~*~To Be Loved~*~

Disclaimer: I don’t own Loveless or any of its characters.

“No Ritsuka, you’re too young.” Soubi said with a smile as he caressed the boy’s cheek gently.

Ristuka sighed then looked up with pleading eyes. He really wanted this. He wanted Soubi to touch, to kiss him, to feel the warmth of body against his. “Soubi, please…!” He begged softly. He was so tired being denied physical contact; he wasn’t a child anymore.

“Ritsuka, you’re still…”

“Yeah, Yeah I know; I am still a child…” Ritsuka grumbled as he released his fighter from his hold. He was 16 for god’s sake, what did Soubi think of him? “…and you don’t want a child.” He added sadly getting up to head towards the open balcony hiding the tears welled up in his eyes. Did Soubi truly love him?

**

Soubi watched the boy lean against the railings, turning away from him. He sighed silently. Oh what he would give to feel the lithe form in his arms, writhing under him crying out his name in ecstasy. But to him Ritsuka was too much of a child and he didn’t want to hurt Ritsuka. He loved him too much to do that to him. Getting up, he walked up to his young master and wrapped his arms around the slender waist, pulling Ritsuka closer. “I’m sorry Ritsuka, I love you.”

“Leave.” Those last three words had burned him; ripped his being.

Soubi stiffened. “Ritsuka?”

“Please… leave Soubi.” Ritsuka pried himself out of those arms; he didn’t need false assurances. Soubi could never love him, he only loved Seimei. Soubi was Seimei’s, never his.

“Is that an order?” Soubi inquired softly, sadness evident in his voice.

“No.” Ritsuka swallowed pushing away the sobs that threatened to tear his heart. “I have told you before that you are not my slave and I’ll never order you unless it’s life and death situation.”

“Then…”

“Soubi, I need to be alone. Please…”

Soubi remained for a moment, hurt that his master would not even look at him anymore. He tried to reach Ristuka but the boy simply pushed past him running to the bathroom and locked the door behind.

“I am truly sorry Ristuka. I love you.” He whispered before jumping off the balcony disappearing into the night.

**
Ristuka slid down the behind the closed door, his body convulsing under the sobs that erupted forth. “Why? Why Soubi? Why wouldn’t you love me?”

********

The battle raged on as cursed and counter curses flew from both sides. Soubi glanced worriedly towards his sacrifice. Ristuka’s breathing was heavy, the restraints biting into his skin as he stood beside Soubi gritting his teeth, yet not muttering a sound.

“Hold on Ristuka, it’ll be over soon!” Soubi shouted as he negated another spell. Ristuka showed no sign of hearing him. Sweat beaded his forehead and blood soaked his garments yet he didn’t cry out. This worried Soubi, the boy hadn’t spoken a word since that night. He knew something was wrong with Ritsuka; the boy looked pale even as he appeared beside him before the commencement of the battle. The usually bright eyes had gone dull, ringed with dark circles, just like the time when he had despaired after Seimei’s untimely death, he was thinner than before and he doubted whether the boy had eaten or slept for days. This way he wouldn’t last for long.

Conjuring up a powerful spell he broke through the enemy’s defences wounding them but not enough to kill them. He always followed Ritsuka’s orders, the ones that made him feel alive once again.

“Ritsuka!”

Beside him, Ristuka swayed dangerously and in a flash the fighter was beside him before he finally lost his consciousness.

********

“Ristuka… please wake up!” Soubi whispered silently as he caressed the soft, feline ears. Ritsuka had been unconscious for three days, showing no sign of waking. In fact he could feel the boy slipping little by little every day. His Ristuka was dying. Why? He didn’t know. The wounds weren’t severe enough to kill anyone but Ristuka seemed to have given up on living.

“What happened, Ristuka? Why won’t you wake up? I love you…” A stray tear slid down his cheeks as he looked at pale body before him. “Tell me what have I done to cause you this amount of pain... punish me for it. But please don’t die on me. Please, Ristuka… please wake up!” Soubi buried his faced over in hands.

He won’t wake up.

The fighter snapped up, looking around frantically to locate the source of the voice. “Who’s there?”

Ristuka is suffering because of your foolishness.

He knew that voice, the deep stoic voice that had controlled him for years. “Seimei…?”

You’ve hurt him.

“How? I could never hurt my Ristuka, I love him…”

You say that, yet to choose not acknowledge his feelings.

“What do you mean by that?” Soubi growled at the disembodied voice.

Ritsuka loves you.

“I know that.” Soubi sapped as he jumped pacing through the room. “And I return the emotions.”

Yet you deny him what he craves the most.

The spell-fighter frowned. What did Seimei mean?

He needs you to survive. He needs your love, your touch. He cannot live without that. He cannot be loveless anymore…..

********************

Drowning; he was drowning. He tried to scream yet not words came out. Clenching his fingers on his throat he tried to call out, plead somebody for help. Yet only silence reigned. Struggling seemed futile as he was pushed deeper in the cold, dark water.

He knew he was getting lost, that he wouldn’t be able to feel warm anymore but he was helpless. Laughter… he heard laughter around him, jeering and taunting. Why? Why wouldn’t anyone help him? Didn’t anyone care? Didn’t they love him?

That is the fate of one who is loveless. Surrender and you may find peace for there remains nothing for you in the material world. No one sees you, you were alone and you shall always be alone. Let go and you shall receive freedom. Come to us, surrender, surrender, SURRENDER!!!

No…

No…!

No!!

A light. His fading vision could make out a light and in a last struggle for life he reached towards it. Finding his voice somehow. Help me… Help me… love me…

The light engulfed him, the darkness receding suddenly as his body was surrounded by a warm glow.

“Suki daiyo, Ritsuka…”

“Suki daiyo.”

“You’re not alone, come back. Come back please.

****************************************************

Blue eyes fluttered open as he felt a strange sensation of warmth coursing through his body.

“Ristuka, Suki Daiyo…” The familiar words that made him wince every time seemed different somehow. He gasped suddenly as he felt a pair of lips on his, engaged in a kiss that spread a blanket of gentle love around his wounded heart. “I am sorry.”

“Soubi?” he inquired a little dazed by the closeness. “What happened?”

“I am sorry…” the fighter murmured again as he nuzzled the boy’s cheek before proceeding to shower his face with feather light kisses and gentle nibbles along his jaw line.

Ritsuka drew a shuddering breath, a shiver running down his spine as a traitorous lip found his ear lobe nibbling on it and licking the soft skin behind it.

“Soubi!”

“Let me love you Ritsuka, please.” Bright azure eyes bore into the meek violet ones, assuring the small boy before Soubi peeled the blanket off the lean, nude form watching him flush just a bit and chuckled. Oh his Ritsuka was so cute, those cat ears twitching in anticipation on his head, tail swirling in an unknown happiness of finally being accepted and acknowledged. Soubi would hate to see them disappear but he knew he could live with that.

“Why?” Ritsuka wriggled under Soubi observant gaze, the colouring of his cheek reaching his ears.

“Simply because I want to. I love you, Ritsuka.” Soubi offered, silencing Ritsuka with a finger on his lips before he could protest. “No… I really do love you. I simply didn’t think you would be comfortable with the physical aspect of it. I thought you were too much of a child to understand the intricacies of it.” He explained.

“I am not a child, Soubi…” Ritsuka huffed a little. “I stopped being that a long ago.”

“Hai, I know.” Soubi answered simply before capturing the boy lips again. This it was far from gentle and slow. A tongue darted from its hidden confines breaching through the pinkish folds of Ritsuka’s, dipping into the delicious crevice playing with its twin.

Ristuka moaned softly, all trouble fleeing as pulled the older man closer to him. It was only the heat from the fighter that could defeat the cold emptiness inside him. He needed Soubi; needed him to survive, needed him to breath.

A strong hand cupped his chin as Soubi devoured him, tasting and exploring the hidden treasure that was Ritsuka while the other ran along the boy’s side, making him shiver under the feather light touches. Lips moved and Ritsuka groaned as they sought the soft contours of his feline ears tugging and licking, delving in the auditory crevice, lathing it with his saliva.

A keening whine erupted off the young boy’s lips as he arched himself into the hard clothed body above him, rocking himself desperately. He wanted something but didn’t know what.

“Shhh… relax Ristuka, I am here” Soubi assured as he lifted himself momentarily almost tearing off the clothing on his body and flung them haywire in the room before settling himself back, naked skin against naked skin, smiling as the boy gasped in response to the new sensation, his cheeks flushing instantly. “Suki daiyo, Ristuka.” He muttered sincerely watching the blank eyes lit up with joy before he proceeded with an endless journey of the long throat sucking and biting listening the shallow breathing as the boy writhed under him.

Fingers curled into the long grey locks, tugging at them gently as the fighter’s torturous tongue found Ritsuka’s collarbone, biting and kissing before delving into the hollow to tease it. Legs opened wider in an inviting manner and Soubi settled between them bringing their rising erections together making them groan. The fighter looked up just for a moment admiring the red swollen lips, the flushed cheek and the heaving Ritsuka who stared back, the violent pool overflowing with love and adoration. Soubi smiled gratefully as he placed a kiss on the pale forehead. Oh how long he had waited to be loved like that and to think he had almost lost it with his foolishness.

A distressed whimper brought him out of his musings and, with a tiny quirk of the thin lips, he suddenly reached forward giving a hard lick to one of the pink nub that stood in attention for his caresses. A long moan rumbled through the boy’s chest encouraging his actions and lips closed over the rapidly wrinkling patch, suckling on the hardened nub while fingers found the other, twisting and rolling it, driving the boy insane as his nerves carried the shocks to his swollen member making drip with precum.

Whimpers and short screams filled the room as Ritsuka twisted under Soubi’s merciless teasing, the tongue now placing long hard licks on his torso alternating with hard nips and occasional soft kisses. He was fully aroused now, but needed more. “Soubi please…” he begged softly as his hands moved gently over the hard back. “I… I need…”

“I know…” Soubi smiled inching lower to place a long lick underside the thick shaft on the thick vein making the boy buck towards his mouth and moan. Smiling at Ritsuka’s eagerness, he took the engorged head into his mouth, swirling tongue revelling in the unique taste of Ritsuka, the sweet tangy flavour that tickled his taste buds making him hum in approval.

The vibrating sensations sent shocks down his spine and Ritsuka bucked, a keening sound beginning to form in his throat as Soubi pleasured him relentlessly with his mouth, the throat muscles constricting as he took in more of the cock, sucking and teasing and taking the boy higher and higher. A slick finger found the hidden rosette and pushed at the muscled entrance as Ristuka whimpered, a bit uncomfortable from the intrusion and wriggled, the anal muscles clenching to prevent further passage. But the nervous whimper soon changed into a strained distressed whine as his member was released. “Relax Ristuka, you need to let go.” Soubi instructed and chuckled when he received an annoyed growl (which sounded more like a mewl) in response. However, the muscles slowly relaxed and the fighter resumed his duties, devouring the steadily dripping shaft as his finger worked inside his lover stretching and preparing him for the future activities.

More fingers were gradually added and Ristuka let out a guttural scream as they hit a spot deep inside him, feeling his cock jerk in response within Soubi’s mouth.

“Sou…Soubi…I … I…!” came a breathless moan and Soubi sucked on harder, bobbing his head up and down and finger working more furiously stroking the bundle of nerves in each attempt. Soon the boy cried out, heels digging into the covers, fingers clutching the white sheet in a death grip as he came, sending spurt after spurt of pearly liquid in the waiting mouth.

Soubi milked him for all he was worth realising only when he felt the body beneath spasm helplessly. Rising up he wiped a trail off the corner of his mouth, an evil smirk forming on his lips as he watched the boy laying before him in a shuddering sprawl, his flush body heaving as he struggled to linger in the euphoric world just a moment longer.

Ritsuka opened his eyes to the man he loved so much and reached out pulling the fighter closer to him, a sated, grateful smile forming on his lips. “That…. That was wonderful…” He confessed kissing the pink lips that had pleasured him not a moment ago.

Soubi smirked. “Ah… but love, I’ve just begun.” the grin growing wider as violet eyes looked into his in confusion and curiosity. Ah his small feline lover was still a bit naïve, wasn’t he? “We still have to do something about those ears and that tail of yours and as much I hate to see them go I cannot wait any longer to be inside you.” he added watching the dark triangular appendages twitch back and forth and the tail stiffen a bit.

A steady flush spread across the pale cheeks working its way to Ritsuka’s ears as understanding dawned along with a hint of unknown fear. “But… but Soubi, I don’t…”

A finger shushed him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll guide you.” Soubi assured placing a soft kiss on the swollen lips. “Turn over, Ritsuka.” he instructed. Ristsuka complied, although he couldn’t help but feel apprehensive about what was to occur. He didn’t have much idea how it felt to have sex between two men, his sources being limited to the messy first time experiences of his heterosexual friends. He knew that Soubi was far more experienced and wouldn’t hurt him on him purpose, but he was really getting scared.

Sensing the tension in his young lover body, Soubi sighed. This was the first time for Ritsuka and he wanted to make it as pleasurable as possible. It was an important event in their life and he didn’t want the young one to regret anything. He reached down and ran his fingers soothingly through the dark locks dropping soft kisses on the pale flesh of Ritsuka’s neck and shoulder, assuring him. “It’ll be okay, Ritsuka. Just relax.”

Letting out a shuddering sigh, Ritsuka willed his body to relax but his eyes soon flew open, a loud groan falling off his lips as he felt the soft lips being replaced by a wet tongue licking the long column of his spine. More nips followed before he felt his globes being parted, the tail being lifted and a hard, wet presence near his entrance. He stiffened instantly, fear growing.

“Trust me…” Soubi soothed as he returned to suckle on a sensitive spot on Ritsuka’s neck while carefully pushing himself past the initial barriers of Ritsuka’s tight orifice. Ritsuka cried out, burying his face in the pillows to stifle it his fingers clenched it edges. “It hu-hurts, Soubi…” he sobbed weakly through his gritted teeth.

“Please, Ritsuka, relax. It’ll over soon.”

“But…”

“Shhh… relax.” somehow the words gave the strength he needed and slowly …very slowly… Ritsuka let go, relaxing his body under his lover. Soubi waited patiently giving the boy time to adjust to the initial pain hoping that he didn’t hurt anymore as he proceeded.

Pain began to ebb away slowly and Ritsuka sighed before turning his head to his side. “I’m okay.” he mumbled and felt a soft kiss being placed on his cheeks.

Soubi began to work his way inside slowly with much care, not wishing for the small boy to suffer like he had during his initiation. Rituka gasped and wriggled a bit but remained fairly placid, the painful sensation now being replaced by a feeling of fullness as Soubi was finally sheathed completely within him.

Soon the lean body thrust backwards experimentally glad that it didn’t hurt anymore and hearing a distinct grunt from above. “Soubi?”

“Umm…” Soubi managed, he was too aroused now and wanted nothing but to pound mercilessly into the small body beneath him, only his severe training in self-control saved him from such act. He almost lost it when another thrust was generated indicating his little love was ready and he began to move, shuddering and groaning in ecstasy as he delved deeper and deeper into Ritsuka.

Heaving breathing laced with wordless cries of heated moans and grunts filled the small room as sweat slicked bodies moved against one another the signs of innocence slowly, finally fading away from Ritsuka’s body, turning him into an adult.

“Fa-faster” He cried out not paying attention to his lost anatomical parts as he pushed back against his lover meeting him thrust for thrust. The wave was building again and this time it was far fiercer than anything he had felt in his life. “Yesssssss…..”

Soubi drove himself more violently into his lover’s body, loosing all connections to the sane world as he inched closer and closer to his release.

Finally with a few hard thrusts both cried out in unison, reaching their long impending climaxes together neither noticing the golden glow that covered them or the disappearance of the horrid marks on the fighter’s throat and chest and the word reappearing together on both bodies, glowing, joining them together in a strong bond of love, companionship and power.

They collapsed in a heap over one another, panting hard from exertion before Soubi pulled himself out of the smaller frame pushing himself on lie to his back, waiting for his heart to stop hammering against his chest and his breathing to return to normal.

Finally he pushed himself up reaching out for the wet flannel that lay nearby cleansing himself thoroughly before moving to do the same to the one lying beside him. Ritsuka groaned in his near sleep state, body shuddering as Soubi carefully cleaned off the fluids before turning the boy around, gasped silently, his eyes widening as he watched the words ‘BELOVED’ etched on the boy’s chest. Looking down he found the same on his and sighed in happiness, the small smile growing on his lips.

“I love you, Ritsuka.” He whispered truthfully, watching as Ritsuka smiled.

“Hmmm… and for the first time I don’t feel like pushing you off the balcony…” Ritsuka mumbled as he pulled his lover beside him, sleepily snuggling closer to the warm body. “I love you Soubi, more than anything,” he whispered as Soubi pulled the covers over them and wound his arms protectively around the smaller male surrendering to the peaceful call of sleep.

~END~

Author Notes: If you liked it, please leave a word or two. It really helps. ^__________^