Voiceless

Title: The Morning After

Pairing: Wolfram X Yuri

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: la langue

Summary: The morning after isn’t as euphoric as the night before.

Chapter Number: #33

Author Note: In response to my flood of reviews, I updated twice this weekend. Thank you all and I hope you get more enjoyment out of this chapter than…well…I got writing it. To me it feels like a regurgitation of drama ending with something oddly fluffy.. It’s out of my system, and a wedding is coming soon.
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Yuri jerked awake early in the morning. The sky was still half blackened—or half lightened for the optimists. Something felt off and, at first, it was hard to place. It then collapsed upon him like a load of bricks when he turned his head towards where Wolfram lay sleeping. At first he saw a glint of metal out of the corner of his eye and located the sword tossed near the door, when his eyes dropped down to Wolfram who burrowed beneath the blankets he was perturbed. He was sleeping curled up and silently with the blanket nearly covering his head, all that was showing was the top of one ear and a mop of blonde hair.

It wasn’t particularly unusual, but Yuri knew that something was not right. He leaned over Wolfram’s body, attempting to see if Wolfram was only pretending to be asleep so that he could jump him when he was least expecting it, but saw, instead, a pile of clothing on the floor. There were pants, Wolfram’s jacket, his necktie, and then…

“Wolfram!” Yuri screamed, jerking away from the form beside him that squirmed slightly. “Are you naked!?” Wolfram’s eyes pulled open slowly, and Yuri didn’t like the oddly contented look in them. He looked as if everything in the world was as it should be. As if being void of pants and underwear was acceptable.

“What are you yelling about?” Wolfram asked groggily, closing his eyes and pulling the covers over his head. “It’s still early. Go back to sleep.”

“Are you wearing pants?” Yuri thundered, Wolfram shifted slightly and moved the blanket beneath his eyes so he could see. The look in his eyes said nothing short of “no, is there a problem with that?” “Wolfram!” Yuri scooted backwards, close enough to the edge of the bad that one shift in weight could knock him off.

“Go back to sleep,” Wolfram grumbled, closing his eyes slowly. “You can’t pretend that you’re not tired too.”

“How can I sleep if you’re in my bed naked!?” Wolfram grunted quietly.

“I’m not naked,” he moaned groggily. “I have a shirt on—it’s your fault anyway.”

“How is any of this my fault?” Yuri exclaimed, watching as Wolfram slowly pulled himself into a sitting position. He lost his urge to argue when he saw Wolfram wince and let out a long hiss of what could only be pain. “Wolfram, did something happen?” Yuri watched helplessly as Wolfram’s face drooped steadily into a look of saddened disappointment—like the face a child has when, after waiting for several hours for a relative to arrive to take him away to some joyous location, had to face the facts that no one was coming. “Wolfram?”

“It’s nothing,” he said in a quiet voice. “Go back to sleep.” With the blankets still pooled around his waist, Wolfram began to gather his clothing off of the floor. All he bothered to put back on was his pants, then he was gone without saying anything. After the door closer behind him, Yuri allowed himself to inspect the sheets after pulling himself free of them. There was blood on them, but not much. He knew where it had come from and that left him more questions than answers.

-------

Wolfram was present at breakfast, which surprised Yuri who had contemplated drowning himself in his morning bath after discovering more evidence of his other half’s experiences. He wasn’t in a talking mood, but when Greta spoke to him he was courteous enough to answer.

It made no sense to him. Wolfram had been attacked again and yet he behaved as if nothing major was out of the ordinary. He feared that it was because Wolfram was trying to hide it. He was certain that, this time, Wolfram had either refused to fight when the maou took him to spare himself pain or he had fought and then healed himself to keep the secret. But if he’d healed himself, Yuri wondered, why did he still hiss in pain when he sat up in the morning? Wouldn’t that be one of the most important fixes? It made no sense, and when he asked Wolfram to meet him later Wolfram had refused.

Thus, Yuri sat in his office with Gunter as company. Gunter was a cheerful as ever, but Yuri failed to mirror his joyous attitude. Wolfram was…what? He was being difficult? Odd? Not acting like himself? Maybe all of those. Definitely all of those.

------

“Stupid, stupid,” Wolfram muttered to himself and he walked down the long path leading to the entrance of the castle’s land. “What were you thinking?” He growled to himself and started walking faster. He’d been a fool. He’d called out the maou and then submitted himself. Sure, it was Yuri’s body, his fiancé’s body, but it wasn’t Yuri! It was someone else. He’d given himself to someone else willingly and thought, in a moment of euphoric idiocy, that it was the same as giving himself to Yuri.

The worst thing that he could imagine was that he would have to tell Yuri the truth about it. He would have to confess that he’d been attempting to lure out the maou to talk with him—to ask him why it had happened, to try to understand what made him abandon his ideas of justice to engage in forceful carnal pleasures at Wolfram’s expense. He wanted to know those things, but instead he’d acted like a trollop and laid on his back.

A feeling like seasickness grasped his stomach and he staggered to the side of the path, heaving. He stood there retching, even after his stomach had emptied, for several long moments before gathering himself and stumbling away.

Was it the same as cheating? Wolfram wondered when he reached the gate and leaned against it. It was maou’s doing, but he’d provoked him. In the beginning his intentions had been pure. He just wanted to talk to him and ask why and loose his fear. He thought of how foolish he would look to the world if, every time the maou emerged to doll out justice, he went running for cover or stared in horror. He just didn’t want to be afraid, but that fear was nothing compared to the gut wrenching sensation that accompanied the knowledge that he had, in fact, been unfaithful.

Wolfram knew he would have to explain it all to Yuri, but he didn’t know how he would start it or how he’d end it. It wasn’t as easy as saying “well, I called him out and lost my fear of him when he slept with me”. There was more to it, but that seemed to cover everything. He didn’t want to tell him, but he didn’t want the engagement to be called off because Yuri misunderstood. He didn’t want it to end because Yuri thought that the maou had attacked him once again. If it was to be ended, it would be ended because of the truth.

If it was to be ended, so was the world.

-------

Wolfram had agreed to talk to him, but it didn’t seem like he was going to show up. He said that it would be right after dinner, in that specific sitting room, but an hour had slid past and Wolfram had yet to make his appearance. He waited regardless, knowing that Wolfram had to be over ten times more unnerved than he was.

Finally, as it neared the two hour mark, Wolfram opened the door, feeling sicker than ever and looking just as bad. He fell into the seat that faced the one that Yuri had been trying to sit in, but failed to and stared at the cushion until the he did sit down. They sat in silence, and Yuri, with great effort, had to break it.

“What happened between you and him last night?” He asked. Wolfram flinched almost painfully and Yuri looked away, anticipating a long period of silence.

“I called him out,” Wolfram said almost instantly. “I called him so I could ask him why, but it didn’t work that way.” He glanced at Yuri with emerald eyes laced with sadness that made Yuri want to cry. There was something broken there. He glanced away, unable to handle the sadness of the world and saw Wolfram twisting his engagement ring subconsciously around on his finger. “I…we…”

He was stuck after that. He’d had an entire explanation rehearsed in his brain, but it was long gone and all he could think of was Yuri getting angry and taking his ring away. Maybe it wasn’t like Yuri to get mad, but what was the other option? Pain. If he made Yuri sad he’d hate himself even more for it. But he couldn’t lie.

“He didn’t hurt me this time,” Wolfram said, looking at Yuri’s face, trying to catch his eye to see a reaction and to broadcast that he was not lying. “I think that—” He inhaled deeply and forced himself to finish. “Might have had an affair. No, not might have,” Wolfram added, twisting the ring painfully hard. “I did and I’m sorry, but I’m not afraid of him now.”

Yuri didn’t know how to answer. It was obvious that Wolfram was in agony, his finger was starting to look raw around his ring, but he knew of nothing to say. Wolfram had called out the maou to ask why he’d been raped, and then—he was to believe—spontaneously they’d ended up sleeping together? No, he didn’t believe that. There was more to it that Wolfram wasn’t telling. Perhaps it had ended with that mutual agreement to replace the memories of the rape with one of passion.

Wolfram had been happy that morning. He’d been acting normal. Now he was sick with worry and trauma. He said that he wasn’t afraid of the maou anymore, and that was a good thing. The two had settled their issues in their own way. If it was for the better then Yuri felt that he could not complain. Wolfram appeared to be sorry that it ever happened and he seemed to think that his engagement was in jeopardy, but Yuri didn’t feel mad or deceived. If that was what it took for Wolfram to recover then who was he to call it bad?

“Yuri?” Wolfram said, drawing him from his thought. “I’m really sorry. I hadn’t meant to, it—”

“It’s alright,” he said softly, trying to offer a smile. “As long as you’re better I don’t mind. You two have your own way of doing…things…” Wolfram looked like he was either about to spit fire or begin hemorrhaging tears.

“It most certainly is not alright! You’re just saying that so you feel less guilty when you look at all those other pretty girls! You’re more of a cheater than me!”

“I guess that makes it alright then!” Yuri shouted back, almost liking the way Wolfram’s cheeks became flushed with rage.

“Fine! We’re even then!” Wolfram barked. They were quiet for a moment, Wolfram sitting his legs crossed nobly and his head turned away. He still looked annoyed and Yuri found that mildly comforting. And then it changed. “Say, Yuri?”

“Yes, Wolfram?” Yuri asked in a tone that hinted exhaustion.

“When is our wedding anyway?” Yuri almost choked on his tongue, but Wolfram’s had become untangled. “And what about the honeymoon?”

“H-honeymoon?” Yuri stammered.

“Yeah, where are we going?” Yuri simply stared him, unable to think and unable to comprehend. Wedding…honeymoon…especially the last part. If they were on their honeymoon, they would have to—not that he hadn’t already thanks to the bastard that used his body recklessly without his permission—and then what? “Yuri? I asked you a question!”

“Wherever you want to go,” Yuri mumbled uncomfortably. It was all downhill from there. Wolfram seemed more relaxed as he slid into Yuri’s bed, dressed in his usual nighttime attire. He thought he was being stealthy, Yuri felt, but he didn’t know that the owner of the bed he was invading was wide awake.

He was afraid of what might happen if he slept.

Wolfram was worrying about the same thing.

~Alice Von Wonderland

Closing Note: I don’t know what I was thinking, but I thought I would spit this chapter out before I got mentally constipated and went on hiatus. I don’t like this chapter much and find it un-genuine sounding, but if I were to rewrite it I’d like it even less and it wouldn’t save the world. So, enjoy un enjoy review or not. You’ll still get another chapter soon and it will be better than this one that exists merely to keep everything moving along.

Until Next Time

Alice Von Wonderland