Twas the Night Before Christmas in Ikebukuro

‘Twas the night before Christmas and unlike most places,
Ikebukuro was bustling with familiar faces.
The sounds of the city were intermingled with glee,
And all around signs of holiday were all one could see.

For some more than others, Christmas came with a smile;
A reminder humanity took once and a while
To forget about hard times and pretend just a bit.
Which was something Izaya had deemed as, “Bull Shit.”

What made Christmas so special, made them all try so hard,
To be carefree when clearly the draw of one card,
Could make this day, just like any other before:
A stain on the pavement, nothing less, nothing more?

“Such silly creatures, these humans,” He said with a smirk.
“And this Christmas. How long do they expect that to work?”
But it was amusing to think about, more amusing to see,
Most amusing to take part in! He decided finally.

So with a nod to his genius, he put into play
What he was certain would be a great end to the day.
He’d need Celty of course, perhaps Kida as well.
“Why not the whole lot of them?” He laughed. “What the hell?”

So it was here that the city found its Christmas Eve start
With the headless deliverer doing her part
To insure that the presents got to each on the list.
Who am I, Santa? Celty tried not to be pissed.

It was Shizuo first, and not surprising at all
She found him flinging a vending machine through a brick wall.
His opponents long gone but his rage still concrete,
She left the gift at his shoes and sped away down the street.

Next was the trio, of which she’d grown fond;
She hoped silently that they at least wouldn’t be conned.
But whatever Izaya was having her send
Seemed unlikely to not have a dangerous end.

Still, she searched them out carefully among the crowd,
The neigh of her bike surprising and loud.
When she found them together as she knew they would be,
She typed out sternly, “Be careful,” phone aimed at the three.

“What is it?” Mikado asked, eyeing the box
As though it might attack like a riled up fox.
Celty shrugged, Anri pocketed it, Kida tossed it aside.
“Are you sure?” Celty typed, stopping Kida mid stride.

The boy faced her and bowed, smile hard to believe.
“It’s probably cancer,” he scoffed as they all took their leave.
Celty sighed best she could, helmet swirling with smoke.
Whatever this was, she hoped it wasn’t that sick a joke.

By the end of the night, all deliveries made,
Celty parked on a roof top to watch what she’d bade.
But nothing happened, no explosions, no screams pierced the night,
And while the silence did bother, it too eased her fright.

Then what did he give? She thought, looking out on the world.
What twisted scheme of his will soon be unfurled?
Izaya was giddy as he aimed for just that,
Waiting and watching as he patiently sat.

His eyes on the city, he saw the gifts in their hands,
The range of emotions like his personal dance.
Each gift hand-picked special from Simon’s bottle of Stoli
To Erika and Walker’s new copy of Oofuri.

He saw Shizuo staring quizzically at a bottle of milk
With a bow ‘round the neck made of red and green silk.
And just like that, an instant Izaya would endlessly treasure
The strongest man in Bukuro seemed weaker than ever.

A beautiful sight, but not nearly as much
As the vision of three friends, a devious touch.
For in one box, Mikado’s, Izaya had hidden
A gift for each friend of humanity unbidden.

First a note to Kida with words that did tell,
“It’s rude to throw away presents. Good thing I know you so well,
Or your gift from Saki would have been tossed.”
With the note was a picture of the two he thought he’d lost.

It was touching to see him so dazed and confused,
But not as much as it was to see Mikado so used
By the necklace, a sword charm, and a note that said,
“Give it to her. She’s aware of your feelings, Dollars kid.”

Which was perfect considering in Anri's box with a bow
Was just a note card scribbled bluntly with, “He loves you, you know.”
So with that in the air and the boy’s shaky hand
Something special was exchanged between woman and man.

All over the city, his presents brought out
What was hidden inside, what was sheltered in doubt,
And he prided himself, the informant he was,
In finding these feeling and causing a buzz.

“Silly creatures,” Izaya laughed towards the end of the show,
Shutting off his computer to turn towards the window.
“They think Christmas can save them, that the world won’t keep turning
As long as carols are sung and they hide what they’re yearning.

Which is why this is so fun!” He clapped, spinning his chair.
“They expect bombs, devastation but that’s the least of despairs.
No, the real despair’s finding that even tonight
Their most darkest of feelings can’t hide from my light.”

“Nothing for me?” Namie’s voice cut right in.
“Would you care if I didn’t?” “Not really.” “You win!”
He tossed her a box, which she stared at, unsure,
Wondering why he’d gotten something for her.

But alas, it was empty, Namie stifling a frown.
“Just wanted to see if you’d open it,” He winked, sitting back down.
When she left, he was free to admire his work
Though one thought crossed his mind, a tedious quirk.

He’d forgotten poor Celty, made her traverse the city
All night with no bonus. It was really a pity!
I could give her her head back, He offered the shelf a good leer.
“Maybe not,” He shrugged evilly. “There’s always next year.”

So, his mark on this Christmas left deeply ingrained,
Izaya got up and walked towards his favorite game.
Arranged in a Christmas tree, he grabbed the king piece tight.
“Meri Kurishimasu. Hito Rabu! G’night.”