Bluesummers

Bluesummers

He had blue eyes.
The kind of eyes that could make you feel undignified when met in dispute.
The sort of eyes that one could get lost in if you stared into their calm depths.

I love those eyes. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to be pinned by His piercing eyes; clear as water, as unforgiving as steel. When they bore into me, a feeling of usefulness, of purpose, invades my senses.

I supply services, and nothing more... No real emotions and no real regrets, as I've already killed myself over and over to appease my Master. I have transcended Humanity this way... stripping thoughts of aggression, allowing only thoughts and actions to please Him.
Now that I have His guidance, I have learned the absolute truth and the extent of myself...

I shake my head of these thoughts just before a low murmur behind my eyes whispers of arrival as I sit. Such an odd courtesy, I think to myself, to forewarn your puppet of an impending engagement.

I tap a quiet rhythm, eyes lingering in the obscurity painted by shadows of my simple room. A stale concrete color accented only with a small bookshelf along with the furniture I occupy, and a simple bed. The smell of antiseptic is so faint, it's almost an accented fabrication drawn from the drab nature of my quarters. But such surroundings suite me quite well... reminding me of myself, and the world I am allowed to live in.

Legato Blue Summers...
A functional facility sufficient in size and equipped enough to accommodate only one person...
My Master...

The light click of metal from the steel door awakens me, and my musings are once again interrupted. My eyes slowly find the door and affix it with an acute interest. I don't even notice it when my hands dig into the leather of the chair I occupy until I hear a small groan from a knuckle attempting to vent it's new found stress.
I watch him enter, and for a brief moment I see that blue I've learned to crave and quickly revert my eyes. A simple mantra runs through my skull as he nears silently in the sterile room.

Please Him. Let Him give you your existence.

Yes...my existence. My mute pride found in being useful.

I look at his feet as he stands in front of me. He says nothing, for there is no need when the drill is so readily rehearsed. Hands find my temples and drag down my face as I let him dominate unguarded flesh. He sighs, a sound laced in revulsion as I look up high enough to see straining cloth between his thighs.
He is looking at me, waiting for eyes to meet, as my knuckles turn white and my nails bore into the chair's arms.

only for Him

Crushed under the agonizing pressure of his gaze, I allow my eyes meet blue, and they stare causing my breath to quicken. I see nothing but a neutral indifference as I look; yet I know He is consuming me.

A swift hand and a hollow noise makes my ears bleed for a moment as His hand meets my face, reddening the flesh and flaring a dull sting that sends throbbing pain out ward from the attack. I knew taking in the blue would result in such actions, but I do it every time regardless...a weak, pathetic indication of human weakness.

Hands meet my face again and those eyes continue to pierce me through. He leans closer, and I fantasize phantom warmth from a body so very close. Lips hover painfully, and His breath mingles with mine.

His hands drop to his sides, and he sits on the crisp starch white bed quietly wating...his hands tapping lightly on the metallic ring on a gloved hand as he watches.

Like a creature tamed from what now seems to be endless sessions of training, I start to undress by myself. I do it efficiently as I quietly hurry; a numb hollow feeling spreading further and further as layers of clothing shed to the sterile floor. He motions which long delicate digits, silent gestures for me to kneel in front of Him. I do as instructed...kneeling, as I wait patiently; So carefully rehearsed to perfection, as time slows itself agonizingly for His next action. I wait...humbled, already knowing His next three words hardly comprehended through the vertigo which are His eyes...

"You Are Nothing..."
He bends down, finding my ear where he growls and murmurs.
"...Without Me..."
My Master's hands are wandering again, find my face still hot from His slap. It lingers, almost as if he painfully recalls what had occurred...He shivers again.

"That's why you stay here...isn't it?"
He leans back...one hand moving to my shoulder gently, the other on lightly damaged skin; he stares back at me again, a small smile forming. A gentle hand tips my chin forcing me into those eyes again. I am naked here; He is merciful as I stare, becoming lost, although my objectives stay clear.

let Him have you...

"Is that the only reason you stay here?"
I nod, and the hand, once soft and placid awakens, clutching my hair with an iron grip. As he stands, I am forced to my shaking feet.

"Why are you lying?" A voice ripe with acidic emotion.

"I don't understand." a quite murmur welcomed with a violent slap.

"That is not an answer..."

I am silent...my lip split from he last attack and the bitter metallic taste of blood kisses my tongue that searches for what to say. Struck dumb, not knowing what should be said and done as I feel His breath quickening. The empty feeling rises as I try to push it away.

"Why do you please me, Legato?", a smile twisting into something mocking...something cruel. A finger finds my lip smearing blood across my cheek. A gentle mocking gesture as he gets close again...His smell invading my senses conducting my knees to grow weak.

"...I...I don't know..." His smirk growing wider when hot searing pain exploded in intense waves through my abdomen. I am blind; my vision bleached from agony.

A sharp knee connected with my unguarded stomach, winding and causing my already unstable knees to collapse; my arms cradling the pain in an attempt to make it stop. The emptiness in my chest replaced with the tart bite of His malice caused by my arrogance. Nothing now but the feeling of nausea following the waves of pain; that voice in my mind repeating what I suddenly need to hear.

This gives Him pleasure...

A rough hand and a sharp pull, and once again, I am caught back in His stare. Nakedness again, but this time, I can feel that sick strange cruelty radiating from Him every time he does this to me...
A harsh laugh gently came forth, as His grip is released and his hand continues to wander across my chest, caressing and careful as I force my arms to unfold to allow him further access, knowing he'd pry them away other wise. Lungs still trying to catch what his attacked denied as he continued his descent causing my loins to tighten and my skin to flush.

His hand stops where he had struck, the dull sting accented by the weight of his flat unmoving hand. I can no longer see the room around me, nor the slight ring caused by the blow to my bowels induced from his now gentle hands that stroke in small firm circles. This ritual of damaging and savoring the flesh after wards was only the beginning, as if in relishing the pain he inflicted he found some form of self-assurance justifying his acts. Almost as if some corner of his mind thought this to be horrendously wrong. Although, such a guess seems far off and forced, most likely a justification of what he does to me.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a whisper of what is the truth...he is trying to regain Himself in the revulsion of touching something so imperfect. Maybe fantasizing...denying that he feels desire to a creature so foul... dreaming he is else where...

Thinking of someone special to ignore his own personal defilement of being away and being forced to quench what he had lost in the only what he knew how, and to do that he must blame me, my race, for stealing away his Vash. Only then he can find solace in his fantasies; killing what took away his happiness.

Constructing the invisible wall protecting his dream from my tainted imperfections.

His lean body his breathing hard as he clutches me close to his body, his eyes tight, his body shaking. His groin digs into mid-back, but I ignore it, because soon, lightly forced blindness over takes me as I blanket myself with nothingness. I feel empty and void as I focus on his short uneasy breaths becoming faster and more labored between gritted teeth. I'm escaping this, because this has to be done.

"It's all your fault," A simple accusation burning acid in my unfeeling body. "You took him away from me."

give Him this...

A strong shove sends my massive form to the concrete floor, banging my joints that sends jolts of numbing pain trough my body, waking me from the numbed trance long enough to know that he is done shedding guilt, and ready to give me pain for my sin.

The sin of my own humanity.

He falls quickly to the floor, straddling my legs and his hands, face deformed in rage, slender hands find my throat, gripping it impossibly tight. A different numbness enters my body this time as the lack of blood makes my eyes blur and my head lightly spin. I can't hear his breath...I can't hear my choking...All I hear is the blood in my ears as my body tingles and tightens. Something different now in my unfocused eyes....a smile.

"WHY DO YOU PLEASE ME?!" A scream no louder that a whisper to me as I struggle with the question.

A blank....a total blank until a single truth surfaced causing a tear to suddenly fall from my emotionless face. At that, Knives let go allowing his finger to drift upward dragging through the wet, studying it lightly with a neutral smile that held neither amusement, nor malice.
He played a different game this time...Not one that revolved around pride, something he could no longer play with a creature so broken.

Whether it was the boredom of hurting some one dead or some unseen reasoning tangled within his madness; He attacked my reasoning, and I could not shut it off. But the bitterness of the truth still stung the back of my throat, as I began to rationalize my thoughts...

Why do I stay? Why do I allow this defilement when death from resistance would have saved my dignity by dieing?
And now...with no vanity or conceit left, why hadn't I taken my own life? Do I honestly feel that out of control?

"No...no no no...that's all wrong" I think as He stands, forcing me up with Him by my hair.

The gravity of the lesson he has taught me is too much, and it's been far too long since I've been able to cry....
So hard to take notice of silver splitting in two, peeling back, and revealing pale flesh; so difficult to hear the echo from the loud clanging sound behind the metallic weight of His shoulder pads hitting the ground as my hysteria takes a hold. My mind tries to think...and every realization comes to something that makes me feel sick as I come closer and closer to the answer.
More tears as the world around me renders into shapeless darkness in the wake of a maelstrom of emotions I had forgotten I had possession of. In this madness, I can no longer see, but I know He's smiling.

You want to please because...

"Why do you stay?" thick, and heavy are his words as a solid grip finds my bare shoulders.
My lips, with much effort, mouth legible words as I gasp through painful sobs I've not experienced in so long...

"....I want the pain...." I whisper, the heat of guilt burning the back of my neck, as I look towards the ground.

Nausea shrinks and swells, as I slowly recall what it is to be human.

***

Author's Notes:
It's been a while since I've written...and to be honest, I recently unearthed this, polished it up a bit, and decided to post it. I hope to do more chapters for this piece featuring naughter bits for the boys and girls...

Please review!