Heavenly Communication

First upload to AFF.net - hopefully I have all the warnings right.

Heavenly Communication

Night fell on another day of tedious travel and even more tedious fighting. The day's only saving grace was that the party had reached a town which not only had an inn, but that inn had four vacant rooms for the taking. Privacy, silence, bath, meditation and uninterrupted sleep; those were Sanzo's priorities. He supposed that all Goku wanted was food, Gojyo would want beer, gambling and intimate company and Hakkai would want...well, whatever it was that Hakkai normally craved. In truth, Sanzo didn't care much what the others wanted and as soon as the rooms were paid for and allocated he brushed past the others, found his room for the night and determinedly shut and locked the door. All hopes he'd had that the others - particularly Goku - would take the hint that he did not wish to be disturbed quickly vanished when he heard a loud and persistent knocking at his door. Sanzo responded in his usual manner, but it seemed that a couple of bullets piercing the door would do nothing to deter his visitor. Heaving a sigh, he pulled himself up from where he'd flopped on the bed and angrily unlocked then yanked open the door.

"What?" Sanzo gave Gojyo his best glare.

"Nothing. Just makin' sure your room is to your satisfaction." Gojyo winked then turned on his heel and walked away, smirking at the silently fuming monk behind him.

Sanzo kicked the door shut and walked back towards his bed. Before he had taken even three steps there was another knock on his door. He whirled round and opened the door, coming face to face with Hakkai's usual ever-so-pleasant smile.

"Yes?" Sanzo ground out, aiming for polite but instead sounding aggravated. Hakkai didn't appear to be fazed in the least.

"Just wondering what time you'd like to set off tomorrow?"

"Early."

"First light, then?" Hakkai asked cheerfully.

"Yes. Fine." Sanzo tried hard not to snap.

"Alright. Sleep well, Sanzo." Sanzo closed the door once more and instead of heading toward the bed, he made for the bathroom.

After Sanzo had done the necessary, he turned on the shower and stepped back into his room to strip. It was then he noticed the sound. It was the sound of unrelenting, highly irritating, terribly inconvenient knocking. With a snarl which bordered on a growl, Sanzo crossed the short space to the door, grasped the handle and with a resigned sigh opened the door.

"What do you want, Goku?"

"I'm hungry, Sanzo!"

"So go and eat."

"Come and eat with me?" Sanzo was used to Goku's whining, but at that moment he found the wheedling tone to be even more grating than usual. So far Sanzo had been needlessly disturbed by Gojyo, interrupted by Hakkai and his annoying pleasantness and now Goku stood before him looking miserable, dejected and hungry. It was the final straw.

"If you're hungry go and eat. No, I won't come with you because not only am I not hungry. I do not want any company so if you or anyone else disturbs me again tonight, I will not hesitate to shoot them." Goku opened his mouth as if to speak but appeared to think better of it. Goku preferred Sanzo's out of control anger and fan thrashings to this strangely calm and controlled ire. Sanzo allowed himself a satisfied smirk as he watched Goku cautiously back away then turn tail and run. Sanzo quietly closed the door and got ready for his shower, certain that there would be no further interruptions. He stepped under the shower's hot spray and sighed.

"What did I do in my former life to deserve this?" he mused. Karma was a bitch.

Konzen lined up the stamp and pressed it down onto the final document. His day had been particularly busy, unfortunately busy did not equate to interesting. Still, Konzen couldn't really complain. There was satisfaction to be found in the knowledge of having done a good job and that he had done a good job deserved to be rewarded. Konzen's idea of a reward was a simple meal followed by a relaxing soak and finally some "alone" time. At least, that had been Konzen's routine before he came along.

"Konzen!" a loud, instantly recognizable voice broke into Konzen's thoughts.

"Is it time for dinner yet? I'm hungry!" the voice continued.

'When are you not hungry?' Konzen thought blithely and crossed the room to his window and looked out. Sure enough, there was Goku, grubby and excitedly waving up at him and smiling broadly.

"Is it? Is it time yet?" even though the window was firmly shut, Konzen could easily hear Goku's yelling. Konzen heard stifled laughter behind him and turned. Tenpou made a poor show of hiding his amusement and Konzen grunted in response.

"He's certainly full of energy." Tenpou crossed the room and joined Konzen at the window, smiling and waving to Goku.

"Too much energy." Konzen grumbled. "I've barely had a moment to myself since he arrived." even to his own ears Konzen sounded bitter. Tenpou obviously picked up on his longtime friend's frustration and Konzen was surprised at what he heard next.

"You should let him come and stay with me for the night."

"You're joking, right?" Konzen resisted the temptation to pounce on his friend's offer. If he appeared too keen, Tenpou would no doubt withdraw it out of a perverse sense of fun.

"I'm serious. It could be fun. Just imagine what the three of us would get up to." Konzen groaned. The three of them. That meant that Tenpou had included Kenren in his plans. Konzen considered the offer. On the one hand, he could have an evening to himself - just like the good old days - and could relax in whichever way he desired; on the other hand, if Konzen thought Goku was wild now, what would he be like after a night spent with those two miscreants? It probably should have been a far harder choice.

"Fine. If that's what you want to do." Konzen backed up his mask of indifference with a shrug, but inside he was grinning and planning his evening.

"Hey Goku - I have a surprise for you!" Tenpou leaned out of the now open window and called down to Goku. Konzen should have snapped at him irritably for that or at the very least winced but at that moment he didn't care. For once, someone else was going to have to deal with Goku and even though Konzen knew karma would turn around and bite him in the ass for thinking it, he hoped Goku would get up to his usual bedtime hijinks, mischief and general misbehaviour and make Tenpou and Kenren's lives as difficult as he usually made Konzen's.

Peace at last. Sanzo emerged from his shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and allowed the droplets from his wet hair to drip down his back. The way he felt right then, clean and refreshed, this was as close to feeling relaxed as Sanzo ever got. He reached for his cigarettes and lighter and sat on the bed beside the window. He propped the window open, took a deep inhalation of evening air then lit up. A few drips of water splashed down onto the lit end of his cigarette, causing it to sizzle and splutter.

While others might quickly grow bored with only themselves for company, this was the way Sanzo preferred it. Ever since he had taken in Goku and now this journey...Sanzo felt as though he hadn't truly been on his own for years. He knew the others - certainly Gojyo and Hakkai if not Goku - understood the need for a man to have some time to himself, but Sanzo's need for solitude was greater than just a matter of relieving tension. He needed this time alone now and again to centre himself, to get in touch with his inner being, as it were. When he put it that way, Sanzo thought it sounded pompous but he could think of no other way to phrase it. He flicked his cigarette butt out the window and pulled off his towel. He was eager to get started and he'd waited long enough. Sanzo arranged himself into a comfortable position and began breathing deeply.

Konzen ate a light dinner before soaking himself in delicately scented water. Time spent bathing was a vital part of Konzen's routine. It marked the beginning of his alone time and also relaxed and prepared him for what was to come. It had been quite some time since Konzen had been allowed to indulge himself like this and he planned to make the most of it. He leisurely washed, rinsed and towelled himself. Once dry, he massaged some scented oil into his skin and pulled on a silk robe and padded to his bedroom. He sat on the floor, crossed his legs and took a deep breath, ready for the next stage.

Quite when he had discovered that his meditation could lead to an experience like this, Sanzo couldn't say but he had been doing it for as long as he could remember. Of course he knew that this wasn't normal, even for those monks who claimed to have reached a higher level of consciousness didn't generally find themselves communing with their former self. Nor would they have every masturbatory or sexual encounter of their lives so far with a being that could only be conjured up through intense meditation. Of course, as far as Sanzo knew most monks didn't do even half of what Sanzo did.

The first time Konzen's meditation led to his mind being entered by Genjo Sanzo, he wondered if he had been drugged by some mischievous, celestial wag. The second time it happened, Konzen entered Sanzo's mind - the mind of a very confused, very young child. It took another few occasions for him to realise that this person was him...a different version but him alright. The implications of that realisation were staggering. If Sanzo was him, then that meant that at some point in his future, Konzen would...

For a long time after that, Konzen did not meditate. When he decided it was time to start again, he once more made contact with Sanzo. Konzen discovered that in the intervening time, Sanzo had grown from a very young child into a youthful but wise pre-teen. That was not the only difference, this time the pair could actually communicate.

Over time Sanzo saw Konzen less as a friend or a brother and more as a confidant or even a sort-of lover. The kind of lover you told no-one about and you hardly dared think of when not together with them. An illicit, morally wrong, technically impossible, thrilling, intoxicating and addictive lover. The more physical side of their relationship came when Sanzo was fifteen years old. Sanzo or not, he was still a teenaged boy and of course he had an interest in certain bodily functions, particularly those which could provide such pleasurable feelings. And so it was that during an especially intense masturbation session that young Genjo Sanzo heard a familiar voice in his head which - he later thought - should have caused him grave embarrassment, but actually brought on the most magnificent orgasm of his life up to that point.

At first, Konzen resisted the temptation that Sanzo presented. Meditation was more about physical gratification to the boy and that thought made Konzen feel...dirty. Konzen was not into children, regardless of whether they were a future reincarnated version of him, so he refused to actively participate but he did not refuse Sanzo's advances entirely. Many, many years had passed since his own adolescence, but Konzen could just about recall the youthful discovery of his own body and if his young counterpart found some sexual fulfilment in his playful exhibitionism then Konzen wouldn't be the one to deny him.

One night, things changed. Sanzo was approaching seventeen years of age but it felt more like forty. Beaten, battered and bruised he had tried to rest but sleep eluded him. That night, he meditated not with the intention of receiving physical relief but hoping for succour and comfort from the only person who could understand his situation. For the first time in his life, Sanzo called upon another, called upon Konzen for help. It was another turning point in their relationship. Sanzo approached Konzen not as a child looking up to an older relative, nor as teen making sexual advances to an object of desire, but as a world-weary adult, seeking comfort from someone who could understand his pain.

That action strengthened and solidified their feelings towards each other. The bond they had already forged turned into something far deeper. It could almost be called love except, both Konzen and Sanzo mused during their more cynical moments, it was impossible to love a figment of one's own imagination. Indeed, while each was deep in his meditative trance, neither doubted the other was real and chose not to question how it was possible for them to communicate this way. However at all other times, it had an air of unrealism about it and both wondered silently if their lonely lives led them to this delusion.

The most recent turn in their relationship was the mutual acknowledgement that companionship, friendship, comfort and sexual gratification could be both given and received and Konzen finally submitted to his desires shortly after Sanzo admitted to his need for even a small measure of love and affection. Of course, a physical between them was absolutely impossible, but descriptions, carefully worded conversations and fantastically active imaginations - some might say hallucinations played a part too - could bring about their own fulfilment - and also its own problems.

Such a problem arose when the young and inexperienced Sanzo sought to assert his dominance.

"This is good but if you were here in person, I'd fuck you." Konzen choked, both at Sanzo's statement and the apparent smugness.

"If I were there in person you'd feel my fan for making such a suggestion."

"Huh," Sanzo snorted. "I have a fan and a gun. I think I'd be more than a match for you." Konzen couldn't make up his mind whether to be amused at Sanzo's statement or not. The fact that it was impossible for the two of them to actually meet was incidental, Sanzo had thrown down the gauntlet and Konzen was more than happy to rise to the challenge. After all, Konzen had something which Sanzo didn't - the ultimate ace, as it were.

"I'm a god..."

After that altercation, Sanzo kept his opinions on who would be the more dominant of the two to himself. For a while at least. Occasionally, he would attempt to raise the topic again, only to find himself shot down. Then, another change happened. Both Konzen and Sanzo found themselves being a reluctant host and father figure to Goku. Neither told the other about his new-found ward, instead choosing to gloss over it and attribute the lack of time spent together to other duties. Konzen blamed the paperwork his aunt piled on him and Sanzo blamed the time he spent running around gathering items for the monks. Neither questioned the other's excuses after all, one could hardly point out secrecy in others when doing the same thing. So their meditation sessions became less and less frequent, but that time they did spend together grew relatively more intense and precious.

Then both found their lives thrown into turmoil. For Konzen, the humdrum dullness of the heavens changed into drama with paranoia and fear running rife. Konzen had his hands full trying to keep Goku out of trouble and away from people who tried to use him for their own ends. For Sanzo it was this mission, delivered to him by none other than his kind-of lover's aunt. A journey into the west with Goku and two others in an attempt to stop a demonic uprising. Whereas before, Konzen and Sanzo's contacts had been regular - if a little infrequent of late - with these new twists in their lives they had next to no time to be together. By the time Sanzo found himself in a position to fully relax and take advantage of his privacy and solitude, months had passed since their last meeting. There had been a few aborted attempts along the way however interruptions from the other three or demon attacks or any other number of reasons had ruined the moment. On Konzen's end, things were much the same. There was always some event which ruined all chance of having a little time to himself in which to contact Sanzo. This left both men feeling unsettled, even lonelier than usual and above all, extremely frustrated.

Sanzo didn't believe in true meditation - the kind that involved abstinence from those things which he did every day, like killing and drinking and of course this, the sexual desire - however he appreciated the physical benefits of meditation. He didn't always meditate with the intent of contacting Konzen, that kind of meditation required conscious thought and guaranteed time to himself, which was often impossible. He went through his usual relaxation exercises and then willed his mind into the deeper trance that would allow his connection with Konzen. The wetness on his body from his shower had all but dried, however his hair still dripped occasionally sending little droplets of water down his spine. In his current state of heightened awareness of his body, Sanzo thought that the small droplets sliding down his back felt like the light caress of a lover's fingers. He concentrated on the sensation and his breathing grew deeper. Finally, he reached the point where he knew he was ready.

"Konzen?" Sanzo whispered the query in his mind, fearing that his partner would not be there.

Konzen's bedroom window stood open and the various flowers beneath the ledge scented the evening air. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could feel his mind relaxing and his body unwinding, all stress and tension slipping away. His jaw - which seemed to be permanently clenched - loosened and even ceased to ache. His surroundings faded into the periphery of his consciousness. It was time.

"Konzen?" Konzen heard the whispered question and his heart sped up at the sound of Sanzo's voice in his head. Until that moment, he hadn't realised how much he'd missed the younger man. The enquiry was repeated and Konzen answered.

"I'm here, Sanzo." Sanzo's relief was obvious and Konzen could feel his own shoulders relax as he reacted empathically to Sanzo.

Sanzo had missed Konzen terribly, however he would never dream of admitting it. He suspected his feelings would be apparent even without stating them but that didn't mean he had to succumb to his emotions and weep and wail all over Konzen. So he maintained his dignity and swallowed the urge to tell Konzen just how much he'd been missed.

Although Konzen understood why Sanzo often held back, he didn't feel the same need for restraint. This was after all himself he was talking to.

"I've missed you, Sanzo." Konzen could feel the other momentarily freeze at the confession and then relax again.

"It has been a while. How are things?"

The pair exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes. Both knew that small talk wasn't really what they wanted but they each felt a little awkward and unsure of how to start. Whereas before their relationship had an easiness about it, their time apart made it difficult to pick up where the had left off. Sanzo in particular was hesitant to steer the conversation about health and wellbeing to his ever increasing sexual frustration. He would never admit it, but sometimes Sanzo found himself to be a little intimidated by Konzen.

"Are you okay, Sanzo?" Konzen took Sanzo's reluctance to chat as a sign that something was wrong. "Is there something on your mind?"

"No more than usual. Nothing we need to talk about." Sanzo replied.

"I see. Well, would you like to...?" Konzen let the question hang, certain that the meaning was clear, even if the actual words hadn't been spoken.

"Yes." had he been speaking aloud, Sanzo's voice would have cracked in relief at not having to be the one to ask. He visualised Konzen standing in front of him. He knew what Konzen looked like - similar to his own appearance with a few subtle differences. As ever, in his mind's eye Konzen appeared naked and smirking in much the same way that Sanzo smirked. As the real Konzen spoke, the imaginary one either moved his lips in time to Konzen's words or the actions he described. Soon enough, the imaginary Konzen became less imaginary and more real as both Sanzo and the real Konzen became thoroughly absorbed in the fantasy. For each of them, what was to play out next was as real to them as everyday life and even though it was Sanzo touching his erection and bringing himself to orgasm, it felt like Konzen's touch.

Konzen advanced on Sanzo, licking his lips and taking slow, measured steps. His arms hung loosely by his sides and with each step forward he rolled his hips, drawing Sanzo's attention to his pelvic bone and from there to his erection, jutting proudly from between Konzen's legs. Konzen noticed Sanzo's interest and halted his approach. He lifted one hand to his chest and stroked the tip of his fingers down, over his breastbone and continued down. When his hand reached his stomach he flattened his hand, splayed his fingers and caressed his abdomen. When Konzen's hand had travelled as far down as it could go, he swivelled his wrist and grasped the base of his penis between his thumb and forefinger. He brought his hand up in a languid motion until it reached the tip of his penis, where he paused to give himself a gentle squeeze before letting go entirely.

Sanzo watched the show in front of him unfold. His breath hitched when Konzen stopped to touch himself in a shameless display of eroticism and when Konzen's squeezing coaxed out the first drops of pre-come, a growl formed in Sanzo's throat. He reached out his hand to touch but Konzen was unreachable. The illusion was perfect. In his mind, Sanzo could clearly see Konzen kneeling before him. The only thing that reminded him that this wasn't real was the fact that he couldn't reach out and touch Konzen, was unable to kiss his lips, nibble his throat and neck, lick his chest or even suck his cock. The frustration of being unable to touch, coupled with what frustration was already pent up in him made Sanzo impatient.

"Stop teasing. I need more," he ground out between tightly clenched teeth. Konzen smirked at his counterpart's annoyance but did as requested. He took a step forward then sunk to his knees in front of Sanzo. Konzen spread each knee as far as it would go and then placed a hand on each thigh. He looked directly at Sanzo and spoke.

"It works both ways you know. This isn't a spectator sport."

Sanzo raised an eyebrow at Konzen, then smirked. Konzen never let him think he had the upper hand and constantly reminded him that they were equal in this. Sanzo was not permitted just to sit back and enjoy whatever Konzen was doing, nor would Konzen merely watch Sanzo. Full participation and interaction was not optional, it was required.

In truth, Sanzo ached to touch himself. His body craved release but his mind demanded that he take his time, after all once he climaxed he had neither the mental or physical strength to maintain his trance. He didn't know when the next opportunity to do this would arise - if at all - so he wanted to make the most of it.

Sanzo ran his fingers through his damp hair, dragging stray strands out the way of his face. He pulled himself into a position that mirrored Konzen's, up on his knees, hands also resting on his thighs. He leaned forward as if to kiss Konzen but instead spoke in a husky whisper.

"What did you have in mind for me to do?" Konzen cocked his head at the question before replying.

"Why don't you follow my lead?" Konzen rocked backwards and rested his backside on his heels. Again, Sanzo mirrored the action and when Konzen lightly stroked his erection, Sanzo did the same.

"Don't you wish sometimes..." Konzen paused in his stroking to give himself a light squeeze before continuing. "That we could do this to each other?"

Sanzo gave Konzen a wry grin.

"I believe I have already indicated what I would do were we able to touch each other." Sanzo followed Konzen's movements and lifted a hand to his chest, pinching each nipple in turn.

"Ah yes. I believe you did. You said you'd fuck me, didn't you? I'm not sure where you got the idea about being on top though." Sanzo watched Konzen with great interest when the other man stuck the index and middle fingers on his free hand into his mouth and commenced sucking on them. Sanzo did not copy this movement, but continued to stroke his erection.

"But since you can't actually fuck me," Konzen said once he removed the fingers from his mouth. "How about you watch me fuck myself instead?" With that, Konzen shifted his hand between his legs and circled around his opening with his index finger. Sanzo looked on in astonishment. The sight of Konzen's finger entering him and disappearing to the knuckle was one of the most erotic things he had ever seen. Sanzo stilled his hand and raised his attention to Konzen's face. The other man's eyes were barely open but he returned Sanzo's gaze.

"How does it feel?" Sanzo asked in a hoarse whisper. Konzen answered with a small smile, a throaty groan and a buck of his hips. Sanzo wondered how often Konzen had done this to himself. His movements seemed too practiced for this to be the first time. The more Sanzo thought about Konzen fingering himself like that, the more Sanzo's arousal and curiosity grew. He dragged his eyes from watching the expressions of sheer pleasure on Konzen's face back down to where one hand massaged his cock and the fingers of his other hand thrust in and out of him. Sanzo heard another groan escape Konzen's lips and as if by automatic response, Sanzo groaned. His hand moved faster, squeezing and pumping his erection. He lifted his free hand to his mouth and experimentally licked his fingers.

Konzen inwardly smirked at Sanzo's experimentation. From beneath heavy lids, he watched Sanzo wet his finger and press it against his entrance, then winced as he inserted the tip. Slowly, Sanzo drove his finger deeper, withdrawing it slightly then pushing it in. Konzen could tell the movement that the discomfort passed and pleasure set in by the quiet and shuddering sigh Sanzo gave.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Konzen asked in a low voice.

Sanzo had almost forgotten the other man's existence, he was so absorbed the sensations his finger was producing in him. At Konzen's question he raised his head and opened eyes that he wasn't aware he'd closed. They mirrored each other perfectly - flushed cheeks, damp brows, heaving chests and of course each tending to their erections and fingering themselves. Sanzo tried to calm his breathing enough to answer Konzen, but all he could manage was a curt nod.

"You've never tried this before?" Konzen asked, breathlessly. Again, Sanzo was unable to respond with a quick shake of his head. Konzen smirked and worked his erection harder. Sanzo saw the quickening of Konzen's hand and also increased his speed.

Both men watched each other giving themselves pleasure. Hands moved quickly and breaths came hard and fast. Both of them groaned and moaned in counterpoint to each other, the arousal they saw in the other fuelling the fire within their own bodies. Konzen was the first to climax, arching his back and twisting his wrist to milk himself, his fingers stilling within him. His hips bucked and all too soon, his orgasm was over. Konzen brought his fingers to his lips and flicked his tongue out to taste his seed then dropped both hands to the floor to steady himself.

The sight of Konzen bringing himself to orgasm was highly erotic and Sanzo could no longer hold back. He removed his fingers from where they stroked inside him and moved his hand around to rest his palm against the base of his penis. He massaged the base of his cock and his balls in a circular motion whilst simultaneously thrusting onto the fist that grasped and stroked him. Panting heavily he looked over at Konzen who was wringing out the last of his climax and watching Sanzo intently. As if feeling Sanzo's attention on him, Konzen looked up and flashed an exhausted but satisfied smile.

Sanzo choked back a cry and released, still holding the gaze between him and Konzen until the intensity of his orgasm forced shut his eyes and made him throw his head back to almost roar out his pleasure. He stilled his arm but kept his hand on his cock, squeezing and relaxing in time to the throbbing of his climax.

"Beautiful," Konzen commented, finally catching his breath and watching Sanzo appreciatively. What came next was always the hardest part, he mused. Both too physically and mentally exhausted to maintain their trances much past climax. The intensity and pleasure of these meetings were always marred by the abruptness of their ending; both physical bodies succumbing to tiredness and their minds quickly following. Unconsciousness meant they were no longer able to maintain the connection and try as they might, neither could put off the inevitable.

"When will we...?" Sanzo allowed the question to trail off. He already knew the answer as well as Konzen. Neither could say when their next opportunity to commune would arise - if at all. Konzen sadly shook his head. Both men faced uncertain futures. Sanzo - although he appeared to be the very epitome of confidence to his comrades - knew very well that his next fight, or the one after that, or the one after that could be his last. Likewise, amongst all the turmoil in the heavens, Konzen was unsure of his own future. Sanzo was proof that things would go awry somewhere along the line. Both men were well aware that this could be the last time they were together and both men felt prepared for that. They each considered themselves to be extremely lucky, having had this chance and if it did turn out that this was the end, then they would have the most wonderful memories of the times they had shared.

All good things must come to an end and for Konzen and Sanzo, their time together was drawing to a close. Unable to touch or embrace, they smiled at each other in the sleepy after glow of their orgasms. The lonely god and the lonely monk had found the unconditional love and affection they both said they could live without in their real lives, but actually craved within their hearts from each other. Who knew what the future held for them? All they could do was cherish what they had shared and hope that at some point - perhaps even in a different lifetime - they would have it again.

The end