One More Mission Songfic

Author’s Notes: All Weiss Kreutz stuff/characters are not owned by me and all rights apply to the lucky bastards who do own them. I make absolutely nothing off this except gratification of my own sick and twisted desires.

The song One More Mission is by the band Syrian and all rights apply to them. If anybody wants to hear it (‘cause its fan-fricken-tastic) lemme know and I can send the mp3 file to you.


One More Mission Songfic


I found it’s vital; always on the air.
This is what I care for; I’ve got to get there.
There’s no other way to get myself together;
Each and every day I’m feeling better.
Sometimes I feel lonesome.
I don’t really care.
One more mission….

What I did now served a purpose. It was a thing of vital importance. I believed that. I had to believe that. The need to exact revenge on Takatori and others like him for what he had done to my family; to Aya-chan and less importantly, to me; was a mantra always whispered on the air.

Revenge and brutal justice.

This is what I cared for. Aside from ensuring that Aya-chan would always be looked after; it was all that mattered to me. I needed to retreat to the cold, unemotional place in my head that allowed me to carry out the bloody acts that would keep her and others like her safe from the scum like Takatori. There was no other way to get and keep my head together. If I let myself dwell on the murder I committed on an almost nightly basis, I would loose my mind and be of no use to anyone. But each and every day that I eliminated the evil that walked the streets, I’d feel better about what had become a necessity for me to do.

Sometimes I feel lonesome from this forced solitude. I know my team-mates worry about me and the way I keep myself apart from them. I’d like to be closer to them. I want to be closer to one of them in particular. I can’t let myself though. He has his own demons to carry around. I know he’d try and help me shoulder my burden. He’s hinted at it often enough. I can’t let him do that for me.

I’m not worth it.

I don’t really care if I end up going to hell for the things I have done in the name of this rough justice. It has never mattered what happens to me. So I accept one more mission in the hopes that I can balance the scales of justice so no more innocents suffer. Maybe I won’t feel so dead inside after one more mission….

Have to tell you people; it will blow your mind.
Out of space is the one; emptiness behind.
Sliding into soundless motion; I hold my breath.
Will I see the earth again?
I’m facing my death.
I’m a crazy person.
I don’t really care.
One more mission….

I have to tell you people; and it will completely blow your minds; I’ve come to enjoy what I do and take pride in the swift death I deal. Not in that psychotic way that Farfarello seems to, but in an ‘I have a purpose to my life’ kind of way. That’s probably a scant few feet away from psychosis, but I’ve learned live with it.

The target is completely unaware that he is about to draw his last breath. Out of space with only emptiness behind me; I approach. I slide into soundless, perfect motion and I hold my breath before exhaling softly as my blade slips between the third and fourth ribs and pierces his heart. He opens his mouth in a silent scream, dead from a shredded heart before sinking to the floor. Will scum like him see the earth again in his next life? I sincerely hope not.

I pull my sword free and wipe the blood off on the targets’ jacket. It was then that I heard the stealthy foot step behind me. I whirl and knew I was facing my death when the hired goon steps into the open doorway and points the gun at me. I’ve come to realize in moments like this that I’m a crazy person and I don’t really care if I live or die.

I charge the goon, catching him off guard. He never has the chance to yell a warning. He falls to the floor at the feet of the man who had hired him with his head nearly decapitated. I had been faster and so I would live for one more mission….

No hope, I’m afraid.
I know I can’t be saved.
No peace in my mind; ‘till I find what’s behind,
Just one more mission….

I have no hope, I’m afraid; of ever being able to turn from this path I’ve set myself on. I know I can’t be saved and I’m not asking for salvation. There’s no peace in my mind and there won’t be until I can find some kind of redemption behind just one more mission….

Life should be my prison; wandering the air.
Don’t know which dimension; I’ve never been there.
Empty, lonely endless days is all in my veins.
Will I find the passage back or will I be razed?
Feels like I’m a looser.
I don’t really care.
One more mission….

For the things I’ve done, life should be my prison. I’m left alone, as it should be; wandering the air. Self-imposed solitude to protect others from the person I’ve become. I don’t know what dimension I belong in anymore but I know I’ve never been there. I want to belong somewhere and with someone but I’m afraid to try and face what I’ve turned into. Empty, lonely endless days is all in my veins. If I allowed myself to feel, allowed the ones who want to be close to get close, I could change that. Instead, fear of letting myself care for people holds me locked in the cycle of motion I’ve set myself on.

Will I find the passage back?

Not alone, I can’t. I know this but I don’t want to drag anyone down with me. I don’t want to care about someone again only to have them snatched from me like my family was.

Or will I be razed?

I’ll suffer for my sins with the blood of many on my hands; but I won’t pull those who only want to help me down into my personal hell. It feels like no matter what I do, I come up the loser. But I don’t really care. I’ve gone dead inside and only live for one more mission….

No hope, I’m afraid.
I know I won’t be saved.
No peace in my mind; ‘till I find what’s behind,
Just one more mission….
Just one more mission….
One more mission….
Just one more mission….

There is no hope for me I’m afraid. I know I won’t be saved. Who would bother to save the already damned? There is someone who would try but I can’t let him. I can’t let him waste his concern and yes, even affection on one such as me. I don’t deserve it. There’ll be no peace for me and no rest for the wicked. I need to find what’s behind all the killing and evil I’ve done in the name of balancing the scales of justice and give myself just one more mission.

Just one more mission and maybe that will be enough for me to atone for being alive and healthy and unscathed by the death and destruction that my family was subjected to.

Maybe one more mission will be all I’ll get to do. I’m becoming reckless as my life matters less and less to me every day. Would the world really miss me if I no longer walked it? Aside from Aya-chan caught in her endless sleep, is there anyone who would even care that I was gone? Is there anyone whose heart would ache when mine stops?

I doubt it.

Aya-chan is secured for the rest of her life with the blood money I’ve made; whether she remains asleep or wakes up tomorrow. I never want her to know the creature of blood and death her brother has become. Now that Takatori is dead, making sure that she never knows the depths I’ve sunk to is the last honourable thing I can do for her.

So, just one more mission and I think; just maybe, I can finally rest….