Don't Speak

Don't Speak
By Eline

Warnings: Dub-con. Spoilers for R2 ending. Kallen/Zero.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The war had ended. Just one man with a sword had ended the tyranny.

Afterwards, they said that it was because the man was the living embodiment of justice. No evil or injustice could stand before him.

Thus began the legend of Zero.

Because she had said so. To preserve the illusion, Kallen had lied so that the others would follow. And it had somehow become the truth.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Kallen would always remember that day. When she saw the last Emperor of Britannia assassinated.

Familiar mask. Familiar costume. Familiar movements that were just wrong.

She knew that speed, that agility, that strength--physical strength that Zero never had. She had come to grips with it before. The Zero she knew from before could not jump or run to save his life.

So she had come to the only conclusion that made sense to her.

She did not know what she would do if she had the chance to confront him. Congratulate him--them--on the greatest scam the world had ever known? He--they--had pulled wool over the eyes of the world. All in the name of peace.

Kallen got her chance to do so a lot earlier than she expected. During the inauguration of Japan’s post-war parliament, she had been representing the newly minted Knightmare Frame Auxiliary Unit. Zero was present to oversee the proceedings and it had gone off without a hitch.

Some people had looked surreptitiously at Zero at certain instances, as if to ask if this was all right. But Zero had remained silent as a statue as they were sworn in.

Amidst the jubilant celebrations afterwards, Kallen had wandered like an onlooker through the reception and had fetched up in a corner with some former members of the Black Knights. It was natural for people who had been through the same experience to cluster together. Kallen did not know if it was because they missed the camaraderie of the old days or if they were doing it because it was difficult to change after all this time.

Uncomfortable, for fighters were not going to be necessary soon. After all, there were more civilian pursuits to be followed after everything stabilised. Kallen was even seriously considering going back to school. Her mother would be pleased and Ougi would not be worried, now that he had a lot of other things on his mind. The topic shifted to Ougi’s upcoming wedding, a much more enjoyable and simple topic that they all could relate to.

The discussion of the size of Viletta’s abdomen was curtailed by a sudden silence that crept up around them.

The source of this was easily recognised as he swept through the assembled dignitaries like a shadow. It had been the talk of the day--Zero had apparently declined to give a speech. By the looks of it, he was not about to hang around to socialise.

They stared at the rapidly departing figure and looked at each other in silence. It was a conspiracy by the former executive committee of the Order. By keeping Zero’s real identity a secret, the fragile illusion could be maintained.

Kallen, on her way back from the restroom, saw the masked and cloaked figure stalk into an antechamber, ushered there by some officials. The officers bowed and scraped their way out and shut the door politely to allow Zero his privacy.

Barely even hesitating after they had left, Kallen opened the door and slipped inside the room. It was a meeting room of some kind, with a long table and many chairs lined up along its length.

Zero swung around and she was pinned by a stare she could not see across the table.

But Kallen forced herself to move forward. She had to know.

The masked man did not back away as she approached, but there was a tensing of the muscles, a shift in his stance that Kallen recognised as a fight or flight response.

“Zero,” she said. “Or should I say K--”

His sudden movement startled her and she almost swallowed her tongue as his arm swung out. A warding gesture that was no less effective than it used to be. Used by a different person. Silence.

So she had been right. Why did she feel nothing?

“I know who you are,” she said numbly. “And I think I know what you did. What you both did.”

“Then you know why it had to be done,” Zero said, speaking for the first time. At least for Kallen. No matter how she strained her ears, the voice was not the same.

“Not really, no,” she replied, advancing so that she was almost directly between him and the door. “Tell me why.”

“It was necessary--”

“Why was it necessary?” she demanded. “Why was any of that necessary? Wasn’t there another way?”

She has asked herself all these questions over and over again, turning over the possibilities in her head. Tired of wondering, tired of questioning, she had almost torn her hair out. Now she just wanted answers from the source. One of the sources at any rate.

“It’s not for me to say,” he said at last. “It is Zero’s will that I am carrying out. As Zero.”

“Zero . . .”

It was difficult to move quickly in the skirt she was wearing, but she managed it anyhow. He was surprised by her, which was probably why she had succeeded.

And everything is now. Now, when his body hits the back of the chair behind him. Now is when she managed to land on top of him, straddling his lap.

She is surprising herself. A myriad of questions are swirling around in her head as she straightens up, bring her underwear-covered crotch into contact with his groin.

What is she doing? There was an education, a potential career, a mother, a life waiting for her--

After this, she says to herself, after this. Just let me have this--

"Kallen--" Through the voice modifier, the voice was deep, sonorous and all wrong.

"Don't speak . . . don't say anything," she whispers. If he doesn't speak, the illusion would be almost perfect. "Don't say a word . . ."

But she is only fooling herself. Kallen knows this. Kallen knows that the body under her is compactly muscular and lean, not slender to the point of boniness. Kallen even knows that the response she is forcing from him is not the one that would have come from . . . him. Even knowing this, she continues, rubbing herself shamelessly against him.

"Don't speak . . ."

He does not.

He does not shake her off even though she knows he can. He is capable of it. More than just capable. He could have thrown her clear across the room for this presumption.

But he does not.

He reacts to her the same way that any male would, given the circumstances. A strangled noise escapes from under the mask as she reaches down to free him from the confines of the suit. But he is not stopping her as she clutches at his shoulders to steady herself against him.

A moment later, his hands come up around her back and waist. Almost awkward. Almost comforting. She wonders if she has ever been so transparent. Even now, Ougi and the others do not suspect. Kaguya, perhaps, had an inkling of what she had felt for their former leader, but not the others.

The almost comforting uncertain touch on her body makes all the difference. Almost Zero. But not Zero. Because she has seen behind the mask and knows that Zero is--was--not the man she had once envisioned him to be a year ago. It helps that she will never know what to expect in a situation like this.

Like this, with her knees clamping around his hips and her sex rubbing against this erect cock.

“I’m sorry,” he says and she almost cries because there is no point whatsoever that he is sorry now. He is gone and someone else has to apologise for him right here and now.

There is a sound like a sigh and his hands shift, one moving to caress her breasts through her blouse and the other--

Kallen almost moans when gloved fingers slipped between her thighs to her moist sex, sending sparks through her vision. She focuses on that. Zero’s hands and fingers on her as she arches against him. The kind of intimacy she has never known outside private dreams.

He soon tenses under her and she presses closer, grinding down on his erection even as his fingers rub faster and--

And it is over. He is spent and she is too.

She slumps against his chest and breaths in the scent of him as she buries her nose in his cloaked shoulder. From that vantage, she can see that he is panting shallowly and that the skin of his neck is slightly damp from sweat. The hair peeping out of the edge of the mask is brown. Brown curls.

It shakes her out of the illusion and brings her back to the present.

This was wrong. She had done a very bad thing--a horrible thing--

“I’m sorry,” she gabbled, hating how stupid that sounded right now. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

He gestured briefly, touching one gloved finger to her lips. Don’t speak.

They drew apart carefully in the silence that followed. Kallen could not look at him--at his mask--as she set herself to rights. Button by button, she fumbled with the fastenings of her shirt after straightening her bra. Until he gently helped her with the buttons she has botched, fingers carefully manipulating the eyelets without touching her skin.

It had been easier for him. He was tucked back into his suit by the time Kallen was done with her blouse and by some silent agreement, they were standing at least a metre apart from each other.

She is struck by a thought then. It is unfair that she cannot see his face. His expression. It is fair because she had chosen to do this, knowing what she did. His secrets were his own. His and his predecessor’s.

Surely--towards the end . . . just what did it take to kill your best friend when he asked you to?

"Good-bye," she said softly, looking beyond the masked figure. "Good-bye, Lelouch."

Zero nodded once in understanding. He too has lost a part of himself on that day when he had thrust his blade into the black heart of a tyrant. The time for farewells was past. For Zero, there was only the future and the rebuilding of a world.

Kallen moved on. Out of the past, through the present and finally towards the future.

* * * * * * * * * * * *