Fade to White

WARNING: This story contains extreme violence and sexual violence, blood, torture and mutilation. If you're not comfortable with these themes, please don't read this fic.

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*** For M, Merry Christmas! ***

There's something that's calling me into the night
A forest of dreams

It's there you'll see
And there there's no reason reality can't come from our
Dreams

Inner Glow - Eri Nobuchika


Everything was white.

Sound at the door woke Mukuro up from his slumber and he tried to lift his head to turn to look only to find he couldn't. Blood was starting to crust on his face, gluing it to the desk he had been left on, but moving opened something and he could smell fresh blood again. He still couldn't open his right eye and the pain of trying made the right side of his face throb - Mukuro automatically tried to retreat from the corporeal body he was currently occupying but found his mind bouncing off the shell.

"You're still trying, Mukuro-kuu-un?" Byakuran elongated the last syllable playfully as he approached the desk. "You won't be able to escape me..."

Mukuro tried to reply but his mouth was dry and only sound that passed through his chapped lips resembled a growl. Byakuran was close now, running his fingertips along Mukuro's bare arm - he remembered dimly being on his knees, someone tearing his coat off him and Byakuran waving a white belt in front him, the man's lips moving but the buzzing sound in Mukuro's ears had gotten so loud he couldn't hear anything and then the blackness had fallen. He tried moving his arms now but they were secured tightly, and the leather belt was digging into his arms.

"Yes... not so used to body and soul both restrained, are you Mukuro-kuu-un..." Byakuran's voice was soft, almost purring as his fingers danced on Mukuro's restrained arms.
"I... I though you said you were going to kill me..." Mukuro's voice was just a croak and moving his jaw sent searing pain from his injured eye. Something was wrong...

Byakuran laughed softly as he moved a few strands of blood-sticky hair from Mukuro's seeing eye making sure the man was looking at him.

"But I had such a raging hard-on looking at you, weeping on your knees, I changed my mind and decided to make you my little whore instead..." he said and the words took few moments to sink in because the tone Byakuran had used was so cheerful and completely out of tune with his crude words.

When the white-haired man saw his words take effect he pushed his fingers through Mukuro's matted hair and took a hold of it with a painful grip.

"Don't you think I don't know you little cock-tease, the way throw me your little smiles, the way you move your ass... You're practically begging for it, you slut..." Byakuran was smiling despite his words, bringing his face so close Mukuro could feel his breath on his cheek.
"Fuck... off..." he managed before Byakuran shook him by the hair like a rag doll and the pain made Mukuro groan despite his best intentions.
"There, there... now we have to do something about that temper of yours..." Byakuran purred and then let go.

Mukuro watched him go and pick something up from a close by low table and come back. Item Byakuran was holding was a thick white leather collar with a white leash attached to it, and Byakuran smiled as his slim fingers opened the heavy buckles. He slipped a finger between Mukuro's tie and his neck and pulled, and for few second the silky fabric burned Mukuro's neck until the tie was opened and discarded somewhere on the floor. Then he smelled the leather and felt the cool immovable collar on his neck and heard the clink of the buckles as Byakuran locked the it tightly in place, forcing Mukuro's neck straight.

"I like it... It suits you..." Byakuran smiled as he gave the collar a tug with the leash. "Come on then, little dog..."

Even if Mukuro had wanted to obey the derogatory command he wouldn't have been able to move, lying heavily on the desk. Next tug was more forceful and Mukuro growled, the stabbing pain from his eye making him blink. Next pull yanked him off the desk, without being able to soften the fall with his hands behind his back he fell heavy to his face and this time he was unable to stop from crying out loud and the pain made him black out for few seconds. Next thing he was aware of was the collar digging into his neck as Byakuran held him upright on his knees, with blood trickling down his cheek and making a soft plop sound hitting the white marble tiles on the floor.

"Stay with me, dog..." Byakuran said. "I know the blood loss is making you weak... but if you behave I'll get someone to look at it later on..."

Something unpleasant was knotting in the pit of Mukuro's stomach, something which he hadn't felt for years, something he had tried very hard to forget. He closed his eye, breathed deep and went back, way back to the old mantra... stay alive... as long as there is life, there is hope... Memories from his childhood came back in flashes: the room had been white then too, and they too had had him bound and helpless in front of them. Stay alive... His mantra was interrupted by Byakuran's heavy boot on his thigh, pressing him down while the collar was pulling him up.

"I said stay with me, dog... You're only allowed to close your eyes when I say so... " Byakuran's face lit up like he just though something. "Or should I say 'eye'... seeing you only have one left... or haven't you figured that out yet?"

Mukuro jerked as the words hit him.

"What... what did you do?" he whispered panting, frantically trying to open his injured eye - and now he knew what that feeling in the bottom of his stomach was.

Byakuran laughed and brought his hand to Mukuro's unseeing eye and made a plucking gesture.

"I had it removed while you were out for the count..." Byakuran seemed to enjoy seeing Mukuro's reaction and he continued. "I was very interested in seeing how strong your possession is... would the eye turn back into Leo-kun's if it was actually removed from your body..."

Mukuro was desperately now trying to get even a glimmer from his missing eye and his panic probably showed as Byakuran gently caressed his cheek.

"Don't struggle too much Mukuro-kun, you'll just bleed more... and I don't want to sedate you, I want you to enjoy this experience we're about to share..." Byakuran released the boot from Mukuro's thigh and took a step back tugging the leash once more. "Come now..."

Mukuro followed him now, struggling to stay up on his knees, slipping on the blood on the floor but held up by Byakuran leading him by the leash like a show dog. Byakuran lead him to low table he had picked the collar off earlier on and made Mukuro kneel with a soft kick.

"For obeying my orders I'll give you a choice..." Byakuran said as he tugged Mukuro to look at the contents of the table. "Choose the first instrument you want me to use..."

He didn't say on you - but he didn't need to. Mukuro looked at instruments on the table and tried to keep his composure. Closest to him was a selection of crops and whips, ranging from plain bamboo sticks to heavy weighted cat o' nine tails made of white leather - which he knew would rip the flesh off his bones. After that there were numerous stainless steel instruments, scalpels and clamps and weights, and lastly several harnesses, restrains and gags. Byakuran was hovering close anxiously waiting for Mukuro's answer - half of him wanted to headbutt the white freak and pull his tongue out with his teeth, but the other half knew the only way to ever get free was to wait and play time until the time was more advantageous. Was the offer he had just been given even sincere of if this was just a game - nevertheless the choice was difficult. While Mukuro hesitated, Byakuran walked around the table and picked up a pair of large scissors with a white handles.

"While you consider your options, let me help you out of that..." Byakuran said lightly as he slid the scissors under Mukuro's white shirt under his armpit and cut the thin fabric open.

Mukuro couldn't suppress an involuntary shiver as the cold metal scraped his skin, then moving up to his shoulder cutting the shoulder seam open letting the shirt fall open leaving his chest half exposed. The scissors moved along his neck, Byakuran's knee pressing into his bound hands forcing him down - then he heard a crunch as the blades bit into his hair. Alarmed Mukuro jerked forward to escape but Byakuran was there in a flash pulling on the leash and twisting his neck.

"Bastard..." Mukuro hissed as Byakuran let long strands of silky blue hair float off his fingers in front of Mukuro's face.
"Funny, I didn't think you were the vain type..." the bastard was laughing as he pushed Mukuro to the table to keep him immobile while cutting into more of his hair. "Keep still if you don't want me to cut you..."

Mukuro felt rage welling up in his throat as humiliation burned his cheeks, but this body was failing and he couldn't physically resist the man on top of him. He heard another crunch and as the scissors cut into his hair again he could feel the strands sliding down his back. Mukuro hadn't expected this feeling, hadn't thought he'd to be so attached to his physical attributes... but the truth was his hair was one of the only things he could sense in his real body - as the currents in the tank he had been left to rot sometimes brushed his hair against his body, only then was he reminded that he was still alive. He let out a soft "nnn" as the last pieces of his long hair fell to the floor and he could feel Byakuran edge his way closer, nuzzling at his ear.

"You're not crying are you Mukuro-kun..." he said softly, his breath tickling in Mukuro's ear.

To his horror he did find himself close to tears, but he blinked the feeling away and gritted his teeth. The man didn't deserve an answer and neither had he been waiting for one as he backed off a bit and continued cutting Mukuro's shirt off, mercifully now on his blind side so Mukuro didn't have to watch his ghostly white form hovering over him. Finally his shirt was in shreds and Byakuran pulled the last pieces off and the cold air made Mukuro's arms go goose bumps.

"Have you made your choice yet?" Byakuran asked and when Mukuro didn't reply he stepped back at the table touching the implements on it. He stopped at a whip, caressing handle before moving to the cat, weighing it in his hand. "I'll pick something for you then..."

"Stop..." Mukuro whispered and cleared his throat.
"What was that, Mukuro-kun?" Byakuran said sweetly as he run the tails of the cat along Mukuro's face.

The tails came back red, blood staining the white leather and the pain of just a gentle touch on his injured side made Mukuro shake with the blinding pain. As the heavy led beads trailed his shoulder leaving bloody streaks he knew with a cold certainly that this body wouldn't survive this implement and despite the bitter bile in his mouth he forced himself to speak up.

"...the gag" he said softly and Byakuran gave a delighted giggle.
"Say it again!" Byakuran said as he forced Mukuro's chin up with the handle of the whip.
"I choose the gag" Mukuro said and he forced himself calm as he looked at the Millefiore leader's smiling face.

Byakuran smiled at him and picked up one of the gags - this one had a white rubber part attached to metal rings attached to white strips of leather.

"Open your mouth." The tone wasn't playful anymore, though soft it had the very distinct 'obey me' quality to it that made Mukuro instinctively snarl.

But he slowly opened his mouth and the overwhelming taste of the rubber made his stomach turn. Byakuran pushed the bar into his mouth so deep it bit into the corners of his mouth and made Mukuro gag and his eye water. Byakuran secured the straps tight behind his head and then surveyed his handiwork.

"Good choice, dog..." he said as he gave the collar another tug indicating that it was time to move on.

Suddenly without a warning there was a change of pace. Instead of gently leading him like before, Byakuran cruelly pulled on the leash making Mukuro fall again. When he couldn't get up in a timely fashion, spluttering and choking on the collar that the Millefiore was pulling on, Byakuran grabbed him by the remaining hair and dragged him by it to the sofa. The white luxurious suede was immediately soaked crimson but Byakuran didn't seem to care.

"I know you want it, whore..." he hissed to Mukuro's ear, pressing Mukuro's face to the pillows making him gasp for breath.

He fumbled for Mukuro's belt, his nails scraping on Mukuro's skin before pulling it off. For a moment the man seemed to be of two minds before going for the scissors again, this time cutting into the soft leather of Mukuro's pants, his knee pressing into Mukuro's bound arms and back - it was hardly necessary as Mukuro was starting get weak with lack of blood as well as oxygen, his face pressed into the pillows. He wanted to give in to the tempting blackness, familiar weightlessness that felt like he was back in the tank where it didn't matter what way was up, but the pain of his hair being pulled again brought him back and he found himself sucking in breath through the slimy gag between his teeth.

The pain was real. The humiliation was real. Him about to get raped by this white-haired freak was real, and suddenly Mukuro couldn't rely on his illusions like he had been able to all his life. He didn't have Ken or Chikusa by his side, always and eternally covering him, he didn't even have Chrome - all he had was this broken bleeding body and the will to live through yet another ordeal with the belief that the last blood spilled wouldn't be his. He gritted his teeth as Byakuran peeled the shredded leather off him, feeling his cold fingers on his skin.

"Spread them, bitch..." Byakuran's voice wasn't even soft anymore - it was deadly serious.

Mukuro tried to focus on his mantra (stay alive...) as he gave a quiet grunt as he spread his legs. This wasn't the first time he was being taken against his will, his utter hate for authority came from these people who enjoyed having him under their power, who got their kicks from seeing him helpless and crying. Byakuran was spreading his buttocks and Mukuro closed his eye to escape all the white around him, and the slick finger probing his entrance. He just about to managed to not cry out aloud when the finger without a warning penetrated him - it hurt, but it was bearable and Mukuro tried to relax his muscles. Finger probed for few moments before sharply withdrawing, and Mukuro felt himself being flipped over like a rag-doll. For few moments Mukuro thought Byakuran was going to kiss him his face so close, but then the other man smiled slyly and lifted his index and middle fingers as if to show them to him before plunging them into his empty eye socket.

The pain made Mukuro's body arch and spasm and he couldn't even try to stifle the ragged cry from his throat, only muffled by the gag in his mouth. As Byakuran dipped his fingers in he was now glad of it as he could bite his teeth down on the gag instead of his tongue and he screamed, trying to squirm away. Byakuran bent down and kissed Mukuro gently on the forehead as he removed his fingers, now lubricated with blood, and stuck them fast and hard into Mukuro's anus. Scream that had almost died on his lips turned into a thin whine as his body tried to fight the new intrusion.

Byakuran's breathing was becoming faster now as he fingerfucked Mukuro, then he withdrew his fingers again and pushed them back into empty eye. Mukuro was fighting with all his remaining strength but Byakuran was heavier and stronger on top of him, forcing his legs open with his knees, pressing his other arm to Mukuro's neck to keep his head still. He bent down almost as to hear Mukuro's desperate scream better, slowly sliding his fingers in and out of the eye socket. This time he kissed Mukuro on the cheek as he returned to fingerfucking his victim, blood making it now almost painless, or was it that Mukuro's body was now so tight and strumming with pain from his eye that he was incapable of feeling anything else.

Third time Mukuro was ready to do anything to make it stop, he hated the gag that prevented him from begging for mercy but he tried anyway - the words came out as an incomprehensible sobs. His vision was blurring and his heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to burst of out his chest. For the last time Byakuran scooped blood from the socket, this time he ran his fingers gently over Mukuro's lips curled back from the gag and then kissed Mukuro on the lips as he once again penetrated him using his bloody fingers. As Mukuro's screams quieted he found himself shaking uncontrollably.

When his vision returned he saw that Byakuran had unzipped his trousers and was stroking his cock in his hand, watching his face. Slowly he leaned over Mukuro and positioned himself at his entrance, Mukuro could feel the blunt pressure and braced himself when there was a soft beep at the console at Byakuran's desk. Byakuran's eyes narrowed as he hesitated and licked his lips. Another beep made him frown but he still didn't move, then closed his eyes and smiled ruefully as he pushed in.

Pain made Mukuro's body arch and he bit into his gag, panting, as Byakuran penetrated him completely uncaring of damage he was causing. Suddenly he wasn't sure anymore if Byakuran ever had intended to let him live for more than few moments it took him to get his perverted pleasure out of him, and the panic crept in. Again he struggled but Byakuran was leaning on his shoulders with his hands, pressing him down to the sofa, laughing at his feeble attempts. His mind desperately tried to leave this body but the barrier held and he was still trapped and crying out in agony as Byakuran fucked him hard and fast.

Another beep from the console made Byakuran stop again, his breathing was fast as he loomed over Mukuro, glancing at his desk. Then the white haired man cursed under his breath and for a second Mukuro flinched as he thought Byakuran was going to hit him out of spite, but the man just grabbed his hair again and yanked hard, as if the pain he was causing didn't show enough on Mukuro's face yet. Mukuro let go even of his mantra and let his instincts take over as the assault continued, Byakuran was relentlessly pounding into him and he could feel himself tear and bleed, and there was nothing left but torture and pain. Maybe it was finally enough as Byakuran shuddered and unloaded, and even his orgasm made Mukuro hurt even though it meant the ordeal was finally over. The freak would leave and go take care of his little business and would maybe finally let Mukuro die, and the illusionist examined this new wish with an idle curiosity.

Slowly panting Byakuran pulled his lips into his trademark smirk as the insistent beep returned, and he pulled out fast. His white uniform was now soaked with Mukuro's blood, and he wiped his hands on his trousers as he tucked himself in his pants and walked over to his desk.

"What is it, Sou-chan," he said in an icy tone. "I told you I was not to be disturbed when I was with the prisoner..."

There was a short pause as Byakuran listened to Irie talk, Mukuro had closed his eye and couldn't hear what the man was saying. News seem to make Byakuran mad but he collected himself fast before giving his battle orders.

"I'm going to my quarters to clean up, make sure there is a clean uniform for me waiting." Byakuran said finally, and almost as an afterthought he added: "I know our medics are going to be busy, but when someone can be spared can you let someone have a look the prisoner? He's in my office... yes, don't move him to the infirmary - whatever you can do here is fine."

Without another glance to the prisoner Byakuran was gone and Mukuro was left alone. There was just pain, and even though every movement sent stabbing pains throughout his body Mukuro slowly pulled his knees into his chest trying to move his bound hands into a position that hurt the least. This body was bleeding and leaking and damaged, possibly beyond repair, but this moment he was alive.

Then sweet unconsciousness took him, and everything was white again.