Voiceless

Title: A Proposal

Pairing: Wolfram X Yuri

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings:

Summary: Yuri comes to a decision…again.

Chapter Number: #26

Author Note: A trick, I tell you. It’s a trick!
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Wolfram was out with his troops exercising and going over defense strategies, Yuri assumed. He had his office to himself while Gunter was away somewhere in the castle doing his own thing and Greta was job shadowing Anissina. Yuri had given up on working half an hour previous, and sat staring at the wood of his desk. He had more on his mind than the many, many pointless disputes and complaints of his people at that moment. Much more on his mind.

He hadn’t forgotten his promise to Wolfram, his promise that declared he would propose once again when he had the rapist captured and in custody. He couldn’t capture himself and still propose, and he couldn’t even bear the thought of proposing again at all. He was the one who had hurt Wolfram in the first place, he was the one that had caused the pain and the suffering, even if he didn’t remember doing it, it didn’t change the fact that it was his body and his heart still supporting that other being.

Yuri couldn’t trust himself. Even if it hurt Wolfram in the long run, Yuri knew that he could not propose. He couldn’t keep his word about arresting the person responsible, and he didn’t trust himself allowing Wolfram to get that close. What if the maou came out again? What if he did the same, horrible thing all over again? How many times might it happen before Wolfram stopped forgiving him? Had he ever forgiven him?

He could not marry Wolfram, and he knew that he would have to tell Wolfram that.

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“Wolfram? I want to talk to you, okay?” Yuri said to the blonde demon as they left the dining hall after lunch.

“Alright,” Wolfram said uncertainly. “About what?” Yuri didn’t answer and Wolfram followed him to an empty and secluded room at the far end of the castle. “Yuri, what’s all this about?”

Yuri had his back to him, and that made Wolfram nervous. Was he calling him here to tell him he was leaving? Going back home to Earth and not letting anyone else know. Or was it something less important?

“Wolfram, I can’t marry you,” Yuri said. Wolfram, whose throat had squeezed shut, filled with fear. If he felt disappointed or angry, would the other come to extract revenge for his selfishness? If he couldn’t feel let down and he couldn’t feel mad, he didn’t know what to feel at all. He couldn’t be happy or relieved, he wanted to marry Yuri, he loved him more than anything, but there were no other feelings to experience if he couldn’t be upset.

He let out a choked noise that made Yuri flinch, and he couldn’t stand not knowing what expression was on that face. It wasn’t right, sheltering himself from the pain he was causing. He deserved to know, and when he looked, he wished he hadn’t, but accepted it anyway.

Wolfram looked agonized and terrified. His eyes held both emotions prominently and Yuri had to drop his gaze to the floor under the heavy weight of them. The pain he understood, but why the fear? He thought about it in the silence of the room, a silence that was disrupted only by Wolfram’s labored breaths and occasional choked off sounds that might’ve been unformed words. The first time that their marriage had been called off, Wolfram had gotten angry, disappeared, and then assaulted. He’d gotten angry, was that key?

Wolfram felt that if he was hurt or mad he’d be attacked again? It was torture, Yuri recognized. He was torturing him, the person he knew he loved in a way he loved no others. He was reaching his hand into Wolfram’s chest and squeezing his heart harder and harder, as if waiting for it to surrender and stop beating in his hands.

He was killing him, and he wouldn’t allow himself to do that. Who cared if he broke his promise? What did it matter if he couldn’t penalize himself and then marry his love? No one. Nothing. He wasn’t going to hurt Wolfram like that again.

“I’m not going to marry you,” he stammered uncomfortable. “Until I capture the spies.” Wolfram let out an agonized groan and Yuri flinched.

“No,” Wolfram grunted. “No, no more.” He closed his eyes tightly and willed himself away. First refusal, then attack, then accepted, then revoked on a condition, the condition isn’t met, so he calls it off, then he calls it off again, and then he tried to make a new condition. No. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Wolfram?” Yuri said softly, moving closer to him. He jerked away.

“No! I’ve had enough, stop this!” Wolfram closed his eyes tightly and Yuri could see that he was shaking with either rage or fear, maybe pain. Maybe all three and then more. “I can’t take it anymore, you’re hurting me!” He turned to run, but Yuri’s hand wrapped around his arm tightly and yanked him back.

“Listen to me,” Yuri said firmly, Wolfram stopped tugging. “I’m doing this for you.”

“Then please stop!” He shrieked, yanking his arm away. “I don’t want you to!”

“Trust me!” Yuri cried. Wolfram flinched, and allowed his eyes to trace the cracks in the floor. “I can’t bring the person that attacked you to justice, so I’m going to catch the spies instead to make up for it.”

“What if you can’t?” Wolfram yelled with a snarl. “What if you can’t? What if you never find out who it was, what if they aren’t people you can bring to justice? What then? You leave me? No!” Yuri looked over Wolfram sadly and placed a tentative hand on his shoulder.

“Then I’ll just buy you a present,” he said quietly. “Will that be enough? If I can’t capture them I’ll buy you a gift to make up for it, and then I’ll propose.” He felt a tremor run through his love’s body and sighed. “Okay?”

“Fine,” Wolfram hissed. “Fine, I don’t care.” Wolfram yanked his arm free and started walking towards the door. Yuri watched him go and followed after several moments of solitude.

He would catch the spies, and then he would buy a present. Why only give one when Wolfram deserved two?

~Alice Von Wonderland

Closing Note: A little hiccup of drama to kick start the second plot.

Until Next Time

Alice Von Wonderland