Counterparts Part II

COUNTERPARTS- PART II

Armor and Sword – Rush – Peart, Lifeson, and Lee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDejLrzSPHA

The snakes and arrows a child is heir to
Are enough to leave a thousand cuts
We build our defenses, a place of safety
And leave the darker places unexplored

Sometimes the fortress is too strong
Or the love is too weak
What should have been our armor
Becomes a sharp and angry sword

Our better natures seek elevation
A refuge for the coming night
No one gets to their heaven without a fight

We hold beliefs as a consolation
A way to take us out of ourselves
Meditation, or medication
A comfort, or a promised reward

Sometimes that spirit is too strong
Or the flesh is too weak
Sometimes the need is just too great
For the solace we seek
The suit of shining armor
Becomes a keen and bloody sword

A refuge for the coming night
A future of eternal light
No one gets to their heaven without a fight

Confused alarms of struggle and flight
Blood is drained of color
By the flashes of artillery light
No one gets to their heaven without a fight
The battle flags are flown
At the feet of a god unknown
No one gets to their heaven without a fight

Sometimes the damage is too great
Or the will is too weak

What should have been our armor
Becomes a sharp and burning sword
What should have been our armor
Becomes a sharp and bloody sword
No one gets to their heaven without a fight

A refuge for the coming night
A future of eternal light
No one gets into heaven without a fight
No one…



Chapter 6

Sanzo and Hakkai did their best to keep up a façade of normalcy when in the room with Gojyo. They would talk to him as if he was awake, tell him of events in the news, any funny stories they had heard, even share any gossip they had heard in the village – anything to keep the chatter going.

Hakkai started doing some basic physical therapy with Gojyo’s lifeless form so that his muscles would not atrophy completely, and tried his best to teach Sanzo how to do it as well. It was painful for Sanzo to see Gojyo’s beautiful muscles wasting away, and his wonderful tanned skin turning pale and wan. He wondered if he would ever again see the kappa alive and vibrant as he had once been, and he tried not to think too much about the future or the past, because both tormented him.

While Gojyo’s wound in his abdomen was healing nicely, there didn’t appear to be any progress at all with the head injury. He was breathing on his own, and he could swallow, barely, if liquids were trickled down his throat, but that was about it. There was no voluntary movement, and little or no response to sound or light or even pain if Hakkai stuck him lightly with a pin or scratched his bare foot with a fingernail. Everytime Sanzo saw Hakkai do that test he remembered how exquisitely sensitive the kappa’s feet had been, and how he used to beg Sanzo to rub them for him after long days of walking, and how he would moan deeply on the very rare occasions when Sanzo caved in. Sanzo would have given anything to see the happy sated look in that Gojyo got in his eyes when Sanzo simply put lotion on his bare feet and massaged them for him. Gods, the man was so easy to make happy – why hadn’t he done it more often? Fuck knows, all the kappa ever wanted was to make him happy… all he ever cared about was to try to make Sanzo love him…

Sanzo was sitting alone in the room with Gojyo, resting in the windowseat that paralleled the bed where the kappa lay so deathly still. He looked down at his friend, his partner, and remembered more of the times they had spent together. Times that seemed so taken for granted now that Gojyo was ill, so foolishly squandered now that Gojyo might die…

Might die. Might. Die. Sanzo said it slowly to himself and tried to wrap his mind around the reality of it, the absolute hugeness of it. As a Buddhist he knew he was supposed to be philosophical about death, that it was all part of the great wheel of karma. He realized he was supposed to be sure that Gojyo would depart this life and move on to another one in some form, but goddammit, none of that would keep him warm in bed on a long rainy night. It wouldn’t fill the empty seat in jippu, or the hollow silences in conversations that were inevitable when Gojyo wasn’t there. It would not repair how boring life in this world became without the kappa’s omnipresent jokes and laughter.

He tried to imagine life without Gojyo in it, without the constant irritation and embarrassment of his constant flirtations. Would he really miss the riskiness of the illicit relationship that he had insisted on hiding from everyone, even within their own group? Couldn’t he really live without the strain of having to constantly keep the kappa at arms’ length, and having to constantly discourage him from getting too serious? Come on now, life would be so much simpler without Gojyo in it, wouldn’t it?

But it would be so… empty. Sanzo looked out the window and tried to picture his life without Gojyo’s infectious smile, his teasing voice, his sense of edgy mischief and his constant outrageous ribaldry. He had this vivid pervasive image of a bright light simply going out, leaving only a dark hollow cold in its absence. He feared that his life would again be a sad hollow sham, hurled back into stark black and white after having been, for a short while thanks to the redhead, in glorious Technicolor. The memories he had of his life before Gojyo were small flat two-dimensional ones, but as he looked at his times with Gojyo, he was forced to admit that life with the kappa in it was always a colorful larger-than-life three-dimensional extravaganza.

He knew that one of the reasons he had resented the hanyou was because he had always challenged him and pushed him, but he also knew now that in doing so he made his life so much more interesting and fun. As he looked at Gojyo in the bed now so pale and lifeless, it seemed to Sanzo to be the ultimate cruel joke, that the man that had brought so much energy and passion into his life should be lying there so very cold and still. He banged his head cruelly against the window frame as if to jar all the memories loose. He heaved a deep sigh as he settled back into the corner of the window seat and stared out into the empty night.

He remembered with a pang of irony how it was Gojyo’s lion heart, his natural drive to protect those he loved, that had indirectly brought Sanzo to his bed the first time they had spent the night together. Gods, what a night that had been…

It had been raining, and they were in the middle of Bumfucked, Nowhere, without so much as a tiny village in sight. They finally gave up on torturing both themselves and poor Hakuryu in the late afternoon and stopped in an area where Hakkai’s maps showed some decent-sized caves not too far from the road. They gathered their gear and followed a trail that looked likely, figuring the further they got from the road, the safer they would be from youkai attacks when they settled in for the night. The forest was dense, the trail narrow, and the drizzle steady and cold. By the time they made it to an area that looked suitable for camping for the night, everyone but Goku was in a thoroughly wretched mood - even Hakkai’s normally cheerful veneer was beginning to wear thin.

“Gojyo, would you please get some firewood while I set up the tents? Goku, check out that stream and please try to get us some fish for dinner. Sanzo will you check out that cave please?” Although he still managed to include a ‘please’ in each command, he was starting to sound more than a bit shrill.

“Look asshole, don’t you yell at me,” Sanzo snapped back.

“Hey, guys…” Goku tried helplessly to mediate.

“Shut-up, monkey!” Sanzo barked, ”you heard the man. Fish! Now!”

“But Sanzo…”

“Don’t make me get my gun wet!”

“Ok. Ok….,” the chastened bakasaru scampered off before things got any worse.

“Look, Sanzo, he was just trying to…..” Gojyo tried to placate the sullen monk.

“I’ll shoot you twice as fast, cockroach,” he menaced, cutting him off.

“You can be a real prick, you know that?” Gojyo muttered as he stomped off to look for wood.

Hakkai had watched the whole scene in dismay, feeling somewhat responsible, but he had sunk too far in his own wretched mood to intervene at that moment. Hakuryu sensed his master’s discomfort and curled his long damp neck around Hakkai’s and kyuu’d as soothingly as he could. Hakkai absent-mindedly scratched the little dragon on his head as he squared his shoulders and set to his work arranging the campsite, doing his best to put his gloom behind him for the time being.

“Just what exactly is it I’m supposed to be looking for, Hakkai?” Sanzo growled.

“Look, Sanzo,” Hakkai said in as level a tone as he could manage, “ I know the rain puts you in a negative frame of mind. It does the same to me. Judging from the sky it looks like it may be letting up soon. But a little extra shelter against the cold for tonight would be prudent, I think. Since this cave looks rather large, judging from the entrance, I’m simply wondering if there is enough flat space in there to set up the two tents, and then we can put a fire at the entrance. That’s all I need from you. Here is the lantern.”

“Whatever.”

Sanzo seemed unmoved from his mood by Hakkai’s plea for moderation. He stood in the shelter of the entrance of the cave and lit a cigarette, took the lantern from Hakkai, and set off wordlessly.

Within two or three hours, despite sullen moods and uncooperative weather, circumstances were improving for the little group of travelers. The four men were sitting around a warm fire at the entrance to the cave, slowly drying themselves out. Their tents were set up, cushioned nicely underneath by the soft dirt floor of the cave. Their stomachs were full of roasted freshwater trout Goku had caught, a delicious vegetable ramen Hakkai had cooked in a pot over the fire, and two-thirds of a bottle of sake Hakkai had retrieved from the provisions. Despite all of this and the fact that the rain had slowed to a sprinkle, the moods of most the Sanzo-ikkou were still sober.

The persistent silence grated on Goku like chalk skittering on a blackboard, and he fidgeted where he sat until he could take it no more. “Hey, Sanzo, you think we’ll run across Homura any more now?” he queried brightly.

“Monkey, … just …be… quiet.” the houshi spat between clenched teeth.

“I just wanna kick his ass so bad!” Goku continued. It was hard to tell if he was really that oblivious, or if he was deliberately ignoring Sanzo at his own risk just to liven up the atmosphere around the campfire.

“We all know you do, bakasaru, just chill for a while right now, ok?” Gokyo said, ruffling the monkey’s hair lovingly.

Gojyo split the remainder of the sake between himself and his friends, hoping that it might help to mellow their moods a bit.

“And just who asked for your fucking opinion, cockroach?”

“Jeez, Sanzo, just lighten up, forgoddsake! I know you feel like shit, but you don’t have to take it out on the kid all the fucking time!”

Gojyo surmised that Sanzo must have neither the gun nor the fan of doom on his person, or they would have materialized by now.

“Tch. And since when was that any of your goddamn business?” Sanzo sneered menacingly. He cursed himself for having left the fan and gun in his tent when he changed out of his damp robes.

“Since I care about the kid, that’s when,” Gojyo responded, his voice beginning to rise in anger.

“It’s ok, Gojyo, I’m used to it, really I…”

“Bullshit! You shouldn’t have to be used to it! OK, so he’s supposed to be in charge of you. That doesn’t give him the right to beat up on you all the fucking time.”

Gojyo was really getting angry now, standing and glaring daggers at Sanzo across the fire.

“Just shut the fuck up moron. You have no idea..”

Sanzo glared darkly up at Gojyo. Damn and fuck, but he would kill to have the gun in his hands right now. Never again would he make this mistake.

“Fuck you!” Gojyo snapped, cutting him off. “ We all see it and nobody ever says a damn thing about it. Well, I’m goddamn tired of it…”

Sanzo stood up now and stared back at him with his characteristic ‘fuck-but-you’re-boring’ look and the one raised eyebrow.

“Now Gojyo, I think that’s really between Sanzo and Goku, and…” Hakkai said, feeling he had to at least attempt his usual peacemaking role.

“Shut up Hakkai!” Gojyo exploded, stalking over in two long strides to stand eye-to-eye with the priest.

“I spent my whole goddamn shitty childhood getting the crap beat out of me by someone who was supposed to love me. And I know how bad it fucked me up,” he was breathing heavily now, his face nearly the color of his eyes and hair.

“Get out of my face you, fucking moron, before I do get the gun. I’m in no mood for your shit.”

Sanzo bit the words out in a sharp tone of just barely-restrained fury. He stood stock still, his eyes narrowed and blazing directly into Gojyo’s. The kappa knew it was only because the gun wasn’t in his pocket that Sanzo was not brandishing it already, but he didn’t care, in fact it egged him on.

“You can just go straight to hell, Sanzo. I’m not gonna stand by and see the same bullshit that happened to me happen to him,” he ranted, waving wildly at Goku, “ not if I can stop it. If Jien hadn’t been there to fucking stick up for me, I don’t know what the hell would have happened to me.”

“Really, Gojyo, I don’t think the two situations really bear comparison…” Hakkai said, also standing now as he again tried to smooth the troubled waters, but was roundly ignored by both parties.

“The hell they don’t, and you know it, Hakkai. You’re just too scared of his goddamn assholiness here to admit it,” Gojyo said accusingly.

Hakkai blanched at this anger coming from Gojyo. It was extremely rare for the two of them to have any kind of disagreement, and he couldn’t remember the last time – if ever – that his friend had said anything that critical of him.

The fire crackled as Gojyo and Sanzo glared furiously at each other for a moment, locked crimson to violet in an intense struggle of wills. Sanzo raised his eyebrow and gave one of his typical ‘fuck-you-all,’ bone-dry, “Tch” sounds, and that was the last straw, that was all it took to push Gojyo over the edge.

With lightening speed and demon strength he grabbed Sanzo by collar of his shirt and wrenched it so hard with his large strong hands that the monk’s feet were lifted completely off the ground. Sanzo tried hard to maintain his blasé expression, and debated with himself whether or not to struggle when he was clearly physically outclassed when it came to physical strength. Failing that he cast about in his mind for the quickest and best way to try to out-psych the enraged redhead. His heart hammered in his chest as he and Gojyo stared in each other’s eyes, and he cursed himself again for having left the gun in his tent.

Goku and Hakkai were both standing appalled, both looking more than a little panicked, and Goku’s eyes were shining with the beginnings of puzzled frightened tears. He knew Gojyo would really never hurt Sanzo, and he hated like hell to see these two men he loved more than anything going at each other like this, especially over him. Gojyo’s eyes were wild and he was practically panting now, and he looked as close to an uncontrolled wild youkai as either Hakkai or Sanzo had ever seen him look. He was truly lost in a red rage.

“Now look here, you asswipe egotistical screwed-up fucking uptight sorry-ass excuse for a priest: for some reason – and it is beyond me- that boy loves you. He thinks you are the fucking sun, moon, and the stars. If you can’t stop being an asshole long enough to see that, and stop beating on him and busting his ass, you are going to have to fucking answer to me, because I am goddamn fed up with it. I am fucking tired of seeing it day-in day-out every damn day. It’s fucking WRONG and it’s fucking got to STOP! Do you read me, loud and clear??”

Gojyo let go of Sanzo’s collar but he leaned in to stand nose to nose with him, flushed and breathing hard. He was even more agitated and confused when he realized he had a considerable hard-on, and that it would surely be visible to everyone through his tight and still slightly wet jeans.

Sanzo’s attempt at maintaining his composure through all this was betrayed by the two bright spots of color in his cheeks and the deep flush on his neck that was visible over the tank top he wore under his shirt. Gojyo couldn’t help but notice- he knew it was one of the monk’s “tells.” His pale neck would always get deeply flushed whenever he got angry, upset, or turned-on. Sanzo could feel it too and tried to ignore it, along with the ridiculous swelling he felt in his cock that began from the moment the damn kappa had grabbed him. He tried his best to ignore it and prayed to the gods no one else noticed. Just what he needed.

“Are you quite through now?” he said with as sarcastic and dry a tone as he could manage under the circumstances.

Suddenly the kappa felt a strong need to put some distance between himself and the priest. He turned on his heels and moved all the way across the campsite, where he stood leaning against a tree with his back to the group, lighting a cigarette.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” he grumbled, still fuming.

Goku’s head had been whipping around following the whole discussion, and he now had tears running down his cheeks, he was so dismayed by the whole thing. He had absolutely no idea what to do or say… Sanzo was his Sun. Surely he couldn’t be doing anything wrong where Goku was concerned… But why was Gojyo so mad? Yeah, of course, he got tired of Sanzo’s bad moods, and he sure got sick of being hit with that hard fan. But he just figured it was mostly his fault, and that sooner or later he’d figure out how not to piss off Sanzo so much. The whole thing was making his head hurt, and he just wanted it to stop.

Hakkai saw Goku’s apparent distress, and was feeling pretty miserable himself by then. He felt the need for some quiet time think about what had been said.

He got up and touched Goku on the shoulder and quietly said, “come on, Goku, let’s turn in for the night.” Goku looked up at him with grateful eyes and followed him wordlessly.

Hakkai turned to the two remaining at the fire and said, “I trust you two will have resolved this by the morning. Please see to the fire before you turn in. Goodnight, gentlemen.” With that he disappeared into the tent after Goku.

Once inside, Goku sat down out on his side of the tent, his brow furrowed with worry. “What the hell was all that about, Hakkai?”

“Well, Goku, it’s just that Gojyo has a big heart, and he feels like Sanzo is overly hard on you sometimes I guess. It made him angry on your behalf.”

“But I don’t want him to be mad at Sanzo. And I don’t want it to make Sanzo mad at me.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about it making Sanzo mad at you,” Hakkai reassured the youth. “I feel fairly confident they will work it out one way or another, Goku. Try not to worry and get some sleep.”

He rummaged around in his pack and found a snack for Goku to distract him. The youth seemed cheered and was sprawled out on his sleeping bag and and snoring happily within a few minutes. It was not as easy for the pensive youkai, as he lay on his back in the tent, mulled over the events of the evening, and tried to settle his uneasy mind.

Sanzo shifted in his seat by the campfire, glaring at the kappa. “That was certainly a nice little scene you put on.”

“You sonofabitch…” Gojyo huffed, turning around, “I meant every freaking word I said, and you know it.’

“Tch”

“You know I’m right, too, if you’d just be honest with yourself.”

He was getting irritated all over again at the monk’s arrogance. All his statement brought from Sanzo this time was a haughty snort.

Gojyo was starting to lose his patience again, and he really did not want to end up in another physical confrontation. It’s not that he didn’t want physical contact with the monk, but smashing his face in wasn’t exactly what he had in mind.

Unfortunately the hard-on he had gotten during the fight had only served to stir up all the feelings he had about Sanzo, which made this business about Goku all the more frustrating – he really did care about both of them, and the man was being so fucking hard-headed.

He sighed deeply, trying to hold back his anger. “Goddammit Sanzo, you know this is something that is really important to me. You know what happened to me when I was a kid, and you choose to completely ignore how it makes me feel when I see you beating up on the monkey.”

“Do I have to repeat myself, moron? I’ll say it again: it’s none of your damn business.”

Gojyo lost it again, exploding in a fury, “OOOOH!! You goddamn sonofabitch… I just … I … Oh….. Just go fuck the hell off, why don’t you?” At that Gojyo knew if he had to look at the monk’s arrogant puss one more minute he was going to ram his fist into it, so he spun on his heel and stomped off down the trail into the night.

Gojyo followed the trail they had come in on almost all the way back to the road. He was sitting on a fallen log smoking a ciggie, and he was beginning to contemplate chucking the whole damn thing, the whole fucking stupid “journey to the west.”

He could hitch a ride back east. He didn’t need the goddamn bouzu OR this little expedition of his. Fuck it. He could always go back to his little cabin, and his life of playing cards and chasing skirts. Maybe then he could get the thoughts of the damn monk and his sweet lips and his soft hair and his long elegant tapered fingers out of his freaking head once and for all, and just get the hell on with his life.

Yeah, it would be easy... just another hundred yards or so and he’d be at the road. Then all he’d have to do is wait, and stick out his thumb, and he’d be home before you know it. No more monkey stealing his food, no more Hakkai fussing over him and correcting him, and no goddamn prissy-ass monk making his life a living hell.

Sanzo sat at the campfire only a few minutes before he said simply “Oh, goddammit to hell,” out loud to no on in particular and took off.

A few minutes later he sat down quietly beside the kappa, startling him out of his fantasies of escape.

“What the … How the hell did you find me?” Gojyo asked him, surprised.

“Well, for one thing, you sounded like a two-thousand-pound gorilla crashing through the woods, so it wasn’t too hard.” He lit a cigarette of his own off of Gojyo’s.

“Why?” was the kappa’s simple query.

Sanzo took a deep drag on his cigarette and sighed, “look….I know I’m hard on the monkey. Sometimes I’m too hard. I didn’t have too much parenting for too long myself as you know, so I am flying by the seat of my pants here. He is such a loose cannon, I’m afraid if I cut him any slack he’ll go wild, so I keep him on a short rope. Sometimes I guess I try too hard.”

Gojyo looked up at the monk and smiled. He knew just how rare a treasure such a moment of self-disclosure was from Sanzo, not to mention how unusual it was for Sanzo to come that close to ever saying he was sorry or admitting he had been wrong. He was truly moved.

“Is that an apology, Cherry-Chan?” he flirted, leaning so hard against Sanzo on the log he almost knocked him off.

“Don’t push your luck…” Sanzo started to say, but before he could get the entire sentence out Gojyo had swept him into his arms and pressed his lips to the monk’s in a passionate kiss that set both of their heartbeats racing madly.

Sanzo’s arms quickly came up around the kappa, surrounding him and pulling him close. The tension of the fight had stirred up all the other feelings he had for the erogappa as well, and he had been thinking of just this the whole time he had been walking down the path after him, but had realized he had no idea how to press his suit. “How does one get from ‘hello’ to a passionate kiss without looking like a complete idiot?” The question had completely stymied him as he followed the kappa down the wooded path, but the thought of having the man in his arms again had filled him with nervous anticipation.

Gojyo was the first to break the kiss. Breathless, he dropped his head and nuzzled Sanzo’s neck below his ear.

“Gods, Sanzo, I was thinking about leaving…” he ran his tongue along the outside of the shell of Sanzo’s ear and the monk shivered.

“I don’t ever want to leave you…”

Sanzo pulled him closer and fisted Gojyo’s hair to pull his mouth to his again, taking possession of his mouth fiercely. He plundered Gojyo’s mouth with his tongue, groaning deeply in his throat at the feelings that swept through him. Gojyo pulled them both to their feet so they could better embrace each other’s full lengths, and it was obvious as they did that they were both already fully-aroused.

“I’ve thought about this ..about you…” Sanzo said huskily.

Gojyo pulled his head back far enough to be able to really look into Sanzo’s eyes when he said that.

“You have no idea what it means to me to hear you say that, Sanzo-chan,” he said, and kissed him this time with a tender passion that made Sanzo almost dizzy with want.

Gojyo looked into his eyes again and in a serious voice said two words, “Tent, now.”

With that he grabbed Sanzo’s hand and dragged the monk at top speed back down the trail to the camp. Fortunately when they got there the other tent was dark, and two steady snoring sounds, one soft and quiet and one loud and raggedy, issued from it. Gojyo dutifully policed up the campfire as he had been asked, and led Sanzo into their tent.

Hakkai in his usual chivalry had yielded the larger tent to them, the roomier one large enough to stand up in. Gojyo trimmed the lantern wick back to a soft glow and stacked all the sleeping bags and blankets together in one soft pile. He pulled the monk to him for a long lingering embrace.

Gojyo was grateful that Sanzo had exchanged his vestments for street clothes before dinner, as these were much easier to take off. They slowly stripped each other item-by-item and lay down together on the soft pallet to begin exploring the wonder of each other’s naked bodies. Sanzo reveled in the kappa’s dark skin, his long muscular arms and legs, and the rippled muscles of his abdomen.

Gojyo’s youkai senses went wild for the smells of Sanzo’s body, the spicy smell of his hair, the clean yet sweaty smell of his skin, the erotic man-smell of his balls, and the hot woody smell over all of him from the campfire. But the scent that got to him the most, the one went straight to his dick, was that distinct smell that human males emit when aroused, and that one was increasing with every minute.

Gojyo started worshiping Sanzo’s body with his tongue, laving him all over with little kisses and tiny licks, and the monk squirmed and moaned under his ministrations. He nipped gently at Sanzo’s hardened nipple and then sucked at it when Sanzo cried out in pleasure and surprise. He then knelt between the houshi’s legs as if worshiping at a fleshly altar, and kneaded the muscles of his lean thighs before washing his tight balls with a rain of little kisses and licks. When Sanzo panted and bucked his hips in excitement Gojyo decided to tease him a little more, and reached up and trailed his hand lightly up and down Sanzo’s shaft. Sanzo softly cried out Gojyo’s name, arching up into his hand and desperately wanting more.

Gojyo found he missed the monk’s sweet mouth, so he raised himself up over his lover, supporting himself on his arms, and stared into Sanzo’s amethyst eyes, now gone quite dark with need. Before kissing him he dipped and swiveled his hips and sensuously ground their hard shafts together twice and then he took possession of the monk’s groaning mouth once again.

The kappa then lay back down beside Sanzo on their soft pallet on the floor of the tent and kissed his way back down to the priest’s straining cock. Sanzo moaned as his lover teased the tip of his dick with swirls of his tongue, over and over, and tried to push himself up into Gojyo’s mouth, so great was his desire for more. He reached down and held Gojyo’s head in his hand, his slender fingers laced into the kappa’s crimson hair, and he sat up on his elbow watching the kappa intently with his hooded violet eyes.

Gojyo looked up at him and smiled, “ why, you little voyeur!” he teased. “So you like to watch, do you?”

Loving that Sanzo was watching him, he ran his tongue lavishly up and down the length of Sanzo’s pulsing member. Sanzo groaned in response, and Gojyo laughed wickedly deep in his throat. “OK my love, watch this,” he said and he deep-throated Sanzo all the way to his root.

The feeling of being completely engulfed in the kappa’s hot mouth, combined with the visual stimulation of seeing how erotic the whole thing looked by the lantern light in the tent, was more than Sanzo could bear and he cried out “AH Gojyo! ” and almost came then and there. The kappa felt his early spasms and stopped and held completely still for a few moments with Sanzo just as he was, buried deep in his mouth, to let him adjust to the feeling momentarily and regain a measure of control.

Feeling Sanzo’s climax so close and seeing him so turned on had brought the kappa dangerously close himself, and his own cock was dripping, hard, and twitching as it lay pressed against Sanzo’s muscular leg.

Once he felt they had both regained a little control Gojyo started slowly running his mouth up and down Sanzo’s shaft, sucking harder now, and swirling his tongue around the head each time he reached the top. As he made his strokes up and down he tightened his lips against his teeth so his mouth would feel tight and hard against Sanzo’s cock as he moved it up and down – that simple change drove the blonde man closer still to the brink of coming. Every few strokes he would pull his head up and just work on the head, running his tongue around it, lightly brushing it with his teeth, and gently pointing his tongue into the slit. Each new movement elicited more gasps and moans from Sanzo, whose eyes watched every move the kappa made with the intensity of a white-hot flame.

As Sanzo’s moans became louder his hips started moving involuntarily, he strained to thrust himself deeper into Gojyo’s mouth as he moved up and down his shaft. Without even realizing it, because he was so turned on by his lover’s enjoyment of his ministrations, the kappa was increasing the intensity of his strokes and his speed to match the monk’s need, and before long Sanzo started to feel a tightening in his groin and his muscles starting to spasm. He felt as if the entire universe had constricted down into the unbelievably intense ball of white hot pleasure he felt gathering in his cock and there was nothing left but for it to shatter into a million brilliant stars.

He tried to pull Gojyo’s head away, but the kappa only smiled and increased his speed and his tight hold on his lovers cock just enough to push him over that glorious edge. He pulled the whole of his length deep into his mouth as he felt Sanzo start to come and stilled there, only gently tonguing it in his mouth as his lover came.

Sanzo arched his back and froze as he felt those first spasms turn into a glorious electrical explosion throughout his whole body, burying his fingers deep in Gojyo’s hair and chanting his name in a deep moan. With the kappa’s hot mouth surrounding his cock, the feeling of coming in that delicious soft warmth was so intense it was almost beyond toleration. Gojyo held his lover’s pulsing dick as deep in his throat as he could as he came, buried and engulfed, swallowing his essence gratefully. He froze in place as Sanzo’s orgasm subsided, keeping his cock in his mouth, holding it afterwards sucking ever-so-gently as the pulsations continued and slowly subsided.

After a small while, when the world slowly started to return back to normal from that place of explosions and heat that it had been, Gojyo reluctantly let Sanzo’s cock slide out of his mouth. He kissed it softly as if he were saying goodbye to a dear friend and slid back up next to Sanzo on their pallet in the tent. Sanzo reached out to him and pulled him close, his heart still thrumming madly.

Gojyo’s heart was beating fast as well, but for a different reason. He was skittish about what would happen next, now that Sanzo’s desire was sated. The priest had let his walls down substantially, and with Sanzo that usually only meant one thing, that they would slam right back up. He looked at the monk with one eyebrow raised. “How’re you doing?” he inquired as softly and non-threateningly as he could.

“Mmmmm,” was the mumbled reply, sounding pleased, but nonetheless rather uninformative.

“You feeling ok?” Gojyo dared question a little further.

“Cigarette,” was the mumbled reply.

“Sure thing. Hang on.”

Gojyo scrambled around in the tent for their packs and his lighter. He lit one for Sanzo and one for himself, and lay down beside Sanzo pulling a light blanket over both of them. Gojyo lay on his side propping himself up on one elbow so he could look at Sanzo.

“Gods, Sanzo… you really look amazing in this light.”

“ Tch. Don’t be a moron.”

“No, really, you do. It makes my heart hurt.”

“Baka. Horseshit.”

Sanzo scowled at him from under lowered eyelashes, but Gojyo could see even in the low light that his slightly bemused expression somewhat belied his words. The monk did have his vain side.

Sanzo stubbed out his cigarette and stretched a lazily and yawned.

“You sleepy, baby?”

“Yeah, kinda. It’s been a long day. And quit calling me baby, stupid cockroach,” Sanzo grumbled sleepily, with just the slightest hint of a smile betraying him as he looked at Gojyo through drowsy eyelids.

“Sanzo?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I sleep next to you?”

“ Tch! You think I was gonna throw you out into the cold night and make you sleep under a tree?”

“Knowing you, you just might. No, I mean, can I sleep next to you, can I hold you?”

“Oh, good grief…”

Before he could put up too much fight, Gojyo held out his arms to him, and with only a moderate amount of grumbling Sanzo slid under, resting his head on the kappa’s chest and wrapping his other arm lazily around Gojyo’s waist. Gojyo kissed him on the top of his head and gently trailed his hand up and down Sanzo’s back. He heard a sigh from the monk that sounded dangerously like one of contentment, and within ten seconds he was snoring softly. Gojyo smiled to himself, and decided to simply enjoy the moment for what it was, and let tomorrow take care of itself

Two hours later the sky had cleared, the moon had risen high in the night sky, and a fine dew had fallen on the tents of the sleeping Sanzo-ikkou. Gojyo had fallen asleep about ten minutes after Sanzo, with his arms still happily wrapped around the monk.

Something seemed to be waking Gojyo up, but at first he wasn’t sure if he was really waking up or if it was just another of those dreams he seemed to be having so often lately, the ones that featured him and the monk in a variety of interesting situations, usually unclothed.

Something was different this time, though. He didn’t remember his dreams ever involving being able to smell Sanzo, and he could definitely smell him very clearly as he re-surfaced from his deep contented sleep.

And he now had the distinct and vivid sensation that the monk lying next to him was… was… was… biting and sucking on… his nipple? The Sanzo in his dreams didn’t usually bite, at least not… that… hard!!!…

“Oi!! Monk!”

Gojyo opened one crimson eye and looked down to see the top of Sanzo’s golden head as the monk kissed and sucked and nipped at his hardened nub.

“Yeow!” he yelped in obviously exaggerated pain.

Sanzo looked up at him, “I thought I was going to have to gnaw it off. What the hell does it take to wake you up, anyway?” he said with a feigned exasperation.

“What are you up to? I thought you were down for the count?” Gojyo asked, a smile crinkling around his crimson eyes.

“We have to talk.” Sanzo said, sounding somewhat grave.

Gojyo was totally puzzled now. “Ok”, he thought, to himself, “I gave him a blow job, so now he bites the crap out of my nipple, so he could wake me up in the middle of the night, just so he can dump my ass... Shit, this fucker’s way crazier than I ever imagined…”

“You forgot something very important about me, Gojyo. And that’s not good,” Sanzo pronounced in a very serious voice.

“Oh fuck me,” Gojyo thought, “fuck fuckity fuck fuck. What the hell did I do now? Well, so much for all hopes of anything ever happening between us again – he’s gonna call an end to that right now but good. He just wanted to get a little nap in before he dumped me. Fuck. Might as well take your medicine and get it on with it, Gojyo “.

“Ok Sanzo. Go ahead and give it to me. Just get it over with.”

He heaved a big sigh and started to get out of the pallet. Just because he had to take it didn’t mean he had to take it lying down…

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

Sanzo’s hand snaked out like lightning and grabbed his wrist in an iron grip.

”Come here,” he commanded, and pulled Gojyo down to him for a deep passionate kiss.

Gojyo’s stomach instantly had a tight knot of heat in it from the monk’s aggressive invading kiss, and he was immediately aroused.

“Now, there is one thing you forgot about me, Gojyo, and it’s very important.”

He pulled the redhead down under him and started kissing and nipping his way down his neck and chest. Gojyo gasped in delight.

“What you seem to have forgotten is that I… “ he bit the kappa’s nipple, “always…“ he ran his tongue around his navel, “pay… my… debts.”

At that he took the whole of the kappa’s now fully-hardened length in his mouth, and proceeded to prove that earlier in the evening he had not been merely a simple voyeur, but also a very keen observer of everything that the kappa had done for him, and a little bit more.

*******************************

Dear Yaone,

I was pleased so pleased to hear from you again. I had not expected to hear from you prior to your visit, so it was a pleasant surprise. I am glad that Dokugakuji was so understanding regarding the circumstances that led to his brother’s injury. While it would be understandable for him to be upset, it would be an unfortunate thing for Sanzo to have to deal with right now, as I fear he is punishing himself far more severely about this matter than anyone else ever could.

Yaone, I wish you could see the pain in his eyes as he looks at Gojyo lying there in that bed… it simply breaks my heart. Nothing I can say seems to convince him that it was not his fault, that Gojyo was simply being Gojyo, and that he acted out of love like he always did, and that was simply the kind of man he was. Oh, Yaone there I go again, talking about Gojyo in the past tense, like he has left us already. But it is so hard, when I see him lying there day after day getting, weaker and weaker, and in my head I know with every day that passes his chances get less and less for a meaningful recovery.

It’s just breaking my heart, Yaone. Sanzo never leaves his side, except to go for a walk in town now and then. It’s more than just that he blames himself for what happened. I think he is tormented with things he never said and feelings that he took for granted. I remember from when I lost my Kanan, how easy it was to get buried in regrets and guilt– it is a thing I still struggle with to this day.

Well, please forgive my running on so like this. It has been so lonely – normally Gojyo is my friend that I talk with and unburden myself to, and I certainly can’t let Sanzo or Goku see me being upset or melodramatic. Things are tense enough here as it is.

I truly look forward to seeing you as well as the rest of your party later this week. Your rooms are ready, and your presence will be a welcome respite in these gloomy days.

Warmly,

Hakkai