Guilt Complex

It was strange to think that Milly wouldn’t be coming back anymore. No more wild cat chases, no more cross-dressing festivals, no more gigantic pizzas. No more ridiculous games like that Cupid Day thing.

“Ne, Lulu...”

He turned around quickly, nearly upsetting the papers he’d just set on the table. It was Shirley of course, looking unusually timid.

“I... I was just wondering...” she began, and then all in a rush – “Well, you’re my... my boyfriend now, right?” She turned bright red as she said it, but continued looking at him determinedly.

“Well... yes, I guess,” he said, blushing a little himself. “President’s orders and all that.”

“Then... then can we go out together?”

He blinked at her, and then chuckled. “Shirley, I think you’re doing it backwards. We’re already an official couple, we don’t have to worry about asking one another out.”

“Ah... no, but Lulu, I’ve been wanting to ask you for ages!” she said, looking quite put out. He felt a twinge of guilt. There was nothing to gain from teasing her.

“Okay then,” he said, walking closer to her. “I’ll go out with you, how’s that?” And he smiled at her.

She looked away, cheeks very red. “Well... okay.” she said. A moment. She glanced at him quickly. “Lulu, now that we’re... b-boyfriend and girlfriend, should we...?”

He leaned down — her voice had grown quiet. “Should we what?”

“Kiss,” she whispered, looking anywhere but at him.

He drew back a little, conflicted suddenly. They had kissed before, but he was well aware that their memories of having done so were quite different. She remembered him surprising her with a kiss in the library, and he... he remembered her, crying and shivering in the rain...

“Lulu?” She was looking at him quite anxiously, suddenly worried that she’d done something wrong, been too forward. “We don’t have to, I just – ”

He cut her off by suddenly grabbing her waist. She let out a little “oh!” of surprise, but didn’t resist, and when he jerked his head forward just as suddenly she raised her own so that their lips met.

He didn’t have much experience in kissing, but she didn’t seem to mind. Her eyes were shut, so he shut his as well, and opened his mouth instead, hesitant, curious.

It was different from before. Then, all he had really been able to notice was how cold and wet it all was, and that she was crying, almost sobbing in his arms. Now, however, he noticed everything about her. The texture of her lips and tongue as they explored each other’s mouths. The faint smell of perfume around her, the warmth of her body against his, and the way her clothing shifted beneath his hands on her waist.

He moved, changing his position to hold her less awkwardly, and she made a tiny noise. Surprised, he pulled back a little, and she blinked up at him, eyes shining.

“Oh...” she whispered. She was panting a little, and blushing, and she looked gloriously happy.

“Why did Zero kill my father?”

He pushed aside the papers on the table, letting them fall to the floor as he helped her sit up on it, trying to ignore the memory. When she had settled herself properly on the table, she looked at him expectantly, hopefully.

“Lulu...?”

He smiled. “Don’t worry,” he said, drawing in close again to kiss her forehead. He could feel her skin heating up into a blush, and he stroked her cheek with one hand.

She turned her face upward, asking for another kiss, and he obliged, his hand drifting down to her collarbone as the other settled on her waist. She wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled him closer, spreading her legs so that he was standing between them.

It was quiet in the room, aside from the rustling of their clothing and the small gasps and sounds from their kissing. He could feel his heartbeat speeding up, and the way she shivered against him. Almost without realizing it, his hand crept up her torso beneath her shirt and caressed at her breast. She went still, eyes widening in shock as she broke the kiss.

He started to pull the hand away, guilty and embarrassed, but before he could do so she reached behind to undo her bra. He blinked.

“Lulu... it’s okay,” she said, and smiled at him. And then he was helping her to pull both the shirt and the bra away, kissing at her neck and fondling both breasts openly, hardly caring that they might be walked in on at any moment.

It didn’t matter. This was worth the potential embarrassment — the slight sighing sounds she made as he rubbed his thumb over one nipple and licked curiously at the other, the happily flushed and pleasured expression on her face as he began to reach beneath her skirt and pulled at her panties.

“Ah — ah, Lulu,” she whispered as he dipped his fingers into her panties, only a little nervous. He wasn’t quite sure what to do, but he was beginning to guess what was right from the way she sighed and moaned.

She looked utterly happy as he touched her there. Her hips moved and her face twisted, but in pleasure, not torment...

It was that, the memory of Shirley’s face as she pointed a gun at him in desperation, that prompted him to pull her panties down fully and replace his fingers with his tongue.

She gasped and let out a high-pitched sort of whine. He held her thighs as firmly as he could, licking and suckling at her clit as best he could, tongue slipping against her wetness. He shut his eyes, concentrating on giving her everything he could. It was all he could do, to make up for all the suffering he’d made her unwittingly bear.

Her hips shuddered and trembled, legs tightening over his shoulders, and then all of a sudden — “Nn — Lulu, I can’t...”

She bucked once, twice, violently, and then went still, trembling.

He pulled away, struggling to catch his breath, and pulled her panties back up. He wiped his mouth self-consciously, and looked down at her, wondering if he’d gone too far...

She smiled up at him tiredly, looking utterly content.

“Lulu... that was...” she whispered, and shut her eyes. “Thank you, Lulu. That was wonderful.”