Shadows

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just wrote this fanfic, a couple hours ago. I was walking around and was about to do work stuff, but then...this idea came into my head of Soubi kissing Ritsuka while Ritsuka was asleep. So I sat down, and started writing.

This fanfic is currently planned to be only 2-3 chapters, but might become more.

NOTE, this fanfic defies some things, such as:
1) The fact that, well, Ritsuka would TOTALLY wake up while certain things are...being done to him
2) Some canon manga stuff

I've only read up to book 7 of the manga, so please don't put SPOILERS in your review! Like about Seimei and Septimal Moon...and I know it's silly to have Ritsuka still researching Septimal Moon at age 15...but I used that as a device in the fic.

Anyway, happy reading!

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SHADOWS

by lordoberon


PART ONE

Soubi's POV
- - - - - -

The shadows always made Ritsuka seem like something darker and stranger, to Soubi. It almost scared him a little to see them creeping across Ritsuka's face. The night was cold and lonely, and the tree that Soubi climbed up to get to Ritsuka's balcony was shaking in the wind. Its leaves left those hazy shadows across Ritsuka's cheek that made Soubi want to hold Ritsuka close.

Everything was darker, lately. Ritsuka was fifteen and in highschool now, and Yuiko and Yayoi were attending a different school. It was with a silent stare that Ritsuka went about things, falling away from the joy his friends had given him and into a zombie sort of state. Soubi had taken to letting the boy accompany him to his apartment after school, because Ritsuka didn't want to be alone.

The boy was tired every day and every night, it seemed. A heavier workload, his friends' absence, and his continued strain to research Septimal Moon kept him constantly busy. Even when he was just sitting down, Soubi could see that the wheels in Ritsuka's brain were turning, busy busy, cyling through some new idea or thought. Only when Ritsuka was with Soubi in his apartment did he seem peaceful.

They would sit down and Soubi would paint. Ritsuka would watch. His body would be splayed out beside Soubi's canvas on the floor, or he would sit on his haunches, or he would hover over Soubi's shoulder. Soubi didn't mind. He enjoyed having Ritsuka so close, and he was happy that his paintings could bring the warmth back into Ritsuka's eyes. For Soubi, his paintings were often cold things, for by painting them he would bring out his anger or sadness and place it in the painting, instead. It was this raw emotion in his flowers and butterflies and ghosts of faces that often made people call his paintings beautiful.

Around Ritsuka, Soubi found himself painting new things. His ghosts of faces would become the faces of people he had seen on the subway, or classmates. Occasionally he would paint a face that resembled Ritsuka a little, but then Ritsuka would laugh and blush and say, "Don't paint me. I don't want to see me. I see me in the mirror every morning."

And Soubi would say, "But painting is like taking pictures, Ritsuka. It's memories."

So Ritsuka would assent, but before Soubi was finished, he would fall asleep. So there was now an ongoing untitled series of Ritsukas - Ritsuka on the floor curled into a ball, his heavy coat keeping him warm. Ritsuka on the couch, sleeping. Ritsuka on Soubi's bed, his hair splayed out on Soubi's pillow. The scent of Ritsuka would be left there to simultaneously soothe and agonize Soubi later on. It was a rich, heavy scent, but also subtle like roses. Soubi could recognize Ritsuka's scent, but he doubted Ritsuka could recognize his.

And when Soubi was done, he put the paintings away, and Ritsuka didn't ask to see the paintings of himself. One of the paintings though he had kept, because it had been Soubi's birthday present to Ritsuka a half a year ago. It was two figures walking in the woods, one blonde head one dark, with their hands held and their backs facing the viewer. The leaves were green and red and gold in autumn, and the sun shone down to light a halo around the two figures' heads.

Soubi hadn't meant anything particular by it, but Ritsuka insisted that it was them, and that one day, that's where they would be: a place free from others' hands and free from the worlds' troubles, because they were with each other. They would escape the darkness that tried to envelop them, and walk in a place that was theirs and theirs alone, a place where the path would keep on going towards endless possibilities. Where love was just a touch of hands away...

But though he spoke of such things, Ritsuka didn't seem to know how to reach that light at all. He doggedly worked at school, and accompanied Soubi on walks and excursions, even into the city a few times to go to art stores. But his eyes remained brooding, so often darkened with sadness.

Lately, Soubi had worked to help Ritsuka escape the shadows. He had Yuiko, Yayoi, and even Natsuo and Youji visit for Ritsuka's birthday, and again more recently. Soubi could see the shadows falling away from Ritsuka. The sun shone through recently, when they went to an amusement park, and shared their first "grown-up" kiss by the fountain. Ritsuka was old enough now that he looked at Soubi differently. Soubi had noticed the eyes the boy made at him when he thought Soubi wasn't looking. And he had certainly noticed the passion in Ritsuka's hugs and kisses. But he had only permitted the kiss with tongues recently, because he didn't want to scare Ritsuka away. He was worried that maybe it would become another thing for Ritsuka to worry over.

But Ritsuka had reacted eagerly, sinking into Soubi's embrace, his arms around Soubi's neck as he tiptoed to reach Soubi's lips.

It was remembering the eagerness that had made Soubi decide, mid-homework project with Kio, to visit Ritsuka late at night.

"Sou-chan! You can't leave now! We're almost finished!"

Soubi had smiled. "I know, Kio. We're almost done. So I can leave, right? I trust you. You can do it." And he had given Kio a grateful smile, leaving the man stammering and blushing in an attempt to hold onto his rage. Now Soubi was here sitting on Ritsuka's bed.

The boy had not known to wait for Soubi, but he had still stayed up late. (This he did when Soubi came to visit - it was a bad habit they had gotten into, because Ritsuka insisted that he shouldn't be sleeping when Soubi was visiting, but Soubi wanted Ritsuka to get enough sleep).

This time, it was homework that had kept Ritsuka up late, but it looked like he had fallen asleep halfway through it. He was sprawled on the bed on his back, his right arm bent and other flung outward, legs crushing a calculator and wrinkling page 57 of "Gorbidor's Economics Study Guide."

Ritsuka was usually tidy, but in his dark moods sometimes he just sat and brooded and left everything a mess. Soubi knew Seimei would have disapproved, but Seimei wasn't here anymore.

There was other evidence of schoolwork and chaos all over Ritsuka's bed. Textbooks and notebooks were sprawled all over Ritsuka's bed. A pile of them sat precariously at the foot of it, and half-finished math homework sat crumpled beneath Ritsuka's elbow. A pencil lay by Ritsuka's wrist, and an eraser was trapped with an empty mug and a bag of chips in the sheets by Ritsuka's tail. The wallet that Ritsuka had taken to tucking in the back of his pants was still attached by a chain to his belt. Soubi knew it had a picture in it of Seimei as a young boy, Seimei when he was older, Ritsuka's absent father, and recent ones of Soubi, Osamu, Yuiko, and Yayoi.

The shadows on Ritsuka's cheek fell onto the pillow by Ritsuka's soft cheek, and the slightly curled in fingers. They had become long and tapering like Soubi's fingers, and the boy had lost some of his baby look. He was taller and leaner now, and his shoe size something that Yuiko continued to tease him about. But his hair remained the same cut, and his ears were as soft as Soubi remembered. It was taboo to play with anothers ears and tails much - like flirting, or something intimate you would only do with someone you knew very well. But Soubi liked to touch Ritsuka's ears, to remind him of Ritsuka's innocence, and because they were so soft. He liked to lean down and brush his cheek against them, earning him a glare or "idiot" from Ritsuka.

He leaned over Ritsuka's form now, smelling that delightful scent that made shivers run down his spine. His hand played with the loops of Ritsuka's trousers and he touched the wallet chain. As his fingers ran up it he pushed up the hem of Ritsuka's tanktop a little. The boy's skin was hot to touch, and soft. Soubi petted the hot skin of Ritsuka's belly, circling the navel. His finger paused as the boy stirred in his sleep. That dark head of hair turned a little, and now Soubi could see all of Ritsuka's face in the moonlight.

It was wrong to do this, but he couldn't resist. He lifted his cheek from touching the gently twitching cat ears. Slowly, his breath held in hopes to not wake the boy, he put his cheek against Ritsuka's. Then, he tilted his head up, and let his lips touch Ritsuka's in a ghost kiss.

His fingers on Ritsuka's stomach moved up slowly, pushing the shirt up with it. He brushed his thumb over the dusky pink of the boy's nipples. Ritsuka was a heavy sleeper when he was tired enough. Why am I doing this? I shouldn't be doing this. But his fingers kept moving of their own accord. Soubi pressed his mouth against Ritsuka's one more time, a little harder, and then forced himself to sit up. He was about to stand and leave when he heard a little sound. It sounded like a moan.

"Ritsuka?"

He looked back at the boy. That face was still shining in the moonlight, shadows gone. The boy lay as he had, and his eyes weren't open. Long lashes sat against porcelain cheeks. But the boy's mouth opened, and he said, "Soubi..."

It was the slurring, mumbling sound of a sleepwalker's speech. Soubi bent over Ritsuka again, whispering the boy's name.

"Ritsuka? Are you awake?"

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fanfic's beginning is deeper than I intended. It has depth, story, plot (like Ritsuka being depressed, etc). So that is why if I come up with ideas, I might make this fic more than 2 PWP chapters.

More coming soon! I promise the next chapter is...more adult. ;D
Reviews appreciated. :)