Special Delivery
Special Delivery
A/N: No, I have absolutely NO idea where this plot bunny came from. But it’s been annoying me for quite a while, so finally I decided to do something about it. Please forgive me. If you must blame someone, blame Katwingz, because it was at her insistence that I post this. I also didn't mean to re-up this, but I forgot the disclaimer. Oops.
Warnings: The first one will be obvious within the first three lines. I hope you read further than that. Also, shounen-ai. NOT PART OF NO RAIN.
Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun.
~Special Delivery~Wolfwood stared at Vash.“You’re what?” he asked, cigarette dangling from his slack jaw.
“Pregnant,” Vash replied, meeting the priest’s eyes somewhat reluctantly.
“But you’re a…and I’m…WHAT?” Wolfwood shook his head again, just to make sure there wasn’t something rattling around up there. He could’ve sworn Vash’d said he was…
“Pregnant.” There it was again. “I don’t really understand it myself, but a plant’s physiology enables them to alter their gender to allow for procreation. There are no males inside the bulbs, after all…”
“And it works in reverse, too?”
“Apparently. I didn’t even realize it until about fifteen minutes ago. I was saying ‘Good morning’ to Her,” he gestured in the general direction of the town’s plant, “and all of a sudden, she got all agitated, asking me when ‘it’ was due, and how long had I known, and why had I kept ‘it’ from her. And that’s when it hit me. So here I am.” Vash held up his hands in apology or resignation, Wolfwood couldn’t decide which.
“But how in hell is it going to get out?”
“C-section, I’m assuming. Although anything’s possible…”
“If you grow breasts I am so out of here.”
“I don’t think it’ll go that far,” Vash said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “She seemed to indicate that She could handle that part of it.”
“But how…I mean…” Wolfwood trailed off.
“It all has to do with energy transfers. For the first couple months, until the baby can ingest solid food…”
“No! I mean, how did this all happen in the first place?”
“Do you remember that one night, about a week ago?” Vash asked pointedly. Wolfwood squeezed his eyes shut.
“I try not to. And I’m not quite THAT stupid.”
“Well, I’m walking proof of the compatibility of Plant and human DNA. For that matter, so are you. And,” Vash looked down, “so is she.”
“She?” Wolfwood had some kind of insane urge to jump off a cliff. Vash nodded.
“We’re going to have a daughter.”
+ * + * +He sat up in bed, breathing hard. That had been the weirdest dream he’d ever had, and that was saying something. At least it hadn’t been the usual blood and gunsmoke fare, but it was disturbing nonetheless. For God’s sake, he’d been dreaming about having a baby with the Typhoon of all people.Wolfwood looked over at the man sleeping next to him. His hair was sticking up at odd angles from sleeping. He’d spend an hour or more shellacking it into place before they left town. He bent over Midvalley and gifted the musician with a light kiss on the cheek before climbing out of bed and into the bathroom. He thought to himself, +At least I wasn’t the one that was pregnant. That would have been a real nightmare.+