, Integral was asleep now.

Seras finally turned and left, shutting the door behind her quietly. The soldier looked at her without speaking. Walter was pacing the adjacent hallway, speaking into a cell phone. When she approached him, he nodded to her.

\"The vampire has been destroyed. It was a simple matter, once Alucard got there.\"

She nodded. \"I thought so. She\'s sleeping.\"

\"Good. I can\'t thank you enough for your help. None of us could do anything for her.\"

\"I\'m concerned she\'ll be angry at me, when she wakes up. I saw her when she was vulnerable.\" She wasn\'t even going to hint about the rest.

Walter sighed slightly. \"It\'s possible she will feel uncomfortable. She\'s very proud, you know. But whatever you did, I\'m sure she\'ll feel grateful to you.\"

Seras wondered for a moment if he had guessed something of what had happened, the way he seemed to know everything. But there was nothing of lewdness or disapproval in his voice or look.

\"I think I\'ll go back to bed. If she needs me again, she knows where I am.\"

\"Yes, Miss Seras. That\'s fine.\"

She walked down the hall, her mind full of Integral. She seldom dreamed since her change, but today she was certain she would.