Master Me

Master Me
by Green
disclaimer: of course I don't own KKM. Duh.
note: I like to write sex but I think it's my weak point (ie, I'm really horrible at writing sex.) But there hasn't been any new Murata x Wolfram PWP fics in a long time. I plan on doing more of this fic. I hear ya'll screaming~ Well, if that idea is horrifying to you, write me a good, steamy Mura x Wolf PWP. D: In the immortal words of Smokey the Bear, only YOU can prevent the mortal literary sin of me continuing. And I wants to read it when you're finished~ Incidentally, this fic is somewhat more of an erotic romance than strict PWP. I don't think it matters so much. I wrote it more for the sex than the story. XD I'm sucha bad author. Bwahahahaha~ Read at your own risk.

This fic is intended for an adult audience (ahem 18+). There is sex within these words. Lots of sex. Someone stop me now D: This is unbeta'ed, though I read through it a couple times trying to catch everything. Sorry ya'll~

Chapter 1: Hold Me

"I saw you looking at me Wolfram," said a husky voice against my ear. He nipped at my ear once, sending a small spark of pleasure.

I drew in a deep, surprised breath and my hand flew to cover my ear. I hadn't heard anyone come up behind me, something that hadn't happened since I started soldiering. It rattled my nerves beyond what I'd been thinking of. "Murata," I growled, low in my throat. "What the hell do you mean?"

The thing was, I was on the second floor landing looking out a window that peered at the courtyard below. This didn't leave me much room to jump back and unsheathing my sword would be awkward.

"In the fountain," he chuckled. "I saw you staring at me. Did you enjoy it?"

A blush spread over my pale face. I hated when I blushed but I was too pale and it seemed like everything brought a blush to my cheeks. It made me look ugly, angry even, when I wasn't. I knew what he was talking about though. Yuuri had come back after a long, three month absence with Murata in tow. They'd popped up like daises in the fountain behind the castle. It was in a little used section of the gardens where the summer lilies bloomed at night.

I'd wanted to show Yuuri those flowers one night, to sneak out like thieves for a midnight picnic and enjoy some romantic time alone, but Yuuri had hated the idea and then had left. Originally, they were supposed to be back within the week but managed to say away for a whooping three months. He'd said it was an accident, that he still wasn't used to the time changes. I believed him, but a part of me was still hurt. It stung. I pushed it away. Love is a responsibility. I can't let my whims and momentary displeasures ruin the life I wanted to build with him.

Murata had come with bags and bags of clothing and other things. He hadn't been in the mood to disclose all he'd brought with him, only said that he was coming to live the rest of his life in Shin Makoku and had brought what he needed. He'd arrived wearing not the normal black uniform I'd become accustomed to seeing but a skin tight shirt, the material too thin for the approaching winter. It clung to him like a second skin, giving me ample opportunity to see the muscles under neither. His nipples were taunt and he wasn't wearing any glasses. I could see how smoky his eyes were, framed by a forest of dark lashes.

My mouth went dry at the sight of him and I had to tear my gaze back to my fiancé. When had Murata gotten so damn sexy and why was it affecting me? I licked my lips, trying to focus on Yuuri. My fiancé was a normal, everyday sight in his baggy black uniform. Yuuri was my --

Teeth scrapped against the lobe of my ear again. Murata was so close I could feel his body heat and smell the strong soap he used. I jumped again like a scared rabbit and backed into him. His cock was hard against my back. A hand came up to hold one hip against him, fingers bite into my tender flesh.

My breath caught and everything fluttered out of my mind so completely at the feel of him behind me, his hands on my hips pushing be against him, and his hot breath in my ear.

Murata chuckled again, as if this was the most amusing thing he'd done all year. His hands moved slowly cover my body, one brushing and teasing my nipples with gentle pressure until they became hard points for him while the other moved up to splay against my belly. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. "The most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

A warmth spread from my belly, enveloping my whole body. My own penis hardened against my will and a moan escaped my mind.

He pressed wet kisses on my ear, nibbling, then moving to press kisses against my jaw and down the side of my neck. My hand covered his in an attempt to push him away, but as if my body had its own demands, my fingers laced with his own and my hips rocked against Murata's. The need was almost all encompassing and utterly new to me. My head lulled against his shoulder, giving him more room to kiss me.

His hand carried my own with it down to my throbbing cock and squeezed it over the cloth of my pants. I moaned, unable to hold it in. I felt my whole world spin and I wondered when I'd become such a wanton whore. I tried to push images of Yuuri into my mind to give me something solid to hold onto but the feel away against the pressure of his hand on me.

"I love that sound you make," he said, nipping at my shoulder. He bathed the area with a sweep of his tongue.

My free hand flew to cover my mouth but another moan escaped. Oh Shinou, what is going on? I don't act like this.

Murata stopped all his ministrations so abruptly that it made the breath leave my body. He let go and stepped away from me, head turned away from me. I reached out to the wall for support and stared at him, eyes the size of saucers I'm certain. My legs couldn't support my weight and I folded down onto the floor.

Voices traveled from the far end of the hall and I turned my head in the direction he was looking. Two maids came out of a far room, holding large piles of clothes and chatting cheerfully to each other. They didn't seem to notice us and turned in the opposite direction.

He knelt and lifted my chin with a hand. I glared at him, breath still heaving and mind reeling. I should kick his ass, I thought, but my body felt too tense and too slack to attack. A fine sheen of sweat covered my brow. I cut my eyes away.

"Come to my room tonight," he said. He studies me for a moment longer before straightening and leaving me a puddle there on the floor.

I watched him until he disappeared around the corner. A terrible trembling overtook me. My body felt alive, on fire. Even the fabric of the shirt rubbing against my nipples made my breath hitch. I folded my arms across my chest trying to make it stop. What was wrong with me? I let him do that to me. I was acting like a whore.

Sure, Murata was handsome but he'd never made me feel this way before nor had he ever made any advances towards me. He'd never made any advance towards a man. He was as straight as the cliché arrow. He didn't do this.

I chewed on my bottom lip. My heart still beat hard in my chest. 'What is wrong with you, Wolfram? You've been kissed before, groped before. Hell, you've been sleeping with Yuuri for years now. That was nothing!'

It hadn't been the same and I knew it. And Yuuri hardly knew I was there. I could hardly use that as an example of desire.

Stupid! Stupid! I picked myself off the floor and dusted myself off. I would NOT sleep him. I would ignore him, I decided as I walked to the dinning room. Lunch would be served soon. Yuuri would worry ...

--8--8--

Yuuri didn't seem worried that I was late. In face, he didn't even noticed I'd come in. That was okay. I was used to it. He was in an animated conversation with Lord Weller, the topic of which I couldn't hear as I stood in the arched doorway. I just stared at him, soaking up his handsome profile and know he was mine. The feeling made me happy.

Murata was seated at the round dinner table, back turned from me as he talked with Gwendal. I paused for a moment and considered running away. That would make my family wonder and how could I explain the situation? I wondered where all my marvelous resolve had gone.

I took another moment to gather myself before walking into the room. I saw him shift ever so slightly at my entrance and I swore I could feel his smoldering eyes on me, though when I looked, he had his face turned towards my older brother. I dropped my eyes from his back and took my place beside Yuuri.

"Where are your glasses, Geika?" Greta asked, kicking her legs as she sat.

Her voice startled me. I hadn't even seen her. What kind of a parent was I? But instead of paying her any attention, I found myself turning to look at Murata, my eyes eating him up.

"I have them back in my room. I thought I'd try wearing contacts," he explained, buttering a roll and then handing it to her. Without his glasses, his whole face seemed to open up and I was forced to see how handsome he was. His hair feathered about his brow, making his eyes look a lot larger. He picked up another and gestured to me. "Want one?" he asked with one side of his mouth curved up.

I stared at his fingers. Murata had very long, graceful fingers and they made me feel funny. My mouth went dry again and I had to tear my gaze from him. I felt the blush creep up across my features. There was nothing to do about that. "No thanks," I said stiffly. "I can butter my own."

"Oh but," Murata said, a full, lazy smile spreading over his face. "I enjoy buttering yours. It's entirely my pleasure" He held it out to me and I had to take it. What would everyone say if I didn't take it?

Our hands touched when he passed me the roll and a shiver of pleasure went through me. I jumped and almost dropped the roll.

"Are you okay?" Yuuri asked, only half turned towards me.

I couldn't look at him so I turned my attention to my plate. It was the first thing Yuuri had said to me specifically since he got back (well, besides the general meet and greets.) It made me feel warm inside. "I'm okay," I said. "I just stood and almost tripped." I winced at how stupid that sounded but the King took the explanation with a nod and turned back to Weller.

My hand came down on Greta's kicking legs and I gave her the look. She smiled at me, innocent, and I felt worse than I had before. Oh Shinou, I'd cheated on her father.

Lunch ended too soon and I hadn't the stomach to eat under the smoky glances the Great Sage shot me. By the end of an hour, I was climbing up the walls for being so hungry. Damn that lecher! This was all Murata's fault. I didn't even have the peace of mind to concentrate on my daughter or fiancé.

My mind was caught on all the possible reasons he was coming after me and what I could do about it. I couldn't tell Yuuri or my family. None would believe me. Everyone knows how Murata chases skirts. I find it a miracle that he doesn't have fifty bastard children running about him. He probably slept with a different woman each night.

I felt guilty at that thought but pushed it away. The truth was that he had never made any move towards a man and the soldiers about him never made any move onto him, which was perhaps the strangest thing of all. Why would he...

I stood and left training yard. This train of thought had done me no good. It had only served to muddle my mind and I was incredibly hungry. The kitchen women weren't sympathetic to my plight. Even when I said I'd been sick and unable to eat my lunch. They threw me out, waving large wooden spoons and calling me names. I swear I heard a muffled laugh amongst them as well.

As if my route, my mind when back to Murata. He probably could've talked them into giving me some food. He could probably sweet talk a stone into giving him water.

I decided to search for Yuuri. He's presence always had a calming affect on me (though he didn't believe me when I told him.) I looked in all his normal haunts, the large and small library, his study, our room, Greta's suite of rooms, before I decided to look outside. Autumn was fleeing too fast this year and the wind blew cold through the bare tree's. I had a thicker jacket upstairs but didn't want to grab it.

He wasn't outside either. Neither in the training yard nor in the make shift baseball field. I searched the stables and made a cursory search of the gardens as well. Nothing.

I shifted my attention to finding my daughter and had no luck either.

It was just after four, about two hours left until dinner. I pressed my hand against my growling stomach. I hadn't been thinking of it but found myself at the smaller library door. This had been the room Gunter chose to teach Yuuri his lessons. Being within its walls made me feel more comfortable. I was missing him like crazy.

I paused at the door as my stomach ripped another loud growl of protest. Maybe I could brave the spoons once more. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and shut the door behind me. Nah, that's the last lecture I need from my big brother.

An amused chuckle had my body stiffening. "Hungry?"

I glared at him.

He held up his hands in a peace offering. "I'm here just to read," he said, lifting the book on his lap. "Unless you want to do something else?" His lashes fluttered down and back up, taking my whole person in.

I stared for a moment too long. I had every right to be here and Murata hadn't even been here when I'd come in earlier. This was the place Yuuri and I studied... Okay, this was the place Yuuri studied and I hovered to make sure Gunter didn't try to jump him. Same difference to me. The point is that I shouldn't have to be afraid of him.

So, to prove I wasn't afraid, I walked into the room and kept to the edges. Pathetic, you might think. I don't care. My small bit of courage was to turn my back to him as I browsed (I resisted the urge to look over my shoulder.) I pressed my eyes shut, realizing just how stupid I was. He must think I'm ridiculous. The irrational feeling grew so much that I no longer saw the books in front of me.

I blindly reached for one, pulling it off the shelve and stalked over to the door. The brass knob was cool on my palm when I stopped, book clutched tight to my chest as if to protect me, and said, "I am not going to your room tonight, you pervert!" With that, I escaped and pretended I didn't hear the laughter that trailed after me.

In the end, I spent the almost two hours leading up to dinner in my old room. It was tiny compared to Yuuri's, but clean non-the-less. It also held all my childhood treasures, everything that wasn't proper to bring into Yuuri's vast room. I never felt comfortable in Yuuri's room when he wasn't around, it was too large and empty. I felt like a wayward soldier lost in a desert of fine blankets. And now that winter was upon them, this small room heated faster by the fireplace and stayed hot longer, making it so much more cozy.

The book, an travel log of Tamsin the Bard, proved to be interesting as well. He lived about two thousand years ago and his gift for air magic allowed him to make the most wonderful music. This was back before the human lands forgot the old ways and still had some communion with the elementals. He wrote about all the strange human customs. More than once I wondered if any of these tails were even true.

Dinner came right as I was reading about the bare chested women of Lucitial country. I'd never heard of that country before so I'm assuming it's dead by now. The women had an uprising and it was proclaimed that if men could wake around naked to the waist, so can women. It was apparently quite common by the time Tamsin arrived. He mentions how weird it was to see women fully clothed. I chuckled as I set the book aside and went over to my wash table.

I stared at myself in the mirror, wishing to see something -- maybe someone -- different. Much talk was made about my white blond hair and green eyes but in the end, Yuuri still wasn't attracted to me. Save for Elizabeth, no one had really shown a lasting interest in me. I sighed. It was stupid to think about and I knew it. I had so much that other people didn't. I can't complain about my life.

I sighed again and pulled my shirt down, as if that could remove the wrinkles of laying about on my bed for two hours. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked closer at my face to make sure I had no blemishes.

Stupid Wolfram, get a move on. I was nervous about not seeing Yuuri for so long. Part of me wanted to fly down the hall to find him but another part wondered why I hadn't seen him or Greta all day. Stupid, stupid me, I thought again and forced myself into motion.

I was almost breathless when I reached the dinning room but Yuuri hadn't arrived yet. I smiled. At least that was in my favor. I took my place and shook my napkin open, spreading it across my lap. The butterflies still fluttered in my belly, but I could ignore them.

Murata was seated across from me, talking quietly with Lord Weller about the new troupes from the south he was going to train. He glanced up at my arrival but his gaze had lost a bit of its heat. That made me wonder. Neither Greta or my older brother had arrived yet. That gave me a great pause and deeper foreboding.

I was wondering if I could excuse myself from the room when Yuuri came in, Gwendal in tow. My older brother's brows were furrowed in a look of deep thought. My eyes slid over him and rested on my fiancé. My heart beat painfully in my chest and I felt faint. He wouldn't look at me and he was carrying a folded letter in both hands. All the sudden, I understood why Greta wasn't here. I understood why I hadn't seen Greta all afternoon. He'd probably talked to her first.

My gaze fell to the empty china plate. I couldn't leave, couldn't run away, because I knew the moment I stood, I would pass out. He stopped before me and I couldn't look at him. He talked about how he loved me as a friend and he wanted me to remain at his side, how he needed my support for this country and friendship sake, and how Greta needed me. I can still feel the intense stares the others gave me as I heard all this.

At the end, he handed me the letter. I broke the seal with my thumb, uncaring that I'd ripped the fine muslin paper. As I thought, the letter was formal in nature, an official breaking of the engagement. Not a hint of caring for all the years I'd given him or any sign of the love I'd wished for so long.

My eyes fluttered down.

"I'm getting a room prepared," he was saying as I folded up the damnable missive. I set the letter on my plate and looked at him. He avoided my eyes, the coward.

"I have a room," I said in the coldest voice I could manage. "I'll move the rest of my things after dinner."

Yuuri looked at me for a moment, still not meeting my eyes. He looked stricken, as if my tone had been a punch to his gut. Well, I didn't care. I ground my teeth together and decided I would leave Blood Pledge. I'd leave Yuuri and my brothers and all the horrible years I spent here behind me and start anew. I'd be damned if I watched him court some stupid Lady.

He must've read my expression because his following words stung me worse than breaking the engagement had. "You will take over Conrad’s position, Wolfram," he said softly. "Conrad needs to focus on training the new soldiers. He can't be following me around."

Color stained my cheeks. Humiliation heaped upon humiliation. So now I was demoted to a lower position than that ... that half breed? I stood suddenly, palms flat on the dinning table. Everyone jumped and Yuuri took a step back as if I would attack him right there. I saw the furtive glances he sent the silver wear but chose to ignore it. I drew in a long, deep breath and waited for the rage to over take me. Only, it didn't. I wasn't shaking and I found I could stand without feeling like passing out.

Instead of all the normal emotions, I felt a certain hollowness and a reinforcement of long held believes: if I just waited long enough, everyone left me in the end. I was never good enough to be loved. Never enough of anything to make people stay. I stared at the lacework table cloth before turning cold eyes onto my ex-fiancé.

"I'll go get my things. May I be excused Heika?"

---8---8---

"You knew, didn't you?" I pushed my way into Murata's room without must resistance. The door shut with a click behind me. I felt stupid being here but I had to be certain. I'd just spent the last hour boxing up my few personal affects and carrying them down to my room. Yuuri had tried to help but I stopped him. Then he'd tried to send someone to help and I just about murdered them both. Great start to my new career.

It was a lot easier to think about the reason behind Murata's sudden attack of lust than to think of why Yuuri had dumped me. And if he'd known -- and not told me before hand -- I was going to kill him.

Murata regarded my murderous stare for a long moment before turning his back to me and walking further into his apartments. Of course I followed him in.

His suite of rooms smelled like old books and the small fire that burned in the fireplace. His rooms, all together, were almost as large as Yuuri's but had been divided into rooms. The bedroom was the largest but there were also two other rooms, one used for a library-slash-study and the other for a sitting room. The sitting room looked like it was just an extension of the library.

"I didn't know," he said at the entrance of his bedroom. He paused. "Do you want a drink?"

"Liar," I shot out at his back. "I know he tells you everything. You're his best friends." I said that last bit with a lot of resentment.

He turned to peer at me thoughtfully. He walked over to his king-sized bed and sat at the edge. "What do you want me to say?"

I followed him into the room, staring at the spot on the bed he now patted. My lips pursed. I thought of the time earlier today and how stupid it was to be alone in here with him but... I didn't know. I sighed, trying to keep that weariness to myself. Getting through the act of moving my stuff had worked because I had a purpose, but could I get through a night alone, knowing Yuuri was sleeping in the castle?

I wasn't sure if I could. Murata seemed the lesser of the two evils.

I folded my arms across my chest. "I want the truth," I said with a obstinate tilt of my chin.

He patted the spot next to him. I could see in his eyes that he wouldn't talk until I moved next to him. With an overblown sigh, I sat down as far away from him as I could and still be next to him. He moved over, the bed dipping under his weight. I sat so rigid and unstable on my perch that when the bed shifted, I fell against him. His arm came around my shoulder to keep there.

"You don't want the truth," Murata told me. "You want me to say I knew and I planned this whole thing."

I glared at him. He wouldn't let me pull out of his embrace and I was afraid my cheeks would stain that awful red they so loved to color. I opened my mouth to protest this unjust accusation but he cut me off,

"I knew he wanted to break the engagement." He laughed as I went rigid in his embrace. "Wait, before you kill me, let me finish. He's been telling me that for years. Each time we go to Earth together, he declares he's going to break the engagement." He sighed and let me go to run his hands through his hair. "I thought he was just talking hot air. The only advice I told him was to tell you first before making the announcement. I'm guessing he didn't?"

I shook my head and bit at my trembling bottom lip. I didn't want him to see how much it affected me. He had to know but I didn't have to be an open book about it.

His hands came up to rub small circles onto my lower back and I leaned into the first physical contact I'd had for a long time (I was blissfully forgetting the days earlier events.) I pushed out my bottom lip and said, "The weird thing is... I don't feel anything." My hands twisted in the hem of my shirt and I looked at him. One of his hands moved up to rub the base of my neck. "Is that normal? Maybe I've been expecting this for a long time."

"I think you're in shock," he murmured, much to close to my ear then was proper. The gentle messaging motions of his hands warmed me in a way I hadn't been for such a long time. Not since... well, needless to say, I didn't want to stop this. I knew I had to, but my whole body yearned for the warmth he was creating.

I stared down at my hands. "I don't know." I licked my lips, wincing as I tasted blood. "I feel like a horrible person. I should be throwing things or crying or doing something about it all. I should be making Yuuri give me back my life. I feel mute and helpless." I let out a bitter laugh. "I can't even call him Yuuri anymore, can I?"

"Hm," he said and I was suddenly happy that he wasn't offering annoying platitudes. I would've kicked his ass if he said something like, 'at least it's over' or 'now you can move on with your life'. How was that supposed to make me feel any better? It was a kick to my chest when I was already down on the ground. I wanted to move my life forward with Yuuri. I wanted to love Yuuri and be by his side as his equal. Not be some stupid guard that he could so easily not see.

He turned my head with two fingers and kissed me. It was a light, probing kiss. A tasting, testing kind of kiss. His tongue bathed my lower lip and peeked inside my mouth, as if seeking entrance. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, tenderly tugging at it as if he could heal the wounds I'd created. The feeling was startling and I gasped. He used the opportunely to delve deep into my mouth, running his tongue along my teeth. When our tongues finally touched, an explosion of pleasure burst within.

I pulled back, forcibly and gulped at the air. My face couldn't have gotten any redder. Oh, how embarrassing that is. "What are you doing?" I whispered a bit stupidly. No one had ever done that to me before.

He cocked a brow and smiled. "A kiss, Wolf. Just a simple kiss." Somehow, the pet name sounded dangerous on his wicked lips. I thought I might melt just hearing him say my name.

I was in trouble and I realized it only too late. Before I could make any move, however, he kissed me again and all my vaulted will to protest shattered. He pressed me against the bed, a hand under my shirt. This time when he kissed there was nothing tentative about it. Our tongues danced until I thought my head would explode. My body seemed only too ready to receive his attentions and my cock hardened under the pressure of Murata's own arousal.

This is bad, I thought, as my hands wove through the silk of his hair. His hair was thick and as soft as spun silk. That was a rare trait, to have thick, silken hair. Yuuri's hair is thick but it's as coarse as a nettles bush. I liked running my fingers through it.

I enjoyed his freshly bathed scent as well. I didn't like men who smelled like women with their flowery perfume nor was I one to want to enjoy the smell of sweat (I'd spent too much time around sweating soldiers to enjoy that.) He smelled like soap and I liked that.

Murata broke the kiss this time, drawing up on his elbows so he could study my face. I waited several moments before opening my eyes and saw the smoky, intense look in those black depths. The darks of his eyes had gone wide, almost obliterating what little color he had in them. The look made me catch my breath. It said I was the most beautiful, the most desirable person in the world.

He traced a finger down the edge of my chin and shifted so his full weight wasn't pressing down on me. He smiled into my eyes as a hand came down to cup my erection.

I gasped and bucked under the touch. He kissed me, eating my little moans as he stroked me.

"Stay with me," he whispered into my ear. He kissed it, licking the lob. "I want you fully present. No more thinking..." He moved down to my neck, my chin. I let my head fall to the side and pressed it against his shoulder, my teeth involuntarily biting into the tender flesh of his neck. I couldn't help it. It seemed like my body wasn't my own.

With a muffled groan, he sat up, his hand stopping the slow stroking on my cock. "God," he said. "You're so beautiful."

He ran another hand down the side of my face, as if he was planning on leaving me. My whole body cried in protest, my arms reaching up to hook around his neck and pull him back down to me. 'Don't leave me,' I wanted to cry. Shame slammed into me at that moment of weakness.

He let me pull him down and he kissed me again, a chuckle filling the scant space between us. "Wait," he moaned. "Just a moment..." He pushed me back down on the bed, a smile curving that mouth. He sat up again and chuckled as I squirmed under him. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it to the ground.

He was as muscular as I thought and his nipples a dusky rose color. He let me study him for several moments before he tugged my own shirt, half lifting me off the bed as he pulled my shirt over off. He kissed me again as I settled on the bed then moved to kiss each of my nipples. He shifted and kissed each of my ribs as he traveled lower.

"You have an outtie," he said, sucking on my belly button. I stared at him, thick eyed, wondering what he was talking about. He didn't bother to elaborate, thank Shinou.

He had my belt off before I realized what he was doing, but made no immediate move to tug my pants down. He reached down and tugged off my boots and socks, kissing the sole of each foot before setting them down. He moved up again and unbuttoned my pants, tucking them off before I could protest -- not that I thought I could.

I blinked at him as his hand went under my underwear and enclosed around my cock. His thumb brushed the head, spreading the clear pre-cum around until it glistened in the thin candle light. He watched my expression as if he were eating me up. Somehow, this hadn't been real to me until just now. The cool air felt good against my heated skin and his hand around my cock was heavenly but ...

"What are you --" Woo hoo, I win the prize for the stupidest question. His hand tightened and his tongue flicked against my nipple. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked against my nipple, letting go of my cock to tease my other nipple.

I whimpered. "Please," I said, not sure whether I was pleading for him to stop or for him to touch me again. The black scrap of underwear was the last thing to disappear, leaving me as naked as the day I was born. I was certain he would turn away from me in disgust.

Instead, those dark eyes regarded every inch of me as if I was on buffet and he was the most hungry man in existence. He studied my chest and my nipples hardened again under the intense stare. His eyes went lower, studying my cock, the hair on my thighs. My legs drew up, as if to hid the evidence of my need from him. A hand on my knees stilled me.

Lashes feathered down as he lowered his eyes and then looked back up into my eyes. Satisfaction was written all over that face and it relaxed me, as if I'd passed a test. His eyes locked with mine as he lowered his face to my stomach. He bathed my belly button again, kissing it and nipping it tenderly.

His head moved down and now he was too close to my cock. I covered my face, suddenly embarrassed.

"Don't," he admonished with a frown. "I love watching your face when I love you."

He moved up me then, pressing our chests together. The feel of his bare skin against mine was the most sensual experience I'd experience. It was different from the raw lust of him touching me. It made me feel warmer than all of Yuuri's smiles put together. I wrapped my arms around him to keep him there. "Do you feel what do you to me?" he asked, kissing my cheek. I could feel his hard erection through the fabric of his pants. "Let me love you tonight," he whispered, eating another moan that forced its way through my mouth.

My hips rose, my legs hooking around his hips. He hissed with the pleasure of it, the first real sound of pleasure I'd hear from it. It fascinated me, made me hotter. I bucked again, carefully grinding against him and was delighted at the moan I received.


His hands came down on my hips and held them against the bed. "You're too hot, Wolf." He licked my ear, moving down. "You're driving me crazy."

He grabbed my cock again and paused, looking up at me. "Can I?" he asked. His thumb feathered over the head and I saw him lick his lips, as if he were about the eat the most delicious cake. "You have the most beautiful cock I've ever seen."

I shifted, but he didn't move until I said, "please." He still didn't make any move. Tears of frustration gathered in the corners of my eyes. "Please ... don't stop," it was the closest I could say. Murata seemed to nod. He kissed the head and I groaned with horror as he sat up.

"I want you to be honest with me," he said, leaning over me to the bedside table. I followed the graceful movement a little desperately. "If it hurts, let me know."

He kissed me once, a small kiss, before straightened and uncapping a small bottle of clear liquid. "What's that?" I tried to sit up but found my body too dazed to follow even the slightest commands.

He grinned, squirting a dab on his palm. Carefully he capped the bottle and put it on the table. He clapped his hands together, rubbing them vigorously. Unease coursed through my belly. I knew what was coming and wasn't sure I could handle it. Only someone who's lived under a rock could get away with not knowing what sex was. The thing that flashed in my mind was just how painful it would be.

A slick hand grabbed my cock and pushed away all my budding protests. He stroked me several times before moving down to cup my balls, gently messaging them, and moving lower, to the sensitive stripe of skin between my balls and anus.

His eyes never left my face as he kissed the head of my penis, drawing it into his mouth. I cried out when he released me again, only to buck my hips wildly as he drew my balls into his mouth. He sucked on one gently before drawing the other into his mouth, his finger never ceasing its gentle message.

My hands wove through his hair there as I pushed my hips up, trying to get more of him. His finger rubbed the entrance of my anus as he moved his attention to my cock again, trailing his tongue up the length. As his mouth drew me in, a finger pushed in. The mixture of pleasure and pain exploded in my body and I twisted, panting and gasping now, not caring how I looked to him. I needed more.

He paused, as if realizing I was on the edge of orgasm. When my panting slowed, his mouth moved up and down my cock while his fist made certain no part of me was without pleasure. A second finger was added, stretching me gently. I found it harder to breath, my shallow gasps only serving to make my head whirl.

"Mura!" I gasped as the fingers in my bent and he rubbed against ... something. I arched my back and screamed. This pleased him more. He increased the pressure on my cock, his fingers digging into that secret spot, stroking me closer and closer. I didn't even feel the tears that leaked from my eyes or hear the whimpered pleas. I was lost within the wonders of his mouth on me.

"I want you to cum for me, Wolf," he whispered, tongue flicking against the head. "Cum for me, love." His movements speed up and I felt myself the orgasm crash over me. My body went rigid and I thought, 'there is no way of surviving this,' before darkness swarmed over me.

I was dreaming again. I always know when I'm dreaming, it's like a sixth sense or something. The trick isn't in the knowing but in how to escape the dream. That is something I've never been able to do. I see my mother, beautiful in a long black dress. Her hair is up and a warm wind ruffles through it. She lifts me up by my armpits and sets me on the carriage. I'm being sent away again, as she does every time I close my eyes to sleep.

My eyes snap open just as I see the last of her and I drew in an involuntary breath. I had no idea where I was. The quilt pulled up to my waist was unfamiliar and so was the peculiar smell of old books that surrounded me. I blinked, tired, and tried to remember when the events of the day hit me over the head. I turned my head up to find Murata's black eyes starting down at him. He had an expression of ... what? I wasn't certain. I'd never seen it before but it made my heart beat hard in my chest.

His fingers brushed my face. "Bad dream?" he asked, setting a book I hadn't even noticed on the bedside table. "Want to tell me about it?"

No one had ever asked me to tell them my dream. Not Yuuri, in all the long years we'd shared a bed. No one had cared enough. I wet my lips. Yuuri, oh Shinou. I remembered his speech to me. How easy it must have been to dump me. Tears filled my eyes, the heavy weight of my dream making it harder to come up for air.

Oh Shinou, how he hated me. I couldn't think of what I had done. I was only vaguely aware of Murata's arms going around me as I started to tremble. I put my hands over my eyes as if that would stop the tears. I wouldn't cry. I never cried. My heart would break before I cried, I told myself, and yet my tears leaked out and sobs filled my mouth.

"Why does everyone leave me? What did I do? Am I such a horrible person?"

He said nothing, just kissed my brow, my hair, the tears that leaked between my hands, and held me until I felt into blessed oblivion.

---8---8---

TBC~

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