A Betrayal of Good Intention

Title: A Betrayal of Good Intention
Author: ladygizarme
Words: 3400-ish
Pairing: 5927 (side-8027)
Warning: m/m sex, infidelity, slight angst
A/N: Written for a prompt on lj’s khrkinkmeme: http://community.livejournal.com/khrkinkmeme/552.html?thread=335400#t335400

A Betrayal of Good Intention


Juudaime was smiling.

Usually that smile was enough to make Gokudera’s heart race and his palms sweat and proud declarations about what a good man Juudaime is spout from his lips in order to keep himself from making other, more personal proclamations. But right now…that smile was making Gokudera’s guts twist.

Because Juudaime had been blushing, embarrassedly admitting he still didn’t understand the homework Gokudera had been explaining, and before Gokudera could say, “That’s okay, Juudaime! I’ll explain it again!” that damn baseball idiot had chuckled, telling Tsuna he didn’t get it either. And then he’d pressed his lips to Juudaime’s cheek, causing him to blush more. And Juudaime was smiling.

Gokudera felt sick.

“Of course you don’t get it, you baseball freak!” Gokudera exclaimed before he could stop himself. He almost continued, accusations ready on his tongue about how Yamamoto was only using these studying sessions as an excuse to kiss Tsuna every chance he got, but he clenched his fists and stood up instead, storming from the room and out of the house.

Tsuna was still staring out his open door, wide eyed, when his mother came to his room to ask if Gokudera-kun wasn’t staying for dinner, after all. In a confused daze, Tsuna shook his head, and Nana shrugged, double-checking that Yamamoto was still staying. When she left the room again, Yamamoto smiled at him, and suggested that now that they were alone, he could kiss Tsuna properly. And Tsuna blushed again as Yamamoto leaned closer.

xXx

After dinner, Yamamoto thanked Nana for dinner, smiled as he patted the top of Reborn’s hat, and kissed Tsuna’s cheek as he went out the door. Tsuna was left staring after him into the darkness, his mind not entirely on watching his boyfriend’s profile as he walked down the street. Instead, he began to frown, his thoughts returning to earlier, and Gokudera’s strange behavior.

Did it bother Gokudera, he wondered? He hadn’t meant for his relationship with Yamamoto to make Gokudera uncomfortable, it’s just that they spent all day at school unable to do “boyfriend” type things, and Yamamoto had this way of not giving Tsuna a chance to protest once they were in a more private setting—and, after all, Tsuna hardly ever had complete privacy since Reborn had come into his life. Still, Gokudera was his friend—as weird and over-the-top as he could be, Tsuna still valued his friendship—and he didn’t want things to be awkward between them. Maybe Gokudera was feeling left out, now that Tsuna and Yamamoto were a couple? Like he was intruding?

Well, Tsuna decided, he had to make sure Gokudera knew he was still welcome! And he should probably make sure to spend time hanging out alone with Gokudera, so he didn’t always feel like a third wheel.

Frowning and feeling nervous as all these thoughts jumbled in his head at once, Tsuna went upstairs, threw some clothes in his backpack (along with his textbooks, because even if he and Yamamoto hadn’t spent the better part of the afternoon making out, he still wouldn’t have gotten that homework figured out), pulled his shoes on, and called to his mom that he was going to Gokudera’s.

Watching his student run out the door, Reborn shook his head. Dame-Tsuna was still too oblivious.

xXx

Gokudera’s expression was highly disgruntled, and his cigarette fell from his lips in shock when he opened the door to find Tsuna, who quickly stepped back with a cry of alarm to avoid the lit cigarette falling towards his feet.

“Juudaime?!” Gokudera exclaimed, still standing there in the doorway after picking up his cigarette, staring at Tsuna like he was an U.M.A. come from some mysterious planet.

The longer they stood there, the more Tsuna started to wonder if this was a good idea; maybe he was wrong; maybe Gokudera wasn’t upset, he was just in a weird mood. But no, Tsuna was determined to make sure. So, finally, he opened his mouth to speak.

“Uh.. Gokudera-kun, can I come in?”

Gokudera jumped to the side, startled into action, closing the door after Tsuna and hurrying to stub his smoldering cigarette in the ashtray and clean up the clutter on his living room table while the brunet kicked off his shoes.

“What are you doing here, Juudaime?” he asked, green eyes widening in alarm as he realized how the question may sound, and he dropped what he’d picked up as he hurried to correct the mistake. “I-I mean, not that you’re not welcome! Juudaime, you’re always welcome to come over whenever you like!”

Tsuna’s smile was part grimace, Gokudera’s intensity always making him feel a little awkward, but he stepped into the room proper and took a seat on the couch when Gokudera offered, his backpack on the floor by his feet.

They sat in silence for several moments, Tsuna unsure how to say what he came to say and Gokudera unsure why Tsuna was here. Just as Tsuna thought he might be able to spit it out, Gokudera jumped to his feet again.

“Would you like a drink, Juudaime?” he asked.

“N-no..thank you, Gokudera-kun,” Tsuna replied, shaking his head slightly.

Gokudera looked a little disheartened, but sat back down, and before his earnest green eyes could turn to him again, Tsuna finally decided to just say it.

“Does me being with Takeshi bother you?” he asked in a nervous rush, not looking directly at Gokudera but still not missing the slight flinch when he said Yamamoto’s name.

Gokudera’s voice was slow and subdued as he answered, “No, of course not, Juudaime. Why would it?”

“Ah,” Tsuna intoned, looking at his lap where his fingers fiddled together unconsciously, thoughts cluttered with all the evidence of Gokudera’s recent behavior. “It’s just that… you’ve been acting..differently, lately. And then today, you left so suddenly…” Tsuna shrugged, “I just thought we might be making you uncomfortable.”

Finally Tsuna looked up, only to have his heart skip a beat when he was faced with Gokudera’s intense stare for the millisecond before the silver haired boy looked away, blushing slightly at having been caught staring. Gokudera ran a hand through the back of his hair and stood, walking towards the kitchen.

“It’s fine,” he spoke from the other room. “Juudaime should be able to be with whoever he wants.”

To Tsuna, it almost sounded like Gokudera was speaking to himself rather than him. When Gokudera came back, he had a bottle of soda for both of them. Even though Tsuna had refused when Gokudera had asked before, he took the proffered drink and gulped down a generous amount, his mouth and throat suddenly inexplicably dry.

“Did you still want help with your homework, Juudaime?” Gokudera asked after another moment of silence, having noticed Tsuna’s bag on the floor.

“A-ah!” Tsuna ducked his head, surprised at the sudden question breaking their silence, and grabbed his bag for lack of anything else to distract him from his continued worries. “Yeah… would you mind? I’ll never figure it out on my own,” he admitted, blushing that familiar blush from earlier.

Gokudera averted his eyes, even as he gave a semblance of his usual earnest grin, “Not at all, Juudaime! It’s my pleasure.”

So saying, the two of them knelt on the floor by the table. As Tsuna pulled his books and notebook from his bag, some of his clothes were dragged out, too.

“Hiiie!” Tsuna exclaimed, quickly stuffing them back inside, face burning as he worried internally that Gokudera had just seen his boxers (a ridiculous worry, really, when taking into account the fact Gokudera had seen him in nothing but his boxers under the influence of the normal Dying Will bullets on numerous occasions when they’d first met). With skittish eyes and an embarrassed smile, Tsuna looked up at Gokudera and explained, “Um… I thought I might spend the night, since maybe you were feeling left out, and that way we could hang out together just the two of us, because we haven’t in awhile… but since you said you don’t feel that way, I guess I—”

“No, it’s okay, I’d love for Juudaime to spend the night!” Gokudera interrupted, and his voice was so eager and happy that Tsuna couldn’t refuse, even if he had a strange feeling that maybe it wasn’t the best idea anymore. “Will you, please?” Gokudera added, a little softer, and all Tsuna could do was nod.

xXx

Hours later—after Tsuna couldn’t possibly concentrate on homework anymore and they’d moved on to video games and then snacks and TV—Tsuna found himself practically snuggled into the couch, in the dark, next to Gokudera as they watched a movie. At first, Tsuna’s attention was completely on the screen. Gradually, though, he became increasingly aware of the small space between him and Gokudera, and how the heat of Gokudera’s body seemed to radiate invitingly towards him as the other boy shifted, leaning a little closer. Tsuna shivered slightly as another feeling came over him aside from the warmth; he sort of felt like he was being watched. After a few minutes of trying to ignore the feeling, which, contrarily, only made him notice it more and completely lose track of what was happening in the movie, Tsuna couldn’t resist the urge to look anymore.

His heart skipped as he caught Gokudera staring again, but this time Gokudera didn’t look away. In fact, his gaze seemed to get a little deeper, and Tsuna noticed how his silver hair looked sort of blue in the light of the TV, and Gokudera’s eyes gleamed in a strange way as they caught that same light. There was some usually-suppressed emotion baring itself in Gokudera’s expression, and Tsuna’s eyes widened as he tried to discern why Gokudera looked so… wounded and heartbroken and vulnerable.

Tsuna swallowed harshly, and Gokudera leaned closer still, closing in the small space between them.

“G-Gokudera-kun,” Tsuna stuttered, voice barely a whisper.

At the same time, Gokudera uttered an almost broken-sounding plea, “Juudaime.”

And Gokudera’s eyes were so sad, watching him so intently, and Tsuna licked his dry lips, noticing the way Gokudera’s eyes followed the action in almost trance-like fashion. And, as if he’d fallen under the same trance, Tsuna found himself leaning forward, and closing the last little distance.

Gokudera’s breath caught as Tsuna’s lips pressed to his, his fingers digging into the cushions to fight the urge to dig his fingers into Tsuna’s hair and deepen the kiss. Tsuna pulled away, eyes wide at the spark he’d felt from the simple touch of Gokudera’s lips, a particular kind of fear curling in his chest when he realized he wanted to feel it again. Before that fear could take complete control, though, Gokudera’s hands were on him, pulling him close again. Their lips met and Tsuna’s lips parted of their own volition—an invitation Gokudera could not refuse.

A whimper of yearning was muffled by their mouths, and Tsuna couldn’t tell which one of them had made it. Gokudera’s tongue was warm and wet and tasted of cigarettes, and Tsuna wanted it. A surge of desire sent Tsuna’s body forward, and soon he found himself lying atop Gokudera, his body growing hotter the deeper their kiss became, Gokudera’s fingers digging into his clothes and hair almost desperately as a hardness already making itself known pressed against Tsuna. His own erection awakening, Tsuna ground down against it, making them both groan.

“Nnn..Gokudera-kun,” Tsuna moaned breathily, breaking their kiss to pant against Gokudera’s mouth, eyes searching frantically for an answer to an unknown question.

Gokudera’s hands dragged up the back of Tsuna’s body, threading into his hair as he cupped Tsuna’s face. So many questions with so many answers were left unspoken between them; the only one that really mattered right now was the way Gokudera watched him so intently—almost worshipfully, something in the far reaches of Tsuna’s mind supplied—as he leaned up to kiss Tsuna again.

Tsuna’s hands fisted on either side of Gokudera’s unbuttoned shirt, and he shivered slightly as Gokudera’s fingers urgently slid up the back of his t-shirt. Tsuna’s head felt like it was swimming—like he couldn’t take in enough air—and he again broke away from their kiss to pull in deep breaths. Taking advantage of the moment, Gokudera grasped the hem of Tsuna’s shirt, and Tsuna again found himself shivering as his shirt was pulled off, exposing his upper body to the open air. That shiver soon evolved into one of pleasure when Gokudera’s fingers began teasing over his skin, every touch sending a spark along his body that only made him crave more.

“Juudaime,” Gokudera uttered reverently, like he couldn’t believe this was real, and that sound sparked something else in Tsuna—something buried beneath that fear in his chest.

Suddenly his hands were moving, possessed by a desperate, instinctual need to feel and connect and assure. Tsuna hardly remembered how he got to the point where they were both naked and panting, staring at each other hungrily, but now he was contemplating the next step—because he’d never gone past this point yet, and he knew in theory what came next, but he’d never been good at applying theory to action in the first place, and this was big.

Gokudera was kind of big, also, and that was a little daunting. More than daunting, if Tsuna was honest, but the lustful ache driving his body left little room for thought or worry, and that urge was, ultimately, what made Tsuna lick his lips and lean down to take Gokudera in his mouth.

“A-ah!” Gokudera exclaimed, muscles tensing and fingers digging into the couch again as he fought the instinct to thrust into Tsuna’s warm, wet mouth.

Tsuna looked up at Gokudera, worried that he’d done something wrong, but instead found a look of amazed bliss on the Storm Guardian’s face. Green eyes drank in the sight of Tsuna’s lips sliding down his length, and blood rushed even faster south, making him grow slightly in Tsuna’s mouth as his tongue dragged along the underside of Gokudera’s cock. Feeling him swell against his tongue, a moan made its way up Tsuna’s throat, both excited and anxious at the answering flutter of his insides.

Gokudera moaned again as Tsuna’s noise seemed to vibrate through him, but his moan soon changed to a gasp as Tsuna’s mouth suddenly left him, the slighter boy moving up to straddle him instead.

Gokudera’s hands seemed to mold to Tsuna’s thighs and ass, and a wanton noise escaped him as he tried to speak. “J-Juudaime, I—are you—”

Instinctively, Tsuna covered Gokudera’s mouth with his, not allowing himself the chance to second-guess. And as his lips parted for Gokudera’s tongue, Tsuna’s fingernails pressed into Gokudera’s skin as he pushed himself swiftly down onto the Storm Guardian’s cock. His breath left his lungs in a painful whoosh, forcing their mouths apart as the sudden intrusion sent him into a kind of shock, his whole body feeling as if it were on fire. The instinct to pull away was almost overpowering, making his body shake, but at the same time an ache was building, urging him to move. Sliding up a little, Tsuna dropped his hips down again, and no matter the repeat of the excruciating feeling, the sound Gokudera made when he did made Tsuna want to do it again.

The more Tsuna forced himself to move, the easier it seemed to get, until soon he’d built up a rhythm and realized with a sudden gasp—his angle changing slightly when Gokudera leaned up and held him tightly, kissing him again—that, oh, gods, that felt good.

Tsuna’s moan was practically a whine as he urgently sought Gokudera’s tongue, quickening his pace on Gokudera’s cock as a desperation built in him, and Gokudera’s hips met his thrust for thrust. Their kisses became more frantic and soon it was little more than nipping and sucking of skin, Gokudera’s mouth moving everywhere it could reach, Tsuna’s cries of pleasure bouncing off the ceiling as he bounced on Gokudera.

“Ohh, yes, Juudaime, ride me, please,” Gokudera panted raspily in Tsuna’s ear, voiced strained with need and impending climax.

He laid back again, hands gripping Tsuna’s thighs, heels digging into the couch, eyes intent on watching as Tsuna rode him faster and faster.

“G-Gokudera!” Tsuna cried when a hand wrapped itself around his neglected cock and began stroking furiously. Sweat broke out along his skin and his body slumped forward slightly as Tsuna tried to keep his feverish pace in the face of approaching orgasm.

“I’m—I’m..!”

Before Tsuna could get the words out, he was coming. Gokudera’s body tensed, breath catching again as Tsuna’s body tightened around him so quickly he could hardly thrust through it—and he came, too, exalting Juudaime’s title to the gods.

Gokudera’s fingers caressed down Tsuna’s dampened skin as they lay there afterwards, catching their breath, and his lips sought out Tsuna’s while his fingers skated upwards again. Tsuna shivered against him, and Gokudera broke the kiss again to whisper in alarm.

“Are you cold, Juudaime? I can get you a blanket!”

Tsuna’s eyes wouldn’t meet his, and his cheeks seemed to grow dark as he stared at Gokudera’s chest and murmured, “Gokudera-kun..after what we’ve just done..could you please..just call me ‘Tsuna’?”

Gokudera wanted to agree, but all he could do was stare as Tsuna’s eyes slowly dragged back up to his. Gokudera’s heart felt like it was being squeezed and his stomach felt queasy at the shame he glimpsed in Tsuna’s eyes in that moment. And for the first time since this whole thing with Tsuna and Yamamoto and Gokudera’s unrequited love had started, Gokudera actually felt like he could cry. But he wouldn’t—not in front of Juudaime. So he swallowed hard, his fingers trembling slightly as they once more traveled down Tsuna’s bare body and slowly pulled the other boy off of him.

Alarm rose in Tsuna’s expression then, and Gokudera braced himself for whatever personal condemnation might follow, but instead, Tsuna simply ran stumblingly to the bathroom.

When he returned, Gokudera was dressed again, sitting on the edge of the couch. Tsuna’s clothes were folded, lying on the other end of the couch. With a blush spreading quickly from his face and down his neck, Tsuna grabbed his clothes and returned to the bathroom to dress. Coming back to the living room, he found the lights still off, though the TV was no longer playing the movie; it was simply the blue screen, indicating Gokudera had stopped the DVD but nothing more.

Gokudera stared at the TV, taking a deep drag of his cigarette and biting the edge of his thumbnail, refusing to let himself give Tsuna the look of desperate longing he knew would be there if his eyes strayed from the blue screen. He closed his eyes as Tsuna sat as gently as he could on the other end of the couch.

“I’m sorry,” Tsuna said, voice soft and full of sorrow. “I—”

Tsuna’s voice stopped abruptly, like it had simply quit on him, and unable to resist the urge anymore, Gokudera turned his eyes to him.

Tsuna looked teary-eyed and morose, gritting his teeth as the full-force of Gokudera’s misery hit him, and, voice cracking, he whispered, “I don’t know what to do now.”

Gokudera bit the inside of his cheek, turning his eyes back towards the TV to quell the need to take Tsuna into his arms and comfort him, begging him to stay.

“It’s fine if you go,” Gokudera offered, voice gruff from suppressing his true desire. “I won’t be angry…Juudaime.”

Grief lanced through Tsuna at those words and a few tears he’d been fighting fell as he insisted, “That’s not what I mean! Gokudera-kun…”

Again, Gokudera’s eyes betrayed him, and what he saw when he looked shocked him—Tsuna’s teary face, looking pleading and desperate as he reached for Gokudera’s shoulders and kissed him firmly.

“I mean…” he whispered against Gokudera’s lips, “What do I do now?”

Gokudera blinked in realization, the words taking on a completely different meaning than he’d first thought, and he dropped his cigarette to the ashtray as he took Tsuna into his arms.

“Stay with me,” he answered earnestly.

And, fingers clenching in the back of Gokudera’s shirt, heart pounding against his chest, Tsuna did.

xXx
End