Reduced Love

Chapter 1
Broken


Rain fell on the windshield, a steady flood of water blurring the view ahead. Shinichi and Ran were coming back from a ski trip in the mountains and Shinichi was having trouble keeping his eyes open as Ran slept in the back seat. A red pickup was tailing them, not five inches from the cars bumper and Schinichi could not help looking back every few seconds. Every time he looked back, the truck seemed to get closer. The radio turned to static, the sound filling the car and waking Ran up. At the same time, he turned and watched the truck ram into their car. They did not even have time to scream.

When he awoke, someone was holding his hand. The smell of fancy perfume drifted around him. He opened his eye but nothing changed in the darkness. He blinked and felt his eyelids slide over his eyes but no images or colors appeared. He turned his head to the one holding his hand, the one with the perfume.

“Mom?” his voice cracked, his throat was injured during the crash, causing his voice to sound broken.

“Shinichi, I-” His mothers voice was cut off by a frantic Shinichi.

“Mom, Mom! I can’t see!” Panic filled his tone; he watched the darkness and felt as if he would be consumed by it.

“I know sweetie, the doctors say that-” she stopped, squeezing the pale hand in hers. She watched her son on the white hospital bed, his eyes looking up but not seeing. “They say they don’t know when you will be able to see again.” She finished with a gentle tone, not wanting to frighten him. He groped for words, his mouth moving, but no sound coming out, he could not find words for the shock. “They say it is temporary but they are uncertain when it will go away. Maybe a month or two…” she trailed off, tears in the corners of her eyes. Shinichi’s hand slid from his mothers, she watched it fall to the bed, he looked helpless and she could not help him. It was then he remembered Ran.

“Is Ran alright?” She had been avoiding that question, not knowing how to tell him. “Is she alright Mom?” his tone became desperate, knowing the longer she didn’t answer the worse it was. He felt around for her hand and squeezed it, urging her to answer.

“Honey she didn’t make it.” She looked down, not wanting to see those empty eyes looking at her, she felt as if she had killed Ran her when she told him, “She didn’t make it to the hospital. Please Shinichi, don’t blame yourself.” Shinichi didn’t respond, he pulled his hand away for the second time and sat there. He watched the wall in front of him without even knowing what it looked like.

One Month Later
His eyes were still useless, and his heart soon followed suite. He hardly bothered to get out of bed anymore and his words were rare. He blamed himself for the accident; he had been the one driving. He stopped going to school and no longer help on cases. At first, his mother had come in every day to talk with him, but she always left less than she had been. He son was no better than dead, only his heartbeat betrayed him and when she looked at him part of her died with him. Her only son and he was gone to her.
Shinichi lay on top of the blankets, his eyes open and unmoving. He felt like crying but he could not find the strength to summon the tears. Somewhere inside of him he knew that it wasn’t his fault, but he want to say he was sorry. He wanted to talk to someone but the one he wanted to talk too was dead. It drove him mad every second he was in the darkness, in the silence. He grew lonelier as the days passed, he had tried to get up a few times but he didn’t want to see people. He feared he would snap.
Someone opened the door, the creak of un-oiled hinges his only warning. He knew it was his mother, and he hated it when she came in. he turned from her, facing what he thought was a wall. He heard her sign; it was disappointment, not in his condition but his lack of effort to make the best of things. She was like that, always wanting to see the unseen benefit, but to Shinichi there was only a cloudy sky that stretched over his heart.
“Shinichi, sweetie, there is someone here to see you” He assumed it was the doctors they had brought, since he wouldn’t move out of bed. She smoothed the skirt of her dress and left the room as another entered. He didn’t move, he knew he was being a jerk, but all he felt like doing was lying there.
“Hello Shinichi.” The voice was deep, but young. He felt a slight twinge of interest but not enough to speak. The boy the voice belonged to reached out, took Shinichi’s chin, and turned his head so he was looking up at him. Looking but not seeing. “So, is it true you can’t see now?” Suddenly he felt lips on his, they were soft and even though he didn’t know who this boy was they felt familiar. Like they belonged there. Then the lips were gone and he heard footsteps walking away and the squeak of the door. He was alone again in his darkness.
The next day he got out of bed for the first time in a month. His knees were weak and felt like he had been riding a bike for a long time. He had been wearing the same clothing for a week, he sniffed at his shirt and wrinkled his nose but didn’t want to attempt changing. He groped his way to his door and half crawled down the stairs to the kitchen. Then moment his mother saw him she rushed to his side, smothering him with her worries.

“Are you okay? Do you need help? Are you in pain?” He pushed her away, and she watched after her son, hurt evident on the face he couldn’t see. Feeling his way to the door he slammed outside and sat on the cold concrete steps. Shivering from the chill morning air that settled around him. As he was about to go back inside to venture at breakfast when the voice from yesterday returned.
“Cold, Shinichi?” He hadn’t heard footsteps and almost jumped from surprise, he had thought himself alone. Without having answered, he felt a heavy coat being put around his shoulders. The boy’s face was near his own, he could feel the warm breath on his skin. The voice whispered into his ear, sending a warm shudder down his back, “I asked if you were cold.” With hesitation, Shinichi nodded. As he did strong and steady arms wrapped around him. He stiffened, unsure how to respond. After a few minutes of this, he finally relaxed, not knowing what to say or do he just leaned on the boy. He felt for the first time since the accident like he didn’t have to be something for someone. He didn’t have to be happy, he didn’t have to see or talk, he didn’t have to cry or scream. All he had to do was be. With shock, he felt the boy pick him up in a bride style, causing him to make a small noise of surprise.
“I want to take you away from here Shinichi, do you want to go with me?” The voice was so smooth and coaxing, he didn’t know if he could say no if he wanted to. The way the boy asked the question made him feel safe. As if, he wanted to take care of him, but not pressure him to get better. So he nodded, feeling as if the darkness he saw might dim with this boy’s presence, he wasn’t sure what to make of the boy. But he felt a connection as if they already knew each other from before.
A few steps later and he was being put inside a car. He shook his head, he didn’t want to be in car, he was not ready for cars. He boy put a hand on Shinichi’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly, “don’t worry, I’m a good driver.” The drive was silent, Shinichi was holding onto seat that his knuckles were turning white. So the boy grabbed his hand without saying anything and held onto it for comfort. When they stopped, he picked up the stiff Shinichi and carried him to a house. It looked as if it had seen better days but of course, Shinichi couldn’t tell that. He placed the boy on the old couch and sat beside him. “You can stay here with me as long as you want, I’m the only one that lives here.”
Shinichi looked up toward the voice, trying to place where he had heard it before. “What is your name?”
“Ah, so you didn’t lose your voice as well as your sight, you had me worried there for a bit.” The boy seemed relieved.
Again, Shinichi asked the stranger for his name but the boy didn’t reply. “So you aren’t going to tell me?”
“Shinichi, I am who ever you want me to be.” Shinichi laughed, thinking it a joke.
“Really who are you?” The boy kept quiet, it seemed he didn’t want Shinichi to know about him, he looked at the ground and tapped his feet.
“How old are you then?”
“I am seventeen, like you are, I went to your high school but I dropped out. I work at a little shop on Main Street.” Shinichi made a face, and the boy smiled although it was lost to Shinichi. “Yeah I know,” the boy let out a laugh the sound soft, “Lets just say I am second place at life. I always will be.” He let out another one of his halfhearted laughs and reached a hand to touch Shinichi’s cheek. “Don’t worry though, I can take care of us.” Shinichi’s heart felt tight at the statement, the feeling was not painful, but strange. He had felt it only towards one other person and she was dead. He leaned forward toward a bit, not sure where the boy was or how tall he was. The boy bent down and captured Shinichi’s quivering lips with his own. He pulled the boy close to him, wanting to make him feel safe. Shinichi thought that the boy wanted something from him for staying at his house so he pulled his lips away and started to haphazardly take his shirt off. But the other boy stopped him and lifted his chin to look into Shinichi’s blind eyes, “Don’t” was the only word he said before buttoning Shinichi’s shirt back up and kissing his cheek. He then got up from the couch, and let his hand drift over Shinichi’s shoulder as he walked past him, leaving the blind boy feeling confused and small on the old dirty couch.