Heartless and Loving It

Heartless and Loving It

Flora Winter

I do not own xxxHolic and I’m not making any money here either.

Summary: A young man seeks revenge against those who caused his boyfriend to commit suicide. Yuko grants his wish…for a price. This story will contain boy love, very strong language, explicit violence, and the joy that comes with taking vengeance on those who have it coming.

WARNING! This story will contain religious blasphemy, very strong usage of language, and certain ideas that might not sit well with some people. I am not a religious person and this story will take you to places where you might not even want to peek out the carriage window. So, if you are a religious fanatic who feels that your immortal soul is at risk by reading this, go find something else to read. I’m not really sure as of yet, but this story will show the poisonous hatred religion places in people’s hearts. Also, all flames will be used to fuel the raging furnace of my blasphemous truths. So, sit back, remove the blinds from your eyes, and feel free to scream through this ride through Hell in which I have created for you, my gracious readers. Please keep your hands and legs inside the carriage at all times.

Prologue

Lightning flashed venomous green outside the rattling window as tears streamed from Jacinth Meadows’ cerulean eyes like acid rain. He was trembling with a glass cutting sorrow and a skin scorching rage that burned darker and deeper than the Abyss. It was over. It was all over. His happy ever after had been destroyed by a hate so powerful it left him screaming in agony among the onslaught of darkness which had engulfed him greedily. His boyfriend of four years had taken his own life.

The cold was seeping into his bones as if the frosty white lips of winter were kissing him. It didn’t matter where he looked. He would see shadows and hear distorted echoes of his lost lover’s voice calling to him from the dancing darkness which played before his haunted eyes.

Ashley Wilson had been the most handsome guy in school. He had been the best swimmer on the swim team and the sweetest person ever to glide like a fish through crystal blue waters in bright sunlight. His skin had been like smooth amber honey, and his hair had been like the golden beams of sunshine. He had been such a strong and powerful creature. His soul had burned brighter than any star in the vast vaults of heaven. Now he was locked in eternal darkness, six feet under, and the world was to blame. The whole fucking world! He would never again get to gaze into those stunning emerald green eyes. NEVER!

“I hate you, Jehova, Allah, whatever the fuck you fucking call yourself now!” He hissed like a poisonous reptile, smiling like a lunatic at his crazed reflection in the stormy glass. “If this fucked up world you love so much thinks we faggots are demons then I shall show this fucked up world just how demonic I can truly be.”

He chuckled with laughter as the tears burned his eyes like fire. He was losing his mind. Why the fuck was he here? Could this lady really help him? He had spent all of his savings just to come here and see. He spun around and looked at her imploringly.

“I see,” the woman said. Her voice was like incense slithering through the air like slippery serpents. “What do you wish?”

Jacinth just looked at her. Was she for real? Could she really help him? Could she bring Ashley back from the dead? Did she really have the power to give them a second chance?

No! A tiny voice said in his mind. When a person dies, they can never return no matter how hard we wish or what all we sacrifice. The dead are gone. There is nothing we can do about it. All we can do is love and remember them. It hurt. It hurt so fucking much. It was the voice of his Aunt Mary. She had been so wise and so understanding of him and Ash.

“If only I had gotten to him in time,” he whispered, looking down at his feet. “We could have had such a happy place to live and love each other for forever.”

He let the tears fall freely down his ivory smooth cheeks as his raven dark locks hid the pain his eyes would forever bleed. Ashley’s parents had abandoned him, kicked him out, and told him to die like a dog in the streets. He had taken a whole bottle of really powerful sleep medication with vodka, lied down at the edge of the deep end of the pool, went to sleep, rolled over into it, and drowned.

“I wish,” he said, feeling his knees shaking with rage. “I wish for the power so that no other homosexual will have to suffer as we have.” He gritted his straight white teeth with so much force he thought they would shatter like glass in his mouth. “I wish for the power to make any person suffer horribly who dares to harm a homosexual.”

Vibrant red eyes looked at him with compassion, but they did not blink. “There is a cost.”

“I don’t care!” He snapped, looking at the tall woman with long, dark hair. “The one who meant the most to me in this life was taken from me!” He stalked up to her, looking right up into her face. “And I want the power to teach all the ones responsible for his death a lesson they will be screaming about all the way to the broad gates of Hell! I want any who dares to harass a homosexual to instantly know my pain and horror a thousand times over! I wish for the power to make them look upon my face and tremble in terror as their eyes bleed crimson with my pain!”

“Very well,” she said, closing her eyes, suddenly sticking her hand into his chest like she was made of spirit. “I will require your heart, Child of Sorrow.”

“Take it!” He yelled, gritting his teeth in pain. “What use do I have for a heart now? It is nothing but a burden!”

The Witch Goddess smiled and pulled the still beating organ from his chest cavity without causing him any injury whatsoever. He looked at himself in wide-eyed wonder that he was still alive and looking at his heart in her non-bloody hand. “You now have the power to punish any who dares to harm your people,” she said, holding his heart with such tender care.

He couldn’t help but run his tongue across his razor sharp teeth that could now bite through solid steel. He looked at himself in the glass mirror opposite him. He was monstrously beautiful and utterly terrifying to behold. He touched his face and grinned with insanity. “I’m going to have a fun and very long night.” He was suddenly gone in a distorted blur of rapid movement. The window exploded outwards in a shimmering display of shattering brilliance in the lightning and quickly reformed itself as though time were in reverse.

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“Yuko?”

“Oh, such pain,” she whispered, holding the fragile beating heart in her palm, listening to the tragically haunted song it was singing.

“Yuko…”

“Yes?” She asked, turning to look at her slave…servant…friend…thingy. “What is it, Watanuki?”

He was standing in the open doorway, looking at her with wide eyes. His glasses were slipping down his nose. “Did you just pull his heart out?”

She nodded. “I did.”

He screamed, pressing his palms against both cheeks. “WHAT?”

“Yo, Loudness,” a voice called from beyond the door. “Something’s burning.”

“AH!” Watanuki shrieked, turning with a snap. “MY CAKE! NO! DOUMEKI, YOU’RE USELESS!”

“That’s not what you said this morning,” the bigger teen deadpanned.

“AH! DON’T DO THAT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!”

“Doumeki and Watanuki made kissy-kiss,” Mokona giggled from outside the room as well.

“SHUT UP!” Watanuki wailed like a siren.

Yuko softly smiled as she placed the still beating heart inside a silver chest inlaid with precious jewels of all variety. She needed to prepare a room for a guest who would forever be a member of her household.

“PUT THAT DOWN, YOU DUMB JOCK!” Watanuki roared. “NO! NOT THERE!”

“Be careful what you do, Jacinth Meadows born on December 21st,” she said, closing the lid over the broken heart. “You’re going to feel every action you’ve taken this night come morning when your heart is once again beating in your chest.”

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Brandon Pitman zipped his pants, told his bitch goodnight, and pushed her out the door of his Ford pickup truck. It was getting late and his parents would be expecting him home any time now. They were always jumping him about stupid things like curfew and all that bullshit. Why couldn’t they just shut the fuck up and let him be?

“You’re such a jerk!” She yelled, slamming the door shut behind her.

“And you’re a damn slut, bitch!” He yelled out the window, taking off without even looking back at her. She was so useless and gave lousy head. He needed to find him one of those damn fags that were still in the closet and blackmail them into sucking his rocks off. That would be so much fun. He would then beat their disgusting asses up after he zipped his pants for even daring to suck his gift to women.

“I HATE YOU!” She screamed after him. “YOU STUPID MURDERER!”

He rolled his eyes and kept driving into the night. What the fuck was she talking about? He didn’t kill anybody. That damn fag had killed himself. It was his own damn fault. God hated fags. The only good fag…well, there was no such thing as a good fag, so they all had to die. The pastor said it was wrong for a man to fuck a man and that was all he needed to justify himself for what he did. That stupid fag got what he deserved. The only thing a fag is good for is sucking cock and then getting the shit beat out of them for giving in to their sinful ways. They all really should just kill themselves. The world would be a better and much safer place without them.

A really cold wind rushed over him, causing him to shiver. A loud wailing scream filled the air and his windshield iced over and cracked. He slammed on the brakes, making them squeal across the blacktop. He was jerked forward as the truck came to a complete stop. He sat there for a few seconds, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

“Hi, Brandon.”

That voice. He knew that voice. He turned his face to the side, feeling that fist connect with his jaw like a sledgehammer. His head swung back, hitting the door window, cracking the glass. That was when darkness took him in its frightening and laughing wings.

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Jacinth looked at the worm that was dangling before him on a meat hook. He looked so sweet and innocent with that big purple bruise forming on his cheek. Oh, it simply made him feel all giddy inside. This fucking shit was better than Jesus being born on Christmas. He could still remember how his parents had celebrated his birthday and then they had celebrated Jesus Day, too. He got a shit load of presents. December had been the best month out of the whole fucking year.

“Hello, Sunshine,” he giggled when the bastard opened his dazed, shit brown eyes. “How’re you feeling?”

He watched how those eyes began to widen in fright. He simply adored it. Was this how Ashley felt when this bastard son of a prejudice cunt and his homophobic goons had jumped him the day before he killed himself? He wanted to bathe himself in this bitch’s blood and drag him kicking and screaming by his intestines.

“Jacinth?”

“Aw, how sweet, you remember little ole me,” he snickered, spinning around in a gracefully dramatic circle that sent his long dark locks dancing like hissing shadowy feathers. He had been such a major drama student until everyone found out he was something God hated more than Satan wearing nothing but butt-floss at a celestial gathering.

“What?” He asked, and Jacinth loved how the idiot was taking in his surroundings and his predicament. The old barn could be pretty scary at night. He listened to those chains rattle. It was like music to his ears. “What the fuck is this?”

“Oh, don’t you know?” He asked, gliding up to him. His eyes were filled with molten madness. “This is revenge, my dear.”

“Your teeth,” Brandon gasped, fighting to get loose from his bonds, but Jacinth had made sure he wasn’t going nowhere but straight to Satan’s bedroom. “Why do you look like that?’

“Don’t remember?” He asked, pushing on the piss ant’s chest, making him swing back and forth like a piece of yummy meat that was just waiting to be hacked into itty bitty bits. “You’re the one who called me a Whore of Lucifer.” Those shitty brown eyes got only wider as he flexed his deadly black talons before them. “You were right.”

“Stop it!” Brandon cried, struggling even harder. “Let me go!”

“How many times did Ashley say that?” He suddenly asked, eyes glazing over into something more frightening than Mommy Dearest coming at someone with 400 legions of winged wire hangers. “How many times did Ashley beg you to stop? How many of his precious tears fell to the ground as he begged for you to stop raping him?”

He smacked him across the face with the back of his hand, enjoying the crunch of bone. The scream sent chills of joy racing up his spine like tickling fingers of bloody desire.

“LET ME GO!” Brandon screamed, fighting even harder. “PLEASE! LET ME GO!”

Jacinth threw his head back and howled with insane laughter. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t fucking believe it!

“SAY IT!” He shrieked, punching him in the stomach. “BEG ME TO FORGIVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO THE ONE PERSON I LOVED MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD!” He punched him in the groin, grabbed, and twisted. The screams were like ice cream on a warm sunny day. He really liked ice cream. His favorite was chocolate and Ashley’s had been Superman.

“GOD!” Brandon cried in agony, whimpering in pain.

“Who?’ Jacinth asked, twisting more screams out of him. “I’m sorry. But, that’s not my name. My name is something prettier and way more imaginative, you dumb-fuck.”

“I’M SORRY!” Brandon cried, fear dripping from his face. People sure did sweat a lot when they were frightened. Ashley had been covered in fear and something else as well. He could still smell the fear and taste Ashley’s pain on his tongue. The rage inside him burned even hotter.

Jacinth grinned with a mouthful of needle sharp fangs and let him go. He took a step back and looked at his mewling and whimpering prey like a crocodile watches an antelope from under the murky water. “Why was I ever frightened of you?” He asked, walking over to pick up an ax. He had never used one before in his life. He couldn’t wait to take his first swing. He hoped he hit something the douche was going to need.

“What are you doing?” Brandon asked, taking deep breaths. He looked like he was about to scream again at any moment.

“We’re on my grandfather’s farm, Brandon,” he said, twirling the ax like a baton with ease. “This place is over 200 acres. There is nobody around for miles to hear you scream as I kill you.”

He was really beginning to enjoy the look of horror. He was actually surprised the tool wasn’t pissing his pants. Oh, wait, he just did.

“You caused my Ashley to leave me all alone in this cold and scary world with little shits like you running the bitch,” he said, looking crazier and crazier with every step he took. “I’m going to give you a tiny little choice, Brandon.”

Brandon could speak.

“Tell me,” Jacinth smiled, licking the ax blade with a devil red tongue. “Which head would you like to keep?”

There was a loud thud and a scream echoed into the night.

“YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND!”

The sound of flesh being hacked and bone being snapped like kindling in a fireplace filled the barnyard air. Jacinth screamed with rage in his heart as he swung that ax with all his might. Blood and other bodily fluids covered him. The bottom half of the corpse fell to the ground and he hacked and hacked some more. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t know how. The more blood he saw, the more he had to have.

“Amazing grace,” he sang, laughing as he hacked away. “How sweet the sound…”

He sliced the chains with his talons, causing the upper half of the body to drop to the gory ground with a thud. He smashed the face in with his heel and jumped up and down on the body, screaming like a maniac.

TBC…

Please review and tell me what you think. I will not update again until I get ten or more reviews.