The Hand of Time

See my wordpress account for my grave apologies for this fic =) It's just.... Raito + CAT EARS

Prologue


It was a nervous habit. He had grown out of it early on, most did, but occasionally Raito still felt the need to rub his ears against the furniture. It wasn't the same as a nice soft couch or the scratchy wool of his father's jacket, but the cold wall next to his cot still provided a little bit of resistance and a very small measure of comfort. He flicked the tip of his tail against the wall too, just to feel that there was really something against his back besides his own cuffed wrists.

"L…" Raito sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest. "Will you talk to me for a little while?"
"Only if you'd like to admit to being Kira."

Perfection…it would only make sense that he would be like Raito, that he would be unrelenting, but that was no comfort when Raito was cold and lonely. There was no comfort in the fact that his half, his other soul, was convinced that Raito was a murderer, a sociopath and a killer.

Raito sniffled a little, his cheeks going hot, and there was triumph in L's voice when he asked, "How did you kill them, Yagami-kun?"

"I didn't kill anyone." Raito pressed his face into the thin mattress of his cot. And because L so desperately wanted the truth Raito gave him the truth, not caring who might be watching. His Sacrifice and their neatly cut bond was more important than his pride.

"…I finally found you." Raito whispered, closing his eyes. "And it's like we've never even met."

Raito sighed and let his body go limp. He knew that it was psychological and he had known after only a few days of silence that this would finally overcome him, but that didn't make the tears any harder to well and then drop, well and then drop, until his cheeks were freezing from the combination of the frigid air system. There was no sobbing, just the steady progression until Raito choked out another truth.

"It only proves that you're Perfection, L." Raito curled in even tighter as the temperature dropped another few degrees. It was a tangible proof of his master's displeasure and there was a little comfort in the fact that he even bothered to acknowledge Raito's line of thought. "If I was Kira I would have told you by now. I would never lie to you, L."

There was a long silence and another dropped degree before L's voice intoned, "I do not believe you, Yagami-kun. If you are what you say you are," and oh, the disdain was terrible, "you would lie to me if you believed the truth to be more detrimental to my state of being. What you fight to protect is not the person, but the ideal."

L was saying nothing but the truth, and it was a truth that Raito was not blind to seeing. Raito had never been blind to himself and what his other half might be if they lived in a mirror world. Inside Raito there was the potential to be L; to be relentless, to be unforgiving, to be cruel in order to achieve his own goals. No matter how innocent his actions Raito was at heart a manipulator, an exquisite fraud, and that would never change. L was right. The truth was oftentimes very inconvenient to Raito's desires and he felt that there was no reason that he should let such a small thing get into his way when it was so easy to create his own route past the trivial with a few lies.

"You're right." Raito smiled the sweetest way he knew how. "I'm a rotten little liar."

"A perfect liar." L pressed on, "A perfect student, a perfect son, and a perfect little killer."
Raito could see his breath in the air, a little white puff.

"Tell me, does your father know that you're Kira?" L watched Raito curl into himself tightly. His ears were pressed down against the curve of his head, his tail between his legs, and Raito had long stopped crying. It was too cold. L was too cold for it to even matter anymore.

Why bother to cry? Why bother when he had been warned, trained and prepared for such an eventuality?
But those days seemed long so long ago while Raito was shivering under the truth.

"You're a cruel master." Raito sighed deeply. "L…order me, so that I know how to please you."

Raito trembled and waited, finally ducking his face away in a fruitless hope to banish the cold.

He knew he was right when L hummed in interest and said, "Get on the floor and kneel…Kira."

Raito's entire body screamed at him to say no, to keep himself safe, but Raito's training said otherwise and even though his body ached Raito got down on the concrete floor and did as he was told, his shoulders angled down and his neck arched to expose his face to the camera. He wanted to let L know that his Fighter obeyed orders, but that was far from being submissive.

If L wanted Raito to enjoy his punishment he was going to have to earn it, Sacrifice or no.

Raito stared up at the camera, finally looked inside himself and pulled hard on his training, his honed instincts and the strength from an otherworldly spirit that would do anything to merge with his lost half. Even if it hurt.