Fast Food
folder
+M to R › One Piece
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,699
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+M to R › One Piece
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,699
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own One Piece, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Fast Food
WARNING!!! - This fic is complete crack. I thought of it as I ate the first MacDonalds I've had in ages and suddenly these words popped into my head: 'Hmm...I wonder what Sanji would think of greasy fast food...'
Then those words were also mentally answered with these ones: 'Ooh!! Let's write a crack fic about it!!'
So here you are. Zoro takes Sanji to MacDonalds. Enjoy, if that's at all possible.
------------------
"What is this?"
"A restaurant."
"No it's not."
"Yeah it is, look. It says so over there." Zoro pointed to the large sign indicating that, yes, this was a restaurant. Sanji frowned a little.
"What kind of food is served here?" he asked sceptically, looking around at the customers and their children playing in the overly colourful play area.
"Fast food," Zoro answered, staring up at the illuminated menu above the counter. Sanji glanced up too.
"Oh...it's all burgers and fries..." he said plainly. Zoro nodded, and without waiting for Sanji to decide, walked over to the counter, ignoring the questioning looks from the girl serving as she eyed his swords warily.
"Welcome...may I take your order?" she asked slowly, still watching his three companions as they jilted at his hip when he stopped before her.
"Yeah, gimmie two Big Macs, two large fries and two large cokes," he said, still staring at the menu above him. Sanji glared.
"I'll just have water, Zoro," he said, glancing the girl behind the counter up and down briefly, eventually deciding that the MacDonalds uniform was the most unflattering thing he'd ever seen. She nodded, adjusting their order on her computer screen and looked back up.
"Is that all? We have a deal on desserts today-" she began.
"Nah, that's fine," Zoro interrupted. She blinked and nodded, moving away to put their order in. Sanji looked around again as Zoro leaned back against the fake marble, picking up a plastic straw and chewing on it idly.
"Sir! I'm sorry sir but it's no smoking in here," a little plump man with a mustache almost as big as his face said, scuttling over to Sanji and pointing to a sign right in front of him. Sanji stared at him, wide eyed, but allowed him to pluck the cigarette from his mouth and dash outside.
"Now I know it's not a restaurant. Real ones have smoking areas," he said, looking around again. Zoro sighed and tilted his head back, ignoring all the looks from the customers as they stared at the two out of place pirates.
"Look, you said you were hungry. Quit bitching," he said wearily, glancing over his shoulder as the girl came back, clutching two paper bags.
"Yeah but...we could have gone anywhere..." Sanji said, lowering his voice slightly. Zoro decided to ignore him and snatched the bags as Sanji leaned over for the drinks.
"That's $12.49 please," the girl announced, and Sanji almost fell over.
"That's fucking cheap!" he said loudly, staring at her with wide eyes. She stared back at him, wondering if he really was insane. Zoro grumbled something about making a spectacle and shoved some money onto the counter before grabbing the cook and yaking him away to a table by the window.
"Do you have to be so goddamn surprised over everything?" he muttered, throwing Sanji into the seat across from him and pushing his food over to him.
"There's no way you're getting quality food for that price. No wonder this place looks like a shithole..." Sanji said quietly, still looking about.
"Shut up and eat, idiot," Zoro said through a mouthful of meat and bread. Sanji sniffed a little at his bag before pulling his burger out and inspecting it closely.
"See? No care has gone into preparing this. It's like mass production or something. It doesn't even look nice...are they trying to put people off food for life?" he ranted. Zoro eventually kicked him under the table, which was returned immediately and made his eyes water.
Sanji eyed the burger for a moment longer before taking one last experimental sniff and then a small bite, rolling his tongue around it to take on it's full flavor.
"Well?" Zoro asked after a moment, his own meal completely demolished as he sucked lazily on his straw.
Sanji stayed quiet for a moment, savouring the taste before muttering an answer.
"It's okay I guess..."
-------------------
Yep, that's what you get for bitching about MacDonalds, Sanji.
Thank's for reading this crap ^^
Then those words were also mentally answered with these ones: 'Ooh!! Let's write a crack fic about it!!'
So here you are. Zoro takes Sanji to MacDonalds. Enjoy, if that's at all possible.
------------------
"What is this?"
"A restaurant."
"No it's not."
"Yeah it is, look. It says so over there." Zoro pointed to the large sign indicating that, yes, this was a restaurant. Sanji frowned a little.
"What kind of food is served here?" he asked sceptically, looking around at the customers and their children playing in the overly colourful play area.
"Fast food," Zoro answered, staring up at the illuminated menu above the counter. Sanji glanced up too.
"Oh...it's all burgers and fries..." he said plainly. Zoro nodded, and without waiting for Sanji to decide, walked over to the counter, ignoring the questioning looks from the girl serving as she eyed his swords warily.
"Welcome...may I take your order?" she asked slowly, still watching his three companions as they jilted at his hip when he stopped before her.
"Yeah, gimmie two Big Macs, two large fries and two large cokes," he said, still staring at the menu above him. Sanji glared.
"I'll just have water, Zoro," he said, glancing the girl behind the counter up and down briefly, eventually deciding that the MacDonalds uniform was the most unflattering thing he'd ever seen. She nodded, adjusting their order on her computer screen and looked back up.
"Is that all? We have a deal on desserts today-" she began.
"Nah, that's fine," Zoro interrupted. She blinked and nodded, moving away to put their order in. Sanji looked around again as Zoro leaned back against the fake marble, picking up a plastic straw and chewing on it idly.
"Sir! I'm sorry sir but it's no smoking in here," a little plump man with a mustache almost as big as his face said, scuttling over to Sanji and pointing to a sign right in front of him. Sanji stared at him, wide eyed, but allowed him to pluck the cigarette from his mouth and dash outside.
"Now I know it's not a restaurant. Real ones have smoking areas," he said, looking around again. Zoro sighed and tilted his head back, ignoring all the looks from the customers as they stared at the two out of place pirates.
"Look, you said you were hungry. Quit bitching," he said wearily, glancing over his shoulder as the girl came back, clutching two paper bags.
"Yeah but...we could have gone anywhere..." Sanji said, lowering his voice slightly. Zoro decided to ignore him and snatched the bags as Sanji leaned over for the drinks.
"That's $12.49 please," the girl announced, and Sanji almost fell over.
"That's fucking cheap!" he said loudly, staring at her with wide eyes. She stared back at him, wondering if he really was insane. Zoro grumbled something about making a spectacle and shoved some money onto the counter before grabbing the cook and yaking him away to a table by the window.
"Do you have to be so goddamn surprised over everything?" he muttered, throwing Sanji into the seat across from him and pushing his food over to him.
"There's no way you're getting quality food for that price. No wonder this place looks like a shithole..." Sanji said quietly, still looking about.
"Shut up and eat, idiot," Zoro said through a mouthful of meat and bread. Sanji sniffed a little at his bag before pulling his burger out and inspecting it closely.
"See? No care has gone into preparing this. It's like mass production or something. It doesn't even look nice...are they trying to put people off food for life?" he ranted. Zoro eventually kicked him under the table, which was returned immediately and made his eyes water.
Sanji eyed the burger for a moment longer before taking one last experimental sniff and then a small bite, rolling his tongue around it to take on it's full flavor.
"Well?" Zoro asked after a moment, his own meal completely demolished as he sucked lazily on his straw.
Sanji stayed quiet for a moment, savouring the taste before muttering an answer.
"It's okay I guess..."
-------------------
Yep, that's what you get for bitching about MacDonalds, Sanji.
Thank's for reading this crap ^^