Collide
Collide
xmlns=\"http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40\">
By:
belongs to Nanae Chrono,
and I gain no profit through this.
normal\'>“And I don’t want
the world to see me,
understand.
normal\'>When everything’s
meant to be broken,
normal\'>I just want you to
know who I am.”
Dolls; Iris
Verdana\'>"Susumu."font-family:Verdana\'> Hijikata’s voice, edged
uncharacteristically with uncertainty stops Susumu short as he made his way
back from her empty quarters. All she had
left behind was the faint scent of lilies.
"Yes?"
He doesn’t turn around because he isn’t sure if he is strong enough to look
anymore.
"I\'ll
see you in my quarters." Hijikata\'s voice is now
steady, like his footsteps as he left. Susumu closes his eyes, a dull weight on
his chest. Once again, he had let her down.
He slides
the door open carefully and finds Hijikata pacing
around the room, pipe clutched tight in his hands and his eyes slit. It
surprises Susumu but he slides the door back in place and stands waiting.
continues to pace. Finally he stops, his voice menacing, "We\'re taking
them down tomorrow. Souji\'s team will be
deployed."
Susumu
nods, suppressing the welling bitterness, "I will take my leave
then." It will end this way after all.
"You\'re
going with them." Hijiakata exhales, along with
a stream of smoke from his drawl at the pipe.
Susumu
stares, confused, uncertain if he had heard correct. Avoiding his questioning glaze,
Hijikata rambled on. "We\'ll set off before the
day breaks tomorrow to catch them unguarded.
“
“They’ll
be surrounded and we can catch them all in a loop. They will not get away,
those fools, underestimating the --"
Verdana\'>"Hijikata san."
There was
a moment silence and Hijikata turns to look him
straight in the eyes, his voice thick, "I\'m sorry Susumu."
Susumu
blinks in surprise, a hand coming to absently brush away the hair that had
fallen across his face. His voice wavers and he smiles self mockingly, "It
was my fault. I couldn\'t do anything for her."
Strong
arms reached for him then, and Susumu was bewildered to be pulled into a wide
chest, bodies crushed together. Hijikata hold was so
tight that it bruised, but the pain was welcoming. It took away some of that
numbing ache in his heart and Susumu returns it with equal force, afraid that
if he let go, he would be lost.
Verdana\'>Hijikata
backs them both to a wall and supporting their weight on it. His hold on the
younger man never loosening as Susumu clung onto him, body shaking lightly from
self control. They embraced each other in silence and he traces comforting
patterns across the slim back, and smoothens down stray hairs.
When
Susumu finally lifts his head away from the crook of Hijikata’s
neck, the man strokes his face softly, and presses a kiss to his forehead,
before following the path his fingers created. The kiss was hot and slow when
their lips finally meet and Hijikata slides them down
to the floor, his back against by the wall with Susumu sprawled across his lap.
It is not
the first time they share a stolen moment of pleasure together, though not
often and they were always discreet. He remembers their first, it was when he
had decided to send Susumu undercover and was given a preview of
transformation of Osei to Susumu.
Curious,
to remove the light layer of makeup. First was the dark liquid on his long
lashes, next was the shadow of pink powder on his eyes and then yielding away
the light powder on his face with gentle swipes of a damp cloth.
Verdana\'>Hijikata
was found it strangely erotic that the carefully applied colours
fell apart to reveal smooth glowing skin, and those dark brown eyes narrowed in
concentration as he dabbed carefully at the gloss on his lips, turning them
lush. ‘Like the colour
of ripe plums’ his brain commented helpfully and he had to agree. When the
carefully bounded hair came tumbling down, falling
wildly into the elegant curve of his neck, Hijikata
saw some hope for his haikus.
Finally
raising his eyes from the mirror to meet that of his audience, Susumu was
greeted with lust. It caught him off guard that the look remained unwavering
even after being discovered. He swallowed, nearly forgetting his mask of
indifference. He had been propositioned before, by men and women, but it was
usually just suggestive smiles or sneaky peeks, never were they this honest.
The
stillness dragged on and Susumu knew it was his call to make.
Nonetheless, Susumu obeys every word, but this time there was no order. He
could pretend nothing had matter and continue calmly with his routine, or he
could touch the man and have his touch in return. Susumu knows what lust is, it
is an emotion that is everything but love. Knows what it feels like, but like
the rest of his emotions, it is buried somewhere deep to be forgotten.
He doesn\'t
know how to handle this, and silently asks for an order, and he receives none.
He tries again, some desperation seeping through this time. He sees
choice and he knows what Hijikata is thinking.
no promises, no emotional attachments, to be kept secret, that nothing is to
change and the topic of Okita is off limits. He
shows his master that he understands, and that he accepts whatever the order
is. He sees Hijikata hesitating, and he feels
something inside him stir, a bittersweet sort of ache.
The small
flicker of emotion in those usually guarded brown eyes made his decision and
giving him the space to flinch, but he doesn\'t, even when their lips are almost
touching, breaths washing across each other faces. Susumu\'s glaze is still as
obedient and it annoys him, he wants Susumu to want this as much as he does.
Grabbing Susumu by the back his neck, he pressed their lips violently together.
Susumu is
stunned, everything feels foreign, the scrapping of lips, tiny sharp nips and
the ruthless exploration of his mouth. It left him breathless and exhilarated.
He feels experienced fingers pull apart his obi to let the layers of silk slip
his shoulders. It took him a week to learn how to put on the kimono and it took
Hijikata five seconds to dismantle the entire outfit.
Verdana\'>Hijikata
finds that even in pleasure, Susumu was quiet, his pants were soft and gasps
stifled as Hijikata teased him mercilessly, tracing
feathery touches across harden nipples. He nudged long slim legs open to stroke
Susumu\'s growing need and grinned wickedly when those dark brown eyes dilate in
pleasure, desire burning bright and body thrusting instinctively into
There was
a slight protest from Susumu when Hijikata stops to
discard their clothing to bring their bared bodies flushed against each other.
"What do you want Susumu?" Hijikata
whispers into his ears before biting the soft skin and grinds hard into the
body beneath him.
"I…
don\'t know." Susumu pants, hands gripping the sides of Hijikata\'s
arm with such force that it forms indents. It wasn\'t an answer that
tries to buckle up, but the hands on his hips held him down, and he groans
frustrated, "You’re the first." Show
me how.
Susumu
learns fast, Hijikata notes as Susumu straddles his
lap, straining forward to kiss him harder, asking for more,
needing more of this madness and Hijikata gives.
Calloused fingers slipping through layers of clothes, skirting across bare skin
stopping at places where he knows will intensify the pleasure.
He
offering the control to Susumu after he has prepared the young man enough to
make sure he doesn’t suffer, he sits back to watch the man impale himself on
him with a sharp hiss, and Hijikata shudders at the
warm heat engulfing him. Susumu arches as they rock, head lolling back and
vibrations as Susumu moans low.
When the
ardency breaks them both, Susumu coils tight against him, taking
other, breaths coming in hard pants, surrounded by a languid haze.
Verdana\'>Hijikata’sVerdana\'> eyes are closed and he feels Susumu reaching out to brush away the
damp hair clinging on his face. He kisses those fingers and pull
the man into another fierce hug. He realizes suddenly that he needed this
comfort as much as Susumu needed it and he wishes that he could change things.
It was stupid, he was a realistic man, and he knew that decisions made can
never altered, but he finds himself wishing for it anyway.
12 Oct 05
---
Thank you
for reading! Comments are gladly appreciated! :)