Do you remember?

DTE, yes, I want to read stories with Riki free more often, as I think it will show things in a different light. I hope you will enjoy what\'s next.



Misaki, first things first, thank you for reading. Iason\'s \'acting strange\' will be explained as follows. At least, I\'ll try. :)



Barrie18, as always, your shrewd mind sees right through my plot. Guy and Kirie ... melodrama alert, what can I say? It would have been great if Iason had been less than aloof regarding Riki\'s skills, but he\'s a Blondie, right? ;)



Jishe, dear, thank you! Maybe the story doesn\'t go exactly like you expect, but I hope you will enjoy it even so.



MikkiSenpai, thank you for reading my story! I understand why you say that Katze is acting selfishly, but it is actually what Riki wants, and we all need to let our friends act on their own accord if we don\'t want to lose them. I guess it\'s just my take on things, but I do hope that what is happening next will be to your liking.



Orant mihi, dear, you surprise me with the insight on the last chapter. And it\'s a very pleasant surprise! Thank you! Yes, your guess on why Guy is having Kirie is the exact same thing I\'ve been thinking (and not only me, there are other stories pointing in that direction, I just don\'t remember them right now). The title of this chapter was inspired by you, btw, as you reminded me of Blondie, the singer from the \'80s (one of her songs is called \'Heart of glass\').



Everyone, I hope you will enjoy the next bit!











Hearts of glass



The sound of his own footsteps sounded hollow to his ears as Iason walked the floor of his own penthouse. He was expecting to find Riki moping alone in the bedroom, but he wasn’t in the mood for his pet’s tantrums. He was still holding in his own fury at Riki’s disappearance at the wedding ceremony. So it wasn’t a wise idea to face Riki yet. So for the sake of a momentary peace, Iason decided in favor of his study, but his steps stopped dead in their tracks, when his eyes landed on the open pages of the book laying atop his desk. That wasn’t, it couldn’t … The faint metallic shine of the ring fired the cold stare in Iason’s eyes. An almost trembling hand reached for the cursed object, when something else caught his eye. He knew instantly what the words meant, and a frustrated growl died in his chest. “Then should you be dead for me too, Riki?”, he whispered bitterly. His hands moved without their usual grace, as he jerkily grabbed the litter box from under his desk, and threw the book and the ring into it. “I’ll have Daryl remove the trash later”, he told himself. “It’s better this way. Everything will be normal now”, but the look in his eyes was telling a different story. Instead of the normal cool icey blue, his eyes had darkened to an almost dull shade, unheard of in Blondies.



**********



Kirie was cursing under his breath, slamming the foods on the table. He didn’t realize he was watched until Riki spoke:



-Does Guy know?



There wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in that voice, but Kirie trembled with blind fury. Ever since this man had landed at their door a few weeks ago, he felt the need to crawl out of his skin, or better yet, dig the man’s eyes out with his fingernails. Everybody talked about how Guy had never gotten over Riki, and Kirie was now faced with that truth.



Riki and Guy had spent endless hours together, talking sotto voce about things that Kirie knew nothing about. He had not been dismissed from their presence but for all that he still might not have been there. Any efforts he had made to get Guy’s attention had failed miserably. Even if he hinted about going to bed all Guy did was tell him that if he was too tired he could take himself off to bed and leave them alone to talk. Kirie knew he was being pushed out.



And now, the asshole was trying to dig up some shit that knew would make Guy boot him out the door. No, Guy can’t know. So feigning indifference, despite his blood running cold to his feet, Kiri tried to face Riki down.



-Know what?



-That you’re whoring yourself to put food on the table.



Kirie felt like his lungs could no longer fetch enough air. All livid, he screamed:



-That’s a lie! You, asshole, don’t you dare tell shit like that to Guy, or I’ll fuckin’ kill you!



It was easy for Riki to fend off Kirie’s clumsy attack, and let the kid lose his balance, and land on his ass. He held out his hand to help him up, but, furiously, Kirie pushed it aside getting himself up, ingnoring the open hand.



Tiredly Riki just stated:



-I won’t tell him, if you tell me why you are doing it. As far as I know, Guy is perfectly capable of providing for both of you …



-For the three of us, you mean, fucker!



Kirie’s fists were tight, but he did not dare move, after all this was still Riki the Dark. He watched warily as Riki’s black pools darkened menacingly as they bore into his own eyes.



-I carry my own load, Riki hissed. I make sure that I’m not a burden here.



-You are a fucking burden! You’re my fuckin’ burden! Everything was fine until you turned up.



That was the moment Riki realized that he had screwed up big time. That even though he only showed Guy friendship, Guy wanted more. All those late night talks, Guy telling Kiri to leave them, if he couldn’t cope. . .Damn, why hadn’t he seen it before it came to this.



The kid sounded really desperate, and that moved something inside Riki, noting that Kirie was on the brink of tears.



-I carry my own load, too! I cannot fight, ‘cause Guy won’t let me, and he threatened to kick me out if I get into trouble, but this, this he doesn’t have to know! He thinks I’m doing some shitty courier jobs, that pays shit! He doesn’t know, and you won’t tell him, ‘cause I swear to Jupiter, I’ll kill you while you sleep!



As swift as a cat and just as calm Riki gripped Kirie’s nape tightly and squeezed, until the boy succumbed under the pressure and fell on his knees. Watching the kid closely, he asked again:



-Why are you doing it?



-Because I don’t want Guy to think that I’m here only for the house, or for the clothes he buys me, or for the money! Kirie blurted out, totally defeated.



-So you dress up with the clothes Guy buys for you, and then roam the outskirts of Midas to get your ass nailed for cash … Riki stated matter of factly.



Kirie changed his demeanor and started to beg, out of options:



-Please, please, don’t tell Guy, he’ll throw me the hell out!



As Riki remained unmoved, Kirie approached him tentatively, and touched Riki’s crotch, trying to unzip his pants.



-I’ll be good to you if you keep quiet, I promise, no more threats or nothing.



A solid hand stopped him.



-No, Kirie, you don’t have to. Not for me. I won’t tell Guy anything. But you should stop, he’ll find out sooner or later. I’m sorry kid, this is my fault, I see that now.



Kirie really felt like crying now. So he let out his tears, burying his face in his hands. Riki turned and left, because those were not tears for him to see.



***



- Hey’ what’s with the long face? Did Kirie cause any trouble?



-No, Guy, he’s an angel. But I think you should talk to him.



-What do you mean? Kirie, an angel? In your dreams, pal.



-I think he feels lonely ever since I got here.



-He’s just a whiner. Did he tell you that?



-He didn’t have to. I figured it out.



Guy remained pensive for a while. If he was to think about it at all Kirie was rather strange these days. Stranger than usual, at least.



****



“The last thing we give up is our conditioning.” It was that phrase that played over and over again in Raoul’s mind, while watching Iason disintegrate before his eyes day by day. Disintegrating? Yes, the formidable self contained Blondie was really on the brink of personal destruction. It was painful for Raoul to see his friend in the throws of mental agony. Iasons’ eyes, his beautiful blue eyes, were empty, dull and lifeless. The corners of that aristocratic mouth had fallen and Raoul couldn’t even recall the last time he had seen a smile on that now stern visage. A deep wrinkle was now crossing the once smooth royal forehead. Raoul thought that Iason had aged since Riki had left, and not a bit of his old self remained.



He and Katze took it in turns to visit the Blondie, just to check up on things. Yet, things continued to spiral downwards. Since Riki’s improptu departure, Iason had spoken very little, and his friends’ efforts to take him out of his self imposed stupor had proved useless.



“Iason, we should talk.”



“There is nothing to talk about. I’m perfectly fine.”



“No, you are not. You miss Ri …”



“Don’t you dare utter that cursed name in front of me!”



At first he would should Raoul down, when Raoul mentioned ‘that’ name. But those bouts of anger had grown thinner, and it seemed that Iason had not even the strength to get upset anymore. Raoul’s words soon died on his lips, and he soon gave up on mentioning Riki around Iason at all. He knew what Iason had to deal with, but no one ever carried another’s battles and won. It was what had been ingrained into that perfect brain since the very beginning, the conditioning that Raoul, too, shared, with his close friend, that hindered things from reaching a natural conclusion. Caught between the strongest imperatives of his life, Iason was falling apart, with Raoul and Katze as silent and pained companions.



“Why don’t you just go after him?”, Katze had blurted out at a certain point, ignoring the frightened look Raoul had swiftly thrown at him.



Iason had not answered right away, in truth he failed to answer at all, but Raoul believed that he knew the truth.



Riki had left of his own accord, leaving Iason to deal with his own misery; and Iason knew perfectly well that going after Riki just to put him back on a leash would have meant nothing but ruining the fragile memory of the feelings they had cared so much to hide and deny from one another. No, Iason could not just give in to the master conditioning this time, because it would have meant that Riki meant nothing but a pet to him. Raoul thought he understood that much. And he also understood that going after Riki as a repenting lover was still something that Iason had not yet the power to do. The answer to Katze’s question had come as almost an whisper.



“I’m not chasing after any stray dogs, and I forbid you to do it, as well.”



Katze could not understand. However it was that part of Raoul’s soul that he knew he shared only with Iason and his kind that allowed him to understand what was going on in Iason’s mind. He had tried to reason with Katze, advising him, begging him to not take any shaky steps down this path, just yet.



“Damn Iason! I’m going to tell Riki how Iason is ripping his heart out for him. He can’t be such an asshole! He needs to know what’s happening here, he thinks Iason doesen’t care about it him. That’s why he left in the first place.”



“No, Katze. If Iason finds out about this, he will find the means to punish you. I don’t want to be caught between you two!”



“Sometimes people have to take chances Raoul. Don’t you care about your friend?”



“I care about you! Let Iason deal with his own problems, if he doesn’t want our help!”



“I have you watching out for me, don’t I? He would not dare touch me, because of you!”



“You think not? In his present state of mind he is capable of anything.”



Iason’s pain had begun to poison their relationship, and Raoul had started to feel an erie sensation of disquiet. Was Katze right about Iason refraining from punishing his friend’s lover, could he take that risk?Not at this time. Iason was too lost to see logic at this stage.



Raoul needed Katze to try and understand what the issue was on Iason’s side.



“Katze, can’t you just understand? Iason would be glad to have Riki back, only if Riki did it on his own accord. Not out of pity, or obligation!”



Katze’s pursed lips had proven he hadn’t thought of that angle.





*********



-So, Riki, why exactly did you come back to the old neighborhood? Everyone thought you were pretty set with that Blondie of yours.



Guy tried to smile nonchalantly, but he needed to quench that need for info that Riki had not seemed too eager to share.



The grey eyed mongrel also felt the need to know if Riki was … available, at least for …. , exactly what for? These half sentences had been screaming inside Guy’s head ever since Riki’s unexpected appearance on his doorstep.



And what about Kirie? Now that was the one question Guy didn’t care to think about just yet. And yet random thoughts and excuses did play in his head.



The kid was kind of a burden anyway. Great in the sack, almost as good as Riki, but with a constant need for proofs of affection that got on Guy’s nerves.



Admittedly though it had only gotten on his nerves when Riki had reappeared.



-Can’t a guy just come back to see his old friends? Riki snorted in self derision.



The stern look on Guy’s face told him that his ex pairing partner didn’t buy that.



-What can I say, Guy …. Things didn’t turn out the way I planned …



-Your, ehm, Blondie?



-Not mine, apparently. Riki’s voice became void of any emotion.



-Did he … find another … toy?



Riki’s glare spoke volumes, and Guy bit his lower lip pensively. Could it be … that Riki had been more than just a toy?



-No, he just didn’t care for playing anymore.



The chill in Riki’s voice made Guy’s blood turn cold. He tried to seize the moment, though.



-Then, would you … come back to me?



A combination of surprise and anguish instantly appeared in Riki’s eyes.



-Don’t you have Kirie, Guy?



-I can send him away, if he steps on your nerves.



-No! Hey man, do you even know what you are saying?!



-What? You want us to keep him around?



-Guy!



The fury in Riki’s voice made Guy’s hair stand on ends. But moreover the added mixture of sadness in Riki’s tone made Guy feel his soul was being washed over by conflicted feelings.



-When did you turn into a bastard, too?



Guy felt the need to ask who else was a bastard, but refrained, realizing too well whom Riki was talking about. The feeling of guilt crept deeper inside his soul.



-Hey, I’m back, Kirie’s pitched voice could be heard from the hallway.



The tension in the room was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Kirie’s eyes moved nervously back and forth from Riki to Guy, and then back again. The insecurity that could be read in those eyes spoke volumes, and Riki’s chest constricted at the thought of what had to be going on in that haunted soul, knowing it was his fault. He quickly brushed past Kirie as he made his way towards the exit:



-Sorry, kid, he mumbled, his eyes cast aside, not being able to look Kiri in the face. He couldn’t cope with seeing the pain upon the poor kid’s face.



Kirie’s lips started to tremble.





****



-Where are we going now? Katze asked a little exasperated.



-On vacation! Came the pretended cheerful reply from Raoul.



-Now? Is it a good thing? With Iason …



-Iason, Iason, all I hear about is Iason! How about you start to remember I’m your mate now, and should come first in your regard.



- What the hell are you saying , Raoul! What’s got into you? You know god damned well you come first in my life!



Raoul uncharacteristically slumped onto a chair in defeat.



-Katze, please let us leave this place for a while! I cannot stand watching him …



-Because neither of you want to listen!



Raoul’s eyes became fixed on the floor, like a miffed child.



-Would you ever leave me, Katze? Came the barely mumbled words.



An exasperated sigh escaped Katze’s parted his lips:



-How old are you, anyway? There’s no resemblance between us and them!



-I would never leave you, you know.



Raoul’s eyes shone clear and bright as they bore into Katze’s. The dealer felt moved, and he rushed towards his lover. He took the blonde head into his hands and pressed Raoul’s forehead on his chest.



-Don’t talk nonsense. This has nothing to do with us. But we have to be strong for our friend’s sake.



-I don’t want to be strong. I need to be with you only. At least for three days, Katze. Please.



The redhead knew he could not ignore Raoul’s plea. Maybe it would be for the best if they took a little break. There was no point in denying themselves the postponed honeymoon. After all, what could happen in three days? However, even as he told himself this platitude, Katze knew that a lot could happen, in an instant.



***



-Are you going to throw me out? The boy asked, not daring to move an inch.



Guy covered his eyes with his hands. If Riki was not intending to come back to him, as a lover, at least, not just yet … what was he to do about Kirie? So he put it plainly.



-Not yet.



Kirie started to sob instantly, but, before he could turn on his heels and flee, Guy’s long arms reached out to him and pulled him in.



The man then whispered in his ear.



-Shhh, calm down, I’m not saying … geez, Kirie, why do you have to take it so badly? Did I ever promise you anything?



-No, the muffled reply came, but I hoped …



-Hope is not for people like us, kid …



Despite the harsh words, Guy pulled Kirie closer to his body, and desperately sought the boy’s mouth with his own. He covered it, slipping his tongue inside, suddenly aching, needing a human touch. Kirie responded blindly, and Guy dragged his lithe body on top of his, taking out the boy’s shirt from his pants, undressing him while groping the pliant muscles. Hurriedly, Kirie took out Guy’s semi-soft organ and rubbed it until fully erect, then impaled his body, while grabbing Guy’s neck with his hands. With his eyes fixed on a point on a wall, Kirie moved up and down.



He had withdrawn to place where only he could go, the place he went to when working the streets.



“It’s all about survival, as always … Just give them what they want …” the familiar mantra repeated in his head.



Guy immediately sensed the mechanical nature of Kirie’s movements and he pushed the boy on his back, needy of feeling, for at least a fleeting moment, something real. Kirie moaned, as he was forced out of ‘that’ place, at the sudden change of position, and Guy forcing him to really respond. Kiri’s locked his eyes to Guy’s each truly seeing the other at that moment. At least, they both shared the knowledge of loving someone that did not love them back.





**********



-What precisely are you asking me for? Jupiter’s lithe hand landed on Iason’s cheek, in a motherly gesture.



-I just want … to forget.



-I do not advise you to do this. And I do not think it necessary.



-But it is … necessary. My work has suffered lately. So, please, mother, take out … this tumor …



-Tumor? Before you stood before me and called it love.

Iason’s jaw tightened painfully.



-I was wrong.



-Do you hate him?



-Yes, came the harsh answer.



-Then you still love him.



Iason opened his mouth to protest, but the fair hand hushed him.



-I’ll do it, because you are asking this of me. You’ll forget all about Riki, but you will remember everything else. This means that many memories will seem illogical to you.



-So be it.



-You will not escape the pain, my son.



-Why not go for a full procedure, mother?



-I cannot afford losing your beautiful mind. This is my offer, take it or leave it. When you ask questions, no one will answer you. It will pain you that you don’t remember something important. You may even see Riki …

Iason became a little fidgety. “He cannot even stand hearing his name …”, Jupiter pondered.



-Forbid me then from going into Ceres. I assure you he will not be coming here.



Jupiter just nodded, pensively. “You once talked to me about love, but you yourself failed to understand. If he was meant for you, you will never truly forget him. That is why you never remembered Raoul but remembered Riki”.