Family Values

Author's Notes: As warned before, this fic is a lot more funny with some basic knowledge of Norse mythology and...well, that general time period for us mortals on Midgard. Since I assume that You Know This Already, I won't explain that Loki is a shapeshifter, Yamino is Jormundgand, and what that typically implies during the Ragnarok. As for what you should know humanwise...
1. Gay sex was fine as long as you are not bottoming, unless you are old, or have some other excuse for not getting it up. It is VERY shameful to be the bottom. Even if you like it, which is why this option never occurs to Loki. Especially after the horse incident. Go look it up, it's comedy gold and part of why Loki is having this dilemma.
2. Loki's gathering of energy means that he would be storing it up...and he finds it worth it.
and 3. Loki's plan B is ALWAYS Kill It With Fire!
Now, it is non-graphic, of course, so don't let the yaoi bother you too much ^^; Sorry for those coming in and looking for pr0n, you all should know by now that if I am writing something, expect more mental connections and effects than actual sex.

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Loki, competitively speaking, always had viewed himself as one of the better parents of Asgard. Really, take this moment to consider his competition. He was damn good father to all of his kids. He didn't have to save the son he knew would fall ill within days of capture. No, he didn't. You'd be insane to think it. Did he have to give that son a safer and easier to handle form with what little magic he had left? Of course not! And did he have to trick the bankers into thinking he was the son of a rich bastard who really had it coming in order to not tap into his savings to get the house that Jormundgand fell in love with? No! No he did not!
And how was he repaid for all this?
In bed with Narugami!
He was fine with him exploring his human anatomy. He was fine with Thor being over so often, despite his griping.
He was NOT fine with him exploring his human anatomy with Thor!
Really, it would be a touch hypocritical for him to think of the family's humiliation from this situation. So that part of the lecture that Loki was trying to mentally prepare himself for was right out of the running. Sleipnir was a good child, but in reality, Loki did get rather embarrassed about that story, and Jormundgand (NOT Yamino, Loki reminded himself, right now he was mentally preparing to yell at his son, not his human servant) was sure to bring it up.
But that wasn't the major issue here, at all. No, it isn't. The issue here were the prophecies.
Thor was supposed to be killing him during Ragnarok before succumbing to his venom.
Jormundgand, who was literally in bed with the enemy. Narugami was perfectly fine to be around, but in reality, Loki was not forgetting who was to be harming his children, not since he had discovered what it is that is expected of them. For all he knew, this was a ploy to make this easier.
...No, wait, Thor isn't that smart. This would be something more along the lines of what he would think of.
But let's not think about that at all right now.
Dammit, the snake was very lucky that he opted to stay in his locked room and out of his father's sight right now. Unlike Narugami, who came out once he was dressed again and insisted that it was not at all what it looked like. He had been greeted by the fire in the study towering high enough to nearly catch the chimney on fire and told to get out until he was ready to talk to him. Loki was not an idiot, he could tell the difference between naked wrestling holds and his son's leg being flung onto a shoulder to get more access. Hell, Jormundgand's mother had been a master of in-a-hurry-and-passionate...
...holds. Holds, dammit.
When Mayura danced in, her usual cheery attitude did not help a single thing for his attitude. She just got a rather dark, red-eyed look, just for him to be told to perk up and to get Yamino to make something to eat, she was starving.
...Dammit, he has had how many daughters and how many of them are or were more mature than Mayura?
What if Heimdall found out about his brother's escapades?! That thought was a horrifying one that just randomly crawled into the god's mind and sent the dying embers roaring aflame again. The damn gatekeeper always had a way of finding out just what his family was up to (with the exception of the plot against his own goddamn eye) and he knew for a fact that Heimdall would pay to watch the son of his enemy be humiliated and dominated the way that Narugami was. Damn, he never once thought of that until now!
Oh, now this was a question whether to charbroil or firebake his son's little "partner". Or castration. What was more painful to an immortal?
He turned his head when he heard the door creak, an ocean-colored eye peering in behind glass. Loki sighed.
"...Loki-sama, this isn't as bad as you think it is..."
"...Jormundgand, get in here and sit down, we need to talk. And don't Loki-sama me."
Yamino winced, slipping in. "...Can you not use my real name?"
"I could call you a lot of things right now, so I'm settling for your real name."
*********
Narugami arrived the next day, nervous as hell. Loki had told him to take his next shift off and get over to the agency, and, well, he did not dare send the god's wrath his way.
Luckily for him, Yamino opened the door and guided him to the empty office, and Narugami sat down. "...What do I need to worry about?"
"Nothing, really," Yamino replied. "Loki-sama was just a little bit in shock."
"A bit?" he replied. "I was afraid this morning I'd wake up gelded."
"That crossed his mind, but I think he's decided to toy with you." Yamino leaned against Thor, taking the wooden sword out of his white-knuckle grip and leaning over his lap to put it on the floor, propped against the desk.
Narugami laughed nervously, reaching up to play with the ponytail. "He's not going to use you, is he?"
"Why would he use his own child to get back at you?"
"Loki's got one sick and twisted sense of revenge, you know." He gently tugged the hair caught in his hand to get a surprised yelp from Yamino as he pulled him back to be kissed. "Well, gotta say, it was worth risking."
"You're kidding, right?" Yamino blushed and stammered against his lips.
"No, I'm serious," Narugami said. "We might as well enjoy ourselves, right?" His hands went to undo to ribbon around his neck.
The door opened downstairs around the same time Narugami's teeth went to biting the snake's throat, just to hear the sigh it caused.
But then...
"Loki-sama, I'm back!"
Narugami blinked, looking at the door, then back at the man in his lap...who was grinning rather evilly.
"You haven't beat me yet, Thor, I wouldn't be reaping the spoils before then."