Sometimes I Cry

A/N: I do intend for this to get more graphic and will update the warning and labels as I do so. Feedback is welcome.


Chapter 1

The bleary military lights rushed by at a blur as tiny boots pounded as fast as they could through the hallways towards the medical cells. Dodging between legs and past soldiers, the little frame flitted faster then he ever had as his mind screamed in denial.

He had misunderstood….there was no way he had heard correctly.

Doc would have called him, would have told him if something was wrong. He would have known!

As he rounded a corner into the long hall the cells branched from he saw the removal staff. They spoke in hushed tones in front of her room, a gurney between them. As he sped up to them one started the zip up the cover on the gurney hurriedly but the boy would have none of it.

He leapt onto the gurney, straddling the body, hissing furiously at the removal medic while his tail lashed violently behind him. They moved away, hands up in defeat, not wanting more stitches then necessary if they dared move him by force. They had been ordered to remove the subject before he became aware if possible, and to keep damage to a minimum if they failed.

When the boy felt safe enough to turn his attention, he lowered his gaze to the mostly zipped body bag. Trembling hands shifted to clawed points as he slowly revealed the face inside. The clicks of the zipper unwinding echoed in flattened kitten ears as he held his breath.

His mother’s face looked peaceful in death. So peaceful that his young mind was easily able to deny the truth. He sat gently on her stomach as his hands reformed back to soft fingers and he stroked her cheek.

“Mutter…vake up Mutter…” he called her softly, petting her bangs into place and tracing her cheeks as he waited.

With no response he knelt down and nuzzled the joint of her neck and shoulder. Mewing softly he stroked her face again and waited. As he inhaled to call to her again, a strange scent hit him.

Meat.

His Mutter smelled of meat. Cold, dead, bloody….food.

He sat up so quickly the gurney shook into a wall nearby. The removal medics backed up several more paces and watched anxiously as the small child started shaking horribly. Talloned hands gripped her shoulders and he shook her hard a few times as tears started in his eyes.

“Du aren’t dead Mutter! Vake up!” He chanted several times, high voice rising to a shrill screech before he gave up on speech.

A wailing howl rang from him as cloths split and fine strawberry blonde fur rippled across his skin. Rose colored eyes turned and stared violently at the medic in the exiting hall behind him as his form bent fully into his feline glory. The poor man had enough time to turn in an attempt to flee before a fifty pound were-kitten landed on his back in a clawing and chewing fit of anguish.

Fatally wounded before he hit the ground, the prey only screamed as the mourning child growled and cried through mouthfuls of uniform and flesh until the body beneath him ceased moving.

Pausing only to spit out a shred of medical coat, the kitten took off through the compound. Without regard for where and how he got there, he only had his destination in mind. Running up walls and around bends, he clipped into unsuspecting soldiers as he bolted from the horror of the medical labs.

Finally outside in the barren dirt lot, he paced wildly. He clawed angrily at the ground, tears pouring down his muzzle, as more heart rendered screams and howls erupted from him.

He had no control of himself.

He couldn’t see.
He couldn’t feel.
He couldn’t hear.

All he knew was the smell of his mother’s death that lingered with him, and the horrifying thought that she would be gone forever. He had been in classes all morning while she was dying, and now she was gone forever. He had been so proud to have completed his work early, had marched so happily to his teacher’s office, had heard the voice on the other side of the phone before his teacher had slammed the receiver down.

‘Don’t let him know she’s dead yet..’

Before he knew what he was doing, or even knew why, he started digging. In the middle of the enclosed dirt lot that the soldiers and subjects used for their precious outdoor time, he started digging.

A maniacal rumbling growl started up in time to his arm movements as he dug like a common dog. Claws and fur quickly getting filthy as his tail lashed up a dust cloud behind him.

He had no idea how much time had passed, since it was meaningless now, but it felt very sudden when a hand gently lay on his flank and stroked him. He realized he was on the ground facing a deep hole, trembling in pain and sorrow. His paws were bleeding and he hurt too much to move. Even if his body would obey him, his heart was too torn to motivate himself.

He didn’t want to move.
He didn’t want to sleep.
He didn’t want to be.

He felt the pain and anguish start to fade for a moment before the hand stroking him suddenly shook him hard. He blinked back to himself as he was lifted under the arms to face his commander.

The Major’s face reflected as much worry and horror as he felt, and for a moment his heart considered mending. His Major had never looked at him in such a way.

“Mein katzchen, Vhat is wronge…” He cooed as he shifted the beast in his arms to hold like an infant. He casually lifted a paw to see the split and torn claws that oozed blood and shook his head softly in reproach.

“Mein Mutter….sie’s dead..” More tears welled in the kittens eyes as he mewed and sniffled. The trembling started through his frame again as the child’s instinct denied his mother’s passing.

“I know…Zhey told me vhen I heard your crying. Ah, mein kinder…vhy did you come out here and hurt yourself like this. Vhy are you digging..?” Major’s voice was soft and comforting. He maneuvered to sit on a nearby bench and comfort his favorite subject. His perfect little monster.

“Mutter can go dere. Sie can stay vith me dere..” the response was so quiet Major could only sigh.

“Sie will be cremated like dey all are. It is best dat vay.” He lifted a hand when the kitten would argue. “However ve can still remember her here. How about a tree. A beautiful one dat you may pick out for her? Vill that help her stay vith you?”

The wide eyed kitten nodded, moved by the charisma and inspiration his Major gave to him. A wonderful tree he could visit every day that would grow and grow for her. How could he have doubted that his Major would know the right thing to do. Mother would love a tree.

“Ah very gut. Doc, come here.” The Commander motioned and the scientist hiding against the building came forward, pausing a respectful distance away.

“Have the specimen photo of the subject retained and preserved for our katzchen here. And a catalogue of the regions trees as well taken to his room. He will be out of class until I return him.”

The Major didn’t wait for a response. He just marched past the irriated Doc and off towards his private rooms. His tone turned coddling again and he fluffed the hair of the naked boy in his arms.

“Vell now that ve have calmed down, mein Schrodinger, how about some cake?”