The Game of Love

Title: The Game of Love
Author: Despina
Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai, some Sanzo x Goku
Rating: NC 17 - just to cover all future possibilities *wink-wink*
Summary: A series of ‘moments’ between Gojyo and Hakkai. What are they to one another? Confusion, exploration and testing boundaries are necessary in order to find out.

Notes: This piece is unbetaed so my apologies up front. I’ve been a huge Saiyuki fan for years, but only recently decided to take the plunge and post some of my fanfiction for it. Let me know what you think – I have more, but…




The Game of Love


Chapter 1


Gojyo peered over the edge of his glass and studied his dark-haired companion. Hakkai’s features were relaxed and calm, disguising the fact that this was the first night in over a week the band of four had enjoyed a hot meal and a bed for the night. Yet, as exhausted as they were, the two had forgone bed for the moment in order to sit at a small table in the back corner of a bar drinking beer.

The last week was constant travel; there had not been one viable village or town on their journey. They hoped in vain that Hakkai’s maps were wrong or outdated about this lonely stretch of road, but alas, the maps had been true. So for the last seven and a half days, the four battled demons, slept on the ground and ate whatever unlucky game happened by.

And they fought. Well, really, only two fought each other while another threw a series of temper tantrums.

Sanzo had taken a couple of shots at Gojyo and Goku, threatened to leave them on the side of the road and brutalized them with his stupid paper fan any chance he got. Gojyo smiled with the memory. Driving the droopy-eyed monk to the point of insanity had been the only good thing about the past week of hell.

Luckily, Hakkai had made sure there were enough cigarettes and wine to get them through, otherwise, the likelihood of Sanzo actually killing someone would have been unavoidable.

Crimson eyes scanned the common room, habitually if not actively looking for women who might be interested in spending the evening with him. He didn’t really want a woman, but they helped, they stemmed the overwhelming longing for his true love, for the love he could never have.

“… ill?”

Gojyo blinked and turned his head to gaze at Hakkai’s worried features. “What?”

There was that patented phony smile. The smile that soothed demon-frightened victims, the smile that got the ‘Sanzo Party’ out of trouble and the smile that was firmly in place whenever the dark-haired man was troubled or concerned. That smile was his impenetrable mask; it shielded Hakkai’s feelings from the world. But when he directed that same smile at Gojyo, it would break the half-breed’s heart. How long would it be before Hakkai let down his barriers for Gojyo?

Hakkai responded softly, “I asked if you were feeling well.”

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Gojyo answered, miraculously keeping the irritation out of his voice. For a guy with such a big brain, Hakkai could be remarkably dense about the simplest things.

“You have been unusually quiet since we arrived. Even during dinner, you barely argued with Goku.”

The red-haired man shrugged. “I’m tired, I guess.”

“Well, being tired is understandable,” Hakkai chuckled with his empty laugh. “It has been a rather grueling week for all of us.”

“Yeah,” was the simple reply. Gojyo took a healthy drink of his beer.

“Another round for us, please,” Hakkai said politely to the bartender as he passed.

Gojyo did not hide his surprise as he asked, “You’re staying? That’s unlike you.”

“Oh, now why would you say that, Gojyo?” he smiled again. “I have spent many nights drinking with you. Particularly, on nights when it seemed as if you might benefit from some company.”

Lighting a cigarette, the taller man took a deep drag and then answered, “Huh. Ya think so?”

“Yes. Or, perhaps I am cramping your style?” Green eyes scanned the sparsely populated room before he continued, “Although, it does appear as if your options are limited this evening.”

“So it would seem,” Gojyo admitted gruffly as he took another chug from his beer, emptying his glass.

The bartender arrived, setting down two new glasses of beer.

“Why?” he asked abruptly.

“Why what?” The healer answered.

“Why tonight?” Gojyo challenged.

Lifting his glass, Hakkai looked at him squarely before asking his own question, “Why do you drink with me on rainy nights?”

“Ah,” he quaffed his newly acquired beer before adding, “I see. It’s pity.”

Green eyes narrowed sharply as Hakkai said very softly, “How can you suggest such things, Gojyo? Is that your reason for staying with me during the rainy nights?”

Now Gojyo felt like a heel. “Of course not!”

“Then why to you drink with me on those days?”

Hakkai was too smart to trade words with, Gojyo always lost this battle. Sighing he answered, “I just want to be with you on those nights. There’s no particular reason.”

There was that heartbreaking smile again. “My point exactly.”

The two silently drank for a while. After a sufficient amount of beer disappeared from both of their glasses, Hakkai raised his hand, motioning to the bartender for another round.

The blood-red eyes twinkled with amusement as Goyjo asked in a suggestive tone, “Hakkai, are you trying to get me drunk?”

That soft, comforting voice answered, “Ah, well, not really. I apologize; I forgot you cannot keep up with me.”

“Don’t give me that crap, Hakkai, no one can keep up with you. You don’t get drunk.” Gojyo accused.

“Well, I suppose you have a point,” he answered with a laugh. “I guess, perhaps it was me who was feeling a bit lonely and wanted a little companionship.”

“Really?” Gojyo’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Is there something on your mind?”

“Oh, nothing more than usual,” there was that vague answer and unfathomable smile again as Hakkai’s eyes held his friends gaze.


Gojyo fumed. After all they had been through together, why would Hakkai treat him like a mere acquaintance instead of… instead of… well… what? What exactly were they? More than friends, less than lovers, he guessed. But what did Hakkai think they were?

After mulling over his confusing thoughts for several minutes, Gojyo, emboldened by the alcohol, finally broke the silence, “Hey, Hakkai?”

“Yes, Gojyo?” green-eyes sparkled at him with ever-patient amusement.

“Have you ever considered…” that was as far as he got before Gojyo’s mouth went dry. Hakkai was looking at him in the way that said I know what you are thinking. Reconsidering his line of questioning, Gojyo said, “Nah, never mind.”

Cho Hakkai picked up his beer glass and looked over the rim as he said very clearly, “Of course I have considered, Gojyo. How could I not? You are, after all, Sha Gojyo. I believe it is difficult not to be… affected by you.”

Even as inebriated as he was, the redhead was skeptical. Hakkai had a fierce, almost evil tendency towards teasing and Gojyo knew from several embarrassing experiences, it could be very difficult to tell when he was serious. He kept his true self guarded and buried deep, it was almost impossible to tell where the real Hakkai ended and the fake Hakkai began. Gojyo suspected even Hakkai might not know anymore, he had been living in constant denial for so long.

"But you... oh, hell," Goyjo leaned back in his chair, giving up before going any farther. His friend was certainly yanking his chain and he didn't want to look anymore foolish than he already did.

"But I… what, Gojyo?" the merriment was clear in the demon's voice now.

Gojyo glared at him and then broke into his defensive thousand-watt smile. "It's not important."

Hakkai continued to stare patiently at his companion. He would not allow that dazzling smile to dissuade him this time. Green eyes delved deep, invading Gojyo’s soul, getting too close to half-demon’s own vulnerabilities.

Gojyo scrambled to change the subject, "Did his holiness decree how long we would be in town?"

He almost sighed with frustration but instead Hakkai answered evenly, "Not yet. But after roughing it for as long as we have and following Sanzo's normal pattern, I would estimate two to three days." He smiled as he added, "Depending on his mood, of course."

Laughing the redhead said, "Yeah, he has a very unmonk-like attraction for the comfortable life, if you ask me."

Hakkai raised his glass to his lips but just before he drank, he smiled again. "Perhaps there is another reason for his insistence for a longer stay."

"Oh my, gossip, Hakkai?" Now the ruby colored eyes sparkled with mirth. "How very undignified. What is it? Oh, please, please tell me it's a bad case of hemorrhoids."

Tipping his head, the dark-haired demon said, "No. But you are surprisingly close."

Hmm, Gojyo thought about it. "Er, I'm probably completely off the mark, but it doesn't involve the monkey, does it? I mean, Goku is kind of a pain in the ass."

Hakkai actually laughed. It wasn't the fake laugh, but the rare laugh reserved only for his friend, only for Gojyo.

"Oh, come on! You aren't seriously suggesting that Sanzo and the monkey are..." Goyjo halted his triad of denial as he studied his friend's face. Finally he exhaled and said softer, "You are. Now how did I miss this turn of events?"

"Sanzo can be discreet when he wants."

"I know, but Goku? He's just a kid,” Gojyo shook his head.

"A kid over 500, if you remember correctly."

"Well, yeah. But Goku? That's insane," the half-demon said as he sipped his beer. "How could he want Goku when someone as hot as me is available?"

Hakkai spilled the new beer he picked up as his head snapped to make eye contact with Gojyo.

The redhead laughed with unbridled joy as he picked up the faint glimmer of unguarded jealousy in his friend’s eyes. "Gotcha. That's what you get for withholding such juicy information as this."

Green eyes narrowed for a millisecond, telling Gojyo all he needed to know. The half-demon might not be as strong as Goku, as mean as Sanzo or as smart as Hakkai but he did have a talent for reading people. And with that simple glare, his dark-haired friend had just spoken a novel to him. Gojyo’s heart swelled with the information and he took a satisfying chug of his beer, attempting to hide his smug smile.

After a several moments had past, he finally added, “Besides, if I had to pick anyone, I’d rather have you.”

This time Hakkai actually choked on the beer.

Gojyo drained his glass and then stood raising his arms over his head in order to stretch. His tank top also rose, giving everyone who was watching a view of his finely toned stomach. “Well, I’m tired. See you in the morning.”

“What? Wait, Gojyo…” Hakkai stammered as he watched his friend’s sudden retreating form. That had not ended the way he had wanted. But then again, Gojyo could be… deliciously unpredictable.

So. Gojyo had won this round, but Hakkai knew the game would continue. He would have a chance to even the score another time; the full-demon was nothing if not patient. Hakkai emptied his beer glass and followed his companion’s path out of the bar.

Yes, the game would continue and win or lose Hakkai looked forward to playing again.


TBC