Of Canines and Felines

Of Cats and Dogs
By Eline

Kink meme request for Kitty!Lulu with Puppy!zaku being fascinated by his scent. Reluctant cross-species smex occurs.

Warnings: This fic is about a cat and dog consummating an inter-species relationship.

I thought this would be pretty weird even for a cross-species romance. Then I accidentally saw a Yahoo!Video of a dog humping a cat's backside while the cat calmly ate its dinner. Oh dear. (The internet--scaring and scarring you since 1997.)

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*insert your choice of documentary-style voice-over here* Today, we shall take you to the residence of Ms Shirley Fenette, where remarkable events are about to take place . . .

The warm rays of the morning sun eventually reached the corner of the living room where a black cat was curled up on a cushion. A good half an hour later, the cat deigned to wake up. This was Lelouch, pampered house cat extraordinaire and platinum-card-carrying member of the sub-species Felis domesticus jerkassus.

Taking his time with his morning ritual, Lelouch stretched fore and aft, washed his face and trotted into the dining area for breakfast.

His human, Shirley, dashed to get his preferred kind of cat food the moment he appeared. A slave to her cat's every selfish whim, Shirley cheerfully scooped premium red salmon from a can and arranged it aesthetically on his Wedgewood bone-china dish.

"Breakfast, Lulu!" she chirruped, setting the dish on table.

Ignoring his human's nickname for him, Lelouch hopped up onto a chair and then climbed onto the table for his morning repast. He ate daintily while Shirley prattled on about how she was going to do the laundry, go shopping and make lunch . . .

Shirley believed that talking to animals made them smarter and better socialised. Lelouch thought his intellect would decrease the more time he spent listening to humans, which was why he only bothered to listen to the parts containing the words "lunch", "dinner", “treat” and "food".

After breakfast, Lelouch parked his furry behind on the window ledge, fully intending on having his post-meal snooze while his human busied herself with housekeeping. His plans were interrupted by the loud and annoying barking of the dog (canis lupus familiaris moe-moe-zaku) next door.

It was time for the dog's morning walk. Suzaku loved walks. They were actually more like fast-paced runs and his human, Rivalz, could barely keep up on most days. Suzaku also tried to share his love of walks with his neighbours--namely Lelouch.

"Oh shut up, stupid mutt," Lelouch mumbled, covering his ears with his paws.

But the dog had other ideas as it bounded up to Lelouch's window ledge and barked excitedly.

"Walks are fun! Come out for a walk with me!" Suzaku looked at the black cat with soulful eyes--an effort that was likely wasted on the feline.

"Go away," Lelouch said, wondering if the dumb dog even understood a word of what he was communicating.

"Oh hi, Rivalz!" Shirley said, coming to the window in her apron. "Is it time for Suzaku's morning walk?"

"Hi Shirley! Sorry for bothering your cat--Suzaku, let's go!"

"It's okay! I'm sure Suzaku just wants to make friends with Lulu," Shirley gushed. She probably though it was adorable and like one of those mushy scenes from a Hallmark card.

Lelouch, who was certainly not going to make friends with anyone, rolled over and yawned pointedly.

"Suzaku does like playing with cats. It's a shame his sentiments are never returned," Rivalz said, hauling on the leash. "Come on, boy--remember what happened when you tried to make friends with that ginger cat at the park last week? You got clawed so badly, the vet said you had to stay at home for three whole days."

Suzaku whined softly in disappointment as he was tugged away.

"Aww, Lulu, be nicer to Suzaku." Shirley, a sucker for soulful puppy eyes of any sort, patted Lelouch on the head. Lelouch did not think much about her tastes, but he did like to be stroked, so he gave her the feline equivalent of the big-eyed stare and purred. Already conditioned to respond, Shirley cooed over him, stroked him and told him what a beautiful cat he was.

His ego properly restored, Lelouch settled down to nap again and dream of lunch. He hoped that Shirley would get some of that pate from the deli while she was out shopping . . .

But strangely enough, he could not nap comfortably at all in his favourite spot. He flipped and flopped around for a while and started eying the curtains. Tempting as it was to shred them, Shirley might get it into her head to trim his claws. He got up and wandered around aimlessly.

Odd . . . he was seldom so restless when there were naps to be taken. He even surprised himself as he ambled to the door and stuck his head through the seldom-used cat-flap.

Well, since he was already halfway out the door . . . Perhaps he could find someplace to nap in the garden.

On the way out, he had to suppress a strong desire to mark the doorpost. Shirley had spent a month training that out of him with the water gun and both parties had no intention of repeating that exercise ever again.

Rubbing up against a small shrub, Lelouch was instantly bored with the garden. The same old tree, bush, grass, tree, potted plant--

Oooh! A butterfly! He readied himself to pounce on it and sprang. Hunting was not his forte. A fact that Lelouch was reminded of as he landed flat on his face. The butterfly fluttered away breezily and Lelouch pretended that he had never noticed it as he righted himself. Pah. This is boring--

"Lelouch! Hi! Lelouch!" The cat was rudely interrupted in the middle of his thoughts by the sudden appearance of a curly-haired dog running across the lawn.

The stupid dog had got out of his yard somehow. And he was on Lelouch’s property! Lelouch would have run up a tree, if not for the fact that he had been napping while the genes for agility, stamina, strength and tree-climbing were being handed out.

Suzaku slid to a halt in front of Lelouch, but he continued to bob up and down energetically. Lelouch was getting a headache just from looking at him.

"Stop moving--you're making me motion-sick," Lelouch said.

Suzaku stopped twitching, but his tail was wagging back and forth like a metronome on speed. "Come out and play?"

"Here's an idea. Why don't you start with a game of Get Lost or go play in traffic," Lelouch said disinterestedly.

"But why?" Suzaku asked, looking hurt. His wide-eyed bewilderment was obvious.

Lelouch sighed. Whoever it was who had invented dogs had forgot to add brains to the mix. “Look, this is my yard and that’s your yard over there. Now go back before your human notices you got out.”

Suzaku’s ears drooped despondently. “I thought you looked like you might want some company--”

“Well you thought wrong,” Lelouch said irritably. What was the matter with him today? He usually did not let trivial things like this get to him. There was also an uncomfortable feeling--like an itch he could not quite reach--that was bothering him. “Why are you hanging around here all day anyway?”

“I . . . don’t really know,” Suzaku replied. He lowered his nose to sniff at Lelouch. “But Lelouch sure smells interesting today.”

“Hey,” Lelouch said testily, batting at Suzaku’s nose. “Back off. I don’t smell. I wash seven times every day. At least.”

But he did wonder what Suzaku had scented. The dog had, Lelouch was loath to admit, a better sense of smell than he did.

“I didn’t say it was a bad smell,” Suzaku said, nosing closer. “Just interesting.”

“Oi--” Lelouch yowled in alarm as he was nudged over. “I’m not your toy!”

“Sorry,” Suzaku said sheepishly. He tried to lick Lelouch by way of apology. Which was the wrong thing to do as Lelouch hissed in affront.

Dog slobber--ew! Lelouch thought in dismay. How was he going to clean himself like this? And Suzaku was still trying to lick him!

“Stop that! Argh! Dumb dog!” Lelouch made a run for it, but Suzaku, thinking that he was finally getting into the spirit of things, chased after him happily.

Most cats would have no problems outdistancing a dog. Lelouch was not most cats. Suzaku tackled him full on when they reached the backyard. They tumbled over the grass, with Suzaku barking cheerfully and Lelouch yowling bloody murder.

“Ooouuff!” Squashed by some fifteen-odd kilos of dog, Lelouch stuck his head out in an attempt to avoid being smothered. Suzaku did not mean any harm, but he was certainly annoying. “Get off, get off me--I will bite you--”

“But wasn’t that fun?” Suzaku still had Lelouch pinned under him and was licking his ears despite his flailing.

“No, it certainly was not fun!” Lelouch protested. Then he was startled into meowing as Suzaku nuzzled the nape of his neck. That felt . . . weird.

He was glad when Suzaku shifted his weight off him. Lelouch was getting tired after barely five minutes in his company--his eyes widened a moment later as he felt something tickling his spine. Suzaku was sniffing the base of his tail!

“Hey--we’re not on good terms! We’re not even friends--” Lelouch was trying to wriggle away when Suzaku’s jaws clamped gently on the scruff of his neck.

His weak spot. The one holdover from kittenhood that made him go limp instinctively. Lelouch mewled helplessly. That was unfair! His mother used to carry him by the scruff--but this was a completely different sensation.

“But you smell . . . kind of nice.” Suzaku shifted a little, bringing his back legs closer.

“What are you doing?” Lelouch asked, somewhat alarmed by Suzaku rubbing up against his hindquarters.

“I dunno . . . But it feels good,” Suzaku said distractedly.

“You don’t even know you’re doing? Then you should stop--” Lelouch felt something bumping against the base of his tail and tensed. But Suzaku nipped his scruff and he felt that strange sensation again--stronger this time--and subsided.

Lelouch was terribly confused. This was not how it was supposed to go, was it? There was a strange anticipation building up inside of him--something to do with Suzaku rubbing up against him in a way that was--that was--

He refused to even put a label to it even as something pressed against his backside. Whatever it was, it was persistently trying to get inside him. Lelouch almost pressed back, but then there was no need to encourage the stupid mutt. Not when he was so enthusiastically nuzzling Lelouch’s neck and pushing--

Jaws open in a sub-vocal yowl, Lelouch went rigid as that thing penetrated him. “Take it out! It’s too big!” he protested.

“But-but it’s--it feels good. Just for a little while, please?” While he could not see Suzaku, Lelouch could hear the pleading whine and feel those soppy puppy eyes at the back of his head. “Please?”

Suzaku’s--Suzaku’s member was inside him. He could barely even think about it, much less imagine what was going on behind him. It was all that dumb dog’s fault, this much he was sure of as he trembled and growled softly as Suzaku moved against him. Lelouch was struggling with the irrational urge to yowl even as the strange feelings intensified. This was--it was--

Just too much for his poor brain to process. There was something . . . rather pleasurable in the complicated mix of sensations he was experiencing. He was making all sorts of undignified noises like this. But his body seemed to be out of his control at the moment and he gave a sharp yowl as the anticipatory feeling inside him expanded abruptly.

Suzaku’s jaws tightened on his scruff for a moment before he let go with a loud whuff. Lelouch felt limp and light-headed afterwards. It was probably the only thing that saved Suzaku from a good hard clawing right across the nose when he finally released the cat.

“Woo, that was interesting,” Suzaku said after licking the unprotesting cat’s ears affectionately.

“I will kill you,” Lelouch muttered darkly from where he lay. “You are so dead--”

Suzaku’s ears perked up as he heard someone calling his name.

"Suzaku? Suzaku! There you ar--What are you doing?" Rivalz exclaimed as he ran forwards. "Shirley! I've found Suzaku! And Lulu!"

“Oh! Are they playing in the garden?” Shirley appeared around the corner of the house and saw them. “Erm, Rivalz . . .”

“Bad dog, Suzaku!” Rival said and pulled Suzaku aside. Shirley swooped in a moment later to pick Lelouch up. “Sorry, Shirley. He didn’t mean any harm. You have to stop doing that, Suzaku . . . It’s embarrassing.”

“Lulu looks fine, if a little grumpy,” Shirley said after looking the cat over. “What in the world possessed him to go outside? I couldn’t drag him outside even with catnip treats.”

“How old is he?” Rivalz asked.

“About nine months, why?”

“He’s probably reached that age,” Rivalz said. “You know . . . when he wants to go chase after lady cats.”

"Oh dear, I read about that . . . do you think I should get him neutered?" Shirley asked Rivalz worriedly. “What if he runs out and gets some other cat pregnant? Or runs across the road and gets hit by a car? Or gets into fights with other tom cats--”

Shirley’s imagination was getting the better of her--as usual.

"Maybe. I thought of getting Suzaku fixed once, but he’s perfectly friendly and well-adjusted . . ." Rival brightened suddenly. "But at least we know there won't be a litter of puppies or kittens coming soon."

“True . . . I guess it would be okay for Lulu to play with Suzaku as long as they don’t get rough. Then Lulu won’t be lonely or bored. You’d like that, right?” Shirley said to her cat.

Lelouch hissed in narrow-eyed outrage. As if he would ever allow such a thing to happen again!

Suzaku looked hopeful and wagged his tail.

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Like I said, I’m a terrible person who is easily enabled.