Dying to Live

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyo Kara Maou.

Warning. There is some dark material ahead. For those who are wondering when I will get back to my more humorous roots...I honestly don't know. Probably when I am done with exams. About two or three chapters away. Thanks to my beta 2stupid and to my reviewers. You give me food for thought and encouragement to keep going.

Murata woke up on a soft bed. Snuggling deeper, he struggled to remember how he got there. He looked around. The room was nice; it had oak furniture- an armoire, the bed and a few chairs were the only pieces of furniture. Right across from the bed, a large mirror took up the majority of the wall. Murata studied himself briefly, sitting up- there was something odd about the mirror.

“Look who finally decided to wake up,” Hisao called, walking in and sitting on the bed. “You’ve been asleep for a while now. I thought you would never wake up.”

“I would always wake up for you,” Murata replied and smiled fuzzily. His brain tried to figure out something but just as quickly as it fluttered in his head, the thought was gone. “I feel funny.”

“I know, sweetheart; it’s just the drugs so you can relax and be with me. You want to be with me, don’t you?” Hisao questioned softly, studying his hands.

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Murata enthused, wrapping his arms around the man in a fierce hug. The sheets fell and he became aware of his nakedness; blushing, he grabbed the blanket and clenched it to his chest.

“Don’t be embarrassed.”

“I’m not.” Murata argued, frowning, letting his blanket drop; however, the blush remained.

“You are so beautiful,” Hisao whispered running a finger across the pale chest. “I can’t wait until we get closer.”

“We aren’t close now?” Murata inquired, leaning into Hisao’s touch. Hisao smiled predatorily before he responded.

“When I am inside you we will be even closer,” he whispered. “Would you like that?”

“Yes,” Murata nodded faintly.

“Let me go get something to relax you and then…” Hisao trailed off, smiling at Murata as he left the room.

Murata started panicking. Looking in the mirror, he tried to fix his hair and figure out the angle that made him look most enticing. As he prepped and preened in front of the mirror, Yuuri sat woodenly on the other side tied to a chair and watched.

He was cut and bleeding profusely; the drugs coursing through his system made him sensitive to sounds. Everything sounded amplified. He tried to focus, knew he needed to focus, but all he could do was watch and listen. He knew what was going to happen when Hisao reentered the room.

Murata was drugged, helpless, and desperate to please; Yuuri was ill and caught in the ‘what if’s. “If I only had told someone...” He whispered through cracked and bleeding lips. He listened as the door to the room was opened, the sound echoing oddly in his ears. Hisao stood poised in the doorway. He looked into the mirror and smiled; setting up a camera, he turned it on before he approached the waiting, smiling Murata.

Yuuri tried to close his eyes but he could still hear them, but he also knew that if he did not watch now he would be made to watch it later; Hisao had told him as much. Therefore, he opened his eyes.

Murata felt a thrill of excitement roll through him as he obediently took the ecstasy tablet Hisao feed him. Licking the fingers that gave it to him he moaned when the same fingers pressed against his entrance. Murata tried to relax and just let happen but it hurt so bad. When he whimpered, Hisao told him to shut up.

The three fingers inside him twisted and turned. Murata felt sick, hot and disembodied. When Hisao started telling him how good he was doing and how much he was loved, Murata listened as though in a tunnel. In the mirror he saw himself bleeding as Hisao grunted over him, thrusting deeper and deeper. Through the horrendous pain, Murata would occasionally feel a glimpse of pleasure but it faded quickly.

Abruptly Hisao was through. He cuddled Murata and gently coaxed him back to arousal and eventually orgasm. Holding him Hisao dripped poisonous lies into Murata’s ears, lies about love, their relationship and the future.

Subconsciously Murata did not believe him. Murata wanted to go inside himself and think, but the drugs and lethargy prevented it. Murata tried to make a note to analyze the situation but with Hisao whispering his love in his ear that was all he could think about and so the thoughts about being introspective faded away. Murata smiled sleepily even though he was uncomfortable with his drying blood and the cum residing in his body. As Murata peacefully drifted off Hisao smiled wolfishly at the mirror, left the room, leaving Murata naked on the bed asleep seemingly content.

Yuuri felt nauseous. “Does Murata really think that Hisao loves him?” His thoughts ran into each other as they flew around in his head. His heart was pounding quickly and his eyes stung; he felt like hurling but could only dry heave from his position in the chair.

“Did you enjoy the show?” Hisao asked, entering the room behind him. “I could get him to slit his own wrists if I wanted to.” He placed his arms loosely around Yuuri. “He would probably ask to suck my cock after he did it. Blood and cum are my favorite life forces; mix them with tears and it’s even better. It’s too bad you didn’t cry for me, but Gwendal did. I wonder if his little bitch of a brother would be nearly as good.” Yuuri felt rage hit him through his drug haze.

“If you touch him I’ll-”

“Temper, temper,” Hisao chided, hitting him roughly. “I prefer those with darker hair and eyes, if you hadn’t guessed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go back to my little plaything. When I finish with him maybe I’ll give him back so you can put the pieces back together, but somehow I think that when I’m done there won’t be much left.” He smiled at Yuuri before he turned to leave.

“What are you going to do with me?” Yuuri choked out, the blood in his mouth almost choking him.

“You get to be my private audience,” Hisao responded, opening the door. “If I get bored I might even feel it necessary to relive our brief acquaintance.”

Yuuri was once again alone when a thought penetrated his drug-induced haze. “He raped Gwendal.”


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Franc contemplated the benefits of wearing a wetsuit under his clothes as a precaution to water transportation. Studying his surroundings he contemplated how to find Yuuri when the pendent around his neck jerked him forward, seemingly pulled by Yuuri’s essence. Franc studied the lone building in that direction.

He was out in the country. A lake stood almost a full kilometer away from the house but the house’s largeness was clearly visible. Belatedly Franc realized he could be seen from the house, so he ran and hid behind a tree. Running from tree to tree, he paused occasionally to gauge his distance while the pendant steadily pulled him forward.

He was at the edge of the clearing surrounding the house when the front door opened. Franc watched as a man stepped out, put a cigarette in his mouth, and got in his car driving away. Franc counted to ten before he entered through an open window. Franc stopped and listened.

Hearing nothing he quietly went to from room to room. Listening at the doors while the pendant practically leaped off his neck trying to lead him. When he finally reached the door Franc turned the door knob and just held back a scream.

Yuuri sat tied to a chair. A two way mirror in front of him and one behind. A television played a blurred show. Franc ran to Yuuri and began to untie him but Yuuri stopped him.

“Hide Franc.” Yuuri mumbled through his bloody and cracked lips. “He is coming back soon and when he does I have to be here.”

“No Yuuri we have to go.” Franc insisted stunned by Yuuri’s words into inactivity.

“Not without Murata.” Yuuri whispered his eyes turning to the screen. Franc turned to see what Yuuri was watching and gasped because on the screen was Murata and a man Franc had never seen before. Franc stared at Murata’s dazed expression and bloodied passage.

“Oh God.” Franc began to shake.

“Leave now.” Yuuri whispered tears falling anew. “Come back tomorrow. He has to go to work tomorrow.”

“What if he takes the both of you with him?” Franc asked quietly.

“He wants me here so I can keep watching.” Yuuri responded bitterly. “Don’t worry about me Franc. I am beyond him now. My one worry is for Murata. Get Shori if you can.”

“I will do it.” Franc confirmed leaving the room and leaving the way he had came. The pendant around his throat started beating against his chest trying to get back to Yuuri but to no avail. Franc had his marching orders and now he needed to get Shori.

Beta’s Note: Yay, angst and Yuuri whumping. And I edited this while listening to ‘Bleed For You’, which is pretty much a song about the aftermath of being raped (how appropriate) while at the late Thanksgiving my family’s hosting. So now that you know how important this story is to some people, please review.