The Thin Line

Disclaimer: If Kougaiji were mine, he’d be chained to my bed, naked, “for as long as we both shall live”. As far as I can see, he’s not there, thus… sadly, no, he and the rest of the Saiyuki cast do not belong to me. They are from the fertile mind of Minekura Kazuya. I have no excuse for the premise of this story other than I’ve been in a REALLY weird mood lately. (Must be all of the Gackt I’ve been listening to!) Enjoy!

Oh… and thanks to everyone who has left comments for me regarding my stories! You guys are so awesome I can barely find the words! Thank you so much!

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“Don’t make me do this,” Dokugakuji pleaded, “Please, Kou.”

His adversary only circled around him in the swift, stealthy movements of a predator after prey. Long crimson hair whipped around the lithe body as an icy breeze blew through the dank, cavernous room. A heartbeat after assessing their situation, the stalking man pounced; only to be trapped in the strong arms of his friend and protector.

“Please, Kou,” Dokugakuji begged, “Not like this.”

Burning crimson eyes flashed daggers at him as the smaller man snarled viciously, his arms and legs flailing, striking out at anything he could touch.

The larger man hung his head in resignation while trying to control the flying limbs. “If this is how you want it…” he stated, flatly, grabbing the smaller man by the wrists, ignoring his struggles. “Just remember, I was the one against it. I didn’t want it to be this way. I didn’t want to do this.” Shoving the smaller man backwards, he pushed the other’s body into the wall behind him, wrestling the wrists above his head, where metal shackles hung. “Now you want to fight?” he mused, shaking his head as he fastened the clamps around the other man’s wrists, snapping them shut with a clang.

“Why, Kou? Why here? Your chambers… my chambers… anywhere would be better than here. Why did you insist on coming here?” Dokugakuji asked, both hands pressing against the smaller man’s chest as he nervously glanced around the room at the assortment of nefarious devices scattered about. “This is a place of pain, not pleasure.”

The rebellious body stilled, hunching in on itself. “I need pain,” came the reply, in a voice so low, Dokugakuji had to strain to hear it.

“Why, Kou?”

The head lifted, red hair parting enough for Dokugakuji to catch a glimpse of his leader’s tortured expression. “I need pain to remind me that I’m alive.”

“Kou… there are so many other things that can do that. Pain is not the only way to know you’re alive…”

“It is for me… “

Dokugakuji was stunned. “What about all those other times? Pleasure can make you feel alive… happiness, satisfaction, they all can. Has what we’ve done not been enough? Have I not…?”

“Don’t…,“ the raspy voice cut him off. “It’s not you. You… are amazing. What we have had has been… amazing.”

“Amazing, but apparently not enough.” Dokugakuji spat, vehemently. As his ire rose, he stepped back from the shackled form of his companion. Closing his eyes, he tried to calm himself. “Are you doing this on purpose, Kou? Are you trying to make me angry so that I will hurt you? It won’t work, you know. I won’t do it.”

“You have to.”

“I refuse.”

“I order you to.”

Dokugakuji’s head snapped up, angrily. “Damn you! Get over yourself,” he spat. “It’s just us here!”

“You have to…”

“No, I don’t! We are not on a mission here. You can’t just give me an ‘imperial edict’ and expect me to blindly obey. Just because you choose to spend your time in Gyokumen Kyoshu’s torture chamber today doesn’t mean I have to be your Inquisitioner.”

The smaller man leapt at him, teeth bared like a feral beast. Only the binding attaching his wrists to the chamber wall kept him from reaching the taller man.

“Kou! Stop!”

“I… NEED… THIS!”

The raw emotion blazing in Kougaiji’s eyes caught Dokugakuji by surprise. With strong hands pinning the smaller body to the wall, Dokugakuji stepped closer, close enough to feel the waves of heat rising from the other man. A leg wormed its way between his, rubbing against him. Against his wishes, he could feel the desire stirring in his pants. Traitorous body…

Kougaiji’s head fell forward, resting against the broad expanse of Dokugakuji’s chest. “Please…”

Taking the tip of one ear between his teeth, Dokugakuji bit down, gently, eliciting a heady moan as the small body sagged against him.

“Yes…” Kougaiji hissed. “Give me pain.”

Grabbing one shoulder, Dokugakuji turned the other man away from him, shoving him roughly into the solid plane of the wall. “Pain, Kou? Of everything you could choose to feel… why pain? Haven’t you had enough?”

Kougaiji shook his head, the long curtain of red swaying from side to side. “Never enough,” he murmured.

“Really?” Grasping the collar of the smaller man’s coat, Dokugakuji tore it from Kougaiji’s body in one swift yank, the material shredding as though it were merely paper. With that done, he spun Kougaiji around to face him again. The finely muscled chest had been bare beneath the material, now heaving as Kougaiji gasped for breath. Gripping the smaller man’s chin with a single hand, Dokugakuji sharply wrenched Kougaiji’s head to the side, biting and sucking at the smaller man’s throat until the tanned skin shone red from the abuse. Roughly twisting Kougaiji’s head in the opposite direction, Dokugakuji repeated the process on the other side of his neck as the youkai prince moaned. Bruises began forming the instant Dokugakuji drew away, mottled blue-black patches peppered across the bronzed skin.

“Is this what you want, Kou?” he asked, not expecting to receive any answer.

Another moan was the best Kougaiji could offer. Closing his eyes, he turned away; his palms and forehead resting against the wall as he readied himself for the onslaught.

“No? Then how ‘bout this?” The smaller man’s pants were ripped from his body in the same manner as his jacket had been, before he could even think to protest. Not that he planned to. A pair of strong hands kneaded the freshly exposed globes of flesh, pushing and pulling at them, squeezing painfully. Each tug upward drew Kougaiji to the tips of his toes. “Is THIS what you want?” Dokugakuji hissed in his ear, the breath of Kougaiji’s protector hot on his neck.

“Ngh,” was his only response.

“Fine.” Dokugakuji moved away, disappearing for a brief moment as Kougaiji heard the clink of glass against the stone floor. Suddenly, rough hands pried the rounded globes of his rear apart, nails scratching against the twitching opening as a cold, viscous liquid was poured over it. Kougaiji’s hips strained backward, begging to be taken.

A calloused finger tested his entry, pushing at the puckered flesh until it loosened enough for the tip of the digit to slide in. Maintaining his pressure, Dokugakuji pushed until his entire finger was encased within Kougaiji’s body. Without waiting for Kougaiji to adjust to this intrusion, he turned the finger, grinding it in before pulling it back out, then shoving it back in again.

With his breath coming in spasmodic gasps, Kougaiji rocked back against Dokugakuji’s hand, silently begging for more. Unable to deny his friend anything, Dokugakuji placed a second finger alongside the first, maneuvering the two through Kougaiji’s taut channel, angling them to brush against the nerve cluster that made the smaller man cry out.

“Is THIS what you want?”

Kougaiji bit his lower lip, concentrating on the shockwaves radiating through his body.

“IS IT?” Dokugakuji demanded, slapping a rounded globe with the open palm of his other hand.

The smaller man jumped at the strike, a reddening hand-print already gracing the previously unblemished flesh. “More,” he requested.

“More? Well then…” A third finger was added, prying its way in to join the first two.

“Aah,” Kougaiji moaned, the walls of his channel gripping the fingers tightly as Dokugakuji pulled them out, then thrust them back in. Curling them within Kougaiji’s body, Dokugakuji sought out previously undiscovered erogenous zones, relishing the whimpers he wrung from his usually hardy and stoic leader.

Kougaiji’s stance widened, his legs sliding further apart to accommodate Dokugakuji’s explorations and his subsequent responses.

“Is THIS what you’re asking for?” Dokugakuji demanded, shoving his fingers brutally into the smaller man’s body and making Kougaiji cry out.

The smaller man’s hips ground into Dokugakuji’s hand, the three fingers sliding in and out repetitively, driving him mad. Then, as quickly as they had entered him, the fingers were yanked out, earning Dokugakuji a perturbed whine.

“Not enough? Well then, let’s see what else we have here?” Reaching across the table next to him, Dokugakuji picked up an object that seemed to pique his curiosity, turning it in his hands as though examining it thoroughly. It was solid, cylindrical; wrapping his fingers around it, he measured its girth. He didn’t know what it was or what it had been used for originally, and he didn’t WANT to know. But for right now… it was perfect… it would serve his purposes. “Perhaps you would prefer something different,” he growled, sarcastically.

Once again retrieving the bottle of oil they normally used, Dokugakuji poured it liberally on the item he held. When it was coated, he pressed one end of it to Kougaiji’s entrance, listening to the low moans that broke from the smaller man’s throat. A steady rotation of the improvised shaft stretched the puckered entry wide enough for the foreign object to slip past the tight ring of muscle. As Kougaiji’s hips pushed back, Dokugakuji shoved the tool into his body as far as it would go. The smaller man screamed as the artificial hardness was rammed home, filling him, obliging his channel to accept it with no actual preparation.

“Is THIS what you wanted?” Dokugakuji snarled, jerking the instrument out only to slam it back in again.

Kougaiji’s legs began to tremble, his breath coming in sobs and his body sliding down the wall until the only thing keeping him from falling to the floor was the chains attached to his wrists.

“Tell me, Kou… is THIS it? Is THIS the pain you wanted? Is this REALLY the only way you can tell you’re alive?”

The rigid pole battered his insides, its rough-hewn surface scraping against the walls of his channel and raking over the bundle of nerves that were shattering him. His body jerked uncontrollably as Dokugakuji repeatedly shoved the stiff intruder into him, carving a path along his inner walls. Kougaiji’s world spun off its axis as the explosions in his brain intensified.

That the smaller man was actually taking pleasure in this act of degradation angered Dokugakuji more than he wanted to admit, but he had already gone too far to stop. Grabbing a fistful of Kougaiji’s hair, he yanked the smaller man’s head back as he rammed the shaft as fully into Kougaiji’s body as he could manage. Venom dripped from every word as he brought the other man to his peak, shouting, ”IS… THIS… WHAT… YOU… WANTED?” each word accented by a violent thrust.

“YES!” Kougaiji screamed as white fluid arced from his body to splatter against the wall in front of him. “Yes,” he cried, rocking back to meet Dokugakuji’s punishing strokes, his body still hungry for more.

“Really?” the larger man mused, ripping the false shaft from Kougaiji’s seizing channel without warning and tossing it to the floor with a clatter.

“Yes,” Kougaiji gasped, hoarsely, his body shuddering violently through his aftermath, as threads of white continued to pulse from him. Unwilling to wait any longer, Dokugakuji wasted no time in pulling his own heated member from his pants and positioning himself at the smaller man’s reddened and gaping entrance.

“Yes? Really? You would consider THAT better than… THIS?” With that final word, Dokugakuji forced himself into his leader’s body, his shaft driving even deeper into Kougaiji than the fake one had, sending a new string of tremors blazing through the already sensitized form.

“AAH,” Kougaiji screamed, his entire body jerking violently from the shock before going limp.

Vehemently grasping the smaller man’s hips, Dokugakuji kept pounding into him, driving Kougaiji forward until his entire body was pressed flat against the wall. “THIS isn’t good enough? You would prefer THAT?”

“Ungh,” was the only response he received, his companion too overwhelmed to answer coherently.

The head of Dokugakuji’s shaft scoured over Kougaiji’s nerve cluster, causing another scream to erupt from the smaller man. Every thrust from the larger man scraped the smaller body against the wall in front of him, scrubbing the trails of white fluid into smeared patterns against the now tender skin. There would be bruises, later, as well as some cuts, as evidenced by the trails of blood winding their way down the assaulted body.

As Dokugakuji continued to thrust into him, Kougaiji finally gave in to the waves of pleasure battering him. He stilled the frantic jouncing of his hips, allowing Dokugakuji’s steady pace to determine the course of their movements.

Sensing the change in the smaller man’s demeanor, Dokugakuji reached up and snapped the metal cuffs open, allowing Kougaiji’s hands to fall free. Before the smaller man could crumple to the floor, Dokugakuji drew back, strong hands spinning Kougaiji around until his back was pressed against the wall. Picking the smaller man up as though he were as light as a child, the larger man thrust back into the shuddering body, while Kougaiji’s legs wound behind Dokugakuji’s thighs.

“Tell me you feel nothing,” Dokugakuji insisted.

No answer.

Several hard thrusts… “Tell me you feel nothing,” he repeated, more adamant this time.

The head tilted upward, a shower of red hair falling away to reveal unfocused crimson eyes glazed over in lust, as the mouth fell open in a wordless response.

“Ungh… ungh…” Dokugakuji thrust harder, each impact of his hips against Kougaiji’s body forcing small grunts from each of them.

“Tell me, Kou.” A harsh thrust followed.

The lips moved but still no sound emerged.

“Tell me what we’ve done has meant nothing to you.” Another harsh thrust.

A small moan issued from the lips.

“Tell me this is meaningless.” The thrust that accompanied this question battered the nerve bundle, causing the body in his arms to arch forward with a pained groan, contouring against him more completely.

The angry member within Kougaiji was splitting his insides, tormenting him from the inside out. All he could do was hang on as Dokugakuji possessed complete control of their fates.

“Tell me you’ve derived no pleasure from any of it.”

Struggling against the sensations teeming around him, the youkai prince stubbornly shook his head.

Dokugakuji saw Kougaiji’s answer and it enraged him even further. “Liar!” he hissed in the smaller man’s ear, redoubling his ferocious pounding until it seemed his shaft might possibly emerge from Kougaiji’s throat.

The end was near, they both could sense it. With a snarl Dokugakuji’s head fell forward, his teeth piercing into the flesh of Kougaiji’s shoulder, as the smaller man jolted in his arms. Clawed hands rose, gripping Dokugakuji’s forearms tightly, blood welling under the long nails.

“Do you feel it?” Dokugakuji growled.

“Ngh,” the smaller man responded.

“Words, damn you. I want to hear you say it.” Dokugakuji was hammering into the smaller man so fiercely that his hips were a blur. “Do you feel it?” he repeated, angrily.

“Yes,” came the strangled response.

“What?”

“YES!” Kougaiji cried, unable to stave off the truth any longer.

“And WHAT do you feel?”

Kougaiji clung to the Dokugakuji in desperation as his climax overtook him, his body twisting and jolting as more threads of white shot out between their straining bodies. “Alive,” was the whispered answer.

“WHAT?”

“ALIVE!” the smaller man shouted as Dokugakuji exploded within him, coating Kougaiji’s insides with his own milky offering. He shuddered against the smaller man’s sweat-soaked body, the weight of his larger frame once again pinning the smaller man to the wall. Kougaiji fell against him, limply, all control over his limbs swept away in the force of his climax.

It appeared that neither man had won this argument.

Kougaiji winced as every fiber of his being sang out in pain. It hurt to move… it hurt to breathe… it hurt to THINK.

In his zeal to prove his friend wrong, Dokugakuji’s furious efforts to demonstrate that pleasure was just as powerful had somehow backfired. Ultimately, he had actually given Kougaiji exactly what he’d wanted…

They were both covered with cuts and bruises, angry welts and smeared blood. Then again, they were both sated as evidenced by the heaving and shuddering bodies now crumpled into a tangled heap on the floor and the crusting trails of white on and around them.

Hmm… maybe they’d both won, after all.

It’s a thin line between pleasure and pain… and somehow, given an account of this day, that line had just been irretrievably blurred.


~Owari~