The Punishment of Innocence

He was a bit surprised when he opened the door to find Suzaku waiting on the steps. His friend looked tired, drained, but he smiled easily enough when Lelouch asked him if everything was okay.

“Yeah, of course. Work’s just been a bit difficult lately.”

Lelouch nodded, understanding. Suzaku was the Knight of Seven, a title heavy with responsibility. “Then it’s good you came here; you’re just in time for a relaxing dinner with me.”

As Suzaku followed him inside, removing his coat, Lelouch continued. “Rolo’s out with some friends, I think...”

“Oh? And you don’t mind?” Suzaku’s voice was light, curious, and Lelouch paused for a moment.

“Well,” he said, settling Suzaku’s coat more firmly on the hanger and moving to place it in the closet, “I would have been a bit lonely all by myself tonight, it’s true, but since you’re here I don’t think I’ll complain.” He loved his little brother dearly, but it certainly hadn’t escaped his notice that he acted strangely whenever Suzaku came over, withdrawn and moody.

“And it’s good,” he added, leading Suzaku to the dining room, “That he’s making friends.”

Suzaku made a small hum of agreement. “So what’s for dinner?” he asked, making himself comfortable at the table.

“Lamb chops,” said Lelouch from the kitchen, carrying the dish in from the kitchen. Suzaku almost looked like he was going to stand up again, to help him, but Lelouch shook his head.

“So,” he said, carefully setting it on the table, “What have you been up to at work?”

Suzaku had been watching his hands as he removed the oven mitts. “Oh... this and that, you know.”

Lelouch raised his eyebrows, taking his seat and beginning to serve out the food. “Can’t you be a bit more detailed?”

Suzaku finally tore his gaze away, and looked up at him. “No, I’m afraid not,” he said, “Top secret and all that.” He said it pleasantly enough, but there was an edge to his voice that made Lelouch frown a little.

Instead of pressing for more explanation, he stood. “Wait here a moment, I forgot something,” he said. He emerged from the kitchen a few moments later carrying a large bottle of wine.

Suzaku stared. “... We’re underage.”

“You need to loosen up,” Lelouch told him. When he still hesitated, Lelouch sighed. “What, are you going to arrest me?”

Suzaku jerked at that, almost guiltily, then shook his head quickly. “No, no of course not. That’s... alright, just a little then.”

Lelouch smiled, pouring just a half-glass full for each of them before he went to put it back in the fridge. He returned, and raised his glass.

“To the finishing of a hard day’s work.”

Suzaku raised his as well, almost reluctantly it seemed, and they made a satisfying chink as they connected.

---

Later, they retreated to the living room and sat next to one another on the couch, speaking idly of nothing important. The wine had been nowhere near enough to inebriate him, but Lelouch felt strangely warm and tingly under Suzaku’s gaze.

There was a lull in the conversation, and as they sat there together, not saying anything, Lelouch suddenly found himself saying, “I’m glad you could come see me.”

Suzaku looked up at him in surprise, and he almost regretted having said it for a moment. It sounded ridiculously sentimental.

Then Suzaku’s face spread into a smile. “I’m glad, too,” he said, but there was that strange edge to his tone again. His mouth remained just a little open after he’d said it, and Lelouch found himself staring at it for a long moment, before he looked away and stood briskly.

“I should probably clean up before Rolo comes home,” he said.

“Aren’t you the good little housewife,” teased Suzaku, following him to the passage between the rooms. Lelouch turned around to make some witty retort, but in doing so he bumped right into his friend. He hadn’t realized he was so close behind him.

Suzaku’s arms came around to steady him. “Careful there,” Suzaku said, good-natured as usual, but his eyes looked anything but happy and carefree.

Lelouch frowned. “You’re telling me,” he said, reaching up a hand to brush his hand beneath Suzaku’s eyes. “They’re working you too hard in that place... eh?”

Suzaku’s hand had caught his wrist, lightning fast and tight enough to hurt. He tugged, surprised, and Suzaku’s grip relaxed a little.

“That’s why I come here. To relax,” he breathed, face very close to Lelouch’s. His eyes were very dark.

Lelouch swallowed. “Good,” he said, “That’s good, I’m glad I can - assist you.” Their faces were so close, he could feel Suzaku’s breath on his lips. He swallowed again and opened his mouth to say something else -

Suzaku bent closer and pressed their lips together.

Lelouch went still, eyes wide and shocked. Suzaku’s hands shifted, one slipping down to his waist and the other sliding up to the back of his head, cradling him. His lips were surprisingly soft.

It lasted only a moment, and then Suzaku drew back, just far enough that Lelouch could see into his eyes again. He couldn’t read the expression he saw there.

“Ah?” he said at last.

“The cleaning can wait,” Suzaku told him. “Rolo won’t be home for awhile yet.”

How would you know? Lelouch wanted to ask, but he didn’t say it. The warm tingle from earlier had settled in his stomach, and his face felt strangely hot. He found himself nodding.

Suzaku smiled that strange smile and kissed him again.

This time, Lelouch didn’t just stand there frozen like a statue - he shut his eyes and tried to concentrate on the feeling, hands raising to rest lightly on Suzaku’s hips. Suzaku’s fingers buried themselves in his hair and his other hand moved slowly down Lelouch’s back to touch his ass, caressing it.

Lelouch moved closer to Suzaku, surprised at the touch. His head tilted as Suzaku’s thumb rubbed behind his ear, and he jumped at a sudden wetness against his lips. Curious, he opened them, and Suzaku’s tongue slid inside, stroking at his own.

The house was empty, and silent but for the shifting of their clothes and the tiny sounds Lelouch made. He didn’t really know how to kiss, and though he might worry about showing such inexperience to someone else, with Suzaku he didn’t mind. There was no teasing from Suzaku, only endless patience and warm eagerness as they explored each other’s mouths.

The warmth in his stomach travelled downwards, making him shift awkwardly in Suzaku’s grip. In reply, Suzaku pulled him only closer, until they were flush against one another and he could feel the outline of Suzaku’s body through the school clothing. Suzaku’s hand rubbed slowly over his ass, moving down its curve to press at the point between his legs.

It was a little uncomfortable, and he pulled back out of the kiss. “That feels,” he began, and then as Suzaku only nuzzled at his neck and kissed down his throat to his collarbone - “ah...”

Maybe he understood, anyway. Suzaku’s hands drew away and then returned, this time on his torso, undoing his jacket. He had to move back to do that, and Lelouch helped him get it off, wanting that close heat to return.

But when Suzaku returned to kissing him, this time Lelouch clad only in his thin white school shirt, he didn’t press up close against him again. Instead, his hands travelled over Lelouch’s body, touching his hands and his wrists and his arms, running over his back, creeping up his sides, smoothing down his chest, eliciting shivers and sighs as he did so, until they settled on Lelouch’s crotch.

Lelouch went very, very still, trying to calm his breathing. Suzaku wasn’t kissing him anymore - instead, his lips nibbled at his ear. The sensation would have been pleasantly interesting all on its own if Lelouch hadn’t been currently distracted by the feeling of his best friend cradling his most private area in callused but gentle hands.

There was a soft “heh,” sound in his ear. “You’re hard,” said Suzaku, his voice smiling.

Lelouch blushed. “W-well,” he stuttered as Suzaku shifted his hand, palming him in slow strokes through the cloth. “It’s only to be - expected.” And he’d only been half hard before Suzaku began to touch him there, anyway. It felt... very strange. He’d touched himself before, of course, but it had never felt quite so intimate and exciting as this.

It was... disconcerting. Pleasurable, certainly, but also frighteningly intoxicating. Kissing was all well and good, but he wasn’t particularly sure he wanted to do anything beyond that, right now. This... touching made him...

His hips lifted of their own accord, grinding against Suzaku’s hand as it moved. He allowed it - once, twice, but on the third thrust he stopped himself, with effort, and put his hand over Suzaku’s.

“Suzaku,” he said, looking up at him. “I think we should - hey - ”

Suzaku’s hand was moving again, slipping out from under his own, but instead of drawing back it fumbled with the fly of Lelouch’s pants, forcing it open and tugging them down.

Lelouch gasped. “Wait,” he said, and then more urgently, “Oi, Suzaku, I said wait a moment - ”

He grabbed at Suzaku’s hands, trying to push them away as they tugged at his underwear. At last they stopped moving, and Lelouch, relieved, continued. “This is too much. I’m...” Not prepared? Afraid? “I don’t want to do this right now,” he finished lamely.

Suzaku was silent. He’d moved away again, his head bent before Lelouch’s so that his expression was hidden. Lelouch stroked the backs of his hands. He hoped he hadn’t upset Suzaku with his desperation, but he had really scared him for a moment. “Suzaku? We can just...”

Suzaku raised his face. It was completely expressionless, and the eyes were dark and hooded. Lelouch stared at him, wondering what was wrong, what had happened to make his friend look so...

Suzaku grabbed Lelouch’s underwear and pulled it down harshly. Lelouch let out a little cry as his erection was freed, and then covered suddenly with Suzaku’s palm.

“Hey, didn’t you hear me - ?” He was turned around roughly, Suzaku’s hand pumping his dick fast and hard, the other wrapped around his waist to prevent him from moving.

Lelouch squirmed as his hips shuddered and thrust helplessly. He couldn’t, for all his intellect, understand what was happening. Hadn’t he told him to stop, to wait? Why wasn’t he listening?

“Suzaku - ” he said desperately, and then a little cry as a finger rubbed at the tip of his erection, gathering up the glistening liquid that was coming from it. Then it drifted down and rubbed at that same place between his legs.

“Ah - don’t - !” The finger pressed in, helped by the precum it had gathered, and he jerked. It didn’t hurt so much as it just felt strange, an unpleasant intrusion. He struggled in Suzaku’s hold, trying to free himself, panting. “Stop...” he managed, and the finger was removed.

But the arm around his waist stayed, and there was the sound of shifting clothing behind him. The hope that Suzaku had finally heeded him died as he realized what that meant.

Suzaku’s hands strayed down, pulling Lelouch’s legs apart and positioning himself. Lelouch strained against them uselessly.

He let out a choked sound as Suzaku pressed in. The world narrowed down to this, the quiet dark of the hallway, Suzaku’s body deceptively warm around and - inside him, a tearing, burning pain, his own panting breath and the small, feeble movements of his struggles.

“It hurts,” he whispered. “Suzaku, it hurts. Stop it. It hurts.”

Suzaku drew out, and then in again, and Lelouch cried out in pain. Suzaku’s hands drew around his front, one holding his waist steady, the other going around his penis again, stroking it back into full hardness.

“Ssh,” rasped his voice near Lelouch’s ear, breath hot and wet. “Quiet. It’s okay.”

His thrusts were slow at first, but they still drew tiny whimpers from Lelouch’s throat. “No - pull it out.” Even these slight movements hurt so much, and they were getting steadily faster and deeper.

“Quiet, quiet.” Suzaku’s voice in his ear, a hand wrapped around his cock and teasing at his balls, and Lelouch let out a sound that was close to a moan as their position shifted slightly and he felt a sudden spark of pleasure within him.

He wouldn’t - why wouldn’t he listen? It hurt so much, but there was that spiral of pleasure - his whole body was trembling with the combined, conflicting sensations, his hips unconsciously moving forward and back.

Suzaku’s breathing grew harsher, his hand pumping faster, and Lelouch cried out again, hips jerking forward as he came suddenly.

There was a time after that, Lelouch wasn’t sure for how long, in which all he was aware of was the panting of Suzaku’s breath and the dull ache in his lower body as Suzaku worked himself to completion. And when it was done, Suzaku sighed and slumped against him, and they both half fell, half slid to the floor.

A few moments of ragged breathing, and then Lelouch was trying to crawl away to look for his pants. But he found that he couldn’t manage anything more than just - pulling himself away from Suzaku. His legs were shaking - his whole body was shaking - and his - his hole hurt. He was covered in his own come, and there was a sticky, warm trickle between his legs that he didn’t want to think about. He didn’t want to think about anything. He leaned his head against the wall and shut his eyes, willing himself into oblivion.