Beyond Words

Nagi lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. The dream had come back, and it was worse than ever. A dream so vivid that it seemed to come from his own memories rather than from his imagination, it haunted Nagi regularly, and as time had wore on, it was beginning to come more readily, with different images, different actions, but all ending with the same result that woke him with a start and caused him to stare at the wall for minutes at a time so that he could in fact discern that it was a dream and not reality. Tonight, it took him a few moments longer to realize he was awake. He concentrated on the lines in the wall, on the engravings in the cement work from years of those Deadmen before him and some were even of his own doings. It was a small trick he used when he would wake up from his dreams. Finding that if he forced his brain to memorize something else, then the bloodied images burned into his brain may dissipate he worked at perfecting this ability for himself so that it could be done quicker each time.

Slowly, his eyes stopped seeing red, the lines in the wall became more prominent, and then the walls themselves materialized behind them before the rest of the room came with it. Nagi sighed with relief and lay back, looking up at the ceiling of his cell. On other nights, he would fall back asleep and try to not worry about the dreams anymore. They didn’t normally come twice in one night, though there had been instances where his happened. Tonight, Nagi couldn’t will that drowsiness that came from waking up late into the night to lull him back into a deep sleep. He was wide-awake and there was nothing he could do about it at this point. Getting up out of bed, he walked over to the door of his cell and glanced through the window. There was no easy way he could get out for a walk at this time of the night, but it was what he wanted to do more than anything.

He went over to his side table and pulled out the drawer, rummaging for something while he pulled a long pin out of his pocket. When he found what he was looking for, he went over and crouched by the door handle with his two items. On the door, there was just a simple handle with a hidden keyhole. Rokuro, being the hacker that he was, had discovered how to disable and open these keyholes for a short amount of time without tripping the alarm on the inside. Nagi plugged the machine from the table into an outlet on the wall and placed the appropriate pins around the lock before turning it on. It whirred a moment and there was a soft click from in the door’s locking system and the keyhole opened. Taking the long pin he had had in his pocket, he picked it gently and carefully before it clicked as well and the easier of the two was undone. Quickly, he put away his tools and looked out the window of his cell for a moment before opening it quietly so that none of the guards would hear it.

Taking only a short moment to look, he made sure no one was outside his door before leaving and making his way down the hallway towards the laundry room. Though dangerous, it was a walk of some kind so it would clear Nagi’s head in the way he hoped it would. Thankfully, Nagi didn’t run into anybody directly and made it to the laundry room in one piece. Closing the door quietly behind him, he sighed and went over to one of the chairs and sat down, staring up at it and trying to not think about what it would be like if his wife were still alive. It depressed him too much to think of his late wife, naturally. Idly, he reached for the locket that hung around his neck and touched it, smiling to himself softly. Nagi had hope that he would get out, and he would find his child. To hold his child, was the most precious of his wishes and he would continue to fight for that dream even if he died doing it.

A while went by before he anything happened, but when it did, he turned his head with a start to the door and just as he was about to get up, Senji came through and shut the door behind him rather quickly. Even in the dark, Nagi could tell that it was Senji. There was no mistaking that way he stood with his shoulders slightly slouched. Still, in this place you could never be too careful. Both of them stood there without saying a word until suddenly the lights flickered on and Senji stood at the door. Nagi resisted glaring at the man and simply sat back down. “Oh ho! What is the great leader Nagi doing out of his cell this late at night?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Nagi replied hoarsely. The device that had been installed into his neck enabled him to speak only well enough for others to hear him. “What about you?”

Senji shrugged. “I guess you could say I couldn’t sleep either…”

Nagi nodded and looked at the hands he had in his lap. “If you don’t turn the lights off, Senji, we may get caught.”

Again, Senji merely shrugged and ignored the statement that he knew was more of a request. He leaned against the wall and smirked, obviously enjoying the little bit of playing around he was doing. “How come you can’t sleep? Bad dream?”

“Senji, please,” Nagi said, looking up at his fellow prisoner with a look that showed he wasn’t in the mood for games. He got up and decided to go over and flick the lights off himself. “I want to be out a few more minutes before I have to go back, and I’d rather not have to go back by force…”

There was a grin on Senji’s face that Nagi didn’t like and as he reached for the switch, the other Deadman grabbed his arm and pulled it back, using the momentum from the forced used to bring it all the way around to the wall and hold him there. Nagi, as his first defense, threw his arm to Senji at full force but stopped abruptly when something sharp was pressed against his neck. Glancing down, he saw that Senji’s forearms weren’t cut. Nagi realized he must have bit his finger and materialized a small blade from there. He looked up at Senji with a glare. Chuckling, Senji pressed the blade into his prey’s neck a little more, but not enough to cut. The Deadman, aptly named Crow, was well aware of what Nagi could do. “C’mon, Owl, live a little…”

“You’re crazy…” He said, hoarsely and glared at him. Nagi wrapped his fingers around his wrist and tried to force his arm back. “Let go of me, Senji.”

Senji didn’t ease his hand back, but there was something outside the door. The footsteps of a guard, echoing along the hall, reached their ears and the look on Nagi’s face turned to panic. Senji’s, on the other hand, became almost maniacal and he laughed. “Flutter, little Owl! Let’s have fun and fight!”

Nagi growled and pushed harder on the hand, using all the force he had but he still couldn’t just use his hands to move Senji. “Damn it Senji!” He couldn’t use his branch of sin without alerting anyone that they were in the laundry room, and so his only choice was to use brute force on Senji, which proved difficult. Thinking quickly, he covered Senji’s mouth with his hand and swung a leg up, striking him in the side with as much strength he could muster and from the surprise attack, Senji stumbled back far enough for Nagi to gain some room to move and with one quick swipe at the light switches, enveloped the whole room in total darkness again. On the ground, Senji began cursing and in order to keep him quiet, Nagi fumbled until he found him and covered his mouth, sitting on him so that he wouldn’t be thrown off. Senji struggled a moment, but soon stopped for some unknown reason. Nagi wasn’t paying attention to Senji, but more so to listening to the footsteps coming down the hall. The sound they made echoed on the other side of the door, sending only a mild reverberation through the metal to meet Nagi’s ears. Listening intently, he didn’t notice that Senji had adjusted himself on the floor and begun watching Owl as he trained his ears to hear. They stopped…Nagi thought, his heart pounding anxiously as he waited for them to move on. Senji adjusted himself again and Nagi squeezed his thighs to keep him from rotating his hips anymore. In surprise, a small sound was emitted from his throat, but it only came out as a small vibration against Nagi’s hand. After a moment, something touched Nagi’s side and he flinched, snapping his gaze down to Senji, who’s own face he couldn’t see. Still no receding footsteps. Someone spoke outside and Nagi turned his head that way again, only to redirect it back to Senji, who squeezed his side unexpectedly. A strange and agitated feeling crawled from the point in his side and he shook involuntarily. He glared, but knew that it went unnoticed by Senji who squeezed again. Nagi bit his lip this time and found with a bit of surprise that he almost let out a noise from such a feeling. Leaning over, he pried Senji’s hand from his side and hissed in his ear, “Don’t.”

Crow merely grinned under Nagi’s hand and moved his hand back, reaching around completely this time and grabbing Owl’s ass, giving it a good squeeze. It felt awkward, seeing as he never thought of himself to be felt up by a man before, and he frowned, trying to pry Senji’s hand from his body. As he scrabbled and awkwardly pulled at the other man’s hand, he felt the other reach up and squeeze his other side. Refusing to make a sound, Nagi held his breath so as to not gasp as the tingling and warm feeling shocked him even more now that it was getting more and more intense. Senji’s hands took the chance to roam his body more, though Nagi tried to control them both without letting go of Senji’s mouth and without making much noise himself. Having Crow’s hands on his body felt strange and different, but he was finding all the places his late wife used to touch him, and caress him with the intention of seeking out pleasure and love making late into the night. Gritting his teeth, Nagi pulled the one hand from Senji’s mouth and quickly grabbed both of his wrists, squeezing hard to keep hold of them while he moved them above Senji’s head.

“Hey, I was just-mmph!” His comment was cut short when Nagi’s hand was back to covering his mouth and he sighed behind it, closing his remaining eye. Owl glared at Senji and listened to see if the guards had left yet. He heard them talk a moment more and then continue down the hallways. Their footsteps receded quickly and once he couldn’t hear them anymore, he moved his gaze down to Senji who was looking up at him again.

“You are crazy, you know? I suppose you’ve heard that many times.” Nagi said in a low and angry voice as he let go and got off of him, leaning against the wall with a sigh. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Senji in the dark. Even if the black gloom hid the look that was on his face, he had a feeling that Senji would tell anyways. “What was with you touching me like that anyways?”

Nagi heard Senji shift, but didn’t open his eyes. “It was too tempting to resist.”

“What? Getting caught?” Nagi resisted sneering at him.

“No.” This time, Nagi heard Senji shift, only it had come closer and he had become aware of a presence that had appeared somewhere above him. Snapping his eyes open, Nagi was face to face with the dark shadow of Crow, and he shrank back into the wall. Senji closed in. His breath was close enough to be felt on Nagi’s skin and he resisted the urge to shudder, but not in revulsion. “I wanted to see the great leader, all flustered just because some guy touched him. It seems like all those years by yourself has turned you a bit queer…”

There was a cynical tone to Senji’s voice and he knew exactly what the man was implying. A moment went by in silence and Senji wondered if he had really gotten to Owl this time. After many previous unsuccessful attempts at provoking the leader of Scar Chain, he had given up but maybe this time he actually hit a nerve with him. He had no idea how right he was. Nagi launched forward, knocking him onto the floor again in the dark and he could feel him fumbling and swinging blindly at him, trying to find a good solid place to hit that could cause the most pain. A few missed and hit the metal floor, but Nagi didn’t notice and continued to throw punches, hitting Senji with a few. Immediately, Senji scrambled for the other man’s hands and tried to hold him still, but somehow Nagi’s strength had been brought out as all reason was wiped clean by this rage that seemed to be controlling him.

“Hey! Hey Nagi calm down!” Senji yelled out, finally gripping one of his wrists as he fought off the other. “Dammit!” Using everything he had, he flipped Nagi so he was on his back and proceeded to scramble for his other wrist, immobilizing the shoulder that he found and quickly working his way to the wrist the best he could. Once he had it, he kept a hold on him, gritting his teeth as Nagi writhed underneath him, trying to gain some ground to fight with. It wasn’t long before it stopped and Nagi was staring up at him in the dark. Senji smirked. “I didn’t think that would get under your skin that easily.”

Glowering, Nagi merely pushed against his hands. “Get off of me.” He retorted, not interested in any of Senji’s games. He hadn’t anticipated meeting Crow there in the laundry room that night, and had he known it would have lead to this, he would have more than likely taken a chance at trying to deal with the dream in the darkness of his cell. What he wouldn’t admit, that it bothered him more than anything that Senji had made such a bold move and he reacted to it as though it were his late wife. There were a hundred different possibilities that could come to mind to explain why his body answered this way to such touches, but there was one simple one that he wouldn’t let his mind wander into. I am not gay, Nagi insisted and shook his head physically, I may be a little sensitive from no sex for so long, or maybe my body is simply responding to the feel of another person, but…anything but that. Frowning even more, Nagi pushed more of his body up against Senji and ordered; “Get off of me now, Crow!”

“Oh, now we’re going to use pet names?” The other Deadman cooed in a cynical way with a sort of ill humor that Nagi didn’t appreciate. “Well, Owl, let’s have a little fun.”

“No! Let go now!” Nagi’s commands were useless, as Crow ignored them and descended down onto his body, his lips tracing along his chin and his tongue darting out once in a while to stroke his soft flesh and tease the nerves as he made his way down his neck. Nagi realized that just yelling at him wouldn’t work. Besides, he would end up just getting them found out by the guards right after he nearly saved them from being discovered already. Gritting his teeth at the uncomfortable feeling he felt from being felt up by Senji, he hissed, “I never knew that the great Crow was a homosexual himself. When did this happen, Crow?”

There was a pause in his actions, and then Nagi felt a tension in the hands that held him down before he was expertly flipped over onto his stomach. “I guess you can call me that if you want. A person needs sex to live, y’know? It’s like air sometimes and I start suffocating without it is all.” Nagi frowned and kicked his legs when a hand suddenly appeared under his shirt and was feeling along his stomach, trailing up to his upper chest. He couldn’t believe the nonchalant and detailed answer he was getting from him. “Usually, I can find a girl or two that’s accommodating enough to give me some of her time, but once in a while, I have to settle for a guy. They’re actually easier to handle at times.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“You’re too uptight.” Senji replied immediately and laughed. “C’mon, Owl, I bet you’re hard up for some sex too…”

Nagi kicked furiously and that made Senji stop to concentrate on keeping a hold on him. Thankfully, his shouts weren’t very loud and he could actually feel the strain on the device built into his neck. “I am not! I’m perfectly fine, thank you!”

Quickly, Senji twisted both of Nagi’s arms so that they were pressed up into his back and then pushed down on his head. He didn’t press hard enough to slam it down, but it was painful and it caused Nagi to stop moving. With one quick hand, Senji began pulling the shirt that Nagi wore up, attempting to pull it off. “Don’t make me tear your clothes, Owl.” He hissed to him, running his tongue along the back of his neck. Involuntarily, Nagi shivered and his breath became labored. Senji noticed and so as to not lose his momentum, he rubbed his lower half against Nagi’s hips, his hand now trailing down to his side where he squeezed him firmly.

With an airy gasp that could have been an attempt at a moan, Nagi’s hips jumped and he shivered again. “Stop, Senji…”

He was losing his will to fight. Grinning, Senji leaned forward and bit his neck gently, rotating his hips into him and groaning as he did. It had been a long time since he had been with anyone and after watching Nagi for a while, he decided finally that he wanted to try and conquer the great leader of Scar Chain. This man that he held down on the floor, this man that always seemed so composed and calm and friendly on the outside was what he wanted to change. Crow wanted to see his face contorted with anguish, anger, and sadness. Almost hoping for his plans for Scar Chain to fail, he wanted to see them all give up hope as their leader does. Most of all, he wanted to see Nagi’s face, completely changed and taken over by pleasure. That was what he was most anxious to see. Wanting to see how far he could push, Senji’s fingers slid down into Nagi’s pant line and he stroked him there on his hip, continuing to suck and kiss at his neck. “Nagi, I can guarantee you’ll love it…” He whispered.

That sobered Nagi up a little and he twitched, kicking his legs weakly, but his body was already past the ability to fight. All those years without sex had made him sensitive and it didn’t help that Senji knew exactly what he was doing either. Lifting his hips off of the floor a little, Senji reached forward a bit more and fumbled until he undid Nagi’s pants and pulled them down just enough for his growing erection to show. Still grinning to himself, he wrapped his fingers around it and stroked it gently, sighing as Nagi’s body shivered and he whimpered. “Senji…don’t…”

Owl’s voice was weak as he begged for Senji to stop. There was no apparent sign that he planned on doing what his prey wanted, so Owl tried thinking of some other way that he could maybe get Crow to stop. He could bite the inside of his cheek and use his branch of sin, but it may attract the attention of the guards. Senji’s fingers found the scarf he kept at his hip and suddenly, his body went cold. Not her scarf. Not my wife’s scarf! Nagi glanced back at Crow fearfully, though in the dark, the look on his face went unnoticed. Crow’s fingers found the knot and undid it, slipping it from around his waist and tossing it aside. Nagi twisted his arms, ignoring the pain in them as he looked off in the direction where his scarf must have been. Senji struggled against his efforts, but one arm wiggled out of his grasp and reached out in the dark, groping to try and find the precious piece of cloth. “What, Owl? Is that scarf that precious to you?”

Growling back, Nagi found some momentum to pull himself across the floor a little and he grunted. “It belonged to my wife, Crow!”

“Oh, that’s right.”

Nagi bit back a growl and continued reaching out until he thought he felt something at his fingertips. He tried reaching out more but suddenly lost it. That was when Senji yanked his arm back and pulled him up, sighing softly into his neck as one hand continued to feel along his body. “Crow!”

Senji ignored him and bit into his neck suddenly. The pain came first, but once it dulled and died back, there was a growing warmth that took over Nagi’s body and he shook, closing his eyes. “Forget about it for now, Owl. It’s not going anywhere…”

“I…” Nagi’s voice was cut off as Senji gripped his neck and tilted his head back, finding another place on his neck to attack with his teeth. This was new. A new feeling that he had never felt with his wife and somehow, he was beginning to enjoy it. As Senji’s fingers wrapped around his erection and stroked him gently, he couldn’t believe the lewd sounds he had begun to let out, and how easily he submitted. He wished he could be disgusted with the way their bodies came together, in the way Senji rolled his hips against Nagi’s backside and groaned in his ear as a result, but his body wouldn’t listen to him and he began to find he liked it more than he wanted to.

“Are you going to be good, Owl?” Even without looking, Nagi could tell that Senji was grinning. He turned Nagi around and let his arms go, finding with a bit of glee that he wasn’t going to resist anymore. Undoing his own pants, Crow pulled his erection out and leaned forward to bite along Nagi’s exposed chest while he rubbed his body along the length of Nagi’s. “Wrap your legs around me…”

“No…” Nagi wasn’t going to submit to him that easily. Though Crow may have seduced his body into submission, his mind was still functioning normally at the moment. Senji paused a minute then hiked up Owl’s long legs and pulled them around his waist. This lead to Nagi sitting in Senji’s lap and he realized that his eyes had adjusted to the dark when he looked down and could see the almost distinctive outlines of his features. Making Nagi’s arms do the same, Senji wrapped his own arms around Nagi and he looked up at him. Glad that it was so dark in the small laundry room, Owl looked away with an embarrassed look on his face and heat rushing to his cheeks.

Senji could see the look on his face and laughed a little before dipping his head to Nagi’s chest where he shook his head a moment, chuckling the whole time until he looked back up at him. “You can’t seriously be embarrassed, Owl.”

Nagi glared when he heard the lighthearted tone, but kept his gaze averted from him. “Of course! I’m more than embarrassed, Crow. I’m livid!”

He refused to look at Crow. It was true that while he was livid, he still made no attempt to leave or at least climb away from the man who’s lap he was in, and that made it as much his fault as Senji’s for the situation he was in. Mainly, he was angry about the many times Senji had mentioned his wife during this time and played it off like it was all a joke. That was what he was angry about, and if Senji went any farther, he would begin to hate him for it. While they were never great friends in the past, Nagi still felt that it would separate him from humanity a little if he lost Senji as a fellow man and created an enemy in him. Owl was startled when he felt a pair of fingers wrap around his cock again along with Senji’s and they began to move along the length of it, back and forth slowly to get it warmed up again. Moaning a little and shuddering, he pushed weakly against Senji, who stopped him with his other hand. “Just pretend that I’m your girl, Nagi.”

Nagi whimpered as Senji’s thumb ran over the tip and rotated in little circles, causing his legs to twitch. He closed his eyes and sighed, taking Senji’s advice. It wasn’t easy, since he normally didn’t sit in his wife’s lap and Senji smelled differently than his wife did, but he tried and after a moment, he could imagine her. As beautiful as he had always seen her in life and in his dreams, he felt his heartache and tears almost came to his eyes. I miss her…far too much…he thought as he moaned and rocked his hips into the hand that was pleasuring him; the hand he imagined to be his late wife’s. Strangely enough, Crow’s hand mimicked a lot of the movements that she used in most of the right moments and as Nagi’s climax rose, he opened his eyes and looked at the man who was touching him. The one remaining eye that was looking at him watched with an avid and desire-filled attention that made Nagi shiver to his very core. Senji’s hand didn’t stop and the intensity he felt grew and grew. It was as though he were being looked at for the very first time. He couldn’t keep looking at Crow, it was too much.

Owl looked away and closed his eyes again, but didn’t concentrate on the image of his wife, but rather just let his climax rise. His arms came up and tentatively wrapped around Senji’s shoulders, bringing his head close so that it rested on his shoulder just barely. He didn’t want to be that close with Senji, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt if he did it a little. If he were to think a moment and find the truth, the real reason was that his arms moved a bit on their own, and the intimacy that he had felt in Crow’s gaze had moved him to return some of the closeness he felt. All his anger had dissipated in that moment when their eyes locked and though he knew it may flare back up later, when he went to bed again, he couldn’t do anything now. Nagi’s breath became even more labored, as the warmth spreading through his body, shooting from his groin up to his chest and through his limbs, grew hotter and hotter until he didn’t think he could hold back. At this point, he couldn’t decipher what Senji was doing to his cock anymore and he didn’t care. All he could think about was the climax that he was pushed to the brink of, and then tossed over.

Fingers tightening over handfuls of Crow’s shirt, Nagi shuddered, whimpering and giving airy gasps as he came all over his hand. There was a moment where he could feel Senji’s cock next to his twitch and then more hot cum was poured out and mixed with his own in his hand. Nagi’s body was tight as he rode out his climax, limbs squeezing around the other man and pulling their bodies close. The feel of another body against his was enough to keep the waves of pleasure coming and as they slowly died off, his body unwound and he was relaxing against Crow, his body now fully wrapped around him. Owl twitched as some last few remaining shocks vibrated through him and he whimpered at each one. He could feel Crow’s body relaxing against his own, wavering a little as the aftermath of climax left them both in a weak and dreamy state. Their chests heaved against one another, moving at different rates and speeds as they tried to catch their breath from the bliss of releasing their pent up sexual frustrations. Very slowly, their eyes opened. First Senji’s eye then both of Nagi’s and they stared a moment then Nagi’s darted away.

Senji grinned and Owl caught it out of the corner of his eye. Glancing back with only his eyes, he watched as Senji chuckled, lifting up the hand that was covered in cum. “You’re so full of desire…”

Shivering a bit at the sultry tone that came to his ears, he shook his head. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Senji. Not with the way he was looking back at him. “No, you pushed me to that…”

Laughing, he ran his tongue through the white and creamy liquid in his palm, creating a long trail through it before bringing it back into his mouth and swallowing it. “It’s so deeply engraved in you, Owl, that I can taste it…”

Nagi’s eyes widened and he shoved Senji back, quickly putting his clothes back together and hurrying down the hallway towards his room. As he went he didn’t care if he ran into anyone, he just wanted to get away from the man that fondled and touched him. His legs were still weak, but he made it to his room and as he entered it, he glanced at the timer on the little object by the door. Breathing a sigh of relief, he shut it off and relocked the door. He tossed his toy on the floor and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and letting everything in his body settle. There was a sinking feeling he felt and it took him a moment to realize that it was the feeling of sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor, along with a heavy feeling he could feel coursing through him. I can’t…ever look at that man the same again… After a moment, he went to finger the scarf that used to be around his waist, but then he realized that it was gone. He froze and his mind worked slowly until he realized with sudden clarity that he had left it back in the laundry room with that man. His heart froze and ached painfully when this realization hit him and he groaned in aggravation. All he hoped for was that Senji was right, and that it wasn’t going to go anywhere.

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This story was written for a contest on LJ but I thought I'd put it up here ^^ More to come! Keep checking back!

oh and does anyone know of a way we can get a Deadman Wonderland tab for the anime archives? if so let me know!