Hope's Pure Light

((A/N: Hello, everyone! I had found an old journal with this story in it, and decided to type it out and see how it does out in the real world! Please comment! I love hearing from everyone! ~Jen))

Chapter One: Again

The remnants of the day's rain softly fell off the leaves and window panes as the last glow of the sunset disappeared over the horizon. Night deftly encased the skies, pulling a darkened sapphire sheet over Japan. Stars had just begun to twinkle in the velvety shadows and a strange romance began to float on the cool breeze.
Sakura slowly tilted her chin to meet the gaze of piercing brown eyes. She closed her emerald eyes as if in a dream; she felt soft lips brush hers. Sweet and gentle as a whisper, the power of such a tender kiss pulled her mind backwards in time and filled her with both loss and hope. As she eagerly returned the kisses, her hand raised to stroke his cheek, breathing faster. His lips moved to her neck, as she came closer and raised her body against his.
"Syaoran.." She whispered quietly as she felt his hands on her body, urging on what was sure to come next. Suddenly, the sweet kisses stopped. It had happened again.
Sakura bit her lip, realizing her mistake a moment too late. The man backed away slowly, eyes filling with contempt and resentment. He looked down upon her spitefully, his brown hair almost bristling with anger. Sakura lowered her eyes to escape from the heat radiating from her lover.
"I'm sorry..." she barely whispered as the man came towards her once more. A fear rose inside her and tears filled her eyes. She met his gaze, her eyes pleading for mercy and forgiveness. "Please..." she begged as he grabbed her wrist forcefully. Sakura fell to the floor in pain as he bent her arm against her.
"I told you, never call me that!" He jerked her to her feet and threw her against the wall. Tears began rolling down her cheeks as she sat on the floor, weak and helpless. She turned her pale face towards the man, afraid of what she would see. Her eyes met his and she felt his disgust with her. He turned swiftly, storming out of her dorm room.
"Marc..." she called softly and hopelessly. She held her aching wrists and tried to numb the pain. Purple and red marks stained her skin; it wasn¡¦t the first time this had happened. The young, defeated woman crawled into the corner of her bed. Curling up into a ball and facing the wall in shame, she choked back sobs and tears.
She couldn't help but ask why this had happened...why did it always happen? It had been ten years since she had last seen him. His face now seemed nothing more than a distant memory. At times she wasn't even sure if it had been real...perhaps it was only a dream that she could never seem to forget. Countless memories had lingered in her mind for years after he had left. Regardless of his departure, however, she had remained hopeful for his return. They had formed such a strong bond over those years, and she has refused to believe it was over between them. She had told him her feelings. She thought that they had truly loved each other. Surely it had meant something to Syaoran. Why hadn't he come back? Through the first few years, Sakura had held on bitterly, forcing herself to believe he would return to her as he said he would. She had waited, knowing that that when he did step back into her life, all of the waiting and pain would be worth it. Her friends grew up around her, experiencing the thrills of dating and love while she sat idly by, refusing to give up hope.
After years of cheerful hoping, she finally had to face the truth: he would never come back. A sudden epiphany had dawned upon her that night: it was her. Something about her had driven him away, and like a fool she had believed in him. She had hopeless believed that he was worth waiting for¡Kthat he was somewhere waiting for her¡Kthat someday they would be together again. But she was wrong. She knew now that she would never be good enough for him, and nothing would bring him back to her. Her dreams of a life with him were nothing more than a childish fantasy. That single realization had broken her. Only seventeen at the time, the feelings of worthlessness took over her life. The light she once possessed vanished overnight as she was overcome by the darkness of pain and doubt.
Sakura had drawn away from her friends, falling into isolation. Only Tomoyo had stubbornly stayed at her side, as did Kero, but Sakura had shut herself off from everyone. Silence reigned over Sakura's attempted conversations. Nothing seemed to reach her as she closed her mind and heart to the world. By the time she had entered college, she was no more than an empty shell.
Honestly, Sakura had tried to move on...she had tried repeatedly. Regardless of how hard she had tried, nothing and no one could fill her with the innocent happiness she had once possessed. It seemed nothing but an electric jolt would shake her from the hollow life she now led. When she had tried, dating had come easily for her, but with attempted love, there was always pain.
Sakura shuddered at the loneliness that had consumed her. The coldness that had overcome her mind and heart held more pain and sorrow than the loveless world Yue had once shown her. It felt as if truth had been ripped from her, leaving her with nothing more than failed dreams and sunken hopes. The pain she bore now had been accepted, perhaps even embraced. She had nothing else now; the pain was the only feeling her numbed body could feel.
Eventually her tears changed into dreamless and uneasy sleep. She tossed and turned, still questioning why fate had dealt her this cruel card. Her essence was slowly dripping away, fading into the unending darkness. Unnoticed as she fretfully turned in her sleep, a Sakura Card slipped away.