Metalia-sama

Hearing what he did from Kunzite had been hard for Endymion, really hard. To think that he could have had his own father thrown in the dungeons... “It wasn't really me,” he said to himself, trying his best to convince himself that it was true. Metalia was after power, or so Kunzite had said, and getting rid of the king would put the Earth's Crown Prince in charge.

“If that was the case, and Metalia was power hungry then why wouldn't I... he have...” he had trailed off when asking the question. Endymion didn't want to think that he could have killed his own father, but if Metalia was truly the one in control, why only imprison the king?

“Zoisite believed that there was still some part of you in there, fighting against Metalia,” Nephrite explained. “You kept Metalia from going too far. Even when it became well known that someone was sneaking extra food down to the king, Metalia seemed to turn a blind eye to it most of the time. Metalia wanted power, but you managed to keep some of your humanity present.”

Endymion wasn't sure if knowing that was a comfort or more of a burden. He held Metalia back, but at the same time didn't that mean that he truly did have a hand in all the awful things that were done?

The Prince had started wandering aimlessly through the palace after the second discussion that day with his two on-duty guardians. He was lost in his thoughts, turning them over and over in his mind and not really making any progress with them.

He was aware that people were still staying clear of him, or staring at him as he passed, as if they themselves were uncertain if it was really him. They had probably grown accustomed to walking on eggshells around him.

Endymion came to a halt when he spotted a particular person down the hall. He almost didn't recognize him at first outside of his usual black uniform, but it was in fact Jadeite and he appeared transfixed by something he twirled around in his fingers. It looked like a flower.

It was difficult for Endymion to wrap his head around the idea of Zoisite and Jadeite being lovers. As far as he could remember, they had never been particularly close, sharing only a professional relationship. Endymion felt that he himself had been closer to Jadeite than any of the Shitennou had been, being more like a big brother than anything.

Jadeite smiled as he looked down at the blue blossom. He brought it to his nose briefly, inhaling the scent before smiling again. He was completely lost in his own little world, but he was obviously quite happy about it.

Surely even you can see how happy they are now.

He realized then that since waking up, he had only really seen two people in the whole palace look happy. Whether he liked the idea of them having a close, personal relationship or not, he was relieved to see at least someone smiling. It made them happy, that was what was important, right?

“Jadeite?” Endymion called down the hall as he started walking towards the youngest of his guardians. The young man didn't even react, seemingly lost in this blue flower than Zoisite must have given him. “Jadeite?” he asked again as he got closer, still nothing.

Eventually he was close enough to reach out and grab Jadeite's arm lightly, enough to stir him from his thoughts. The Prince wasn't quite prepared for the reaction he got.

Jadeite turned, startled by the sudden contact, and dropped the flower. His eyes were wide with surprise when he saw who had grabbed his attention. At least, Endymion thought it was surprise at first. The wide eyed expression didn't leave however, and it was obvious very quickly that it wasn't surprise or shock, but rather fear that gripped the young man.

“Jadeite, what's wrong?” Endymion asked, concerned. He kept his hand on Jadeite's arm, hoping the contact might help bring him around. “It's me.”

Jadeite's breathing got deep and shaky, his body trembled. He moved his lips to speak, but only managed to get the word “I” out before his voice cut out.

Endymion didn't know what to do or say, or even what he did or said to make this happen. “It's just me,” he said again, this time placing his other hand on Jadeite's shoulder. “Calm down.”

It didn't help, his body shook even more, and he looked to be on the verge of tears as well. All of his fear seemed to be focused on Endymion, and the Prince was terribly confused by this, but even more so by what happened next.

“Get your hands off of him!”

Before Endymion knew what was happening, someone pulled him away from Jadeite and then pushed him back against the wall of the hallway. It took him a moment to get his bearings again, and when he did look up, it was into the furious face of Zoisite.

Zoisite wasn't known for showing much in the way of emotion, and certainly not any kind of extreme display, but there was only one word Endymion could think of that described the look Zoisite gave him. Hate. Pure hatred. That shocked him more than any part of the reaction Jadeite had given him.

The white haired Tennou turned away from him, and in an immediate flip of emotions, knelt down beside Jadeite who had since backed away to the other wall and slumped down onto the floor. He didn't touch him, but Zoisite spoke in low, soothing tones, completely different from only a moment ago.

Endymion was afraid to move or say anything. He could only hear snip-its of what Zoisite said, mostly “it's OK”, “I'm here”, and such. Jadeite was breathing heavily, like he had just run a long distance and couldn't get his breath. His one hand clutched his chest while the other was balled into a fist. Zoisite asked him something and he shook his head back and forth quickly.

Slowly, Zoisite turned his head and looked back at Endymion. Thankfully his expression has eased up a bit, but it was still very angry.

“What happened?”

Endymion looked down the hall, and both Nephrite and Kunzite were making their way over. Endymion didn't really know what to say, but Zoisite spoke up first anyway.

“I'll take care of him,” he said, referring to Jadeite, “can you please take the Master away from here?”

Could his mere presence have been what caused Jadeite to react like that? Why? Not really knowing of a better course of action, Endymion walked over to his other two guardians and started to leave. He stole one more look over his shoulder and found Jadeite looking at him, now with a tear streaked face. Zoisite cupped his cheek, making Jadeite look back at him, and Endymion looked away as well. Kunzite had some explaining to do.

---

“He's gone,” Zoisite whispered, “can you stand?”

Jadeite nodded, and with some assistance got up, but he was leaning heavily on his lover. Zoisite got himself under Jadeite's good arm for support. “Are you sure he didn't do anything to you?”

Another nod. So then Jadeite's reaction must have been caused by the presence of the Master alone. Not a good sign at all. Slowly Zoisite helped Jadeite, who was still having difficulty, back to their chambers. Once there, Zoisite deposited the younger man in one of the stuffed arm chairs and fetched a glass of water.

He handed the glass to Jadeite and then knelt beside the chair. He discovered early on that it was best to get himself lower than Jadeite whenever he was upset. Keep himself smaller and non threatening.

The water helped and soon the attack passed, but it was replaced by a wave of tears. Zoisite reached out and held Jadeite's hand, but didn't say anything. Jadeite would talk when he was good and ready.

“I just saw him and,” sobs interrupted his speech, “and that was it. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think, I couldn't move.”

“You had a panic attack,” Zoisite explained softly.

Jadeite didn't like the explanation. “What kind of guardian am I if I can't even be near him?”

Zoisite had no answer for that, and it was a question he had himself regarding his own actions. He had never felt anger like that before, an emotion that took control of him and caused him to lash out at his own Master when he had done nothing to deserve it. 'I saw Metalia, not Endymion.'

He couldn't help but think of his deal with Beryl then. Had the witch tricked him in some way? The exchange shouldn't be taking effect until after he died, but there was no doubt that he was questioning his loyalties now.

“We were supposed to keep all of that a secret from him, now he'll know something is wrong,” Jadeite continued. “I'm pathetic.”

“No,” Zoisite said, jumping in immediately. “You couldn't help what happened, it could have just as easily been anyone else. He did things to you that were disgusting, and they are not things that you will get over easily, despite what you think.”

“It was Metalia that did those things,” Jadeite corrected.

Zoisite hadn't even noticed his mistake. “Yes,” he said, correcting himself, “but using the Master's appearance and body. It would be natural for you to associate him with that.”

“I have trouble separating the two,” Jadeite whispered.

Zoisite nodded, “so do I.”

---

The Master stared at his two guardians for a long while without saying a word. Nephrite kept quiet not sure what do say when the Master finally did asked the question. They had been wanting to keep Jadeite and Zoisite's abuse under wraps, but this incident was going to open all of that up now, wasn't it?

He didn't like the idea of Kunzite answering any questions the Master had either. He was getting to be unpredictable, and may just blurt out the truth. That would probably be worse than forever dodging the Master's questions.

But the questions never came. He just looked from one to the other and back again for a good long time. He was waiting to see if they offered an explanation, Nephrite figured.

“Am I free to leave?” he asked finally.

Kunzite gestured with his hand down the hall, indicating that he was indeed.

With one more look at both men, the Earth Prince left. His paces down the hall were tense, Nephrite noted before he disappeared around the corner.

There was a long continued silence between the remaining Tennou. It took every bit of control Nephrite had not to hit Kunzite when he finally did speak. “Damn them for ruining it.”

“I don't know if you forgot,' Nephrite replied heatedly, “but things weren't exactly a picnic for Jadeite these last few months.”

Kunzite scoffed, “He should get over it.”

That was it, Nephrite lost it. He balled his fist and took at shot at Kunzite's temple. The punch was dodged at the last second and Kunzite quickly countered with a jab at Nephrite's stomach.

It was hardly even noted by the red head. Adrenaline had filled his veins, and he was seeing red. He took another shot at Kunzite's head, this time from his blind side. That connected, a cheap shot, but it felt good. Kunzite stumbled for a few steps before regaining his footing. Nephrite came to a halt when he saw that Kunzite now held a hand over his missing eye, the realization of what he had just done was sobering. “Bastard...” Kunzite muttered.

“You deserved it,” he replied. “Don't ever say anything like that again.”

Kunzite shot a glare at him before walking away. Nephrite couldn't help but realize just how weak Kunzite appeared now. It was more than just his eye, the old Kunzite would never have made a comment like that before, picking on someone so much smaller and weaker than himself.

Nephrite was beginning to lose faith in Kunzite as a leader. The two men had never been on the best terms, but Nephrite had held at least some respect for him. But not now. Not after that attack on Jadeite. Nephrite made the decision then to speak with the Master himself, alone, to set the record straight with him. He wouldn't tell the Master about Zoisite and Jadeite, but he would at very least tell him why.

---

Jadeite spend the rest of the day shut away in his and Zoisite's room. He left the chair eventually and curled up in bed. Zoisite had stuck around for a while, gently stroking his hair and being an immense comfort just by being present.

After some time, Zoisite asked if Jadeite would be OK on his own for a short period of time. There was something he needed to do, but he would be back quickly. Jadeite agreed to this, feeling much better now that he was in more familiar surroundings.

Was this going to happen every time he was near the Master? If so, how could he possibly function as one of the Shitennou? He would be a burden to the others.

Jadeite sat up in bed and pressed a palm to his forehead. “I can't do this any more,” he said aloud to himself. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up slowly. When he slid the bedroom door open, he was surprised to see Zoisite seated at the desk, ink brush in hand. Jadeite slid the door closed behind him “Zoisite?”

Zoisite looked over his shoulder briefly and then returned to the paper. “Jadeite, what's wrong?” he asked. He finished his last few characters, set the brush down, and then turned in his seat to face Jadeite fully.

“I need to tell you something, and I know you'll understand, but I'm not sure how to tell the others.” Jadeite hadn't moved far from the door He looked up at Zoisite briefly, and then back down to the floor. “Actually, I'm not sure you'll approve.”

“You can tell me, Jadeite.”

Jadeite nodded and then summoned all the courage he could fine. “I don't think that I can continue to be one of the Shitennou. Not the way I am now.”

How was he expecting Zoisite to react? Jadeite wasn't really sure any more. Before today, he would have thought that Zoisite would be angry with him for being so weak. Maybe he would still think that, but after today, and what he had said earlier...

Zoisite turned back to the desk and folded the piece of paper he had been writing on neatly in thirds and then offered it to Jadeite. “Here,” he said, “I plan to deliver this to His Majesty tomorrow morning.”

Curious, Jadeite took the offered paper and his eyes grew wide when he read the two characters written on the outside. He didn't even need to open the letter. “Z... Zoi... you planned to...”

“Like you, I know that I can no longer serve here. We can go together, if you like.”

The idea of facing the Master's father alone in this frightened Jadeite, but now that he knew that Zoisite would be there beside him, he felt more confident in his decision.

Zoisite offered a smile and then set out a second sheet. He stood up and offered the spot to Jadeite, who readily took it. It was strange how easily the words found their way onto the page. He really should be feeling shame, disgrace while writing this, but joy was the only emotion he could find.

After he signed his name to the bottom of the notice, he gave a satisfied smile to Zoisite. “Done,” he said, eager for the ink to dry.

Zoisite nodded, but his expression was more serious. “If we do this tomorrow morning, we'll need to prepare everything quickly. I've spoken to one of the servants, her family owns a cottage on the lake near here. It will be empty for the next few months and we are welcome to it.”

It sounded like a dream to Jadeite. To get away from the palace and live in a nice secluded area with only Zoisite for company. They could live in their own little world without needing to worry about the monster that might be lurking just around the corner. “It sounds perfect.”